// FIVE //
The hot water pours down my frowned face and I let it take me over. I let the warmth of it all engulf me and travel my body. I let it course through every part of me and use every crook and fold of my body as its own river.
"May, do you need much longer? We don't have more than half an hour."
Cass' voice booms from outside the bathroom and I yell back from under the shower.
"Give me 10. I'll be done soon."
The lack of any response signals me that she heard and she has no objection.
My shower is where I feel the strongest. It's weird to say this about yourself when you're naked and wet and if any threat were to come your way, you'd obviously be most insecure.
However, I think that for one, it's highly unlikely. Two, if ever I were to get attacked in the shower, confidence is the most lethal weapon and speed is the best strategy. If I'm not afraid of showing my body, I can lunge for a towel or clothes. Whether to cover yourself up or choke the attacker, that's up to the person.
I hold my body weight on my arm that I firmly have placed on the wall in front of me. I face the direction of the shower head, making sure every drop of water passes by my skin before hitting the ground and disappearing in the drain. Because water makes me feel alive and it's when I'm covered by it completely that I feel like me.
I make sure I wash everything first, very thoroughly, and then I stand under the water. I think, I sing, I talk, occasionally only, to answer 'someone' the way I really wanted to, to fake interview myself or to make a fake speech about something.
Every once in a while, it's fine to hope and dream and imagine, I guess. I think everyone does it and maybe, they should do it.
Cass knocks on the door to let me know that my 10 minutes have passed and that any minute now, I should come out. I push away the shower curtain. I stretch out to hit the bathroom wall for her to hear. That lets her know that I need a bit more time.
I don't know how I can trust Darius. He probably has a lot of trouble believing that my family and I aren't who he's told we are, but he really was on that train to kill me and I have to believe that he was momentarily confused and conssumed by his orders. It's not like he caught me in the act of placing a bomb in the university and the only thing that stopped me was a reoccuring dream of the person witnessing my crime, or in his case, where the person was the victim.
I close the water and wait for it to be drained out of the tub. I clean whatever foam is left from the shampoo on the floor and the walls before walking out. I hold myself steady in the fear of slipping. I grab the white towel I left on the counter by the sink and wrap it around me.
I stare at my face in the mirror as I do so. There's something so foreign, so strange and unlike May that unfolds. I can't help, but think everything in Lugano, since I've come, has changed me. The train, Cass, the school, Darius and all the chaos regarding us both. I need to keep myself focused on school and orientation. I have only two days left. I know that I have these two days to figure everything out with Darius, but it's also to figure out my future at this school. I might have picked a major and applied with that in mind, but I need to be more informed. I need to be more than ready because I cannot afford surprises.
I dry my hair, brush it, straighten it and put it in a pony tail. I put a bit of makeup to look decent and like less of a zombie. I dry the excess water on my body before slipping every part of my outfit on. I then hang the wet towel and grab my dirty clothes.
"Is there a laundry room in a hotel?" I ask Cass as I walk out of the bathroom.
"I highly doubt it," she says not taking her eyes off CNN's Anderson Cooper talking with a Harvard professor. She's comfortably laying on the bed with an arm behind her head. "But I think there's a laundromat down the street. If we run out of clothes for the next two days, we'll go there."
I throw my clothes in the drawer we treat as the hamper of the room.
"Look at him," she says poiting at the TV in awe. "The dude is a whopping 48 year old with crystal white hair, but his blue eyes and smile are all I see."
I can't help but laugh. I know that Cooper is good looking, but I think that Cass is in love with him.
"Did you see that picture of him carrying a kid away from a shooting? I think that's the moment I knew I was in love."
I clean up a little around the room, listening to Cass go on, reacting with smiles and occasional laughs.
"So, do we leave? We can pick up a small breakfast in the coffee shop."
"Okay," she mumbles pushing herself off the bed. "I can't stand staring at my husband and not have him look me in the eye when I talk to him."
