Three weeks went by in a rush and sooner than I could say 'Risky burger', I had wrapped up the practical aspect of my project. Nothing could surpass the feeling of elation that I felt at the thought of having one less deadweight to tow about.
I beat the deadline for completion by a couple of days which meant that I had ample time, numbering up to four days, to prepare for the project defense which was scheduled to hold the following week.
The day was Thursday and my defense was slated for the following Monday.
I was looking forward to the defense but on the other hand, the thought of having to make a presentation in front of well-learned professors while they fired a barrage of questions at me wasn't the most enticing of ideas. I didn't exactly suffer from stage-fright but the professors in my department just weren't popular for being friendly or nice; and that is beside the fact that they had a penchant for showing off their knowledge. In my opinion, the whole lot of them had a superior complex though I wouldn't say that I blame them. I'd be proud too, had I the ability to dictate ten-paged notes off-hand, formulae included.
Ugh!
Soon as I was done with my project defense, I intended to hightail it off to Lagos, suitcases and all. I was so done with this school. At the moment, the campus was almost empty of students as the holidays had commenced. The bulk of students that were left in school were the final year students who still had to wrap up their projects.
I was cooking noodles on my camp gas in our little kitchenette whilst chipping in my bit into the conversation that was going on in the room. The kitchenette was like a tiny balcony, an attachment to the room and every other room in the hall. It was accessed using a small door. There, we washed dirty plates and cooked our food using stove/ camp gas.
Chichi and her epic scandal was the conversation topic. Tima and Layo were in my room, together with Missy who, besides me, was the only other occupant who had yet to go home for the school break. She'd told me that she had no intention of going home until about two days until the end of the break. She explained that it was because she had some necessary 'runs' to make that might not be so easy for her if she was at home, under the not-so-watchful eyes of her folks.
"But the girl try o*. I really don't want to imagine that it was me in Vicky's shoes. I would tear her apart."
Missy chuckled. "What are you saying? Oh, you didn't see Chichi when she came back from SUB that day that's why. That Vicky girl did a lot of damage. Forget that side."
"Ehen?" Tima's voice was full of wonder.
"Yes o. One eye was swollen shut and her cloth was torn in many places. You know how we chics fight na."
Layo laughed "Ha true o. If dem never tear clothe, fight never complete*." I laughed loudly as I stirred the noodles in the little pot.
"Choi, girls ehn. But I don't blame Vicky. She'll never take another girlfriend home again, lailai*!" Tima said.
Missy snorted. "And you think that'll actually stop Vicky's father from carrying babes? Let's face facts here. Chichi was just a scapegoat. You think he wouldn't have been having affairs since? The reason Vicky is reacting like that is just because Chichi was her best friend. Trust me, I know these things very well," I straightened up to look through the glass panes of the door so I could see Missy's facial expression. She slapped her chest twice with her palm for emphasis. "I know these men very well. Especially the older ones like Vicky's dad. The moment their wives start pulling detective stunt on them ehn, they rebel. Shebi we are the ones they end up coming to na. It's just paining me that Chichi did not come to meet me for advice. I would have advised her that the rule of the game is that you don't look at your best friend's dad."
While she talked, Layo and Tima gaped at her in open-mouthed disbelief. I chuckled to myself. They obviously couldn't fathom how someone could boldly say such things aloud. It was downright absurd to them but I had gotten used to it. I'd had a whole school session to adapt to Missy's unbridled tongue.
"But let's even now say that she actually couldn't help herself, like, let's assume that she started falling for the man, she could have played her cards right. Her first mistake was letting Vicky bully her. If it had been me, I wouldn't have allowed it; the beating and bullying. Please, a girl has got to earn her respect by force jare. And wasn't Vicky helping her play the man before she discovered that it was her own dad that they were both playing? She now started forming anger because it was her father abi. Please let's face the raw facts here. They are both not smart. Even the mother, Vicky's mom, she better not assume that because she caught her husband now, he will become an obedient puppy. Taahh!"
