Yuichiro's Point Of View
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⠀September 14th, 2015
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⠀⠀⠀Dear Diary, it's been— what, five months since Mika has asked me to be his boyfriend? Even though Shinoa and I broke up, we're still friends and we rarely bring up the situation. Really, it's been the best few months I've ever experienced in my lifetime! We've done a lot of things over the summer like going to the beach, flying to different places, and got matching shirts. It isn't fair, though! Mika is said to be the man of this relationship when it's obvious that I'm the man, and he's the woman! But nonetheless, I feel as though we're perfect for one another. I love him so much with all of my heart. He'll forever be my prince ( and I guess I'm the princess ).
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⠀⠀⠀Currently, I've been doing a project in college with Yoichi, and it's sad that nowadays I don't get to be around with Mikaela that much.
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⠀⠀⠀I try my best, really, to get home to Mikaela as quickly as I can, but no matter how hard I try— Yoichi and I can never get things done and get me home on time. It's just simply impossible. It's not like I know that it makes Mikaela distressed and lonely when I never get to eat dinner with him or fall asleep in his hold. Sadly, it just never seems to work out as we expected. Mikaela gets irritated at times, not greeting me when I get home and leaving my dinner on the table. All he does is stuff himself into our room, locking the door until he knows that I'm ready to sleep.
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⠀⠀⠀It breaks my heart, honestly, but our project has to get completed in the small amount of time we have.
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⠀⠀⠀I love being with Yoichi. He's a great guy with such shyness that it turns out to be cute; cuter than I'd have ever thought it'd be. Perhaps, it was just the way his hair seemed to fall into place? The fact that it was quite messy, fluffy, yet ended up still being healthy was filled with cuteness. Or maybe, it was his dilated-green eyes were what made him what he is now?
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⠀⠀⠀Or was it the smile?
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⠀⠀⠀His sweet personality?
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⠀⠀⠀Hell, I didn't know. But whatever it was that he owned made my heart go total berserk! I mean, not totally berserk that it made me lose sight on my love for my precious Mikaela... but it was enough to make my cheeks inflame along with a dreamy sigh to escape my lips. I didn't want to lose Mika, but at the same time, I wanted Yoichi to be mine, and mine alone.
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⠀⠀⠀I wanted to wrap my arms around his tiny waist, pressing him against my own frame for warmth or just for closeness. I wanted to kiss his forehead and tender lips at random times, his voice squeaking in complaint, but still acknowledging that he liked it. I wanted him to run to his heart's content then leap into my very arms, never letting go.
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⠀⠀⠀It took a lot to not insert an, "I think, perhaps, Mika isn't my prince, after all, and that, Yoichi may be my other half..." into my diary. Usually, most of my feelings and thoughts dwelled amongst these very pages and yet, I couldn't put them down for risk that Mikaela might see it.
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⠀⠀⠀Erm, but of course, I still wanted to be with Mikaela, too— obviously.
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⠀⠀⠀Oh, weren't relationships hard to comprehend? The method of how it just twists and turns for many reasons, or none at all. At times, you'll love a person to death that you feel sick— or as some people call it, love sick. But during the other points in time, it just feels as if they are just another person in your life— nothing more. It was either you felt they were everything, or simply nothing at all. Sometimes it was like they were your oxygen that you so desperately needed, or someone you'd willingly throw aside. Sadly, it didn't seem there was an in between.
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⠀⠀⠀Though, I wish there were.
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⠀⠀⠀I didn't want to throw Mikaela aside like he were garbage waiting to be tossed. I didn't want to feel as if he were just a sack of blood in this world. I wanted to love him, but something inside me spoke and told me that Yoichi was a better option. Yoichi would forever stay the same little, adorable person he was, always shy and filled with cuteness. As for Mikaela, he was more of scary than cute.
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⠀⠀⠀A glare— one long, skin-crawling glare was all it took for others to jump in surprise and flee without words. Once the fiery-blue gaze met with anyone's, it was enough to send humanity down to their very knees.
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⠀⠀⠀To be honest, I didn't know who I liked, loved more. I couldn't just say I adored one more than the other, because it just wasn't truthful. It was as if I loved them both and wanted to be with, well, both. But even I know that that's not even a possibility nor an option that I can choose from, not that it would work out anyway. Mikaela and Yoichi were settled among an important area in my heart, and the thought of one of them vanishing completely from my life was something I couldn't have. I needed the both of them, or none at all.