At that comment, I burst into laughter. It takes a while, but my chest starts burning and my diaphragm is demanding for a stop, but once Cass starts laughing at herself too, we both cannot stop.
"You're," I start between laughs. "You're... you're freaking ridiculous."
We push each other and walk to the door, almost eyes closed from the laughing. I grab her purse and she takes mine. We look at each other confused, start laughing again and exchange our bags back.
We stumble down the hall to the elevator like a couple of drunken teens, but little do the middle aged couple and the old judgemental lady know that for the first times, they have decided to witness teens having a great time without drugs, alcohol and technology.
My biggest pet peeves are sentences that start with 'In my day... ', 'Kids these days... ' and 'You're tired of going to school?".
I cannot stand the people who say them and I have noticed they tend to be in the same age range.
Once we're in the lobby, we make sure to be somewhat silent and once outside, we make our way to the coffee shop before going to FU.
"So," Cass starts munching on her oatmeal muffin. "What was all that excessive thinking going in the shower? Should I assume a certain Darius was involved?"
"I guess," I mumble. I take a sip of my hot coffee rejoicing me on this windy and cloudy day. "I don't know what to do. To trust him or to prove to him that he can trust me? Is it bad to be meeting with these people that are most likely criminals? Everything is freaking me out and tiring me, more so than my original plan for Lugano which was to visit Franklin for a few days and go back. I thought my stress would concern my academic future, not if I'll live or not."
I pause for a few seconds not knowing if Cass could understand. I think I know her enough to think she does, but there are still doubts.
"I just don't know what to do, Cass."
"Of course, you don't. "
I look at her, hoping that this is going somewhere, because it definitely isn't helping.
"Honey, this situation is awful. It's surreal. This will define your character in more ways than exaggerated showering times, okay? Trust, me."
I can't help, but chuckle a bit. I can't believe how great friends we've become in just two days, or wait, has it been three? My time keeping has taken a great hit since I've arrived.
"Welcome to Franklin. Do you need a tour guide?" A peppy girl with ginger braids asks us once we step foot on campus. She has a name tag reading 'Emilia' and a university t-shirt covering her white cami underneath, visible by the straps. Her smile would probably blind a 90 year old across the street.
"No, we're fine. This is our second day visiting."
"Oh, how exciting how are you liking it here?"
"I love Franklin," Cass exclaims.
"It's Franklin," she says in a french accent, without pronouncing the n.
"Okay, bye."
Cass, irritated, locks her fingers around my arm and pulls me inside the school.
"My favourite expression is 'Potato, potahto'. Did you know?"
"No," I start, confused. "Why does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, I wanted to say it to that Emilia girl with her pronunciation of Franklin, but I remembered that I learned the expression from Phoebe in Friends."
"I'm still not seeing the problem, Cass."
"My mom always said that I was like her and I don't want that. Repeating her expressions would just prove it. I want to be me, not a character from a popular TV show."
By the end of the sentence, she has her index in my face and her spit in my eye and the look of a crazy person.
"I'm unique and original and I want to stay that way."
"Cass, you're unlike anyone I've ever seen. Your mom probably compares you to her not because you're the same, but because both of you are so unlike anyone. Both of you are so unique and special."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Plus, the blonde hair might help too, but who cares."
She sighs while she plays with her ring, but when she wakes up from her daze and starts shaking her head, I know I've convinced her of her value. I take her in a big hug before we continue down the hallway.
"Hi, girls," the Psychology teacher from the other day calls out approaching us from down the hall. "May and Cass, correct?"
"Hi, Mr. Keller. How are you?"
"Great, great. A bit tired, but I actually love orientation week, so it's not horrible."
"Wow, you do?" Cass says.
"Yeah. I mean, I don't like dealing with whiny teens freaking out in an exaggerated manner over their future. However, I love interacting with mature young adults who are ready to take a step forward and didn't come to college to take jello shots and to party. You know what I mean?"
