A/N: picture on the side of Paul and Tyrese's last conversation on Thanksgiving, two days before he passed. Also, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read the authors note that I am posting tomorrow!!! ITS VERY IMPORTANT and if you don't you're missing out. ;)
{unedited}
November 28th, 2013
The loud sound of the oven timer going off makes me jump out of my sleep. I can't believe I just fell asleep standing up. I rush over to the oven and take out the two desserts I made. As usual, I'm on dessert duty for the Walker family Thanksgiving.
When I set them down on the stove, I turn the fan on to cool them off. We have to leave soon if we want to be on time. I turn around and see Cody sitting at the breakfast bar. "Jesus, Cody! You scared the crap out of me!"
He looks at me in amusement. "I just watched you sleep standing up for five minutes." He opens a bag of chips and shovels some in his mouth.
"Yeah, that's totally not weird at all," I mumble, moving towards the fridge.
Cody ignores my comment, electing to change the subject instead. "So did my brother keep you up all night and that is why you're tired?" The smirk on his face irritates me.
I snatch the bag of chips away and put them back in the cabinet. "One, that's none of your business. Two, no he didn't. And three, where is Felicia?"
"She's in the playroom with Aubree and Elizabeth." Cody gets up and gets the bag of chips again. "These are mine, by the way. I paid for them."
Paul walks in and takes a deep breath. "It smells amazing in here!" He walks over to me and hugs me tightly. "Happy thanksgiving, baby. I'll show you how thankful I am for you tonight."
I'm still pissed off at him because of the movie scripts. He doesn't know that I know about them. I thought I would wait until he told me but it's almost been a week. However, it is Thanksgiving. I can stop being mad at him for today. "Honey, Cody is right there."
Cody eats another handful of chips and smiles at us.
My husband shrugs and lets me go. "It's just Cody." He opens the fridge up, grabs a Corona and hands it to Cody before getting himself one. "We need to be heading to Mom and Dad's soon. Meadow can ride with you and Felicia, that way we can put a couple of the dishes in your car."
"I'll go get Felicia and the kids," I note, walking around the kitchen island toward the hallway.
Things haven't exactly been all normal since Meadow's homecoming dance. Well, at least from my perspective. Paul might think everything is okay, but I don't see how it can be. He got the movie scripts two days ago and he tried to hide them from me by saying it was information about Fast & Furious 8. Obviously, I know better than to think that.
Instead of going to the playroom, I walk past it toward our bedroom. I want to know what these movies are. Paul's probably not going to tell me so I'll just have to find out myself. I glance around the room. Where would he have put them? I check the drawers on his side of the dresser, but no luck. The next place I check is the closet. Again, no luck.
I walk back into the bedroom and look around the room again. That's when his nightstand catches my eye. When I open it, I find a bunch of random stuff. There's a small box that has a tag on it, but there's no way that scripts could be in them. I dismiss it easily. There's also a unopened box of condoms. We don't need these now.
After I shift some random papers around, I find the scripts. There are three of them. Geez, how long is he planning on leaving? If each of these movies took at least three months, that's a total of nine months that he would be gone. That's a little longer than how long he will have been gone this year, but not by much.
The sound of footsteps coming down the hallway makes me go into panic mode. I quickly shove everything back into the nightstand, just in time to turn to face Paul coming into the room. "Hey love, are you ready to go?" His bright smile and blue eyes are hard to stay mad at, but I can still feel the anger simmering in my stomach as I walk toward him.
--
The Walker family Thanksgiving is in full swing. As usual, the women are in the kitchen while the men are in the living room watching football. It would be nice every once in a while if the men would help, but the meal wouldn't turn out as good as it does. Maybe for the Christmas dinner we can recruit some of the guys. Paul isn't too bad of a cook now so I'm sure he can make something.
This year is not as hectic as last year, mainly because we made our dishes ahead of time. It's the smartest thing to do; I don't know why we haven't done it before.
Today is the first time that we have gathered as a family since Caleb's wedding, so us women have a lot of things to catch up on. They ask me how I'm doing and if I hurt anymore. I tell them no, and that's mostly the truth. Sometimes if I move a certain way or twist, I can feel a sharp pain. It's manageable, though.
When Felicia steps out of the kitchen to go to the bathroom, us Walker women go into full gossip mode. "So, when do you think Cody will propose to Felicia?" Ashlie asks.
