I hardly got any sleep. The few hours of sleep that I got were basically me dreaming about this piece of paper and the words written inside of it.
You're busted.
When I wake up, I stay in bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what it meant, and who sent it. I'm positively sure that it is about going to the city at night, but who knows about it? The only people who do are Harry, Niall, Zayn, Ed, Esme and Wren, and there is no way in hell that it might be one of them, because all of them accompanied Wren, Esme and I sometimes. So if anything, they are in danger too.
However, this is someone else, surely someone else. But, I never did anyone any harm; I never broke any rule except this one. So, who could possibly be that person?
I sigh heavily and get up, taking a few more minutes because of the fuzziness of my head. It's already eight. Walking to the bathroom, I wash my teeth and face before heading to my room and changing into a pair of blue jeans, a grey tee shirt with a black jacket on top of it. I brush my hair and leave it to its wavy nature before stepping inside my black converse.
Cronan is asleep on the couch when I step inside the living room. My mother is seated next to my father as they talk about something that I have no interest in knowing what it is about.
"Hi," I start. "Why are you awake?"
"We were just talking for a little, dear." My mother replies, smiling softly at me.
"Going somewhere, Tallulah?" My father questions and I nod.
"Yeah, I will just going to hang out with Wren and Esme. Maybe the rest, too." I shrug casually, stuffing my hands inside my jacket pockets.
"Alright. Well, we are going to bed," My father announces, making me sigh in relief. "Don't be late, alright?"
"Sure, father." I nod with a smile and watch as my mother carries Cronan to his bedroom and disappears after my father in their own bedroom.
Hurrying, I take my keys and leave the cottage, walking towards the Park area. The Park area is like an empty space where we have some benches there, mini wooden tables, and sometimes we have our gatherings and story nights there.
As if they had it planned, I spot Wren, Harry, Esme, Ed, Zayn, Niall and Darcy. Wren is hitting Harry on his head. Esme, Ed and Zayn are having quite an intense conversation – judging by their face expressions – while Niall and Darcy are just laughing about something.
Both of Zayn and Ed are seated on a bench, while Esme, her sister and Niall are on the opposite one, and Harry and Wren are on another one on the side.
"Ah! Lothbrok finally decided to join us." Harry starts, grinning as he squeezes me in a hug.
"Get off of me, Styles." I choke out, letting out a deep breath when he lets me go.
"I told you, your hugs suck." Wren scrunches her nose as she says to Harry, who rolls his eyes in return.
"Hi Darcy," I greet Wren's sister. I haven't seen her in quite some time.
"What's up, Tallulah?" She nods towards me with a genuine smile.
When I take a seat next to Ed, I notice the smile that Niall has on his face as he stares at Darcy's face – who is busy saying something to her sister. Ed moves his mouth next to my ear and whispers, "quite a crush he has on her."
With an amused smile, I chuckle, "Well, that's good."
"It's time for you, Zayn." Ed pats Zayn on the shoulder as he darkly chuckles.
"Fuck off, mate." Zayn grumbles, shrugging him off.
I lean into Ed – who is seated between me and Zayn – and smirk at Zayn before saying, "I'll tell her when we leave, don't worry."
"Eh, whatever." He crosses his arms and looks away. One thing about Zayn, he doesn't like it when people gather on him, despite how close they are.
"The fuck Harry, don't do that to my hair!" Wren suddenly yells, swatting Harry's arm away as he keeps laughing loudly.
We all laugh when Harry says, "I have done quite a lot more than that, baby."
"You're such a pervert asshole." She scolds him, huffing in annoyance. "And a gross one, too."
"Well, it works in bed." He shrugs and we all break into laughter again.
"Are you guys going to the city tonight?" Darcy asks, gaining everyone's attention.
"No," Esme and Wren say at the same time I say, "Yes."
I furrow my eyebrows at them as I ask, "Why won't you guys go?"
Esme sighs, "Tallulah, don't you remember what happened this morning? My father almost caught us!"
Wren nods before adding, "Plus, we go to the city every month on payment day, so it wouldn't hurt if we kept it low these few days."
It is silent as I continue staring at Esme and Wren, unable to say anything else. No more going to the city? Are they out of their minds? We have been in the city every single night for the past two years and they decide to call it off now?
I understand that seeing our chieftain was threatening, but he didn't even suspect anything! Plus, Zayn is now getting promoted which will be much easier for us to walk out of the village and back in. However, that is not what is bothering me.
What's really bothering me is that I want to see Louis so bad right now. I understand that I have been with him a few hours ago, but I am used to seeing him every single night. If I didn't see him tonight, I am sure that I will feel awful. I will feel like there is something messing and that's the worst thing.
On top of that, I feel really anxious about this note that I got. And somehow, I feel that if I saw Louis tonight, everything will go away and I won't worry about anything. Because somehow, Louis is like a comfort home to me, and that is exactly what I need right now.
Deciding that I will go to the city tonight, with or without them, I clear my throat and say, "Well, I'm going."
"Tall-" Esme starts but I quickly cut her off.
"No, Esme! I really need to go today. I have to." I say, shaking my head.
Wren eyes me suspiciously before mouthing, "What's wrong?"
I only shake my head at her before standing up and stuffing my hands inside my jacket's pocket, "See you later, guys."
"Be careful." They all wish me and I just give them a small smile.
I heavily breathe when I sit down on the ground and lean my back against Alfredo. After calming my breath down, I immediately spot Louis, sitting next the window, facing me.
