Title: When Boredom Strikes
Pairing: OT5, Jongin/Kyungsoo, Jongin/Sehun, Chanyeol/Baekhyun
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy
Warnings: Sexual Themes, Cursing, Gross everywhere
Summary: Junmyeon is not home and the rest of EXO-K play Truth or Dare because they're just bored and there's an empty bottle of soju.
*
"Ugh, your hand fucking stinks," Jongin groans, yanking Sehun's hand away from his face. He scrunches his nose as he buries his head into the LINE pillow some fans gave him last fansigning event.
"What did you touch by the way? It smells like shit, ugh. Gross!"
"I scratched my itchy butt." Sehun shrugs, giving the dancer a deadpan look. "Wanna smell the other one?"
"No, thanks." Jongin gets back to his business pretending to be asleep.
"What are you guys doing?" Baekhyun asks, sitting beside the youngest with a wide smile plastered across his face. Sehun reciprocates his smile.
"Nothing. Jongin here is just dozing off like a lazy pig he is, and me, I'm just enjoying myself."
There's a hey! from Jongin who manages to kick Sehun, but Sehun is quick to threaten him with his stinky hand. Jongin shuts up after that.
"Well, that's boring." Baekhyun whines, rolling his eyes. "I want to have some fun."
"You're always having fun. Aren't you getting tired of it," Kyungsoo, who just gotten out of the bedroom says as he sits beside the couch to where Jongin is lying. He pats the younger's butt, earning a sensual moan from Jongin.
"Fuck, did I just hear you moan?"
"I said Awww, it's not a moan!"
"You said Ahhh, don't fool me."
"No, he said Ugghh, not Ahhh." Sehun raises an eyebrow.
"Ugghh, Ahhh, Awww. It's all the same."
"Ahhh is different from Uggh, dumabass."
"Whatever."
"AHHH... UGHHH..."
"Awww..."
"Fuck."
Baekhyun slaps his forehead, cringing his whole face. "Can you please stop that? It's fucking disgusting."
"Not as disgusting as your instavid on a massaging chair," Chanyeol teases, smirking, as he plops himself on the couch beside Baekhyun.
Baekhyun glares at him. Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows. "Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!"
Sehun laughs, slapping Kyungsoo's thigh beside him. "Well, that's the real moan!"
"Chanyeol-hyung sounded like an expert," Jongin adds. "But Baekhyun's still the best."
"It's not intended, okay? It's just that, it feels so good!" Baekhyun blushes. "You should try it sometimes."
"What, the massage or the moan?"
"Fuck you, Chanyeol. I'm unfollowing you on Instagram."
"Then I'm unfriending you on Facebook!"
"Go ahead, I'm unfollowing you on Twitter."
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. "Wait. You guys have Facebook and Twitter?"
Chanyeol grins, Baekhyun shrugs.
"We forgot the password."
Kyungsoo regrets why he bothered to ask. Sehun snickers, scrolling the comment feeds on Instagram on Baekhyun's post.
"Oh. I found something interesting."
Jongin lifts his head, getting up instead on the couch as he peers over Sehun's shoulder. "What is it?"
"Fans thought Chanyeol-hyung's blowing Baekhyun on a massaging chair."
"The fuck!?" Chanyeol, with pure disgust and horror all over his face, says. Baekhyun shakes his head in mortification.
"Well, are you not?" Kyungsoo and Jongin ask altogether.
"Seriously, guys!?"
Baekhyun crosses his arms. "I'd rather put my dick on a donut's hole than Chanyeol's filthy mouth."
"I'd rather suck a banana than your dick."
"I didn't know those are your kinks." Sehun grins ear-to-ear. "Sweet."
"Shit. I think I'm going to throw up," Kyungsoo mutters as he abandons the banana he is eating with a scowl on his face. He also throws on the floor the chocolate donut he is holding.
Jongin pats his back. "There, there, there. How about yoghurt, do you want yoghurt?"
"It looks like cum, don't make him drink that."
Kyungsoo hits Baekhyun's head with the remote contol.
*
"Hey guys, I found Soju!"
Sehun's eyes enlarge. "Where the fuck did you get that?
"You're dead meat if Junmyeon-hyung finds out," Jongin says, frowning.
"Oh, come on," Baekhyun waves them off. "It's empty, okay? Relax."
"So what are you going to do with an empty bottle of booze?"
Both Jongin and Sehun follow Baekhyun to the living room. Baekhyun sits on the floor crossed-legs. "We're going to play Truth or Dare."
"That is the dumbest thing I heard from you." Sehun sighs.
"This is fun! Come on, get your asses here and join me!"
Bored and lethargic, the two follow their hyung, sitting on the floor in front of an enthusiastic Baekhyun.