"Of course I do," I start amazed by how much I like this teacher. "I loved tutoring in high school, but only when it was a student deserving of my time. I already had no patience, let alone when the kid was a child devil."
He laughs, "oh, I've been there. So Cass, how did orientation go for you? Do you have a major chosen?"
"Well, I've decided that I won't be going for a double or combined which already narrows it down for me. I'm just going to spend the next two days learning about my three choices and then, I'll choose."
"That sounds like a smart way to go. Some people think that just because a double is impressive it's the way to go, but you have to be mature enough to know if you can handle such a thing or not. Even if you can, I think you should know if you want that for yourself. I'm impressed, Cass."
"Thank you, sir. I just hope I can figure this out in time. We really can't stay longer than we've planned for."
"Why not?" He says changing his briefcase to the other hand.
"Well, May and I are from cities very far from Lugano and we weren't expecting to stay more than a day. We luckily had an extra pair of clothes each and enough money for a few nights at a cheap hotel, but if we need more tours and orientation meetings, we might run out of clothes and money."
"Oh, girls, why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"We both really aren't the type to ask for help. We never meant for anyone to find out," I say this time.
"But, I can help. Look, I can find you an empty dorm and lend it to you for free and in every dorm there are a couple of school shirts and sweaters. They might be a little uncomfortable for you to wear in this weather, but they're still extra clothes. Plus, there are laundry rooms."
"Mr. Keller, you really don't need to do this," I exclaim.
"It would be my pleasure. Here, follow me."
With a glance, we both decide to follow him. He isn't a stranger, it's in a school so, the only danger is lonely drunk guys, which we solve with locking the door, and it's free. I text my mom the news and she seems very happy so technically, okay with it all.
We wait outside an office Mr. Keller went into. If the man inside really is the man whom the office belongs to, Keller is trying to get the principal to agree to our stay.
He walks out with a big smile on his face. He raises his hand and from it, dangle two keys.
Cass screams of joy and I silently stare, ecstatic. I shake his hand.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Keller."
"Oh, who cares about student-teacher rules anyway," Cass says as she throws herself on him and hugs Keller. "THANK YOU," she yells before pulling me out of the waiting room outside the office with her.
"You're going a bit crazy, darling."
"OH, YES."
She keeps skipping and squealing happy thoughts on her way out. We practically run to the hotel and clean it out AND check out in less than 35 minutes.
***
"Okay, girls. Settled in?"
Cass and I, sitting on her bed, turn towards Mr. Keller who came and checked up on us.
After we brought our stuff to the school, we put them in the room and headed off to orientation for a few hours. Afterwards, we came back in our room and fixed everything up. It's getting closer and closer to the time of my meeting, though, with that guy I haven't met and I am quite nervous.
Going back to the room, it's actually lovely. It makes me think about how it will feel like when I'll be having one of my own in a year or so.
When I walk in the door, facing me is a very large window that has a view of the park. Plenty of trees and a stream, it's quite beautiful. Then, on my left, are our beds. I took the one by the window. Between the first wall and Cass' bed is a desk and between both our beds, a nightstand. Finally, by my right, is a very big built-in wardrobe that takes almost all of the lenght of the wall. Speaking of walls, they are a jordy blue.
"Yes, we love it, Mr. Keller," Cass says in a surprisingly adequate and appropriate manner. I can't help, but look at her and send a smirk to which she answers with a death glare.
"Well, that's good news. Girls, you don't have more than two weeks here, okay? I guess you might want to visit Lugano and go out sometimes so I managed to get you extra time. The director spoke with both your parents and explained everything already."
"Wow, that's great, Mr. Keller," I say folding clothes. "Thank you so much."
"It's my pleasure. So you're done with the meetings today?"
"Oh, yes," Cass exclaims rolling her 'oh' and sounding like Santa.
