Whenever Fizz was shaken awake, it took only a few short seconds for the shock to set in. When she felt her body shake, it signalled that she was having a panic attack or had experienced a nightmare.
Her parents were nowhere in sight or sound when Fizz woke up in a frenzy. To her disbelief, she discovered that she had fallen asleep headfirst on her notebook which at the time, the ink from the pen must not have dried fully. Jumping out of bed, she gasped in surprise when she saw her written words plastered all over her face.
"This is amusing," said Fizz with a surprise twinkle in her eye, "My own writing plastered on me, that must be some sort of trend."
Her eyes casted down towards the back of her hand which was covered in black ink, "My pen must have exploded."
Checking the time quickly, she raced downstairs to get some breakfast and sort her school bag out with everything she needed for the day. On arrival downstairs, she was greeted by a piece of paper on the side of the worktop.
"What's that doing here?" asked Fizz as she took the paper to inspect it, "Oh, that's mum's handwriting."
With baited breath, she began to read what her mum had written to her most likely written earlier the same morning.
"Felicity,
I admit that when I was your age, I used to be scared of locking up the house and checking things were in order. There was a lot of responsibility involved but I know that you will do a good job. Dad and I are proud of you, all we thought is that because you are growing up, we wanted to treat you like an adult. Have a good day at school and sorry for barking at you last night.
Love mum." xx
"There have been times when my parents have apologized for barking at me and promise not to do it again but they still do!" whined Fizz, "Just feels like fighting a battle that I'm always going to lose."
Her appetite wasn't brilliant after reading the thoughts her mum had to say. But if Fizz didn't eat then she would pass out from hunger and being the centre of attention was not on the agenda.
Putting on her school uniform carefully, taking time to make sure that everything was neat, Fizz felt her eyes direct towards the window where dark clouds had started to form outside. If there was one thing that she hated, that was rain and storms, they dampened her spirits even more than they were. After all, with Anxiety, bad weather would often cause more fear than if the weather was sunny as being outside in a thunderstorm wasn't the prettiest of things to go through.
Homework in the bag and the house in some sort of order, Fizz slowly locked up the house and travelled in the direction of her school. She wasn't the only student to use the same route as she often saw groups of students walking with their blazers on and if the weather was wet, carrying thick umbrellas above their head.
At the gates by the school sign, Fizz watched in dismay as the first raindrops began to fall onto the ground. As an avid lover of music, she had heard the song all too frequently:
"Raindrops keep falling on my head."
They were here as she quickened her pace to get inside quickly before the worst of it came. Many of the students had the same idea as here in the front corridor, it was choc-a-block full of people trying to not only get to class but also to catch up with their friends. After all, some students had to travel long distances to get to school as the catchment area was so long.
"Hey Berry!" yelled Ben, "Get over here!"
Fizz sighed and walked towards the group of boys that lingered in the corridor, "Yes?"
"You're in big trouble Berry."
"For what?"
Ben smirked that grin which made Fizz's heart race, "You weren't in class yesterday."
"So?"
"Did you forget about the assessment that we were meant to be sitting?"
Fizz tried to look towards Ben's eyes, "I didn't forget about it, I had a meeting with someone yesterday." Two downright lies in one sentence.
Obviously, the look on Ben's face did show that he wasn't convinced with what Fizz had replied, "If you're sure Berry."
"One thing, it's Felicity, not Berry."
The group of boys laughed, "We much rather prefer Berry!"
Fizz frowned in disappointment as the boys went off laughing towards class. They preferred her surname rather than Felicity as all of her bullies called her that. Every attempt to try and make them change how and what they called her but nine times out of ten, that wasn't going to happen. Why were boys so immature? That was the question lots of girls asked around the world. Fizz was still waiting to hear that answer.
It was only a few steps more when she felt someone directly standing behind her and that was creating some tense feelings into Fizz.
"Felicity, a word please."
Fizz looked towards the person speaking to her and on doing so, she felt shaking coming on and when shaking did come on, it was hard to control. It was her teacher whose lesson Fizz missed yesterday as she was hiding in a toilet cubicle with a broken lock.
As the warning bell rang, Fizz followed her teacher up a flight of stairs to an office with two desks and windows with a view over the school ground. Somehow through all of the craziness that had been happening since yesterday, Fizz managed to sit down without causing damage to anything or anyone.
"Now Felicity, do you know why I have asked you to come and see me?" asked the teacher.
Fizz felt her hands turn sweaty, "Because I missed yesterday's lesson."
The teacher let out a sigh as she grabbed her mug and took a sip of hot tea from it, her fingers displayed some silver nail polish and her arms looked a little tanned. Fizz often saw her teacher wearing silver rings and a lovely pendant from a department store.
"Is anything troubling you at home?" she asked.
Fizz shook her head, "No, things are fine at home."
"It's just Felicity that for quite a while now, you've become withdrawn and the high standard that we saw from you seems to have lost its sparkle."
Fizz fidgeted nervously, "I try and complete all of the work that is set for me."
"But you've missed assessments and even an exam that you should have sat recently and that has rung alarm bells with the faculty here as a cause for concern.
'A course for concern', those words stung deeply.
"We need to make some important decisions and quickly if things are going to change." added her teacher.
"So, does that mean I might not sit my GCSEs?" asked Fizz with a pang in her stomach.
"Possibly not."
Her parents were going to be so frustrated with Fizz now and she could tell. Just why was having Anxiety and having to monitor it on a daily basis be such a huge problem? To her, it was obvious the school didn't want her anymore and it did hurt.
"Would you like some water Felicity?" asked her teacher, "You've turned really pale."
"Um... no... thank you..." mumbled Fizz, "I'll go and have some fresh air."
"No, I would rather..." began her teacher as Fizz grabbed her school bag and darted out, "Felicity!"
Her speed started to pick up as she dodged her way out onto the back of the school grounds by the small garden where the year sevens looked after the plants and vegetables that were growing. Ducking down behind one of the thick hedges, Fizz felt tears coming on. She was a failure, an utter failure and she knew it, the school knew it, the bullies knew it, everyone knew it.
As she moved back to sit down, she felt her body lean backwards and down onto the ground, "Please, I don't want to faint."
She blinked and blinked again until to her surprise, she noticed that she fallen through a hole in the fence which backed onto a lane which lead out to the main road. In other words, it was an escape route.
"Should I or shouldn't I?" questioned Fizz quietly, "I need to make up my mind before someone finds me here."
Her heart pounded to tell her that someone was coming, she needed to move now. With a deep breath and counts to ten in her head, Fizz climbed through the hole with her school bag and ran down the lane, away from school and out towards freedom but at what cost?
What will happen next I wonder? Well, you'll have to wait for the next chapter so you can find out! Scarlett x