The first time I'd heard Michael sing, I knew he was good. Hell, I knew he was incredible. When I'd listened to those 5SOS songs in the car, I knew that they were incredible; all of them. What I wasn't prepared for though, was how good they would sound singing acoustic in their lounge at night with only lamps lighting the room.
Luke and Michael had acoustic guitars, Calum had set up and plugged in his bass and Ashton was sat on a cajon, smashing out the percussion. The music alone was great; they were all in time and the sound was full and complete. And then they started singing and I swear my mouth dropped somewhere throughout the song.
They'd sung a song of theirs that I hadn't heard before, "Voodoo Doll". Melissa and Olivia knew all the words and I wished that I did too. Most importantly, though, they all seemed to have a shit load of fun while singing. Luke's voice sounded autotuned – that was how good he was. Calum too. It became apparent pretty quickly that they could all sing, really well. I watched Ashton play, glancing at Olivia whose eyes were already on him. And Michael freaking Clifford. I could have watched him play, and sing, for forever. The whole time, it seemed like he was joking about something and the smile on my face only grew as they went on.
Talent. That was the only way to describe it. It was fun and effortless and they were all brilliant at what they did.
We clapped as they finished and I was completely blown away.
"Requests?" Calum asked dramatically, sweeping his hand out in a grand gesture.
"She Looks So Perfect," Olivia suggested.
"No, Beside You," Melissa argued.
They argued for a second before Luke looked to me. "Mali, which one?"
"Yeah, Mals," Ashton agreed. "Beside You or She Looks So Perfect?"
I looked to Liv and then Mel and then to the 5SOS boys. "Wrapped Around Your Finger?"
They seemed puzzled and laughter broke out.
"You said you'd never heard us?" Calum accused with a grin.
I shrugged. "I forgot that I knew about this one."
It was a lie. Since that time in the car, I'd gone home and listened to WAYF at least twenty more times. I knew all the words off by heart and felt kind of stalkerish to even admit to it.
They played it and it was even better hearing it in person than it would ever be on YouTube.
I didn't sing along. I didn't really want them to know that I'd been listening to them when they weren't around; that seemed a little crazy.
I liked the emotion on all of their faces as they sang and I liked the lovestruck look on Mel and Liv's faces while they watched. I liked the energy. I liked the whole situation, experience.
I didn't want them to stop. I felt comfortable, tucked up in Michael's shirt beside my two new girlfriends, watching my other new friends play music for us. I felt so real. I felt so me.
***
STEP FIVE: NAIL DOWN THAT JOB.
9am on the Monday of the following week approached quickly and before I knew it I was walking along Pepper Street towards Dough Boy's Doughnuts for my first, introductory shift.
It didn't feel like I'd been there a week. Time had flown and I'd never felt so comfortable living in a place before despite my little meltdown at the 5SOS apartment. I felt like I'd lived there since always. Living at the Hollowed-Inn had been a relaxing change and I found myself wanting to stay there forever. But, with this new week came a new challenge; racking up enough money to pay for another week's accommodation.
Eddie had already told me that I could pay him as soon as I had the money and that he didn't mind at all since there'd been no influx of new customers. I valued Eddie's character. I liked his graciousness and leniency and I vowed never to take advantage of it. As soon as I had the money I'd pay him back everything I owed him, including that first week he'd given me for free plus anything else I could afford to give him.
Dough Boys was quiet when I walked in and the woman who'd offered me this chance stood at the counter, watching me approach. I looked for a name badge and found one that read 'Rosie' on the left side of her now white apron.
"You're back," she commented. "I wasn't sure I'd see you again."
I smiled at her, passed her my fresh and fake ID and shrugged. "Couldn't pass up such a kind offer."
She simply nodded, told me that I'd have to fill out some paper work later and opened a small door to the side of the counter. "I'm glad you're here. I've been swamped with orders all morning and could really use a hand with the boxing."
"Sure thing," I responded, eyes taking in the behind-the-counter scene.
Everything was clean and shiny, a nice silver to all of the machines and pans. I had no idea how she'd managed to keep the place so spotless all by herself. I wondered how many others worked here; surely there were more people that helped out around here than just her.
She led me through a door with dangling plastic into a room out the back where ovens and sinks were. It was a small-ish room but more than big enough to get work done. It also smelt heavenly.