"So, okay. I'll spin this bottle, and whoever of you--"
"Yeah, yeah we already know. Just get on with it." Sehun waves his hand dismissively. Jongin yawns.
"You're playing without us?" Chanyeol asks with a mock hurt in his face. "I thought we're friends here!"
"Are you going to whine there forever or place your ass on the floor?"
Chanyeol scoffs, positioning between Sehun and Jongin while Kyungsoo sits beside Baekhyun like he really has no choice at all. Baekhyun winks at him.
"So who will spin first?" Baekhyun asks, smiling brightly.
"Me! Me! Me!" Chanyeol raises his hand like a kid in the kindergarten. Sehun and Jongin pretend they don't know him.
"Okay! Chanyeol is the first! Good luck."
Chanyeol holds the bottle and spins it to the right. All of them follow the direction to where the tip of the bottle will stop.
It stops on Kyungsoo.
Chanyeol grins.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Truth."
Baekhyun, Sehun and Chanyeol cheer loudly as they clap their hands like a seal.
"You're brave, huh? Hmm, I wonder what question will I ask you." Chanyeol scratches his chin. Baekhyun snickers, pulling Chanyeol's ear with him as well as Sehun's head.
Jongin and Kyungsoo just stare at them.
"Okay, here's the question," Baekhyun whispers, his eyes glinting, as he murmurs his idea. Chanyeol raises an eyebrow while Sehun looks unconvinced.
"That's it?" Sehun asks.
"Yeah." Baekhyun shrugs. "Do you have something in mind?"
"No."
Chanyeol unhuddles from their mini discussion, grinning back at Kyungsoo.
"Okay, Kyungsoo. I'll repeat my question. Truth or Dare?"
"Truth."
"Oh, he's really tough!" Baekhyun chimes.
Chanyeol clears his throat. "Are you gay?"
Silence.
Kyungsoo blinks. "What?"
"Are you gay?"
Jongin turns to look at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows.
"What kind of a fucking question is that?"
"Just answer the damn question, Soo." Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows. "Yes or no?"
Kyungsoo looks at him, emotionless. "No."
Another silence. Jongin looks away, a little bit of sadness reflected on his eyes.
"Oh my god, he's fucking serious!" Chanyeol flails his arms in the air. "I wasted a question!"
"Are you sure!?" Baekhyun asks, not convinced of the singer's answer. Kyungsoo sighs.
"Yes, I'm sure. I'm not gay. Give me that." He grabs the bottle. "My turn."
Kyungsoo rotates the bottle. It stops on Jongin.
Jongin startles. Chanyeol and Baekhyun grins. Sehun frowns.
"Truth or Dare, Jongin?"
Jongin scratches his head. "Uhm. Truth."
"Hah! He said truth!" Baekhyun points at Jongin like he's the most ridiculous thing on earth. Chanyeol laughs.
"Kyungsoo, ask Jongin if he likes you or not!" Chanyeol whispers into Kyungsoo's ear that some of his saliva are entering Kyungsoo's earlobe. Kyungsoo pushes him away.
"Fuck, go away."
"I just want to help." Chanyeol pouts.
Kyungsoo turns to Jongin. "What will I ask you, anyway?"
"I don't know. Something you want to know?"
"But I already know all about you."
"Are you sure?" Jongin raises an eyebrow. Kyungsoo squints his eyes.
"Fine." Kyungsoo sighs. "Do you like Sehun?"
Jongin raises an eyebrow in disbelief. "W-what?"
"Do you like Sehun?"
Baekhyun and Chanyeol inches their faces close to Jongin as if inspecting his whole personality. Sehun stays quiet, looking elsewhere instead of Jongin.
"Why don't you answer, Kai?" Chanyeol smirks, biting his lower lip. "Do you like him?"
"Ohohoho, he's not speaking, yeah? Silence means yes!" Baekhyun shouts, tilting his head to the right and left.
"What the fuck, of course I like him--"
"Oh! He admitted it! He admitted it!"
Jongin slaps his forehead. "Ugh. Fuck. That's not what I--"
"That's enough. Give him the damn bottle." Sehun says, still avering his eyes. He clears his throat, hiding the little blush on his cheeks.
Kyungsoo passes the bottle to Jongin silently. Jongin gets it, spinning it on the floor.
It pauses on Baekhyun. Jongin and Chanyeol smirks. Baekhyun shrugs his shoulders.
"Truth or--"
"DARE." Baekhyun crosses his arms over his chest confindently.
Jongin hums. "I dare you to--"
Before Jongin can say something, Kyungsoo tugs Jongin's neck in level with his mouth to whisper something into his ear. Sehun glances at them.
"What the fuck, Kyungsoo?"
"Just make him do it."
Baekhyun yawns. "Faster please."
Jongin scoffs at him. "I dare you to.."