"Ho-ho-ho," I mumble mocking her. I get off the bed to put a couple of shirts in a drawer. She takes the oppurtunity to throw a shirt at me. I turn around to see Mr. Keller turning his head back to us, so he was looking away when she threw it. She really did take the oppurtunity. I raise my right eyebrow and give her a death glare with pursed lips.
"So, I'm heading off as well. If you ever need to contact me, I have a school number and a school e-mail. You can contact those. Although, the school number can only reach me when I'm here, okay?"
Cass stares at the card he gives her before saying, "thank you so much, Mr. Keller."
Her voice was too much of a sultry one.
"Okay, then. Bye."
Mr. Keller leaves the doorframe too quickly for it to be a normal reaction. He either fears Cass or feels like he likes her so he's escaping her to not complicate things.
My thoughts are interrupted by Cass' constant mumbling.
"I'm going to ignore it. I will ignore it. He doesn't like me. He doesn't hate me. I don't like him. He's a teacher. Everything is fine. I'm going to be fine. Think of Darius. He's a fine piece of ass. Oh, no, he's May's. Oh, damn. The owner hears."
She looks at me almost scared and I decide to take advantage of it. I stomp my foot in front of me and yell. She shrieks and jumps onto her bed.
"Oh my God," I start laughing, slipping down the wardrobe frame. Soon, I'm on the floor, on my side, laughing and Cass is giggling, but tries to hide it because she has to be mad at me now.
"Hey, it's your phone, May."
I take deep breaths and wipe my tears away. I get up and reach for my phone on the desk.
Darius' name is bright and white on the screen. I answer anxious, seeing that the time is 3h35. My meeting is at four.
"Hi, Darius."
"Hey, May. Are you ready? I'll come by the hotel to get you."
"I'm actually at the university. Can you come see me here?"
"Yeah, I can. Where is the meeting though?"
"It's a little out of the city. It's a weird restaurant. I have the exact address."
"Okay, well we have no choice, but to go. So, I'll see you there in a few minutes. Come outside, I'm almost there."
"Okay, I'll be out."
"So, is there something wrong?" Cass asks once I hang up the phone.
"No, he just wanted to know if I was ready and where to meet me. You remember our code, right?"
I gave the address to Cass as well, so she can be a back up. If something goes wrong, I'll call her and hang up after one ring. Then, she'll know to call the police and, maybe, if she judges useful, my parents.
"Okay, I'll see you soon, Cass."
She hugs me for a very long time before letting go.
"I'll be fine," I say reassuring her before I leave the room quite nervous myself.
Darius texts me that he's outside with a cab waiting for me. I quickly look for the text the mystery man sent me with the exact address.
I walk out, having a surprisingly cold breeze hit me, and continue towards the car Darius is waiting by, leaning on the door.
He goes back in once he sees me approach. I half jog, half run to the car and almost jump in. I give the driver the address. He gives me a suspicious look, but doesn't say a word and turns around. When he goes off, I finally acknowledge Darius.
"Hi."
"Hi," he answers with a hoarse voice.
His eyes are a puffy red and the twitch in his hand is more noticeable than ever, but I don't ask any questions. I don't want to know why for now, because I don't want to feel anything for now.
"Can I see that address again?" The driver asks me. His mustache wiggles with every word so it's hard to take him seriously. I show him the text.
He frowns. "Are you sure? That used to be a restaurant, but it's been empty for years."
Well, that makes sense. He wouldn't want to meet me somewhere public.
"It's, okay. It's the right address."
He continues driving when the light turns green and Darius cannot take his eyes off my phone.
"Is there something wrong, Darius?"
He starts shaking his head, "no, no no. I just am suspicious about the place, but trust me. You'll be safe if my hiding spot is appropriate."
"I know. I just need you to be able to trust me."
"What makes you think I don't?" He says alert. He almost looked like he was sleepwalking before, but it seems that now, I woke him up.
"Nothing makes me think that you don't, but nothing has proven me that you do."