"He will be my last child to get married. I'm excited for that!" Cheryl notes, clapping her hands together.
Stephanie laughs. "I think we all know if it wasn't for a certain person, Caleb and I would've been the last ones to get married."
The elephant in the room right now is massive. It's obvious as to who that certain person is. I don't like to think about her and the betrayal she done to me. She's the reason I was shot. She helped Jake come back into our lives. Even now as she's laying six feet in the ground, I'll never be able to forgive her.
I stir my glass of water with my straw, trying to think of what to say. They aren't saying her name because of me, and I can bet Stephanie is regretting bringing her up. I give them all a warm smile and mean it. "Don't worry, you can say her name. I'm not going to crumble like a cookie."
Amie walks over to stand beside me and puts her arm around me. "I think I speak for everyone when I say that we're so glad you're okay. We would all be missing a gossip partner if it played out differently."
Felicia walks back in and sighs. "So what are we talking about, girls?"
Everyone looks at each other, not sure of what to say. Instead of telling her, Ashlie changes the subject. "We were just asking Sierra if Callie is going to come over. She's at most of our family gatherings so she might as well be family too."
Felicia nods and looks at me for an answer.
All of their eyes are on me now. "Um, I'm not sure." I pull my phone out, intending to text her and ask her where she is, but there is already a text message on my screen from Andrew.
We are on our way! Callie says not to start without her, she's starving.
I smile at the text and quickly type my reply.
Wouldn't dream about starting without you two.
"They'll be here soon," I say, answering all of their question.
The guys cheer loudly from in the living room, and I can hear one or two of them booing. We all turn toward the noise, and Paul emerges from the room. His smile is almost enough to make me forget about why I am mad at him. I should just let this go but I can't. If he wants to leave me to raise our kids while he goes and plays pretend, he can be my guest.
"The game is almost over," he says, stepping around Felicia to get to the fridge. He grabs a couple of Coronas out and starting walking back to the living room.
"Son, don't you think it's a little early to be drinking?" Cheryl asks, stopping him.
He shrugs and chuckles softly. "Mom, it's just a beer. These aren't all for me." He continues on without saying anything else.
"Felicia, how are things going with Elizabeth? Does she like you?" Amie asks, removing her arm from me.
Felicia sighs, and I can't tell if it's a good or a bad sigh. "It's complicated. She's always asking when she will see her mom again, and I don't always know what to say. Cody has been great with explaining things but I never know what to say to her. It's like I go blank every time she says something to me. I just know that I'll never be able to replace her mom in her eyes."
I nod, totally understanding her point of view. "That's how things were with Meadow and I at first. I accepted that I could never replace her mother, and I just tried to be there for her whenever she needed me. Now look at us. We're closer than we've ever been that I consider her my own. It doesn't mean she loves her mother any less, but she loves me in her own way."
"Wow, this conversation just got really deep," Stephanie mumbles.
All of us girls laugh, and we go back to gossiping while setting the tables up to eat. Family time like this is the best time, and I'm already looking forward to Christmas time. We have all mutually agreed to including Callie in our game of Dirty Santa this year so that should bring tons of entertainment. She will be the one to get the embarrassing gift just like I got it three years ago.
As soon as we get the table set, we call the men and the kids in to eat. Everyone sits down at the table. Paul's dad says grace, and my thoughts drift to Tyrese's prayer at the end of Fast & Furious 6. I keep trying to get Paul to tell me what's going to happen in Fast & Furious 7, but he always gives me a smart comment and refuses, saying I'll have to wait until it comes out.
We pass the plates of food around, putting whatever we want on our plate. It's clear to see that everyone is having a good time. Stephanie and Felicia come around with alcohol, put I politely decline. It wouldn't be a good idea. Of course, Paul takes a Corona. What is up with him and Corona's today?
During the meal, everybody is joking and laughing with each other. I can't help but zone out of the conversation, choosing to focus instead on feeding Luke. He looks a whole lot like Paul when he was a baby. If our child gets his looks, he's going to be a ladies man. Paul will probably be too busy filming a movie to see it, my subconscious snaps. I can't help but think that it's true.
Every time he looks at me, his eyes are full of love and warmth. I can't imagine what mine must be giving away to him, although I try to reflect it back to him.
