There was probably something morally wrong about this, but then again, there was probably something morally wrong about everything, and with that in mind, Frank Iero found himself prepared to fuck his dead boyfriend in the bed of an abandoned house.
Seriously, his seventeen year old self would be so fucking jealous of just how 'cool' and 'edgy' this was, but twenty eight year old Frank was perhaps just a little more concerned with Gerard, and the way everything felt different in New Jersey.
He'd never anticipated how the physical changes Gerard had gone through as he moved closer to his grave would effect fucking him, but then again, that was probably something to do with the fact that Frank had at least a gram of self respect, however, in that very moment that the aforementioned dead boyfriend had Frank pinned down against the bed, all mentions of self respect were now utterly non-existent in Frank's head.
Because come on, who wouldn't chose Gerard Way over dignity and self-respect?
"I missed this." Gerard's words were rough, and half muffled against Frank's chest, his lips fixed upon the skin of Frank's collar bones, with their clothes discarded on the floor, because it totally wasn't like anyone could just walk in here at any time, not that anyone ever did, but it wasn't impossible.
"It's not been that long since we've fucked." Frank's words were breathy and half forced between his lips as his fingernails dug into Gerard's shoulders.
"It's different like this." Gerard pulled away for a moment, meeting Frank's eyes as he continued, "I feel less like Gerard, who was your boyfriend before he killed himself, but Gerard, your boyfriend, who just happens to have killed himself. It feels-... it's Jersey, isn't it? It's different."
"Shut up," Frank let out a sigh, pushing his lips against Gerard's, and catching him just a little by surprise as he did so. "You want me to fuck you, or-?"
"Fuck me." Gerard certainly didn't need asking twice about that one, falling back against the bed, and watching with that stupid fucking smirk as Frank crawled on top of him, kissing him with little regard for caution, or taking things slowly. "Fuck me already, Jesus Christ, Frankie, I-" Gerard choked out as Frank pulled away from him.
"I'm taking my time, shut the fuck up. I could not fuck you at all." Frank grinned at him, however the both of them knew that Frank just leaving and giving up now was certainly something that wasn't going to happen.
"You're the one who wanted to fuck in the first place, Frank, don't be fucking stupid-"
"Oh, I'm fucking stupid, now, am I?" Frank raised his eyebrows at that, moving his lips down to Gerard's neck, ensuring he was rough enough in his actions to leave one big fucking mess of bruises.
"Yeah, fucking stupid, because you're not fucking me already." Gerard giggled a little, however he really hadn't anticipated for Frank squeezing his hand around his cock, releasing some sort of strained whimper as he did so.
"Shut the fuck up, Gee." Frank smirked to himself, because yes, Gerard did shut the fuck up after that, only opening his mouth for more 'half-groans' as Frank continued to touch him, of course never enough for it to really mean anything, but definitely enough to ensure that it didn't go unnoticed.
After a few minutes of just plain teasing him, Frank sat up, admiring the mess of hickeys upon his boyfriend's neck, and the obsessive look in his hazel eyes, and of course, the words behind his lips, the words that wanted out, but not as much he needed Frank to fuck him, so for that, Gerard would shut the fuck up.
"You want me to fuck you now?" Frank asked, smirking a little as he pushed Gerard's legs further open.
"Y-yeah..." Gerard choked out, not entirely in the most able state to speak in, "please. I need it, really fucking bad," he let out a groan, moving one hand down to his cock, needing to touch himself, needing to fucking come, but he knew all too well that Frank didn't like that at all - slapping his hand away.
"Gerard, we don't have any lube, I-" Frank came to a sudden horrific realisation, to which Gerard laughed in his face. "What?"
"I came prepared, there's lube in my jacket pocket." He giggled to himself, leaving Frank to roll his eyes in disbelief, as he pulled the little bottle from the pocket of Gerard's jacket, lubing his fingers up, before spreading Gerard's legs wide.
