Funerals were hard, honestly. Especially when you were so close to that person like a close friend or family member but your own son? That was hard. But the funeral took a an hour at most and then we all went home because we didn't want to have dinner or a small party afterwards. We just went home and I cuddled with Ashton in our bed and we slept the day away while Michael did the same with Calum and Alex in their own room down the hall.
I had to go back to school at some point so two weeks later I was changed and ready to go with my make up on and Ashton was giving me a lift in my car. "You'll be okay?" I nodded and Ashton leaned over the gear stick and made me look at him, "I love you." He said and tipped my chin up with this hand and kissed me.
"I love you too." I whispered and pecked his lips. "Do you want to walk me in?" I asked.
Ashton nodded and we both got out of the car and Ashton took my hand in his. "You look nice today." He said and I smiled, looking down at my skirt. "Like every day."
"Thank you." I mumbled blushing.
We walked to the school entrance and Ashton pressed me against the wall next to the door and kissed my lips, a lingering kiss. "Be good yeah?"
"You always say that." I rolled my eyes, "I'm fine." I leaned up and kissed him whispering, "I'm a good boy Daddy." I giggled before Ashton let me go inside with a smack on my ass.
Michael was getting a ride with Calum, he'd picked him up early so they could go to Starbucks or something, and Ashton was babysitting for the day. We wouldn't tell Michael but while Ashton dropped me off at school Alex was still fast asleep in his crib. I walked in to school, glancing behind me to see Ashton walk back to his car.
I walked to my locker and a few of my friends were stood there and they waved as I approached, Michael stepping forward and handed me a drink from Starbucks, "Got your favourite." I thanked him, sipping the drink.
I opened my locker and sorted out my books from the past two weeks I'd been away. I was feeling better now, a little anyway. Ashton and I hadn't done anything physical together yet but I was waiting for him to be ready again. Ready enough that he'd want to be with me, and not have to worry about me getting pregnant again and losing him or her. I couldn't have that happen again either, it was too much.
I turned around to my friends and that's when I noticed the stares I was getting from everyone in the hallway, they literally had all stopped to stare at me. Louis took my hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly.
My friends glared at everyone and I sighed, "Should we head to class?" But before we could leave Chloe from the cheer squad, hobbled over to us in crutches and I hugged her before she looked down at my stomach and sighed a little before looking up at me.
"I am so sorry that it happened Luke, I took full blame for this, my shoelace was undone and I tripped and then you fell and I'm so sorry Luke." She gushed but I shook my head.
"It's fine, I was feeling nauseas, and lost balance." I smiled and one of Chloe's friends skipped over to her.
"Chloe, we gotta get to class." She said before looking at me in confusion. "I thought you were pregnant?"
I saw Louis want to say something but I looked at him and he closed his mouth again. I looked at Chloe's friend and smiled tightly, "I lost him." I said and her face dropped.
"Oh, I'm sorry." She said before turning back to Chloe, "You're girlfriend is waiting for you."
Chloe smiled and she kissed my cheek before hobbling away with her friend. We headed to our first lesson and it was History, as we got there Mr Thompson said there was an assembly in the hall. I sipped my Starbucks and sighed as everyone groaned before going to the opposite side of the school and in to the hall. I had to put my drink in the bin before entering and we soon sat at the back and Calum sat in between Michael and I, his arm over the back of both our chairs, and I leaned in to him a little, my head on his shoulder.
Everyone filled the hall and the Headteacher came on to the stage and he sat on the edge, his feet dangling off. "Good morning everyone." He said and we said it back. "I've asked you here today to tell you all I am retiring. I leave at the end of the year."
Lots of students booed and started to talk and I turned to Calum and Michael and they were confused. "What?" I asked.
"He's not old enough to retire." Calum whispered. "He's only fifty two, he's friends with my dad."
"Then why did he say that?" I asked and he shrugged. "Is he being forced in to it or?"
"After the year is up, a new head will take over. In fact he is my son." He said and then I noticed the younger man by the side of the stage near the doors to the hall. He was hot as fuck. "I expect you to all respect him and life here at Whitmore will continue as normal, until if or when he decides to make some changes."
