Chapter 4
I woke up lying on the cold ground. I couldn’t feel the heat of Dyami from behind me so I assumed that he had already woken up. I opened my eyes and peered out at the large group of awakening people. I listened and all I could hear was coughing. My smile was instantly replaced by a grimace as my mind started to wake up and remind me of where I was and what was going on. I sat up slowly and decided I should start another fire. With my blanket still around me I walked over to the pile of ash that had been our small fire and poked it. It was still smoldering enough to light some of the small twigs on fire.
Gradually, as the morning went on, the fire got bigger so I decided to boil some water and roots to make a tea. I saw Tiva come and kneel next to me. Her normally straight hair was in disarray after sleeping on the ground. It was knotted and there was mud caked in her hair.
“Oh Tiva. Come sit I need to do something about your hair.” I said. She smiled at me, happy that I talked to her, and complied. She sat down in front of me and my hands started to comb through some of the knots.
“You know Nina, I was thinking. What will happen if they never let us out of here?” My hands stopped for a second, shocked at her words. I continued undoing the knots as I thought about what she said.
“I’m sure that it won’t come to that. They have to let us out at some point or we’ll all starve. I know that it might not be great in here but things could be worse for the time being.” I said. She nodded her head. I didn’t really know what to think about what the future might hold. For now I just sat there and braided my friends once straight hair.
When the water started to steam I took it off the fire and poured some of the tea into mine and Tiva’s respective bowls. She thanked me and we drank our tea in silence. Around us people had started to wake up and life began again. Children were playing, babies were crying, people were laughing, but over all of that you could always here the constant coughing. I looked over to my mother to see that she was sitting up against the wall. I took it as a good sign and quickly brought some of the tea over to her.
“Good morning mother. How are you feeling today?” I asked.
She coughed but then smiled at me and nodded. I brought the tea to her lips and let her drink. She sighed when she was done and promptly fell asleep again. She was always sleeping it seemed. At that moment I decided that I needed to get out. I ran over to the gate and banged on it. A white man opened the door. I couldn’t see Charles so I didn’t want to speak English to this man. In my native tongue I asked him where Charles was. It seemed that all he could get out of what I said was ‘Charles’. He ran off leaving the gate to be guarded only by two armed me. They both looked at me warily. I waited for the other man to return. Not too long after he left I saw him come walking over towards the gate with Charles next to him. They were talking in hushed tones so I couldn’t hear what they were saying. They reached the gate and Charles looked up to see who the Indian was who was asking for him. When he saw me he smiled but quickly wiped the expression off of his face.
“Can I help you?” he asked. His voice was cold and harsh. I winced a little at the sound of it but hesitantly took a step towards him. The man with a gun who was standing next to him pointed the barrel of his gun at me. I put my hands up like I had seen Charles do yesterday and took a step back. “Woah, Jack, it’s ok. Put the gun down. I doubt she wants to kill me or anything.” He chuckled and ‘Jack’ slowly put down his gun. I motioned Charles to come closer to me. He looked at me warily then stepped closer. Stood next to him and stood on the tips of my toes to whisper in his ear, “I need to get out. Can I go into the woods and just not go later?” I stepped back again and he looked at me funny.
“Why did you need to whisper that?” I looked pointedly at the other three men who were standing around us. Realization dawned on him and he nodded. I turned around and ran back to grab my bag. I told Tiva where I was going and asked her to look after mother while I was gone. I told Dyami that I would be back by sundown at the latest and asked for his knife incase I came across any rabbits or anything that would be good for dinner. He took his larger knife and sheath from around his waist to give to me and I quickly put it inside my boot. I ran back towards the gate and stopped at the opening. Charles nodded at me and with that I took off. I ran. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me until I was breathing so I hard I was sure I would fall over due to the lightheadedness.
I sat where I stopped in the middle of the dense forest just breathing. Then I started to cry. I cried for Tiva and her dead parents. I cried for my sick and dying people. I cried in pity for my chief who probably felt helpless during this situation. I cried for my mother who was sick and had no help available to her. I cried out of helplessness. I wanted to do something to help all of the suffering people back in that stockade but I couldn’t. I was just one small girl who never spoke up. I had no idea how to go about being able to do anything. While I was crying I was oblivious to the world around me.
A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped away from it quickly digging the knife from my boot and holding it out in front of me at my attacker. I looked into the surprised and slightly fearful face of Charles. I gasped and dropped my knife to the floor and sank to the ground again. I put my face into my hands and cried again. I didn’t hear him leave so when he put his hand on my shoulder again I wasn’t as surprised.
