A/N- Wow! I'm so shocked that I am getting so many new readers every day! I hope that you all enjoyed the last chapter because this one is going to be cuteness overload! I have had this chapter planned from the very beginning, so I'm sorry if it gets kinda long ;) so without further ado, Chapter 15! Happy Reading!-Zenovia
Armin's POV
Chapter 15
As the rest of the week passed by, all I could worry about was Eren and Mikasa. I couldn't stand knowing that they were in house of abuse and I couldn't do anything to protect them. Mikasa had texted me the day after Eren and I Skyped, and she tried to assure me that they would be fine, that the both of them had dealt with this kind of torture for as long as they could remember. As much as I wanted to believe her, my stomach still churned unhappily whenever I thought about what was actually going on in that forsaken house. I paced up and down the hallways of my grandpa's little house, thinking about how I could try and help the duo, but my mind always came to a blank screen. I groaned in frustration, which earned a strange glance from my grandfather. "Sorry." I gave him a little smirk to try and reassure him that I was okay.
I still hadn't told my grandfather about my feelings for Eren, or the nightmares I've been having almost every month. I didn't want to inconvenience him with all of my problems, when he had his own to deal with. My grandfather owned a library downtown, and recently many shops down in that area have been getting robbed, so my grandfather's stress levels have been higher than usual. Although, my grandfather is a persistent man, so even though I told him that I was okay multiple times during the week, he still asked me how I was doing every day, as if he was expecting a different answer.
After a few more minutes of pacing up and down the narrow hallway, I heard my grandfather call out for me. "Armin, can you come over here please?" I sighed in knowing what was about to happen. I walked over to the older man, and sat on the couch next to him. He turned his fragile body towards mine. "Armin, I know that I've been asking you this question every day since you arrived here, but I'm still going to ask you again. I care about you too much for you to wallow away in this depressed state. Are you okay?" My grandfather said. I looked into his hazel grey eyes, and knew that I probably should just tell him everything, especially since I was leaving tomorrow afternoon to go back to the campus for New Years Eve.
I explained everything that was going on in Mikasa and Eren's home. How I was constantly worried for them during break. I told him about my terrorizing nightmares that haunted me as I slept. But when I got to the topic of Eren, I suddenly couldn't find my words. My grandfather looked at me with a questioning glance, "Is that everything Armin?" I shook my head. "No, there's one more thing. I-I just can't seem to explain it." I closed my eyes and tried to think of why I fell in love with the brunette in the first place. He was my everything. I looked up at my grandfather, and told him the story of how Eren and I first met. I told him of all of our little adventures together. I explained to him about the weird sensations that pulsed in my heart whenever Eren looked at me. I even told my grandfather of our secret kiss we shared together, although it probably didn't mean anything since he was just giving me a chance to have a first kiss. Nothing more and nothing less. At the end of the rant about Eren, my grandfather looked up at me with his kind eyes, and only said the few words that I needed him to say. "You're in love with him, aren't you?" Tears started to swell into my eyes as I nodded my head. Before I could utter another word, my grandfather pulled my into his arms, and held me there for a very long time. I could hear his ragged heartbeat, and I felt a little safer.
"Your parents would be so proud of you, Armin." My grandfather whimpered. I stared back at the old man, "Why do you say that?" I questioned him. My grandfather smiled at me and replied, "Because you have become so much stronger these past years, Armin. You've faced so many hardships in your life, and now you're finally able to be you. You've found somebody who makes you happy just by their smile. All your parent's ever wanted was for you to be happy, and now that you are, it probably makes them very proud for them to be able to call you their son. They loved you so much, Armin. I know they are proud of you." I started sobbing into my grandfather's arms. "I-I miss them so much." I said shakily. My grandfather started to rub my back to calm me down, "I know Armin, I miss them too. But they wouldn't want you to cry over them right now. You have so much life left to live, and they wouldn't want you to waste that. They would want you to smile and laugh. They would want you to fall deeper in love with Eren, and tell him how you feel. They would just want you to be happy." "I know" I said into his shoulder. I lifted myself off of him, and nodded my head. I laughed a little bit and my grandfather was laughing right with me. He hugged me once more, until we finally stood up from the couch. "You should go to sleep, Armin. You have a big day tomorrow." My grandfather winked at me. "Yeah, I will. Thank you, for everything grandpa." He looked at me with his kind eyes, and nodded.
