chapter twenty seven
ʚ ✮ ɞ
yunjin carefully walked back into chaewon's apartment, eyes fixed on the floor beneath her feet. the silence felt heavier now, thicker, like the walls themselves knew something had shifted. each step echoed softly, and she didn't dare look up, afraid that if she did, the dam inside her would finally break.
she still clutched the envelope in her hands, fingers trembling around the edges. it felt like it didn't belong to her—like it was something out of a life she hadn't asked for.
the atmosphere was tense—thick with everything left unsaid, the kind of silence that curled around the room and made it hard to breathe. it was familiar by now, this quiet unease that always seemed to follow after her mother came around.
chaewon sat on the couch, shoulders tense, her eyes slightly damp as they stared out the open window. the wind moved gently through the curtains, but it couldn't ease the tightness in the room.
"are you going?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, yet it cut through the silence like glass.
yunjin froze mid-step, her fingers tightening around the envelope. "you heard?"
chaewon didn't look at her, just blinked slowly, still watching the world outside. "walls are thin."
and that was all it took to make yunjin's heart feel like it might collapse in on itself.
"i—" yunjin mumbled, her voice trembling as she stared at the envelope in her hands. "i don't know. after everything that's happened... with yeonjun lying, your father doing this to you—" her voice cracked as her eyes flicked briefly to the stitches on chaewon's side. "it won't stop until i leave. i know that now."
chaewon's jaw tightened. she bit down hard on her lower lip, so hard it split beneath her teeth, the sharp sting of blood rushing to her tongue. but it was easier to focus on that pain than the one swelling in her chest. she didn't say anything—just kept her gaze on the window, on the world that kept spinning no matter how much theirs had come undone.
and in that silence, yunjin felt like she was already halfway gone.
"i stayed for you," chaewon whispered, the words barely audible over the breeze slipping through the open window.
yunjin's breath caught in her throat.
chaewon finally turned her head, eyes glassy but steady as they met yunjin's. "i could've run. i could've disappeared the night he first hit you and you told me. but i didn't. because you were still here. because i thought... maybe if we stayed, we could fix it. maybe whatever this is we have would have been enough."
yunjin felt her knees weaken, a sharp ache blooming in her chest as the truth settled between them like ash.
"and now you're leaving," chaewon said, not accusing—just stating, like she had already made peace with the idea, even if it shattered her inside.
and yunjin... she had no words. just the envelope clutched tightly in her hand and the unbearable weight of what it meant.
"i never said i was going to go," yunjin said softly, her voice barely steady. "i just stated that... it could be better for me to go."
chaewon let out a bitter, shaky laugh, one that didn't reach her eyes. "but that's the thing, yunjin. you're thinking about it."
she stood up then, slowly, carefully, a hand pressing against the edge of the couch to steady herself. "you didn't even give us a chance. not really. not after everything. not after i finally came to the realization..." her voice faltered, like it physically hurt to say it out loud. "it's like i finally came to terms with having these feelings for you—and for what? for nothing to bloom? for nothing to happen?"
yunjin opened her mouth, but no words came. because chaewon was right. she hadn't said yes to leaving, but she hadn't said no either. and maybe that silence had already spoken louder than anything else ever could.
"i spent countless nights scrubbing my skin just to get these feelings off me," chaewon said, her voice cracking, rising with every word. "countless nights sobbing into my pillow because—because how could the daughter of a preacher be gay?"
her fists trembled at her sides, nails digging into her palms. "and just when—just when everything started to feel right, when i thought maybe i could breathe again, maybe i could finally love someone the way i wanted to..." she trailed off for a second, her breath catching.
"it's crumbling," she whispered, voice raw, eyes burning. "it's crumbling at the tip of my fucking fingers, yunjin. and i can't—i can't hold onto it if you're already letting go."
yunjin let the tears fall freely now, no longer bothering to hide them. "i'm sorry," was all she could manage, her voice barely above a whisper, cracking under the weight of it all. she didn't even know what she was apologizing for—she hadn't made a choice yet—but she could see it in chaewon's eyes. her indecision alone was enough to hurt her.
"i don't want to hurt you, chae," she croaked, voice trembling. "i don't want to be the reason he comes after you. and i'm never getting out of this cycle with my own father! i try and try and it just—" her breath hitched, and she clutched the envelope tighter. "he's going to keep coming. he's going to keep finding ways to break me. and what if one day—what if he kills you?! he can't get through to me because all i do is let the son of a bitch hit me!? he knows he can't get through to me by beating me so he's going to get through me by you."
the words felt like glass in her throat, sharp and final. they hung in the air, heavy, terrifying, real. and for the first time, yunjin realized just how much fear had been stitched into every corner of her love.
chaewon looked broken—shoulders slumped, lips parted like she wanted to speak but couldn't find the words, eyes glassy and distant like she wasn't even really there anymore. and yunjin had done that.
she had done that to her. after she said she'd never hurt her.
the realization hit like a wave, crashing over her and pulling her under. she had tried so hard to protect chaewon from everything else—her father, the world, the pain—but in the end, she had become just another person who hurt her.
she was her fathers child. all she could think of.
"chae..." she whispered, her voice trembling, but chaewon didn't move. didn't flinch. didn't even blink.
she just stood there, in the wreckage of everything they'd tried to build, while yunjin stood there holding the match.
"what happened to you're not alone in this?" chaewon mumbled, her voice shaking but laced with something sharp underneath—hurt, betrayal, desperation. "the moment on the beach? the kiss we shared before all of this?"
yunjin flinched like the words themselves had struck her, because they had. they were everything she'd held close, everything she'd promised.
"can you really throw it all away for the expense of my safety?" chaewon asked, quieter this time, almost like she didn't want to hear the answer.
but the silence that followed was an answer in itself—heavy, suffocating, and so unbearably loud.
yunjin opened her mouth, but no words came out. just a quiet gasp, like all the air had been sucked from her lungs. her grip on the envelope loosened slightly, fingers trembling.
"i thought we were building something," chaewon continued, voice barely holding together. "something real. something worth fighting for. and now you're standing there, deciding whether or not i'm worth the risk."
"that's not—" yunjin finally choked out, but chaewon shook her head.
"it is, yunjin. it is."
chaewon took a shaky breath and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand, smearing away tears that refused to stop falling. "i know you're scared. i am too. but if you're going to leave... at least don't pretend like it's not a choice. don't pretend it's for me when it's really for you."
yunjin's legs gave out, and she sank slowly to the floor, pressing the envelope flat against her chest like it might keep her heart from falling apart. she looked up at chaewon through watery eyes, voice breaking.
"how do i choose between saving you... and loving you?"
chaewon stood still for a moment, like she might fall apart too. and then, so softly it hurt, she whispered, "you don't. you love me by staying."
and with that, she turned away, walking toward the bedroom, leaving yunjin alone on the floor—broken, shaking, and still holding the choice in her hands.
authors note: it amazes me that so many of you stuck with me for this long :( i feel incredibly sorry for the lack of updates and how long it's taken me to get to finishing it. i've dealt with a lot this year and i just want to thank you guys.
(i'm sad the story is almost done though ☹️)