"What?"
"I dare you to make out with Chanyeol."
Sehun laughs obnoxiously loud as well as Kyungsoo. Jongin grins maniacally while Chanyeol gives him a scandalized look.
"Fuck, Jongin. Should this has really something to do with him!?" Baekhyun points at the dumb giant. "I am not fucking putting my lips in this peasant's dirty mouth, it's like, eew?"
"Hey! My mouth is not dirty!"
Jongin arches an eyebrow. "Oh, chickening out now are we, Byun?"
"He's backing away on a challenge." Kyungsoo crosses his arms, an evil smile forming into his lips. "Loser."
Baekhyun glares at them. Chanyeol grimaces.
"Don't do it if you don't want to."
"Who said I don't want to?"
And in no time, Baekhyun tugs Chanyeol's collar to his face and crashes their lips together for a kiss. Chanyeol's eyes grow big, flailing his arms awkwardly in the air as Baekhyun shoves his tongue down to his throat.
The three gasp, shocked of what they are witnessing right now. Sehun clamps his hanging mouth while Jongin just stares awestruck at Baekhyun pushing Chanyeol on the floor, Chanyeol kissing him back as they make out furiously and sloppily.
"Fuck. That's hot." Kyungsoo says, watching the two amusedly.
"Okay, that's enough. That's enough!" Jongin shoves them away. He pushes Baekhyun and Chanyeol's chest apart, covering their wet mouths with his palm.
"What happened? Where am I? Who am I? What did I do?" Chanyeol asks the members as he crawls back to his previous position. Baekhyun wipes off the saliva by the back of his hand.
"You two just made out." Jongin explains.
"Oh, yeah. Right." Chanyeol blushes.
"You fucking used my toothpaste."
"I like your toothpaste."
"Whatever." Baekhyun gets the bottle, spinning it on the floor. "My turn!"
It stops on Sehun.
"Truth or Dare, Hunnie?"
"Dare." Sehun keeps his pokerface, clearing his throat. "Will I.. make out with someone, too?"
Chanyeol covers his mouth, horrified while Baekhyun ponders to himself. Sehun hopefully looks at Jongin once who just wants to go back to sleep.
Baekhyun grins. "I dare you to--"
"What?"
"Strip in front of us."
"WHAT."
"Get naked." Baekhyun gestures Sehun's body head to toe. "Take off your clothes."
"What the actual fuck?" Sehun puts a hand on his hips. "Why would I do that?"
"Because it's a dare, Sehun. Just do it."
"It's not like we haven't seen each other's bodies yet," Chanyeol mumbles, waving a dismissive hand.
"He's got the biggest dick in EXO," Kyungsoo states as a-matter-of-factly.
"And Chanyeol's got the smallest," Baekhyun adds, stifling a laughter. Chanyeol covers his crotch with his palm.
"Fine. I'll do it but don't look," Sehun says, already taking off his shirt. He tosses it on the couch. The members cover their eyes, peeking into the small hole between their index and middle finger.
"The pants." Baekhyun instructs.
Sehun heaves a sigh, unbluckling his pants and pushing it down so that he can kick it somewhere on the floor.
"Oohh. Playboy," Chanyeol singsongs, wearing a shit-eating grin.
"Shit, that's my fucking underwear," Jongin says, pointing at Sehun's briefs that he almost poked Sehun's balls if not for Baekhyun's quick reflex.
"Don't touch the art," Baekhyun says as he wiggles his eyebrows.
"Okay. Is this fine now?" Sehun asks, hugging his bare self.
"How about the briefs? Mind taking that thing off?"
Wordlessly, Sehun tugs down his last article of clothing, sliding it to his milky thighs before discarding it somewhere on the floor. He crosses his arms over his chest.
"Now, is this passable?"
Baekhyun and Chanyeol just stares at Sehun's glory, Jongin clears his throat while Kyungsoo simply doesn't care since he's not gay anyway.
"Holy shit, that's--"
"--a monster."
"I thought's it's just six--"
"It's an eight," Sehun says huffing air under his breath. "Get a ruler."
"Can I touch the art?"
"No, Baekhyun."
"It's fucking cute."
"My dick is not cute, it's manly."
Kyungsoo sniggers. "Mine is manlier."
Jongin coughs, turning his back away as he reaches for something on the couch. Sehun's eyes follow him.
"Here," Jongin says, shoving the LINE pillow straight to Sehun's crotch to cover Sehun's dick. "Hide your dick. It's cold here."
"Awww, isn't Jonginnie so thoughtful?" Chanyeol coos, earning a glare from the dancer.
Sehun averts his eyes, rubbing Jongin's pillow against his crotch. "Thanks."
"It's your turn now, Sehun. Since Chanyeol's the one who's only left, just ask him truth or dare," Baekhyun says.