Trying to fall asleep that night proved to be harder than usual. I was filled with anxiousness by getting able to see all of my friends again tomorrow. Although, the second that I did fall asleep, I wish I could have woken up. In my nightmare, I was running. I was running towards nowhere. It looked like I was back on the campus grounds, but everything was foggy. I couldn't stop running, no matter how much I willed my legs to stop moving. I realized that tears were streaming down my pale cheeks. I had no idea why I was crying, but I couldn't stop that either. It was like I wasn't in control of any part of my body, like I was acting as a puppet as somebody's plaything. I looked up around me and saw that what I thought was fog, was actually clouded images. I couldn't tell what the images were actually displaying, but I knew that I saw Eren, me, and a strange black figure. There was fire in some of these pictures, but I just kept running past all of them. Then the voice pulsated throughout my mind. "Everything is going to change." For the first time in my dream, I finally stopped running. Goosebumps were decorating my arms and legs. The voice made me want to throw up whenever it spoke, especially weird phrases like these. I started to scream at the voice, telling it to stop saying those words, but the louder I screamed, the louder it would talk back. I fell to the ground and started to whimper out in fear. How many more dreams could I have like this before I lost my sanity.
My phone woke me up from my nightmarish world. I groggily picked up the lit up phone, and pressed the little green button that showed me I had an incoming call. "Hello?" I said huskily. "Armin? Is that you?" It was Eren's voice on the other end. "Who else would it be?" I said jokingly. "Yeah, I guess. Hey listen, I'm sorry that I'm calling you so late, but I couldn't sleep. I haven't really been able to sleep since the night we Skyped. I guess I'm just worried about sleeping with my dad in the house. I know it sounds stupid, but I just needed to hear your voice." My stomach filled with sadness at his statement. "That's okay Eren. I wasn't really having the best sleep too." "Nightmare?" Eren questioned me. I nodded my head, but realized that Eren couldn't see me so I said, "Yeah, nightmare." The phone filled with some static for a few seconds, until Eren said, "I could try and sing to you to make you fall asleep." "Eren, you don't have to do that. I don't want to keep you up any further." I said to the emerald eyed boy. "No it's okay. It might actually do me some good. I might be able to fall asleep after singing a little bit." I agreed to his proposition. He started to hum to a song that I wasn't familiar with. "What song are you going to sing?" I asked the brunette. "It's called Lost Boy by Ruth B. You'll like it, trust me." I set my phone on speaker, so I could lay down and just enjoy Eren singing to me.
There was a time when I was alone
Nowhere to go and no place to call home.
My only friend was the man in the moon
And even sometimes he would go away, too.
Eren's voice was sweet and strong. With each new verse, he would grow even more confident. I could already feel my eyelids start to droop.
I am a lost boy from Neverland usually hanging out with Peter Pan
And when we're bored we play in the woods
Always on the run from Captain Hook
"Run, run, lost boy," they say to me.
Away from all of reality.
I started to float in between my conscious and subconscious. His voice was putting me under a spell. Once he was done singing, there was a little bit of static, until I heard him say, "Goodnight Armin. I'll see you tomorrow." Then the line went dead, and I was finally able to fall asleep without any nightmares.
The next day was bittersweet. I didn't want to leave my grandfather, but at the same time, I was so excited to finally see all of my friends. "Have a fun time Armin. I'll miss you." My grandfather hugged me tight, then finally went on his way. The train ride back to the campus took about two hours, so I occupied myself by just listening to my music and looking out the train window. I was convinced that I was going to see Eren on the other side of the train, just like the night that we met. I decided to text the brunette, and tell him that I was on the way back to campus.