"You ready?"
"Course I'm fucking ready." Gerard snapped, as Frank pushed one finger in, letting Gerard adjust for a moment, "you know, being dead, I don't feel pain, so really there's no need to prep me at all, you can just fuck me."
"You can be horny, but you can't feel pain?" Frank raised his eyebrows at that. "That's something I don't get."
"I feel, basically, a reflection of your emotions, in a weird way, so... I'm horny, because you're horny." Gerard smiled, looking oddly proud of himself as Frank pulled his fingers away, "so please, just fuck me, because you're insanely horny right now."
And Frank had to blush at that, lubing his cock up and pushing Gerard's thighs back, not caring if he left marks on them, fuck, it's be amazing if he left marks, as he lined himself up, pushing in slowly at first, before coming to the most wonderful realisation that he really didn't have to.
"Is that okay-"
"Frank, just fuck me, please." Gerard choked out, brushing his hair away from his face as Frank began to slam into him, his breath littered with moans, which were perhaps a little too loud, perhaps a little too staged, but fuck, Frank couldn't care, because in a fucking weird way, he'd missed Gerard's ass, and he'd especially missed fucking it.
It wasn't quite the same as it had been before, but it was good enough. Gerard would never be warm around him, Gerard would never actually come himself, but he'd feel that realise as Frank did, he'd feel it all as Frank did, and as Frank pounded into the gift to this world that was Gerard's ass, he came to realise just how connected the two were: soulmates, in an odd sense of the word, and with an even odder way to come to realise it.
But speaking of coming, Frank soon was, and in Gerard's ass, and the two were a mess of breathy moans and an overdose of hormones as Frank lay down beside Gerard, pressing a kiss to his lips as he did so: quick, meaningful, a non-verbal 'I love you'.
"You okay?" He asked a few moments later, getting his breath back.
"Yeah," Gerard smiled, "it's been far too long since we've done that properly."
"Is it not weird for you, like, being dead, and-"
"Is it not weird for you? Fucking a dead guy?" Gerard raised his eyebrows, and well, yeah, Frank shut up right about then.
-
They'd stayed in that house for perhaps too long, but perhaps Frank couldn't quite give a fuck: finding himself oddly attached to the place, or more accurately, the look in Gerard's eyes as he looked around. He really seemed to be at peace here, and Frank wasn't even sure that Gerard could be at peace, and for how happy he was here, Frank wondered if he'd ever want to leave.
They could stay here for a little while longer, less of a little while even, more of a long time, Frank didn't care at all, he just cared about Gerard exclusively, and he really seemed to be at peace with himself and the world sat down on the floor with his eyes fixated upon the window and the world outside: light streaming in and illuminating his already pale face - fuck, he was so fucking beautiful.
Gerard had no responsibilities, he had no ties, other than to Frank, but neither of the two really looked at that as a liability, Gerard was even immortal; he could stay here forever, at peace, where he was happiest forever, and Frank envied him so much, because he could never say the same for himself.
And that regarded the messages on his cellphone in particular: Brendon and Ryan both demanding an explanation and multiple times, and Frank didn't want them to worry, but he didn't want to talk either; he just wanted to walk straight out of his life in New York and leave that mess all behind, because in that very moment with Gerard sat just a few meters away from, happier than ever before, Frank doubted that he'd ever leave Jersey again.
Leaving had been the worst idea, in fact, Frank's life was just a long string of bad ideas and the fucked up consequences, and the difficult matters of trying to deal with them. The two together were like the dream team for making a royal fucking mess out every worthwhile situation and opportunity, because Gerard was pretty much the pioneer of bad ideas, and Frank was the headcase who let them ruin his life - Frank listened to Gerard, that was his first mistake.
It was certainly Frank's favourite mistake though, because every word from Gerard's lips was absolutely beautiful, and Frank found himself so sickeningly in love with the guy he didn't quite know what to do with himself. Fuck, at least he didn't have to worry over the matter of confessing this mess of feelings to him, because he was certain that Gerard already knew, or could feel it at least, because it certainly explained that overly smug little smirk that appeared on his face from time to time.
