Hey sweet things! I am so sore right now, like it hurts so much to walk. My family and I went hiking a few hours from where we live, there were so many steep hills!
Dean
Cas was flipping through the channels on the tv as I was looking through a newspaper for any cases. Sam was doing the same, but on his laptop. This was just a normal no crisis day for us. We didn't have them very often, but when we did this is how we spent them.
I set down the newspaper and leaned back into the sofa sighing. "Well, there's nothing in the newspaper." Sam nodded his head, but didn't look up from the screen. I looked over at the tv and saw Cas had stopped at some weird show. "Cas, what're you watching?" He shrugged and tilted his head while squinting at the tv.
"Why is there scars on that person's wrist?" Sam turned to Cas with a cocked eyebrow and I rubbed the back of my neck as he looked over to me questionably. I licked my lips and looked at Cas.
"They cut themselves Cas. Sometimes when people are feeling really low, they do that because sometimes the physical pain is better than what they're feeling on the inside." Cas nodded his head and turned the tv off.
"I hope he gets better." I nodded my head and looked away, feeling an awkward tension rise in the room. Cas stood up and looked at me, then Sam. "I'm feeling tired so I'm going lay down, I'll see you when it's lunch time." Cas walked off and went down the hall and I looked over to Sam confused.
"Don't look at me." He said while shrugging. I shook my head and leaned back, putting my hands behind my head and relaxing. I should make burgers for lunch, they're Cas' favorite.
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I took the last burger off the little electric grill and turned it off, pushing it to the side and out of the way. I got out things that would go on a burger, like lettuce, tomatoes, ketchup, things like that. After making and putting together three individual burgers, I grabbed the three plates and walked out of the kitchen with them.
"Sam! Cas! Lunch is ready!" I said yelling throughout the bunker. Sam looked up at me as I set his plate down in front of him on the library table. I set mine down in front of him and set Cas' next to mine. Looking around, I noticed that Cas hasn't come out of his room yet. "I'll go get Cas." Sam told me something, but it was muffled from the food in his mouth so I didn't hear him.
I put my ear up against Cas' door and didn't hear anything. "Cas, I made lunch. It's your favorite." When I didn't get a response and opened the door quietly and peered in. Cas wasn't in his bed, or his room for that matter. I closed the door and rubbed my chin while thinking of where he could be. Maybe he just went to the bathroom.
I started walking down to the bathroom. If he isn't in there, then I have no clue of where else he would be. I made it to the bathroom and knocked on the door softly. "Cas? You in there buddy?" Once again I didn't get a response. I went to open the door, but it was locked.
"G-Go away Dean." I heard Cas say faintly. Why did Cas sound so drained? I tried the door knob again, but I still couldn't get it opened. I knocked on the door, this time harder than before.
"Cas let me in." Cas simply grunted in response and I started to shove my shoulder into the door. When that didn't work, I took a step back and kicked at the door. No luck. I tried again and this time the door swung open. I rushed in and froze at the door, not able to move. "Cas..."
Once I came to my senses and quickly bent down next to him and held him. There was blood pools on each side of him, all coming from his wrist where there was cuts up and down his forearms. I looked at Cas distraught as he looked back at me with tears in his eyes and tears running down his face.
"I..I didn't want to f-feel the pain anymore Dean." Cas told me weakly as more tears started to fall. I looked around the bathroom and grabbed the nearest towels, wrapping them around his arms where blood was coming out. Cas leaned against my chest as I secured the last towel.
"You're-You're gonna be okay Cas. I got you." I told him as I moved his hair out of his face. Cas nodded slightly as I moved him to where his back was leaning against my chest so I can hold the towels in place better. "Sam!" I screamed for him. These towels won't last forever, they're only makeshift. I need bandage wraps to put around his arms.
I heard Sam has he ran down the halls and headed in our direction. "Dean what is-" Sam stopped mid-sentence as his eyes widened at the scene in front of him. I looked up at him while trying to keep it together.