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⠀⠀⠀But for the time being, I was making my way back to our apartment, hands running through my matted tresses in exhaustion. It was currently ten o'clock at night, stars twinkling and swimming among the shadowy skies that acted as the never-ending ocean. It sunk deep into the night as if it were an underwater abyss, drowning each and every sparkle inside its cave-like entrance. As frightening as it sounds, it was how I thought of the stars. They were far, and I mean far away from where we were, yet they still seemed to keep their twinkling alive and noticeable.
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⠀⠀⠀During the darkest of nights, no matter how far and deep the abyss-like-sky seemed to strangle the stars' light, it was a beautiful sight.
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⠀⠀⠀I let out a long, dragging yawn as my hands fumbled with the house key that was entangled with the other useless things inside my jean pockets. The keychains and the key itself dangled as I managed to released whatever else was attached to it, inserting it roughly into the keyhole before opening the door slowly. It is ten, so Mika wouldn't quite be asleep yet, I told myself whilst entering the somewhat silent dwelling.
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⠀⠀⠀It came to no surprise when the small living area and probably all of the apartment was pitch-black, hands struggling to search for the light switch in hopes for some kind of lighting. Once I thought— thought— that I had found the switch, I pressured my finger upon it, watching as the brightness of the room lighten. A smile was brought up to meet my cheeks as I turned to walk over to the room, in search of Mikaela.
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⠀⠀⠀But there was no need for such action, for the blonde-haired male was settled on the couch, hands resting across his chest with a deadpan expression.
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⠀⠀⠀I usually would never take his sour attitude to heart, but there was something else I had to put out there— Mikaela has never made such an angry face in his lifetime either. Or perhaps, he has, just not directly at me. His narrowed gaze made my heart race in sudden terror, eyelids dilating in size, feet choosing to use slow motions of backing up and away from him. Blue flames danced among his sclera, his teeth gritting tightly as he seemed to notice my plan of running away. But even I knew that I, Yuichiro Hyakuya, couldn't escape the hands of Mikaela.
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⠀⠀⠀"M-Mika, hey!" I stammered, a frightened smile plastered upon my lips. Mikaela hissed, deciding to stand up from the comfy couch, making his way over to the other side of the house currently known as my side. "Don't hey me, Yuu-chan," He growled lowly, the rumbling audible from amongst his chest. "I thought we talked about this many times for the last three weeks. As long as you came back for dinner at seven, I'd let you finish whatever the Hell you needed with... Yoichi." His words were trickling with venom, lips spitting out my friend's name in hatred.
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⠀⠀⠀"Oh, sorry! I promise, it won't happen again!" I attempted at laughing it off, feet slipping through the gaps as to escape the all-too-petrifying situation. But of course, it wasn't enough to satisfy his needs.
⠀⠀⠀"Don't you understand at all?" Mikaela snarled, taking ahold of my arm once I had tried to walk away. With one rapid swing, I was once again pressed back into the wall, each nerve rising in both annoyance and fear. "You don't, and don't even try to deny it! Do you ever stop and think of how I feel each time you don't come back at the time we planned? It is frightening, making me think that something terrible has happened to you.
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⠀⠀⠀"And to think that you don't even tell me anything of your being! You don't say that you're fine or even notify that you'll be late. You just do what you do and expect for everything to be alright!" Mikaela bellowed, the tranquil and calm self vanishing right before my eyes. It was a surprise, really, to see Mikaela the way he was now. Usually, he would lock himself away from the problem, release all of his running frustration in the room, then be fine the next day.
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⠀⠀⠀But I should've known.
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⠀⠀⠀There was just so much you could take.
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⠀⠀⠀It was frustrating. It angered me. It made me wonder what I saw in this man that made my heart go berserk and stay with him. It made me think, why do I love him? Mikaela sounded like more of a monarch than my lover, and it wasn't the type that meant he cared about me. No, it was like he was trying to trap me— never allowing me to escape in any way.
⠀⠀⠀I am not a pet, I thought in exasperation, so caging me away from everything and everyone is ridiculous! My arms began to move all on their own, hand pressing against his chest as I shoved him away. He hit the opposite wall with a loud thump, hissing in slight pain from the impact. I was inflamed; enraged; infuriated by everything. "I'm not a child, Mika! I'm an adult that can do whatever the Hell I want to do! You are not some ruler that controls my entire being, so stop making up rules and regulations I should be following!" I yelled, "And for the love of God, leave Yoichi alone!"
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⠀⠀⠀From the sound of my friend's name leaving my mouth, Mikaela froze upon the wall, eyes somewhat widening. He didn't seem to like anything that had something to do with Yoichi, especially in conversation or just his name in general. It's when he began to laugh— a deep chuckle that sent pitiful chills down my spine— that caught my rage to a complete yield.