That meant the end of the assembly and then he said something that made me stiffen. "Can the cheer squad stay behind for five minutes please?"
Everyone began to leave and I stayed seated until it was half empty and I saw Nathan, and sat with him. He smiled at me, "You okay?" I nodded and he grinned, "Good."
When it was just us, I saw Kim and she told everyone to sit on the stage and I jumped up, my feet dangling down. Kim stood in front of everyone and smiled a little, "So I have decided that Luke isn't on the team anymore." She said and I frowned. It was expected though. "You understand don't you?" She asked and I nodded. "We'll be holding try outs also as Chloe isn't able to walk for a little while too. We want to expand our team and get bigger for better stunts and to be the best. We want to excel for next years competition."
Then she turned to Angie at the end, "Can you bring them in now?" She asked and Angie stood up going in to a room across the hall and I watched as she came out with a large bouquet of flowers. Angie handed them to Kim and Kim walked up to me. "You're a very brave person to have even attempted to do what you did and I am so sorry that I asked you to, I'm taking the blame so if Ashton wants to scream at anyone he can scream at me." She said and kissed my forehead before handing me the flowers. They were pretty pinks and purples and whites and I thanked her quietly, accepting the card also.
The head teacher was still here, standing off to the side and he came forward after a minute and he gave me a smile. "Your mother called and said what happened and we're willing to pay for therapy as we know it's not an easy thing to happen to someone, especially since you're only seventeen."
I nodded, "Thank you, but I don't think I'll need it." I shrugged. "I have Ashton to help."
"Ashton is still just a kid, he can't help." He said, "You need something professional."
I only sighed and nodded, "Can I think about it?" He nodded and I thanked him quietly.
"Would you like me to look after these flowers for you?" He asked and I nodded again, handing them to him, keeping the card.
We all separated to our classes and I went to History, the class already starting so I quickly walked to my seat and got out my stuff. I got to work and when we had to do a worksheet I opened the card and it was signed by everyone in the team.
I read them all and Nathan had written a lengthy bit in the corner and I read it, my eyes watering a little at all of them. I heard footsteps and then Mr Thompson was standing in front of me. "Are you okay?" He asked, bending down so he was at my height as I was sat down.
I nodded wiping my eyes, "Yeah, just got a card." I said.
Mr Thompson looked at it, "May I?"
I nodded and he looked at the card reading some of it while I wiped my eyes, minding my make up, thankfully my mascara was waterproof. He stopped reading before handing it back to me and I put it in my bag. "Do you want to go outside for a moment?"
I shook my head, "I'm fine."
"I know it's hard to come in to school and do work after something like that." He said, "Trust me, I've had to experience it first hand, Luke."
I looked up at him, "You lost your kid?"
He nodded, "I told you I had three didn't I?" I nodded. "Well one of them had a twin sister, she was still born." He said quietly so people didn't hear. They were doing work anyway and talking to their friends. "It's incredibly hard to lose your baby but there are plenty of other chances to have a kid Luke."
I nodded, "I know, thank you."
After History I had PE so I headed down to the changing rooms with Mike, Cal, Zayn and Lauren, us splitting up in genders. I put my bag down and got out my PE kit. I set my shoes out and my shorts and shirt before hesitating and taking off my white shirt, leaving me in my skirt and I paused looking down at my stomach.
I gulped and I felt Zayn behind me, "You don't have to, Lu." He said and I turned to him seeing the majority of the boys staring at my stomach, the scar.
"Luke you can be excused." The coach said and I smiled a little before putting on my white long sleeved shirt, tucking it in to my navy skirt, white swallows printed on it. I put my PE clothes away before picking up my brown bag and Michael sat with me, as we waited for the boys to get dressed.
We walked with the boys to the gym and we sat on the bench on the side as the boys were split in to teams and played basket ball. Michael and I sat in silence as we watched the boys play and I rested my head on his shoulder after a little while. "Does it get easier?" I asked.