"I've got the icing down," Rosie told me, coming to a tray of doughnuts that rested on a counter, waiting to be iced. "I'll just need you to box them according to the orders. The receipts are in that folder, so all you have to do is follow them."
I found the folder she was talking about and set to work, gloving my hands and popping the right amount of the right doughnuts into the snap-into-shape cute little boxes ready for collection. Rosie told me about how people ordered doughnuts for kids parties, special events and even weddings. Doughboys had its regular customers and then random customers. The only people who really came into the shop to buy directly out of the window were tourists and those on their way to work.
I liked Rosie. She told me about her daughter – she was eighteen and had an awful boyfriend who treated her wrong. She also told me that there were only two other people, beside herself, that worked at Doughboys and half the time they called in sick or just weren't able to work.
I felt bad for her. It seemed like she cared a great deal about her little shop and the thought of her having to stress over it all by herself made me glad that I was now around to help her out.
Hours passed, Rosie preparing the doughnuts and myself boxing them. We fell into an easy routine and I quickly grew to love the vibe of her little place.
At 4pm, we'd cleaned the shop after finishing all of the orders. All of the boxes were packed and ready to go; Rosie delivered all over LA and I was surprised that so many people were into her doughnuts. They were good, I could testify to that.
I'd filled out the appropriate forms while Rosie talked me through what days she'd like me to work and the hours.
She then opened the till and pulled out a few notes. "Mali, you've been a superb help. Thank you for today."
I shook my head, holding my hands up instead of taking her money. "No, no, no, this was a trial shift."
She smiled, and this was rare. Rosie was lovely but had only probably smiled twice during all those hours we'd spent together.
"I'm paying you for today," she insisted.
"You're too kind, Rosie," I said, voice overcome by disbelief. "Really."
I took what she offered me, thanked her again and let her shoo me out of the shop and into the cold street. The sun was going to set soon and quickly and I wanted to be home, in the comfort of my heated room. In the comfort of a place that was all mine.
***
A week passed. I stopped in at Marcy's as often as I could but with my new job and all of the hours I was working, finding the time to hang out with Liv and Mel was a little hard. We all had our own commitments. Not to mention, I hadn't known them for very long so I don't think I was at the top of their priorities right then. Still, I managed to see them a good few times and they'd update me on the things that had been going on in between my visits.
I hadn't seen the 5 Seconds of Summer boys since the night I'd stayed over their place. As little as I knew them, I missed them. I missed the liveliness.
I had Saturday off and so I decided that I was going to experiment with a new hair colour. I knew fully well that pink wasn't me. It was time to try again and find something that was. I had no idea which hue to go with and spent the entire morning sitting on my little blue sofa, coffee in hand, thinking. I never usually had a problem with choosing a colour. Normally, I would just dye it the first thing that popped into my mind. But this time felt different, felt important; as though this was it. This next colour was going to be right. I needed to get this right.
Green. Orange. Bright blonde. Pale blue. White. Black.
Streams of colours floated in and out of my mind and I got distracted so many times that by noon, I was walking to Marcy's with no clue what colour I wanted to replace the pink.
My parents would have wanted me to just dye it brown, like it was naturally supposed to be. Every time I'd come home with different hair, they'd run me through the "we love you but we're not very happy about this" speech. And I would tell them the same "I need to do this for myself" story and they would look at each other like I'd gone crazy. They didn't understand and I didn't blame them. This whole 'finding myself' obsession wasn't normal for a twenty-one year old woman. I was supposed to already know what I wanted to be, what I wanted to do by now. But truth was, I didn't. Not a single clue.
"There's my girl," Olivia greeted as I walked into Marcy's. My face was completely frozen and I was grateful that she had the usual heater going. It was Mel's day off and at the present time, Olivia didn't have any clients.
"Hey," I shivered, slumping down into a salon chair. "Can you dye my hair?"
Liv stared at me for a moment before breaking out into a fit of laughter. Through it, she said, "you're very direct, aren't you?"
I grinned and nodded. "I'm sick of pink."
She was already walking back to the drawers of colours, grabbing a bowl and brush while I pulled on a salon apron.
"What colour do you want?" She asked me, still chuckling and flicking through the different dyes.
I still didn't have a clue, so I shrugged. "One that's me."