"Okay, understandable, but still, just because of the way we met, doesn't mean that I still am working that way and for that goal. I trust you and I hope you believe me."
I nod hesitant, but somehow certain at the same time. I trust him and he trusts me. Whatever feelings or plans that are hidden in between will determine the end of this.
We both stay silent for the rest of the ride.
***
"Here you go, kids," the man says, waking me up from my daze.
The man taps the meter's screen. I give him the 50$. At first, I think I was able to give the money before Darius realized, but at the last minute, I see his hand leave my purse and I know he left a 50$ bill in there.
A smile can't help, but form on my face.
He stretches an arm out for me to take. I do and smoothly walk out of the cab. The driver then drifts off and leaves us in front of this dump.
"I'll go hide now."
He takes off once I nod.
The bungalow type ex-restaurant has no sign or any dining accessories or furniture whatsoever, from what I can see. I look around. There's only a gas station and a mechanic, but nothing else within at least 15 km. The ground is not asphalt anymore, though debris of it still haunts what used to be the parking area. A lot of sand and dirt has covered it and segments of the ground have grass growing.
I approach the entrance. I push open a wooden door with an opening that used to be occupied by glass. As I saw, there is nothing in the dining area. The floor is covered by a dark brown plywood, but is vacant.
I walk towards the kitchen. There are some appliances, bur no tools or food. The driver was right. This place must have been left unused for years. There are spider webs here and there.
"So, you are the May Rufener he tells me about?"
I swiftly turn around to face a tall, skinny, white boy with freckles and ginger hair. He is wearing a forest green Ralph Lauren polo with beige pants. He has a bag on his side with its strap going across his chest.
"What's your name?"
"I'm Allen. Allen Fulhen."
"Why is it that he wanted us to meet?"
He starts moving his right pointed leg in a circular manner, almost looking like a dance move.
"Because you needed proof of the danger that comes with Darius Elmer. I am it."
I'm taken aback for a few seconds. I unconsciously look for something to lean on. I find a kitchen counter.
"What do you mean 'you're the proof'?"
"You should sit down."
"I'm fine," I answer stubbornly.
He looks at the floor. "Okay," he says almost annoyed.
"Darius was influenced into working for Switzerland Intelligence Agencies. Nothing wrong in that of course, but," he exclaims with emphasis on the the last word.
"He was a part of the FIS organization."
"The organization working against terrorism and such?"
"Exactly. However, he was recruited as a black ops agent, like we hear a lot about in the US, in the CIA. We - Switzerland - have some too, May, and Darius is one of their agents."
"How can you prove that?"
He lifts his shirt and turns around. On his back are scars forming an unidentifiable shape that may not have even been intentional. The air is knocked out of my lungs and all I can do is stare.
"You're telling me he-he did this t-to you?" I say trying not to stutter.
"He did. And I can tell you that it wasn't self defence and you can believe that by my size. I'm not a threat. It was because his boss was threatened by what I do. A boss the government thinks is trustworthy, but is corrupted in more ways than one."
"Why?"
I decide to ask short and simple questions. I want the answers, but elaborating on the question would let him know more than I intend on telling him.
"I was part of a new special program at the Swiss Institute of Technology in Zürich. His boss, whoever he is, had plans and had governmental authority. He was threatened by my project, because it regarded ways to identify hacks in federal systems and new and improved ways to avoid government crimes using technology."
"So what? He tells you to stop the project, you don't and he tries to prove to you that he can kill you if you don't stop it. He uses Darius as a weapon and Darius doesn't reject the order."
"Smart girl. That's exactly it. My lab partner broke her right arm during the fight and feeling didn't come back in it until two months after the cast came off. I had to stop the project and I failed the whole semester because I couldn't start a new one. I was thrown out of the program and now I'm part of a," he fakes a gag. "A regular program."