My friends seemed to have gotten their voices back because Tima spoke next. "Well, you have a point there but Chichi went overboard. Your best friend's dad?! Assuming Vicky's parents were divorced, or if he had been a widower, it would still have been as terrible, but at least, there wouldn't have been a marriage at stake. But as it is now, I'm sure she has destroyed that home."
Missy snorted. "Destroy my a**. See, shine your eye. The home don destroy tey tey*. I doubt that Chichi is the first mistress that Vicky's dad has had. Let Vicky's mom do some more investigation, she will find more evidence." Then she cackled loudly. "Women go just dey give demsef headache. Man wey go cheat, go cheat. If you like, put tracking device for him body, if he go carry babe, he go carry am. Me like dis, as I dey, I don ready for when I marry*. If my husband likes, let him go out and carry all the babes. In fact, he can turn our house into a hotel if he wants. I can't complain because I know that I am not innocent myself. All I will concern myself about when I marry is that he feeds me and my kids, and he must not even think of marrying a second wife. Ever!"
Tima shrugged but said nothing. I could see her thinking deeply.
"Deedee! Your food is burning! Chai! You got carried away because of gist. Your own wife material ehn, two yards of tie and dye*!" Layo jested loudly, jerking me out of my thoughts.
"Oh" using a napkin, I removed the pot from the cylinder top and served the food into three plates.
"Burnt offering. You're my friends so you will manage it like that. That's what friends are for; we eat each other's burnt food" I deadpanned, balancing Layo's and Tima's foods before them while they made grumpy faces at their plates.
"No be for dis kain tin. But I'm hungry so I can't form butty*." Layo said, picking up her fork.
"Missy, come and join me." I invited but Missy shook her head with a smile.
"Thanks Demi. I'm alright."
"So nobody has heard anything about the whole issue of late?" Layo said, stuffing her mouth with a forkful of noodles.
"Besides the fact that Vicky's mother blames the situation on her daughter for bringing a slut into their house? Nothing else o" Missy said.
"Hmm... nawa o. This don pass gobe*"
I chuckled to myself and scraped my plate clean of food. Immediately I finished eating, Asa's 'Dead Again' intro filled the air, breaking the silence as all of us brooded over the scandal.
I picked up my phone and got up from the bed, hurrying outside to pick the phone call.
"Hello ma. Good evening."
"Oluwademilade, how are you?"
"Fine."
"'Demola told me that you have just finished your project. Is that true?" of course. My little brother just couldn't keep any info to himself; tattletale that he was.
"Yes it's true ma."
"That's very good. So when should we expect you back home?"
"I can't say which day exactly. But I'll be back home next week though."
We discussed some more on how I would be conveyed along with all my belongings; those I planned to take along with me anyway, and we concluded that Dad's official driver would come with the roomy family car.
"Are you hearing from Inioluwa?" Mom didn't waste time with preambles.
"Yes, I am. I told you he came to see me about four weeks ago?" In the couple of minutes that would follow, I would regret telling my mom that Inioluwa came by.
"Ehen?! That's very good. That means he's still very serious about you, right? We should expect an engagement soon?"
My jaw dropped. "Mommy! Ha! I don't know o"
"What is 'ha!'? Shouldn't I be concerned that the young man that has been dating my first daughter for so many years-"
"Ahan. It's only four years now-"
"Shut up. I didn't date your dad for so long. In fact, in my days, dating was something that didn't exceed a couple of months and then, the introduction would follow. You children of these days, you just do things anyhow. Are you trying to tell me that he is still not sure about marrying you, even after four years?!"
I sighed. My mother was caring but she was no saint and she had a really loud voice, especially when she believed she had a point to pass across. "Mommy, when we are both ready-"
"Demilade, what are you trying to tell me? Has he proposed marriage to you already? You this girl, don't tell me he proposed and you turned him down o, because I will disown you!"
I gasped. "Ahnahn! Disown ke? I'm just twenty three years old! Mom please tell me you're joking."