Frank jumped a little as his cellphone vibrated in his hands: a call from Brendon, an incoming call, and just as his thumb hovered over the decline button, Gerard was at his feet and by Frank's side with a concerned look in his eyes.
"Why are you ignoring your friends?" He asked, glancing between Frank and the phone: unable to figure this one out.
"I just want-... I can't deal with that anymore: New York, and everything. I don't think I could ever go back-"
"There's a difference between going to a different state and answering a phone call, Frank." Gerard let out a sigh, snatching the phone out of his boyfriend's hands and accepting the call, putting it onto speakerphone and letting Brendon's voice sound through the room.
"Frank? Where the fuck are you? What's going on? Why are you ignoring us? What the fuck has happened?" Brendon had at least a million questions, and as much as Frank hated it, he couldn't ever blame him for it, because it was quite obviously himself that was to blame.
"You didn't talk to him at all?" Gerard exclaimed, looking at Frank with an odd kind of confusion, leaving Brendon perhaps even more confused on the end of phoneline.
"Gerard?" Brendon asked, unsure just what the actual fuck was going on right now.
"Yeah, hey." Gerard began, continuing to look at Frank in confusion, "I thought Frank would have texted you or said something, I don't know... he's fine, he's just... I don't know, doesn't matter, I'll talk to him later. Look me and him, we're in New Jersey, he like... it's complicated but he really needed to go home for some personal issues, and we might be here for a while now, we don't know, but me and him are perfectly fine, I promise."
"Can I talk to him?" Brendon asked, not that he was particularly suspicious of Gerard, he was just concerned for his best friend.
"Frank, come on, talk to him." Gerard let out a sigh, squeezing his boyfriend's hand, and holding the phone out to him.
"H-Hey..." Frank let out a half-hearted exclamation, attempting to sound at all enthusiastic or like he gave one single fuck about anything that wasn't Gerard and New Jersey.
"Frank? Jesus fucking Christ, we thought you'd died or something..." He trailed off, "look, what the fuck is going on, please? Just explain, be vague if you must, just fucking- nothing makes sense, Frank."
"I... I kept having these weird dreams, like nightmares, like really fucking bad, about home, Jersey, and places I went as a teenager, and I was so distraught one night and I begged Gerard to just let me go back there, I don't, I just needed to be there, and now we're here, and I haven't had a single fucked up dream or anything, it's just different here, I'm happier here."
"You think you're ever going to come back then?" Brendon asked, his tone suddenly rather disgruntled, but not without good reason.
"I don't know, of course, I... it's not like you're never going to see me again, Brendon, I just, I need to sort myself out now - it'll work out, I promise." Frank forced a smile, despite the fact that Brendon couldn't see it all the way in New York. "Look, I'll text you again, I just... I thought you'd be angry-"
"I am angry." Brendon protested, before laughing it off, "but how glad I am to find you're okay sort of balances it out."
"I'm okay, I promise, I'll talk to you later, okay." Frank glanced up at Gerard, who had never stopped looking at him weirdly, "bye, Brendon." He ended the call and shoved his cellphone back into his pocket, Gerard continuing to watch him like a scientist might study something unexplainably fascinating.
"You're never going to go back to New York." Gerard told him - it wasn't a demand, but a fact, because Gerard knew, just as much as Frank did, and deep down Brendon did too.
"I... I..."
"I understand, in a weird way, I do, but, you can't keep lying to and ignoring your friends." Gerard let out a sigh, before pulling Frank into a hug. "I'm glad you're okay too," he added.
-
"You sure you're going to be fine with this?" Frank asked, holding tight to Gerard's hand, perhaps out of habit more than anything, but it also served as a gesture of comfort.
