Stumbling up to Luke's room, I peeked through the door seeing him laying there on his phone. "Hey babe!" He greeted motioning for me to come in.
"So what happened? Did you get a picture? Is he cute? " he bombarded me with questions. Tears welled in my eyes, "no Luke.. It was a false positive" I whimpered. "So there's no baby?" He whispered. I nodded and held back tears, "I guess it's for the best. We know how mad Jeff got" i said
He scrunched his eyebrows, "no Mia, we just need to try again!" He whispered excited. I forced a smile, "we can't Luke, then they'll know we planned it.." I said sadly. He nodded kissing my cheek, "look it's James day tomorrow.. So I'm on a go sleep in his room" i whispered walking out quickly.
As soon as I shut his door a let the tears run down my face. I ran to James' room swinging open the door. "What? What's wrong?!" He whisper yelled sitting up from his bed concerned.
"James you can't tell anyone. Okay. I need someone to talk to and I trust you but..but" I said looking down. He got up from his bed and lifted my chin, "you can trust me, I won't tell anyone" he said zipping his lips and throwing the key. I cracked a small smile "Jeff made me abort the baby.. And tell you Guys it was a false alarm.. He said he would kill my parents if I didn't" I half sobbed. James gasped before embracing me as I cried, "oh god love, I'm so so sorry. The bastard" he muttered rocking me slightly.
He brought me to the bed and whispered sweet things into my ear as I cried.
When my sobbing slowed he listed my face by my chin. And when he saw my face tears welled in his eyes too, "I won't ever let this Happen to you again love" he said his voice cracking a bit.
"thank you so much James" i whispered smiling. Then before I could comprehend what was happening our lips where connected, and it was different than when I kissed the other boys. It filled my stomach with this warm feeling.
I kissed back still not understanding how I could feel this way for James. I thought i loved Luke.. With Luke my heart sped, and my cheeks flushed making me feel alive. But with James my body warmed, and it seemed like time stopped making me feel at home.
As we broke apart I closed my eyes confused. "I-I'm sorry Mia" he breathed out. "No no, question did you feel the same things I did?" I asked opening my eyes and looking into his. He tilted his head, "feel things like what?" He asked, I looked down "like i Felt all warm inside and and like time just stopped and like.. Like I belonged here with.. You" I whispered hearing myself and chuckling. "That sounds stupid" I added. He lifted my face smiling, "yes" was the only word he muttered before crashing his lips onto mine again. This time not breaking away so quickly.
After I don't know how long his swollen lips broke apart from mine. And we just laid there cuddling until sleep consumed us.
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I woke to James locking his arms around me tighter. Smiling I looked at his sleeping features. Yes I was Being creepy but I don't care.
He helped me through so much...but I don't understand how I could have feelings for both him and Luke. Yet every time I looked at Luke I saw the abortion clinic. I felt the empty feeling of loosing my baby. I closed my eyes before looking back at James to see he woke up. "Good Morning sleepy head" I chuckled, "Mornin' love" he grumbled in his gravelly morning voice. I bit my lip, "that morning voice isn't making things easier lemme tell you that" I giggled. "Why is it hard?" He asked serious, I sighed "because James, all of this happening makes me question whether or not I loved Luke.." I said gesturing between me and him, He swallowed looking down.
"I uh didn't know you love him.." He muttered, I frowned "all I think about when I see him, is the baby.. And that hurts. And I dunno, maybe I rushed into it because I wanted to be free from this" I whispered toward the end. "And he gave me that chance.." I whimpered.
"I think you should talk to Luke. He's my best mate. He would like for you to talk it out" James said stroking my cheek. I nodded and checked the clock on the bedside table.
10:37 am it read.
Deciding it was late enough to talk I hugged James bye and tip toed out to Luke's room.
Cracking open the door, I saw Luke just laying there. Half way draped off the bed, but awake. " Luke?" I whispered trying to get his attention. He looked over and smiled weakly, "I was just gonna come talk to you" he said.
I wander what about?..
Nodding I came and sat next to him, "what did you wanna talk about?" I asked. "Oh um us" he said simply. Kinda shocked I nodded "me too".
"Okay you first then" he said biting his lip, I chuckled "I actually think it would be better if you went first". He raised an eyebrow laughing. "Well okay then, um so my kinda ex-girlfriend came back into town. And she made me remember what it really feels to love someone. I mean don't get me wrong I care about you, I just think-" he started to let me down easy. How ironic, I laughed interrupting him "we rushed it? Me too. And you don't have to let me down easy cus I mean I feel the same way". He sighed "oh thank god!" We both laughed, "I would of stayed with you if you had gotten pregnant though, don't get me wrong" he said. My chest ached at the comment, I laughed "yea yea, it's just weird to me cus. You made me feel so alive, and excited. But i didn't realize it wasn't more than that" I explained scrunching my eyebrows, he nodded in agreement. "I can't express how happy I am this didn't end badly" he mumbled. "Yea yea, and um Luke? You don't mind if me and James are a thing right?" I asked. His eyes shone with a odd emotion I could read, "he's why you realized this?" He asked. I shook my head yes "that and the baby thing" I whispered.
"Um yea, I'm okay with it. I mean I'm gonna be with my ex so it would be wrong of me to say I wasn't okay with it" he explained. I smiled and hugged him bye, "well I'll see you later Luke, by the way I wanna hear more about this girl. You really seem to love her" I smiled. I really wasn't jealous at all, it was great.
He smiled back "of course, now get back to Jamesy poo" he winked as I walked out.
Well that was easy, i think the "pregnancy scare" put everything in perspective for him.