"Bandages...he need bandages Sammy." Sam nodded his head to me and ran back out, hoepfully going get the first aid kit. I sighed shakily and looked down at Cas as he was leant up against me. "I'll help you Cas, I'll take care of you." A tear ran down my face when he didn't respond. I'm losing him. I can't lose Cas.
Sam ran back in and dropped down in front of us. He opened the first aid kit and looked at me with a pained expression. "I'll clean him up, you just continue to be there for him." I nodded my head at Sammy and took my hands off of the towels so Sam could get to the cuts. He took the towels off gently and sucked in a breath at the scene. I wrapped an arm around Cas' torso and had my other hand running through his hair softly.
I watched as Sam took a wipe and cleaned up the cuts on both arms, then as he gently started wrapping the bandage around his arms. Sam looked at me after he had closed the first aid box and set it up on the counter. "Cas will be alright, he just needs some medicine and rest." I nodded at him again and stood up whilst picking up Cas in my arms. You could hear his shallow breaths. "I'll take care of the bathroom too, you go set him down." I went to protest, but Sam gave me a 'shut up, nothing you say will change my mind' look and I sighed, walking out of the bathroom and towards my own room.
I won't leave Cas's side until he wakes up, I promised to myself. When I made it to my room I set Cas down in my bed, then pulled the covers over him. He looked like he had fallen asleep and not fallen unconscious. I pulled my chair that I had in my room to the side of my bed and sat in it, looking over Cas. I chuckled to myself. Now I see why Cas used to watch over me as I slept, he just wanted to make sure I was alright. I'm doing exactly what he had done multiple times.
After what seemed like forever, though was only a half an hour or so, Sam came in with a bottle of pills, a water bottle, and what seemed to be my burger. He looked at me with the stuff still in his hands. "These pills can be crushed up, so you can put them in the water and help him drink it, and I brought your burger so eat it, then take a shower, you have blood splotches on you and your clothing." I nodded my head, not saying anything, as he set the stuff down on the bed right in front of me and left, glancing at me sadly as he did so. I sighed and put my head in my hands. How could I have let this happen?
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Two days. It's been two damn days and nothing. Cas is still resting and hasn't even moved at all. It's been absolute torture. The only times I left Cas' side, unwillingly, was because Sam forced me to take shower or my bladder wasn't going to hold up any longer. I haven't slept since the night before this happened. I can't seem too. My mind always gives me dreams of Cas already being dead in my bed. I always jump awake and immediately check Cas' pulse.
He's always still alive, but the dreams seem too real to be made up by my mind. I have been eating though so that's something good. Sam always brings me food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Every time he comes in, I can see the hurt look on his face. Cas was like another brother to Sam and helped him a lot. God, Cas has helped both of us through so much.
Shaking my head, I stood up and stretched out my my back then rolled my shoulders and neck. Sitting in that chair for hours straight can make your body feel stiff. I was just getting done with stretching out my legs when I heard a small groan. Stopping what I was going, I slowly stood up straight and looked down at my bed where Cas lays.
His head was moved to the side and his eyes squeezed tight. I moved the chair out of the way and kneeled down on the ground where the chair was. I moved Cas' hair out of his face as he opened his bright blue eyes and looked at me groggily. "Dean?" He questioned lowly. I nodded head and let out a deep breath.
"I'm right here Cas." I said to him as I stared back at him. Cas smiled sadly and stuck a hand out so he could run his fingers through my hair.
"I'm so sorry Dean..." Cas told me, leaving his hand in my hair. I grabbed his hand and took it out of my hair only to intertwine our hands together, giving it a comforting squeeze.
"Lets not talk about it right now, okay? Wait until you get your strength back." Cas nodded his head at me and let go of my hand. I frowned slightly, but Cas pulled the covers back some and looked over to me. He was silently asking me to lay with him. I smiled softly at him and took off my shirt, leaving me in sweatpants, then slowly lowered myself into my bed next to Cas.
Once I pulled the covers over us, I slung a arm over Cas' side. He gave me a small smile and scooted closer to me, putting his head in the crook of my neck and sighing tiredly. I hesitantly kissed the top of his head, then rested my head on top of his, closing my eyes and falling asleep quickly in hopes of no bad dreams disturbing this moment.