"I'm sorry about everything that has happened to you," I say, starting to feel annoyed and frustrated. "But you can't prove that Darius was the guy that did this and you can't prove that you aren't actually the bad guy. You can't show me that he actually didn't try to stop you from a project that had nothing to do with what you just said."
"Actually, I can."
He opens his bag. He takes out a recorder and a picture.
"Here is a security camera picture of the day his boss came to my lab and threatened me if I didn't stop the project. He hid his face the whole time with his hood and he knows what he's doing. No security camera has footage of his face. And this, is a recording that I found of Darius speaking with his boss. I'm on my way to show it to police right now."
He plays the recording while I stare at the picture. Anyone could be under that damn hood. Allen does seem scared though. He's either a great actor or I'm in denial.
"We cannot do this in broad day light," says Darius' voice. "His lab partners are witnesses and will get hurt."
"I don't give a damn about who gets hurt as long as my plan doesn't take a hit," his boss' voice appears.
Obviously, he doesn't. I stare at the numbers on the bottom of the picture. A security camera usually has the time and date, but this one has a .jpeg number, like a picture's file has on the computer when it's synced from a standard camera or phone. This isn't a real security camera footage screen shot and I knew this guy wasn't credible.
"You're going to go in that school, Darius, and you are going to show that lab rat that he doesn't mess with me."
A muffled noise takes over before the recording before it's cut. It's all so weird. He found a recording when no evidence was found by police. How and where? He never said he was going to show the picture to police and I know it isn't real. The voices could be played, but I recognize Darius' voice perfectly. And why were they being recorded? Security measures by his boss or spying methods by someone else?
"Thank you for this information, Allen. I'll take it into consideration. But one more thing?"
"Anything," he says quite pleased, putting the evidence in his bag.
"Why do you care? Why do you and your other two friends care so much as to my relationship with Darius?"
"Because we don't want Darius to do what he has done to us to other people."
"Huh," I say incredibly insulted at how he thinks he has fooled me. "Well, thank you. Will I be having a visit by one of your friends again?"
"Not if you stay away from him."
"Well then, it's goodbye."
I leave the kitchen and walk out on the old floor. I start walking down the road as I dial the number for a cab with shaking fingers, not waiting for Darius to show.
***
"Where the hell have you been?"
After I got into the cab, I texted Darius to meet me at my dorm and to make it discreet, because we're watched. He agreed. But this was two hours ago! Now, he shows up at my dorm, casually, as if I have not been panicking for the past hour. Well, as if he would know that.
"I'm sorry. I had things to take care of," he says before taking a long pause. He brings his hand out from behind him. "Plus, I brought food."
I pat down on my bed beside me. Cass walks in the room, from the bathroom. She greets him before closing the curtains and sitting on my bed beside us.
"Did you hear everything Allen said?"
"Yes, I did," he starts as he opens the chinese food take-out box. He takes out chopsticks and I feel intimidated. Cass does the same and now I feel threatened. I can't use chopsticks to save my life. I take a fork, hoping they won't realize.
"And what do you have to say?" Cass says.
"A lot. First, I was late because I met with a friend who works with my boss. He wants to get out of it too, so he's been covering for me so I can figure this all out. We both feel like he's not honest with us. Second, I think that security camera picture was fake."
"I do too," I interrupt. At that, he smiles. "Continue."
"Third, my boss never records any conversation we have so that recorder was planted. And don't you find it odd that he found it? That he had access to my boss' place. It all sounds planned."
"I thought the same thing," I say. "Someone is out to get you and somehow, I have something to do with it. They don't want me with you."
"Who is the real bad guy though? My boss or the people trying to separate us?"
"What if there's a bigger plan and they work together?"
"This sounds so surreal. I knew working with him would be unimaginable and I would be doing things I have only seen in movies, but this is something else."
"I think the reason why I can guess and piece clues is because of movies."
We all laugh it out a bit and eat our dinner. This has been a long day and we have an even longer two weeks ahead.