To Eren: Hey just got on the train! See you in about two hours :)
From Eren: I'll meet you at the station. I've missed you so much! See you soon ;)
I turned off my phone and closed my eyes, hoping that if I fell asleep for the train ride, I would get to see Eren sooner. In reality, I just rested my head on the stiff cushioned seat, rather than falling into my subconscious. I tried to think about if I really wanted to tell Eren how I felt about him. It would taking a huge risk, but I was going to have to do it at some point. At this point, I was unknowingly procrastinating. I had so many moments to tell Eren how I actually felt, but I hid my feelings down into my mind. At some point, all of the thoughts in my head were just going to explode in a waterfall of emotions.
Two hours on the train passed unexpectedly fast. I heard the conductor of the train call out for my stop, so I went to gather my luggage. I walked down the small flight of stairs to get to the main doors. When I finally got off of the platform, I looked around to see if any of my friends were here to meet me. My thoughts were shortly answered when I heard somebody yelling my name, and then brutally tackling me to the ground. I felt the soft snow underneath my flimsy body. I looked up to meet gorgeous emerald eyes. I smiled at the brunette. Eren was grinning from ear to ear. He put his head in the dip of my shoulder and stayed like that for a long time. I could feel his cold breath on my neck, and it made me squirm a little at the small ticklish sensation. He finally lifted his head from the crook of my shoulder and looked at me with his piercing green eyes. His cheeks were a strong pink color from the winter air, but he was still laying in the snow with me. "Hi." I finally said to him. "Hey, I've missed you." Eren whispered. I laughed a little before saying, "Yeah, I can see that." We stayed in this position for a few more seconds, until I heard a small cough come from behind Eren. I tilted my head to see Mikasa, standing with all of our luggage. "Oh! Hi Mikasa." I exclaimed to the raven haired girl. "Hi Armin. It's nice to see you again." She chuckled. Eren finally removed himself from me, and I felt air creep back into my lungs. Mikasa and I hugged, then all three of us went to get into Eren's truck for the New Year's Eve party at Jean and Marco's.
During the ride there, we all told little stories of how our vacations went. Luckily, Eren and Mikasa tried to leave out their dad for the most part. I told them all about New York, and said to the duo that the three of us would have to go visit sometime soon. Before we knew it, we were pulling into the small driveway of the little apartment complex that Jean and Marco lived in. We walked up the numerous amount of stairs, and walked into the already crowded room. Chears and conversations filled up the small apartment. I hugged and conversed with everybody in the room. The whole squad seemed to already be there. "Well now that everybody's here, let's head out!" Connie announced to the room. I stood in the middle of everybody zooming past me. A confused look was splayed all over my face. Eren nudged my shoulder and said, "Hey what's wrong?" "Where are we going? I thought that all of us were just going to hang out here." I motioned to the small apartment. Eren gave me a small smirk, "Oh, I must've not told you, we're all going clubbing before the ball drops tonight. It'll be fun." Eren assured me. I tried to picture myself in a small corner looking at all the drunk people around me. Parties had never really been my thing in the first place, but add alcohol and people dancing everywhere, I was bound to be writhing in awkwardness. Eren seemed to sense my doubtfulness about all of this, "Hey, it's okay. I'll stay with you, if you feel uncomfortable." "You really don't have to do that Eren." I told the brunette, but he seemed to shrug off my pleading with him, and wouldn't take no for an answer.
The second that we stepped into the door, I knew that I should've just stayed at the apartment. There were already many partygoers for the holiday, so the room was already insanely crowded. All of my friends went and started to dance on the lit up floor with the other dancers. This was the club that all of the underclassmen knew about because they were lenient about underage drinking, so it was all the rage. I didn't understand how the police didn't know about this place, but all of my classmates didn't seem to care. I went to sit on the small bar stool and just observe everybody around me. Eren took a seat next to me, and laughed at all of our friends on the dancefloor. It was a pretty spectacular sight. Jean and Marco were already making out in a secluded corner, Sasha and Connie were disturbing the peace by bumping into everybody they saw, and Mikasa and Annie were awkwardly trying to dance with each other. The rest of the group was trying to be subtle about their movements, to not draw attention to themselves.