"It will, Luke." Michael said.
Then the gym doors opened and we both looked up to see Ashton there with Alex in his arms. Ashton saw us and waved before he walked up to the coach who was confused as to why Ashton was here. Ashton said something and he nodded, letting Ashton walk over to us. "Liz called me as soon as Luke got in school." He said.
"What about?" I asked.
"The orphanage got a call from Michael's Aunt and Uncle, they called Liz and told her. Liz called me to see if Mike was still with me." Ashton explained and Michael stood up. "Liz called the office, you can go."
"Tell Cal to meet me at Mums." Michael said before he ran out of the gym with his bag. Calum them ran over to us with a look of confusion, he first took Alex from Ashton and Ash repeated what he'd said and Calum said he was going too. Coach shouted as Calum left but the latter completely ignored him and left the school.
Ashton sighed and sat down beside me, taking my hand in his. "You alright? Why aren't you playing?" He asked.
"People were looking at my scar and Coach said I didn't have to join." I said quietly and Ashton nodded kissing my forehead.
"Do you want to skip?" He asked but I shook my head no.
"Can you stay in school and pretend to be helping Mr Thompson or something?" I asked and Ashton chuckled.
"I could hide in the library." He said, "Then join you for lunch?"
I hummed and nodded, "I could skip next lesson and say I have a free period and go with you." I said and Ashton nodded softly.
***
At lunch time, Louis and Lauren were confused as to why Ashton was with me as we walked in to the canteen. We sat at our table and Ashton pulled me in to his lap as I opened my lunchbox, I had pasta and tuna that Ashton made me the night before. I grabbed my fork and stabbed my pasta, eating the goodness. I loved Ashton's pasta, that's all he'd ever cooked for me. He was good at it too.
Ashton rested his chin on my shoulder and opened his mouth, "I want some, feed me please." He mumbled and I lifted the fork to his mouth and he ate the food.
"Where's Cal and Mike and why is Ash here?" Louis finally asked. "What haven't we been told?"
"Well Michael's Aunt and Uncle contacted the orphanage and they called Liz so he went to meet them. Cal went with him, taking Alex too." Ashton's explained and Louis' brows furrowed.
"But I thought he had no family?" He asked.
"He lost his parents, and his aunt and uncle moved away to America." I told them, Michael had told me everything he knew about his family. Well all that he knew considering that his parents died when he was only six. "They apparently found Michael."
"Oh, when did he leave?" Lou asked.
"In the middle of PE." Ashton said.
"Well we can see him after school right?" I asked Ashton and he nodded.
Then a small kid approached our table, he looked like he was in year seven, and I smiled at him politely. He stood awkward at the end of the table before he pulled an envelope from behind his back and handed it to me. "Oh, thank you." I said.
"I'm sorry about what happened to you." He said before walking away quickly and out of the canteen.
Everyone stared as I opened the envelope. Inside was a card with the words, 'with sympathy' on the front in cursive writing. I opened the card and read the inside.
To Luke,
I'm sorry about you losing your baby, my mum says that it's a terrible thing. I hope you're happy again soon.
From Patrick
I frowned at it and Ashton read over my shoulder and kissed my neck. "I think it's time you went home, you need to rest. I don't want you stressed." Ashton mumbled to me.
I nodded, "I need to get some flowers from the heads office first." I told him and Ashton nodded. I put my food in my bag along with the card and picked up my bag. I said bye to my friends before we left to the heads office and he was on the phone when Ashton and I entered after knocking. He waved us in and I saw my flowers in some water, still in the clear wrapping. The head picked up the flowers, still on his phone, and handed them to me.
I thanked him quietly before leaving.
We walked to the front office before Ashton went to the receptionist. "Is it okay if Luke goes home?" Ashton asked, as I stood to the side.
"Is he sick?" She asked.
"No." Ashton said, "He needs to go home, he's stressed."
"A lot of people are stressed, he has to stay and if you're not a pupil you need to leave." She said, but then Ashton leaned a little closer to her and said something.