She paused. "OK, I can't disown my own daughter, but I can make the house very hot for you, you know me well. If that man proposes to you and you say no, it means you already have another house to pack to. I'm almost fifty years old and I'm yet to carry my grandchildren. Time waits for no man, or woman!"
"So you don't mind me marrying someone that may not even be right for me, just so long as you have grandchildren?"
And of course, as my Ma was wont to do, she replied my question with a question. "Is there another man in your life now? Is it not Inioluwa that you're courting? What is wrong with him?"
"Mom, he may be cheating on me for all I know!" I yelled into the phone, indignant.
"But is he cheating? Have you caught him with another lady in bed?"
I shook my head, then remembering that this was a phone conversation and she couldn't see me, I said 'No'. What generation did my mother belong in for goodness' sake? "No I haven't but it doesn't-"
"Then case closed. I've had cause to doubt your father so many times but I'm still married to him and as you can see, we're happy. You have to learn to trust him. That young man is a good and responsible person and you may not find another one like him if you let him slip through your hands. Demilade, be wise. Abo oro ni a'n so fun omoluabi*."
I sighed loudly and I was almost ruing the day that I introduced Inioluwa to my parents. I had been reluctant then, knowing how forceful my mother could get but Inioluwa had been adamant, saying that he was sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and except I was ashamed of him or had somebody else in my life, there was no reason why I shouldn't introduce him to my folks.
So he had met them...and they had been impressed by him. Even my dad who always wore a frown on his face like a second skin and always acted like a military man had taken to Inioluwa immediately. Dad had always been a sucker for intelligent conversations and Ini's intelligence had blown dad away and before my amazed eyes, I'd watched the two men start some male bonding as they discussed politics and the foreign exchange; and even sports! As luck - if it could be called luck - would have it, dad and Inioluwa were both team 'Red Devils'.
Mom on the other hand had babied Inioluwa and to my utter shock, had started referring to him as 'Omo mi'*. Like, what the heck?!
Soon, the telephone conversation with my mom ended and I sighed heavily and leaned against the wall, feeling drained.
"Grandchildren?" I huffed loudly. It was probably time for me to start applying as an intern at hiring companies because it was highly likely that mom would be packing my belongings out of her house when all was said and done. That is how ready I was to give her grandkids.
I intended to start a career first before settling down to get myself bloated by some man's mature sperm while said man gave me an occasional pat on the head for bearing him children; all in a bid to show off his masculinity. Foolish ego trip nonsense.
My thoughts hardly made sense but I was so frustrated at the moment that I didn't care.
And that was why when my phone pinged loudly, alerting me of a new message, I opened it, glanced through it unseeingly and hissed in annoyance, before pressing the delete icon.
And that careless little act would prove, in some days time, to be a mistake.
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GLOSSARY
* But the girl try o - Pidgin/ Broken English; But the girl has got some guts.
* Ha true o. If dem never tear clothe, fight never complete - Pidgin/ Broken English; Girls haven't finished their fights until they've torn each other's clothes to shreds.
* lailai - Yoruba language for Never.
* The home don destroy tey tey - Pidgin/ Broken English for; The home has been destroyed long ago.
* Women go just dey give demsef headache. Man wey go cheat, go cheat. If you like, put tracking device for him body, if he go carry omoge, he go carry am. Me like dis, as I dey, I don ready for when I marry - Women just give themselves headaches. If a man will cheat, he will cheat. Whether or not you put a tracking device on him, if he'll go whoring, he will. As for me, I'm ready for when I get married.
* Your own wife material ehn, two yards of tie and dye - Spoken in other words; You're not ready to get married.
* No be for dis kain tin. But I'm hungry so I can't form butty - Pidgin/ Broken English for; Not in this instance. However, I'm to hungry to care.
* This one don pass gobe - Pidgin/ Broken English for; This issue is beyond scandalous.
* Abo oro ni a'n so fun omoluabi - Yoruba Language for; A word is enough for the wise.
* Omo mi - Yoruba language for; My child.