And immediately everything around me stops, my gaze stops on him and only him as I stare at him. His hair is pushed back in a perfect quiff, giving me a clear vision of his face. His lips are slightly parted as his precious eyes stare down at something he draws or writes. I can see the white tee shirt he is wearing, with the two red lines on his shoulders and sides. It looks so good on him, especially since that it is showing off some of his tattoos on his arms.
A smile appears on my face as I hug my knees. A wave of love and adoration hits me when he takes a deep breath and rests his chin on his palm, a grin spreading across his own features. He looks so proud of whatever he wrote or drew on these papers.
How is it even possible? To have your heart captivated by someone so clueless about it, to have your mind and your life revolving about someone's safety, happiness and well-being. How can a person like me fall so easily in love with such a human? Such a beautiful, kind and humble human like him?
I would not want it any other way, however. I wouldn't want my heart to be owned by someone else, I wouldn't want my life to revolve around anything else. I don't care how little he knows about me, I don't care about him having some feelings for me. I would happily watch him falling in love with another human and I would be fine with it, as long as he is happy about it, and as long as he wants it.
Because I just love him. I simply love him.
That's what love is for me; love is wanting nothing but that person's happiness. Love is about giving without waiting for something in return. It's not about your souls being the same, it's about accepting those differences and it's not about loving that person more than yourself, it's about not being able to love him more.
It's about offering small gestures that mean such a great deal; it's about comforting each other's, remembering each other's. It is about wanting everything good that you want for yourself, for that person.
It is much more than what we think it is and it is much more than what we feel.
My moment of adoration is interrupted, however, by many motorcycles passing by in a quick speed. The sound of them is so disturbing and annoying. I huff in annoyance and look at the Alfredo's strong and thick branch. Then, this sick idea hits me.
I get up; place my palms on my Alfredo, feeling how strong it is. I find some places that allow me to hold into. So, I start climbing up Alfredo, placing my hands in the right places and steading my feet.
My heart beats accelerate and my skin begins to get sweaty. Even though, the distance is really short, it is frightening. The branch now is across me, and just as I remove my right hand and reach for the branch, a voice surprises me and startles me.
"What are you doing?"
A loud scream escapes my mouth as I slip and fall into a hard, solid body. The loud groan that falls out of Louis' mouth makes me groan in return because of the pain on my head.
"I got you." Louis groans, his eyes shut tightly. Only then do I realise that his left arm is wrapped protectively around my waist, while his right wide palm is on the back of my head as if he was trying to prevent anything from happening to me.
The thought warms my heart a lot but I push it back as I get myself off of his body – unfortunately – as he gets up, too. I start wiping off the dirt from my clothes before groaning again because of my head.
"I'm sorry." We both say in unison.
Louis laughs, making my heart stop beating for a second before he shakes his head, "I shouldn't have surprised you like that."
"It's fine." I laugh nervously.
"What are you doing here, at that time?" He questions.
"I'm just... waiting for my friends." I lie, hating myself for that.
"Why do you always hang out late?" He asks with a soft smiling on his face.
"I don't know," I shrug, shifting from one foot to another. "We just like it at night."
"Oh, I see," he nods, still smiling. "Well, do you want to wait for them in the parlour? So you won't be alone. It's not safe." He suggests and I can feel that he is really nervous which makes my heart flutter a little.
"Yeah," I breathe out. "That would be nice."
A wide grin spreads across his face as he runs his hand through his whole hair, backwards and forwards before he nods multiple times, "Let's go then."
I nod and follow beside him quietly, feeling the nervousness kicking in before – thankfully – he prevents it and says, "May I ask you a question?"
The seriousness in his tone makes the nervousness come back, and triple the power of it. I swallow and say, "Of course."
"What the hell were you thinking by climbing that tree?" As soon as the question rolls out of his mouth we both laugh.
"I just wanted to sit on the branch." I protest, laughing as we enter the parlour.
"Don't do that again." He laughs, shaking his head.
"Yeah, it was a stupid moment." I agree.
"Take a seat, I'll just get some water," He gestures for me to sit down and I do. "Do you need anything to drink?"
"No, thanks." I shake my head with a wide smile and he nods before disappearing inside.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I was not supposed to stay with him, and I certainly wasn't supposed to fall in front of him. How embarrassing is that? I sigh heavily and shake my head, trying to clear it from any thoughts and anything else.
My left leg is bouncing up and down, in a fast movement, and it is very clear that I'm beyond nervous by the shakiness of my hands. Pushing my hair away from my face and tugging a strand behind my ear, I take a deep breath and smile when Louis reappears with two cups of water.
"I thought you might need one." He says, handing me a cup of water.
I chuckle slightly and take it from him before quietly responding. "Thank you."
I'm sitting on a chair next to the window, and Louis is sitting across me with a table between us. He always sits here. This is the chair I always see him sitting on. I drink some water from the cup before licking my lips and sitting the cup on the table.
When I look at Louis again, I notice that there is a soft and kind smile on his face, making his eyes close a little and crinkle at the sides, the cup is on the table and both of his hands are resting on each side of it. His beautiful blue eyes stare into mine as he continues looking at me with the same soft smile.
My eyes are a bit wide and my mouth is dry – even though I just drank water. I can't seem to look away, though I'm desperate to. A heavy sigh falls out of his heavenly pink lips as he breathes out, "Tallulah..."
I barely blink as I continue staring right back at him, absolutely astonished with the beauty of his eyes and everything about him. I whisper, "Yeah?"
"You're so beautiful, Tallulah."
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