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⠀⠀⠀"Oh," Mikaela chuckled all of a sudden, a tiny smile forming upon his tender lips that were no longer kissable from this angle. "I get it now."
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⠀⠀⠀His facial features scrunched up in what looked like wraith, his fingertips brushing over the tip of a vase. A gulp erupted from my throat as he stared down at the ground, pupils wide and lips curved into an insane, sinister grin. "I see how it is, Yuu-chan. You seem to be attached to this, so called Yoichi-person. Say, do you have feelings for him like I have feelings for you, or are they different?"
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⠀⠀⠀"Mika—"
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⠀⠀⠀"I don't expect you to answer truthfully, so for now—" His hand fully grasped upon the vase, fingers wrapping tightly around the imprinted circular structure of the rim. "I guess I'll have to resort to this." Mikaela brought the object up to his chest, holding it with one hand without support as he seemed to bring it up to his head. It took me a while, no doubt, but once it struck me right upon the head, I fell over and hit the floor with an extremely loud thump.
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⠀⠀⠀"Yuu-chan. Oh, my sweet Yuu-chan. I know you don't know me like you think you do, because I am not who you think I am. My whole being is corrupted. I don't need to hide the truth from you, and I will not hold it back anymore. It has been too long. I've used all of my strength to create this horrid person to vanish, but no success. There is nothing you can do to help me. I am unable to be healed from such a horrible disease like this— I am so ill from this, I am insane."
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⠀⠀⠀What is he talking about, I wondered with a crazed expression, what sickness is he meaning?
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⠀⠀⠀"I'm sorry, Yuu-chan," The blonde murmured just loud enough for me to hear. "I'm crazy. You won't love me after all of this. So because of that, I'm going to make sure you're mine, and only mine!
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⠀⠀⠀"This Yoichi-person won't be able to come and get you. He won't ever take your love away from me, and for damn sure he won't ever take you out of my grasp. I was nice enough to spare your friend, Yuu-chan, because to be very honest— I was going to kill him whether you liked it or not. His blood would be on my hands, and I'd be glad to own it. But being the person I am, knowing that my precious lover wouldn't love me after that, I ceased my action and decided to give you another chance.
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⠀⠀⠀"But you crushed it, and I knew you would. All your promises were lies, all lies! You crushed them between your little fingers as if it wouldn't affect me, but you were wrong.
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⠀⠀⠀"You've released a monster, and that monster ended up being me. If I can't have you all to myself, that meaning every single part of your body, then no one can. No one. I didn't want to tell you because I knew it'd scare you away, and I wouldn't want you to ran away from me. No, not at all. But now, since you're right here, I guess I'll tell you the truth about me, Mikaela Shindō.
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⠀⠀⠀"I am sick. I am disgusting. You think I'm anything but that, yes? It's funny to think that you went about looks instead of personality. You're in danger now, Yuu-chan, and it's all of your fault.
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⠀⠀⠀"You're mine now, and only mine."
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⠀⠀⠀Frozen in fear, body trembling beneath my skin as I stayed where I was, unable to move, nor willing to. There was no where I could run to anyway, so what was the point in attempting? With one last hope of survival left, I gave a loud gasp of fear, "No, Mika, what you're doing is crazy...!"
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⠀⠀⠀Mikaela's dark eyes shimmered in amusement, item still raised above his head as prepared to strike a blow. "No, that won't work on me. I know what I'm doing is insane, so I'm quite conscious about what is about to happen. Didn't you listen? I'm sick and cannot, will not, be cured from said illness.
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⠀⠀⠀"You won't escape, Yuu-chan, because I will use your fear against you." The blonde-haired brute gave a hum of satisfaction. "Goodnight, for now!" He rang out cheerfully. And with that, I was struck heavily against the back of my head. Over and over, I squeaked in agony toward the impact, but had no saying in any way. Blood was visible; it must've been pouring out, I knew of it, too. My eyelids began to droop, nerves desperate for me to stay alive and defeat my lover whom was trying to hurt me.
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⠀⠀⠀And Hell, it was working.
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⠀⠀⠀He was hurting me, killing me, physically, and surprisingly— mentally.
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Hi there, new chapter!
Sorry it was late, y'know, school and all that good stuff....
I love the feedback I'm getting, it's making me quite proud that I have decided to bring this out for you all to enjoy!
Vote / Comment / Enjoy
Sorry for short note, but I'm off to school now.
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— Scarlet
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