She raised a brow. "You want me to choose?"
I nodded. "Yes, please."
"You're giving me full choice?"
I laughed, exaggerating my nod a bit more. "Yes, go for your life."
She squealed and clapped her hands, rummaging through and pulling out a couple of dye packs. I trusted her, as a hairdresser, to give me something that worked. I trusted her, as a new friend, to be able to pick me – from what she knew of me – in the form of a colour.
She chatted to me while she dyed my hair, refusing to tell me what she'd chosen until it was all done. She told me about how her relationship with Ashton had gone kind of rickety in the past two days. They were finding it hard to see each other in between Olivia's work and Ashton's band's meetings. She told me that relationships were hard when your significant other, your 'soulmate' as she called him, was constantly touring the world or visiting family in Australia.
"How come you don't go to Australia with him?" I asked. Surely he could afford to take her with him.
"And leave all the work here to Mel?" She shook her head. "It wouldn't be fair."
"You're allowed to take a break, you know," I told her. And she was. Nobody deserved to feel like they were rooted in one spot without any right to leave.
"I know but it's just hard," she told me, brushing dye through my locks. "Ash gets it but I know he doesn't particularly like it. He knows I don't like him being gone either."
"It all sounds complicated."
She smiled and nodded. "It is. Don't fall in love with any of them; it just makes your life a hell of a lot harder."
"Clearly you think it's worth it though, right?" I said, looking at her through the mirror in front of me. She looked slightly forlorn – maybe tired. I didn't like that this whole thing was making her upset.
"He's worth all of it," she told me, as if this was a fact. Not questionable. "I just hope that I'm worth all of it to him."
All of the times I'd seen them together it had been obvious that Ash was completely into Liv. I didn't doubt his feelings for her one bit and I didn't want her to either.
"Don't be silly," I said with a smile. "I've seen the way he looks at you."
She smiled back and I was glad I'd said the right thing. "Thanks, Mals. I think I just miss him."
I nodded and thought for a second. "He's heading home in what, three weeks?"
She shook her head. "In just over two."
Time had clearly flown.
"You need to take a weekend off or something, I think," I told her.
I wasn't one to give relationship advice. If I couldn't keep a stable one going for a decent amount of time then I certainly wasn't one to talk. But I wanted to see her and Ashton work out, at all costs. They were supposed to be together; anyone that knew either of them, even a little bit, knew that.
"A weekend off just for us?" She asked.
I nodded instantly. "Plan out a couple of days or something and just hang."
She thought for a bit and eventually nodded. "Yeah, you're right, I guess one weekend couldn't hurt."
I wasn't entirely sure that I was but it definitely was worth a go.
"I'll surprise him, next weekend," she told me and her voice was growing excited. "We might go stay in Hollywood or something, somewhere nice."
"There we go," I said with a grin.
She rinsed and washed my hair before attacking it with a blow dryer. My chair was purposefully turned so that I couldn't see myself in any of the mirrors. I was kind of excited.
While she worked, I told her about my new job. I told her about Rosie and how kind and patient she'd been with me since I'd started. I got paid after every shift and had already managed to pay Eddie for my next week's stay. He refused money for my first week. I'd find some way to pay him for it but for now I was just thankful that I'd been so fortunate with people since coming here. Olivia was happy for me.
"Okay, are you ready?" She asked me, switching the blow dryer off and standing in front of me. She was smiling from ear to ear so I assumed she was pleased with the end result.
"So ready."
She turned me and I was in awe. I couldn't believe that the hair I was looking at belonged to me.
The roots of my hair started off a navy blue-black type colour and faded down into a light blue. It was a colour scheme I'd never used before, never considered before. And I was instantly in love with it.
"Wanna know why?" Olivia asked me while I grinned like an idiot into the mirror.
I nodded. "Why?"
She smiled and patted the top of my hair. "Black, because you're a mystery, Mali. I swear, I do not understand you one bit and I don't know anything about you or your past at all. And blue, because despite that, I feel calm when you're around. You make no sense at all and yet I'm in complete awe of you. I think we're going to be best friends one day."
a/n: really hope you enjoyed, this chapter was kind of all over the place but was a necessary filler :) please please please vote and comment, always makes my day reading what y'all have to say! also, i've attached mali's new hair colour ;)