Eren stood up from the bar stool and muttered out the words, "Bathroom." I sighed in knowing how long it would take Eren to even reach the bathroom in a crowd like this, so I turned towards the menu behind me, and looked under the list of tea's that the club had. Tea calmed my nerves most of the time, so I went for the tea that looked the most promising. "Um, hi. I would like to get one Long Island Iced Tea please." I said to the bartender standing in front of me. Her eyes seemed to linger on mine for a little longer than I would care to admit. She then shrugged her shoulders and started to make my iced tea. After she finished, I gave her the right amount of cash, then indulged in my drink. It had a very strong kick to it. It tasted like every other iced tea that I have had, but something seemed to be different about this certain drink. Then a impetuous sensation came over me. My heartbeat seemed to quicken its pace, and it was as if my mind was buzzing, but in all of this, I felt contentment stream through my veins. I wanted to savor every moment that was happening. I looked back at all of my friends, and they were almost moving in slow motion. I started to laugh, then I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. "Hey Blondie, what's so funny?" Eren asked. I pointed over to everybody and said, "They're moving so sl-hic-ow." I said while hiccuping. I took another sip off of my drink, and I relished in the sudden bliss I was feeling. I saw Eren look over to the bartender, and heard him say, "What did he order?" The girl told him what I was drinking, and Eren had a look of impending doom written all over his face. "Goddamit Armin, you're a lightweight, aren't you?" "What, hic, does that mean?" I asked through slurred words. Eren just shook his head and ordered a coffee. He took my tea out of my hands, and replaced it with the hot coffee. "Here, drink this. Hopefully it'll help with everything you're going to feel in the next few hours, and maybe it'll bring you to your senses." I begrudgingly drank the new drink, but it didn't last long when I heard a certain song start to play over the numerous speakers in the vicinity.
I immediately stood up from my seat, and started to pull Eren onto the dancefloor. "Come on Eren! Pl-hic-ease dance with me?" I yanked him even further off of his chair, until he had to stand unless he wanted to fall. "Armin, I don't really dance." He said seriously. Although, I didn't let him decide because I pulled him as hard as I could onto the dancefloor. "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk The Moon, was pounding so loud, that I could feel the vibrations in my toes. I moved to the beat and did the same actions that the lyrics were saying.
She took my arm, I don't know how it happened.
We took the floor and she said, "Oh, don't you dare look back.
Just keep your eyes on me."
I said, "You're holding back, "
She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"
I grabbed at Eren's arm whenever the certain lyric said to do so. I was laughing my head off, oblivious to how stupid I probably looked. Eren started off by standing completely still. You probably could've mistaken him for a statue if I hadn't been constantly grabbing at him. "Come on Eren! Dance with me!" I pleaded with the brunette. After a few seconds of trying to convince him to move his feet, his knees were finally bouncing to the beat of the song.
Deep in her eyes,
I think I see the future.
I realize this is my last chance.
I was belting out all of lyrics as if I was screaming to the entire world. I took Eren's hand nearing the end of the song, and just started spinning. It was euphoric. Eren finally started to laugh along with me in the moment of this dizzying dance. The second that the song ended, my chest collided with Eren's. My breath was ragged and shaky from all of the exertion. The world was spinning too fast for me to comprehend what was going on around me. So I just tucked my head further into Eren. The song variety seemed to change suddenly when I did this. It went from a fast upbeat song, to a slower, more calmer tone. A cover of the song "Sweater Weather" featuring Alyson Stoner and Max Schneider was now slowly humming throughout the building. I could hear Eren's heartbeat pounding and I could feel his steady breathing. I looked up into his shimmering emerald eyes, and said, "I'm sorry for drinking that tea." Eren chuckled at my statement and replied with, "It's okay Armin, you didn't know that a Long Island Ice Tea had a lot of alcohol in it." "Yeah, I probably should've checked that." I said guiltily. Eren just shook his head. "It's alright. You can stay in my dorm tonight, cause you'll probably have a little bit of a hangover tomorrow morning." "I think I'm already feeling it now." I said. I could already feel a small pounding in my head, and I felt off balance. "It's alright, once we get back to Jean and Marco's I will get you something for that." He said into my ear. But until that happened, the both of us were just holding onto each other, swaying in a little circle, like we were slow dancing at high school prom.