"Luke has lost his baby, he needs to go home and rest up because he's stressed out and I want to take him home and look after him. Either way he's coming home with me." Ashton said before he turned to me and took the flowers from me, his other hand taking mine and pulling me out the front doors of the school. Nobody followed as we got to my car and we drove to my mums house.
I knocked on the door, flowers in hand and mum answered. "They're here." She said and let us in. "Why aren't you at school?" She asked.
"I was being given sympathy cards and flowers." I said, "Can you put these in some water?" I asked her and she nodded.
We walked inside and to the living room and I noticed the small kid playing with Alex, Calum playing too. Calum looked up at us when we entered and he smiled, standing up. He came over to us, "Michael and I came here and his aunt and uncle were here already with their kid." He jabbed his thumb back at the four year old boy. "He's Michael's cousin, his name in Eric."
"Where's Mike?" I asked.
"In the back garden talking to them." Cal said.
Mum took the flowers from me and we sat on the sofa. The kid, Eric, was playing with Lego and Alex kept trying to eat it but thankfully Eric pulled it out of his fingers and used the bricks instead for his house. After a while I heard the back door shut and then Michael came in, tear stains on his cheeks and two people following behind.
Michael hugged me as I stood up, "You okay?" I asked and he nodded smiling.
He pulled away before motioning to his family, "This is my aunt Bri and Uncle Ian." I smiled at the smile on Michael's face because he just looked so happy. He had a family again.
***
Michael and Calum we're going out for dinner with Bri and Ian and we were looking after Alex at home as he needed to go to bed and eat and have a bath.
I was currently giving Alex a bath and he was giggling as I styled his hair in to a Mohawk and Ashton sat on the toilet lid, filming us on his phone. I washed the soap from my hands in the water before tickling Alex and he giggled cutely.
Ashton came to my side and he kneeled down, his phone away and he pulled me in to his lap, continuing to play with Alex. He continued to squirm and giggle and along with squeals of excitement. Ashton kissed my neck softly and I looked up at him, "You okay?" I asked.
Ashton nodded, "Thinking about you."
"What about me?" I questioned, washing the soap out of Alex's hair. I put the conditioner in as Ashton answered me and I nearly choked at his answer.
"About how much I want to make love to you tonight." I blushed and Ashton kissed my cheek. "I-I think I'm ready again."
I smiled and pressed my hands to his cheeks and kissing his lips softly. "Yeah, I'd like that."
"We'll get Alex in bed first yeah?" I nodded.
It was already six o'clock and time for Alex to go to bed, he'd been fed when we had our food and it was nice to spend time with my boyfriend and the small kid. I washed Alex's hair out before getting him out of the bath, wrapping him up in one of my pink towels. Ashton and I took him to Michael's bedroom and I laid him on the bed, "Can you get a nappy and stuff please?" I asked Ashton, drying Alex off.
Ashton grabbed a nappy and powder along with nappy cream and I let Ashton do it himself as he didn't mind. I put him in to some pyjamas that I'd brought when he was first born before picking him up and kissing his forehead. Ashton did the same, kissing me also and Alex made a cooing sound before I placed him in his crib. I shut the curtain as it was starting to get dark, before I heard the mobile turn on and start to play soft music, the mobile spinning around the rockets hip and stars spinning.
Ashton took my hand in his before he pulled me out of the bedroom, closing the door before he took me to our room. As soon as our door was closed Ashton lifted me up by my thighs and in to his arms, "Puberty is hitting you hard, you're getting too tall for me to carry." Ashton smiled and I shook my head.
"Don't talk." I whispered kissing his lips and Ashton lay us on the bed. Ashton smiled in to the kiss.
"I wanna talk to you while we make love, it feels more natural." Ashton giggled, "I like telling you how good you're making me feel and how much I love you. I like telling you how beautiful you are underneath me or riding me, when you're sweaty and fucked out and messy and covered in my come."
I smiled and pecked his lips. "You're so fucking stupidly amazing."
And Ashton made love to me, leaving me a glowing mess, all tangled limbs with the love of my life.