"Truth or Dare, hyung?"
"Dare."
"No making out, please."
"And no stripping."
"Okay." Sehun squints his eyes. "I want you to..."
Chanyeol drums his fingers impatiently. "Me to...?"
"Pick your nose and eat your booger."
Baekhyun and Jongin break into a booming laughter as they slap their own thighs. Chanyeol wants to cry.
"HAHAHAHAHA. Fuck, that's-- hahahaha!"
"Fucking gross!"
"Just like what you do as usual," Sehun teases, arching an eyebrow. "In private."
Flustered, Chanyeol hides the redness of his face as he ducks down his head low. Baekhyun nudges him on the ribs.
"What are you waiting for, do it."
Chanyeol gulps, everybody is staring at him as he puts his index finger inside his nostrils. He deepens it, wiggling his finger into the hole.
"Oh my god--" Jongin gasps.
"I can't look!" Baekhyun yells covering his eyes with his palm.
"To think that I just made out with that creature, ugh!"
"Okay. Now take it out," Sehun says, folding his arms over his chest.
"Like right now?"
"Yes. Like right now."
"Uhm." Chanyeol feels his throat going dry. "Now?"
"Oh god," Kyungsoo mumbles, rolling his eyes dramatically. "What's with this shit."
"Easy... easy..." Sehun says, guiding Chanyeol's hand away from his nose. "Okay, take it out!"
Chanyeol takes his finger out.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT--"
"IS THAT THING A BOOGER--"
"--or a poop."
Kyungsoo's stomach coils like he wants throw up. Baekhyun wants to die, regretting why he opened his eyes only to see a big and green slimy ball of booger coated on Chanyeol's index finger.
"That is so fucking disgusting," Jongin scrunches his face in utter horror.
"See. I told you." Chanyeol smlies sheepishly.
"You never told us anything!!!" Baekhyun screams, inching away from Chanyeol. "Go wash your hand, you dirty shithead!"
"Wait! The dare isn't done yet," Sehun says, smirking. "He's not finished yet."
"OH MY GOD."
"NO. NO. NO. NO--"
"Yes."
"So I'm going to eat this?" Chanyeol asks like it's the normal question to say.
"Fuck. I think I'm going to puke," Kyungsoo mutters as he clamps his mouth. Jongin pats his back lovingly.
"EAT IT." Sehun orders. "NOW."
Chanyeol, oh so slowly, brings his finger close to his awaiting mouth, his pink tongue poking out to meet the green thing. Baekhyun scrunches his whole face as he watches the scene like it's going slow motion. Chanyeol licks his lips.
"Nooooooo---" Jongin says, stretching his hand in attempt to stop Chanyeol.
"Fuuuuuuck----"
"GRRROOOOSS!"
Chanyeol opens his mouth wider, putting his finger inside his parted mouth as he darts his tongue out to lick--
.
.
"GUYS, I'M BACK!!!"
All turn their heads towards the door. Junmyeon gives them a wide smile, but it quickly falters when he sees Sehun naked.
"SEHUN!"
"Why?"
"Why are you naked!?" Junmyeon asks, furrowing his eyebrows angrily. "Go get dressed!"
"Y-yes, hyung." Sehun scurries into his room, covering his dick with the pillow and his ass with his palm.
"And you, Baekhyun, why are you holding a bottle of Soju!?"
"It's empty!"
"Take that back in the kitchen! Now!"
Baekhyun nods, sighing. "Okay."
"Why is Jongin sleeping on the floor!?" Junmyeon asks Kyungsoo, pointing at Jongin who's sprawled on the floor as he hugs his arms.
"I don't know, maybe he's--"
"Take him to the bedroom. If he gets sick again, it's another problem!"
Kyungsoo gently wakes Jongin up, telling him to stand up and sleep on the bed instead. Jongin nods, rubbing his eyes as Kyungsoo guides him the way.
Junmyeon turns to look at Chanyeol who's only left sitting on the floor. Junmyeon squints his eyes, looking at the rapper suspiciously.
"What?" Chanyeol asks.
"Why are you sucking your finger?"
Chanyeol smiles. "It's my new hobby?"
*
END
.
.
.
"Here's your pillow."
"Uhm, you can... take it. I don't really mind."
"But it's your favorite pillow."
"Oh, yeah. Right. Thanks.."
"Aren't you going to use it?"
"Huh? Oh. Maybe later.. I'm not yet sleepy."
"JONGIN! HERE'S YOUR MILK, SLEEP NOW!"
*
"Don't fucking get near me, you disgusting dumbprick."
"But I want to cuddle..."
"Here. Go cuddle with this LINE pillow. You can have this."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You can hug and kiss it all you want."
"Thanks, Baekhyun!"