For a moment, the thought of brings up the scripts tonight comes across my mind, but it's probably better that I don't. It's a holiday weekend, plus Paul has his charity event Saturday. I don't want to ruin that for him. It will need to be discussed though, and soon, because of what else I have to tell him.
The dinner goes by quickly, and now everyone is wanting a dessert. I give Paul to Luke and volunteer to bring everyone something. Callie stands up as well to help, and she follows me into the kitchen.
"Is something wrong?" She asks, apprehensively.
I turn my back to her, wanting to focus on getting the desserts. "No, why do you ask?"
Callie gets a couple of pies out of the fridge, and puts them on the counter. "No reason, you just seem a little off."
Glancing at her quickly, I try to judge her mood. She probably doesn't believe me, but that's the least of my worries right now. "It just a stressful time right now."
She nods, but I know it probably won't be the last time she presses me on the subject. "I have to tell you something, but I don't want to upset you."
My hands stop moving, and my thoughts go wild. What could she possibly say that would make me upset? I nod slowly, signaling her to continue.
"Well, I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm pregnant," she whispers, biting my lip.
Why in the world would that upset me? "Really? That's great news!" I pull her into a hug to which she accepts with a sigh.
"I didn't know if it would upset you because of what happened," she trails off, the reference to the shooting obvious.
"Callie, of course I am not upset. I'm so happy for you and Andrew! Hopefully it's a little boy so Luke can have someone to play with." I smile at her before grabbing some desserts and walking back to the table.
When I sit down next to Paul, he's looking at his phone and chuckling.
"What are you laughing at?" I ask, sitting down next to him.
He shows me text messages between him and Tyrese. Tyrese had sent him a funny picture along with a message saying how thankful he is for Paul. Their friendship is so admirable. Actually, it's more of a brotherhood than a friendship. They act just how brothers do. There is so much love there that it's hard not to smile when you see them together. They have each other for life.
--
Paul and I are just now getting to relax after all of the festivities today. Meadow wanted to go Black Friday shopping with her friends, but we weren't too comfortable letting her go without us. Black Friday shoppers have a mind of their own, and they do not care to hurt people. That's why we don't want Meadow around that. Instead, we convinced her to stay home and we had a family night. I'm going to miss those when Paul leaves to go back to set on Monday. The house isn't the same if Paul isn't around.
I lay down on the bed, sighing heavily. Paul lays down next to me, a look of amusement on his face. "What?" I ask him, not being able to keep from smiling. No matter what mood I'm in, that smile of his brightens my day.
"I'm just admiring how beautiful you are," he mumbles, pulling me against him.
The laughter comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. "Boy, you are definitely trying to get laid aren't you?"
Paul chuckles and kisses my cheek. "Can you really blame me for trying? I mean look at you. You look like you were sent from Heaven. You're my angel."
I turn towards him, enjoying his embrace. "If anyone was sent from above, it's you. Paul, you have such a heart of gold from wanting to help people. You've got the event Saturday to give kids toys for Christmas when their parents can't afford any. Plus you're raising money for the typhoon that happened...I'm so lucky that your my husband." His face turns red and he looks down, trying to avoid my eyes. "Aww how cute, you're blushing!"
"No I'm not," he defends, his face getting redder by the second.
These are the moments I live for. Laying here with him is right where I want to be, and I never want to lose that. These new movies shouldn't matter for our relationship, but they do. We will be apart and with our kids growing up, I don't want to raise them by myself. "I've got some news. Callie's pregnant."
Paul looks back up at me. "Really? That's awesome!" His smile fades after a few seconds. "I know that must've been tough for you to hear. Even if you were to get pregnant, we'd have to let it go."
"What? Why?" I ask in disbelief.
"The doctor said you would more than likely have a miscarriage, remember? If you carried the baby to term, you'd bleed out. Regardless of that baby being a miracle, I'm not going to lose you." His voice is strong and firm, and I know that there is no way that his mind could be changed.
"I'm already losing you. You're going to be gone a lot." I cross my arms, putting some distance between us literally and figuratively.
"Sierra, this is serious. You could die. I'm not going to let that happen if that situation were to occur. End of discussion."
Why is he being so hostile? He's saying all of these things now, but hopefully his opinion will change once I tell him everything.