After all of us decided that it was time to leave to watch the ball drop, Eren was getting me some ice water and ibuprofen for the headache. I was retelling my story to everybody around the room, and they all said that it was a right of passage to get a little drunk in college. But to be honest, I don't think that I will be getting drunk any time soon again. I drank the water that Eren handed me, and downed the pills of ibuprofen. All of us were sitting on the floor and couches that decorated the small living room. It was only about five more minutes until the ball dropped, announcing the start of a new year. Eren looked over at me and said, "So Blondie, any New Year's Resolutions for you?" I shook my head. "I don't really think that they work for me. If something happens during the upcoming year, then it will happen. I don't want to try and constrict what I am and what I'm not going to do in the next year. I will deal with whatever is thrown at me. But what about you? Do you have any resolutions?" I asked Eren. He shrugged his shoulders, "Just little things like be more happy, don't judge as much, get smarter, maybe fall in love. Little things like that."
The last part of what Eren said stuck with me. He wanted to fall in love, which reminded me of what I needed to say to him. The thing is, I don't think that I'm ready to tell him yet, but I still want to show him that I love him. I'm just worried that I fallen to fast in love with Eren, and that I am just getting my hopes up. I have only known him for a solid six months, and of course I'm worried I'm falling down in the rabbit hole that always lures me with the thoughts of Eren. I'm scared that everything I hope and dream for, will crumble like dust in the palm of my hand. I'm worried that I am just yearning for affection that in reality, just isn't there. But there is no denying that I am in love with him, I can't just simply turn my back away from all of these pressing emotions. I have fallen down the rabbit hole that beats with my heart's desire, and there's no stopping what's to come. I just wish that I could show him, without speaking my thoughts. The seconds are slowly counting down from 10 to 9 and so on. I'm still stuck in all of my thoughts by the time everybody is yelling the number five.
Then, out of the blue, an idea hits me. Four more seconds pass by, and everybody is screaming "ONE...ZERO! Happy New Year!" Streamers and confetti decorate the scenery around me. I can't stop my body from what I'm about to do. I walk through all of the flying colored paper, and step right next to Eren, and gently put my lips against his warm cheek. I can feel the rest of his body tense up at my sudden outburst of affection, but I really don't care. I hear a few people snicker, and I'm pretty sure I heard a camera flash snap a quick picture from somewhere in the room. After I take my lips off of his cheek, I dare to look at his wide eyes. He is blushing profusely, and he is still standing still. I think for a second that I have broken him, but luckily I see him crack a small smile, then he plants a kiss on the top of my forehead, in front of everybody watching. "Happy New Year, Armin." He playfully winks at me. I chuckle and reply "Happy New Year, Eren." We are locked into each others gaze, and for a second, I thought that we might actually kiss, but we get interrupted by Jean yelling "Get a room already!" I can see through the corner of my eye that Marco nudges him with his elbow, and Jean gives him a 'What did I do?' kind of look.
After the party is over, Eren and I are walking back to his dorm, so that we can watch some movies and just talk with each other. It slowly starts to snow little snowflakes. They start to decorate Eren's hair and eyelashes. He starts to run towards his dorm, and I can hear him yell, "First one there gets to pick the movie!" "Oh you are so on!" I yell back. I can already tell that Eren is going to win the little race that we are having. But he still looks behind to see where I am, and everytime he does this, I can feel my heartbeat flutter, and my breath quickens, and the ocean waves in my stomach are on the verge of starting a storm. His emerald eyes shimmer in the lamp light that lights the way to his dorm. He looks like a character from a movie, he is absolutely stunning. And I know that in this very moment, and from here on out, everything is going to change.