“What’s wrong Nina? Are you ok?” he asked. He sounds genuinely concerned about my. My heart fluttered a little at the thought of him being concerned for me but I thought better and scolded myself for feeling happiness at that. I looked up at him and wiped my eyes. I nodded my head and got up from my spot on the forest floor. I gathered my knife and put it back in its sheath and into my boot. I started to walk away when he grabbed my wrist and stopped me in my tracks. “Nina, really, what’s wrong?” he asked. I shook my head. He really didn’t know what was wrong. Then again how could he. The only time he even acknowledged us was during the five minutes a day when he opened the gate to let us go look for food.
“That’s just it Charles. You don’t even know what’s wrong and yet you are the one causing all of the problems! Do you look at the faces of the people in that stockade when you open the gate? Do you hear all of the coughing that rings through the air non stop? Do you know how little we have had to eat since we have all been locked in there with no fire wood and too few blankets during these past few cold nights?” I was pacing the ground in between these two trees. My hands were flying as I gestured to him. I was rude and loud and as soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them instantly. I threw my hands over my mouth, mortified at what I had just said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. Please don’t hurt me.” I took a few steps away from him and he just stood there an looked at me.
“I’m not going to hurt you for yelling at me Nina. Is it really that bad in there?” he asked. I looked at him and nodded. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he sat down on a fallen log. “I didn’t know it was that awful. Tell me something Nina, and be brutally honest. How much have you eaten in the past four days?” I shook my head trying to convey that I didn’t want to answer that. I didn’t want him to be upset but at the same time I wanted the problems of my people to be heard. “Please. I want to try and fix this.”
“I have had one bowl of soup a day and last night I was able to get a rabbit so I’m not as hungry as today as I have been the other days. But some of the girls aren’t as fast as me. Also there is very little left out here for us to even eat so our soups are mostly water. And our horses, they haven’t had anything to eat either I’m sure. But, then again, you kept them out of the stockade with you. How is my horse? Is Lino ok?” He looked shocked. I put my hand on his arm trying to comfort him. I knew I shouldn’t have told him. The truth would only make him think I was complaining and make him mad at me.
“My men and I starve you and your people and yet you comfort me. Why is it that you are kind to me Nina?” I looked at him and shrugged. I honestly didn’t know what I was nice to him.
“I don’t know. I guess you just intrigue me. I’m curious about you Charles.”
He laughed. “You intrigue me too Nina.” He stood up and brushed the dirt off of his pants. “Show me. Show me what you take back every night.” I nodded and gestured for him to follow me. We were silent as we walked. My trained eyes scanned the ground for any useable roots, leaves, plants, berries, anything that I could take back to my hungry family members. I heard a russell of leaves and stopped in my tracks. I motioned for Charles to be quiet. I scanned the forest for the source of the sound. I spotted it then. A small rabbit was trying to hide itself under a small bush. While motioning for Charles to stay where he was I leaned down and got my knife from my boot. Silently, I crept closer to the bush. I winced when I stepped on a small twig and it snapped alarming the rabbit and sending it running. I sighed but ran after the speedy creature. I darted between the trees and over fallen debris and bushes all the while keeping the rabbit in my sights. I was tiring so I pushed myself faster and grabbed the rabbit swiftly when I was over him. Gripping it by the back of it’s neck I tried not to think about what I had to do next. I quickly killed the small creature with a stab from my knife. I hated hunting. I was glad that the men normally did the hunting.
I heard leaves crunch behind me and turned to see Charles come up behind me. I smiled weakly at him then turned my attention back to the rabbit. I took a piece of cloth from inside my bag and wrapped the creature up so his blood would not stain my bag. Slipping it inside my bag I turned to see Charles staring at me. “Yes?” I asked.
“Nothing.” he said shaking his head. I shrugged and started walking again. “Have you had to do that often?” he asked.
“No. I haven’t been able to find many so its normally just the roots and berries that we gathered earlier.”
I looked up at the sky. The sky was blazing pink and orange as we walked back towards the stockade. I was glad that I was able to find another rabbit for my family. It seemed to have given mother some of her strength back and I was grateful to have found another. “So, um, I have to get back. I need to get this food to my mother.” I said. He smiled down at me. I was just noticing how much taller he was than me. I know that I am small but he might have been even taller than Dyami.
“I’m glad I got the chance to talk to you Nina. I’ll see if I can do anything about the conditions in there ok?” I nodded my head silently and said nothing more as we had come almost to the edge of the woods near the stockade. “I hope to see you again soon.” He touched my arm and looked into my eyes as if he were contemplating something but soon walked away.
Sighing I walked back towards the gate. Some of the girls must have just been getting back because I saw a girl, I think her name was Amitola, walking through the open gate. I walked over to my family and sunk to the frozen ground. Tiva walked up behind me and wrapped my blanket around my shoulders. “I caught another rabbit.” I said. She smiled down and me and began to help me unpack and cook the food I had brought back. I tried to focus on cooking but my mind kept wandering back to the days events.
‘What did I just do?’