What if I jump?
Who would notice my body?
As it fell and crashed onto the marble staircase
Painting white, red
My red that poured out of my body
Just to allow pain
Some feeling running through my body again
How wonderful
I stare down from the top of the stairs
Pain has never been so enticing
My heart pounds louder
Fear has disappeared
I am not afraid
Not of the fall
Not of the pain
Not of whom I shall hurt
I fear nothing but the insanity rotting my mind
Allowing me to think this is alright
Acceptable to me
Murder to others
How can you call me a murderer?
When I have done no such
I see myself more of a healer
A vanquisher of my own misery
Why look at me so disgusted?
Strapping me to this chair
Trying to shock my system
Jolt the suicidal thoughts out of my mind
And into a jar to be stored away forever
Then return me to society
Where I can put on my black and white coat
And be on my way
To my home where my children lay asleep
Or to my work where I am late for a meeting
Or whatever suits their fancy
But somewhere other than those stairs
Such beautiful stairs
They entice me better than any man has ever been able to do
Of course they don't speak but they do gaze at me
With glimmering white marble eyes
That whisper "Come closer. Come to me, dear child"
And I fight to turn away
They are just a siren's song
And I'm trapped out all alone at sea
The waves are rough
No more
No more please
This is what suicide means to me
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