"Of course I am, it was just the forest, this is different, and it's not like we can just sit in an abandoned house forever, is it?" Gerard let out a laugh, seeming far too free and comfortable - it seemed almost unnatural, perhaps to the point that it was unnerving, but all in all, Frank found himself far more unnerved by the fact that he found his boyfriend being happy unnerving, but then again, it was Gerard.
But in that same way, the Gerard beside him was a very different Gerard to the one he'd known ten years prior.
"Fuck, I'm getting weird flashbacks and memories with like every step." Frank let out a sigh, glancing around at the all too familiar streets, the two making their way in the vague direction of the park: something neither of the two had really frequented a decade ago, making it a perfect place to just sit and talk, without Gerard having a mental breakdown again.
"You're not the one who can see memories, Frank, this place it's fucking..." Gerard let out a sigh, "I'm okay, they're not bad memories, and I can block out the majority of them, it's just weird, you know? I can see my sixteen year old self walking down the street, that sounds kind of trivial, but I was on the phone with this guy who I really liked at the time, and he asked me to be his boyfriend, and I was so fucking happy-"
"Not Bert?" Frank raised his eyebrows, cringing a little as he came to realise he'd pretty much forgotten all about Bert McCracken up until that very moment.
"No." Gerard let out a sigh, "it lasted like a month, but you know, I was sixteen."
"And I would have been eleven at that time." Frank let out a laugh at that, "dear god, that's fucking ridiculous. Eleven."
"God, stop it, you're making me sound like a creep." Gerard laughed it off, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'd stopped thinking about Bert, though." He added, "I wonder if he's still around."
"I spoke to him that day..." Frank exhaled loudly, holding onto Gerard's hand just a little tighter. "After you stormed out, when I was just sat on my bed, he told me what he thought you would have done, and it... fuck, it was the worst thing... the worst fucking thing."
"I'm sorry." Gerard's voice was hushed, looking away from Frank, "I just wonder if he's still around. Not in like... a... I'm just, I'd want to see him again, he's not such a bad guy, and people change, he's had ten years-"
"We can if you want, I just, I think you're forgetting that you're dead." Frank added, meeting Gerard's gaze with a slight smile.
"Bert's into the supernatural shit, he'd get it, why I want to see him, you know? He knows about this stuff as well." Gerard smiled, the two making their way into the park, everything feeling so fucking real around them, and dear god, it was fucking weird: inexplicably weird. "Mikey wouldn't." Gerard added, a few moments later, "Mikey would be weird about everything, and it'd upset him, it's probably best we just leave him out of this."
"He's your brother." Frank protested, unsure as to quite what to make of this; he kind of understand where Gerard was coming from, but in the same way, the guy sounded like a fucking idiot, as much as he loved him. "He was also one of my best friends."
"Yeah, well you're pretty fucking good at ignoring them, aren't you?" Gerard snapped, his words coming out harsher than he had anticipated, leaving the two in regret for a painful few moments as Gerard scraped together some form of apology. "Fuck, I'm sorry... I..." He let out a sigh, "I didn't mean that."
"It's okay." Frank's voice was quiet, his tone sort of half-hearted, unsure if he quite meant it, but always certain of just how in love with Gerard he was, and in the end, the two kind of balanced each other out.
"Promise me, Frankie?" Gerard asked, meeting Frank's gaze with sincerity. "That sounds like something I would have said ten years ago - I don't want to be that version of me anymore. I want to make this easy for us: I want to make this work. I love you."
"I promise." Frank smiled, "I love you too."
And as Frank said so, Gerard caught sight of a particular memory: stronger than most, out of the corner of his eye: two guys, one with bright red hair, one with short black hair, holding hands, with that same look in their eyes when they looked at one another.
-
hey pals!!! i hope u liked this chapter i have so many ideas for this fic I'm practically gerard way its so weird I'm not used to having a plot lmao. vote and comment because plot vibes !!!! i love u pals !!!