6.) When he drinks, he'll want to argue and you'll be hurt and confused but remember to keep your thoughts unclouded. It's pointless for you to talk and shout at a drunken idiot.
December, 2014
Christmas break was coming soon. Everyone was both stressed and excited. Stressed because exams were coming up plus the pressure of the future ahead of us, the anxious feeling of waiting for those acceptance letters (or rejection ones) from the universities we've applied for. Excited because well, we get a break from all those stress, we get to push some kind of pause button to just stop stressing about the future.
I sighed as I tried to concentrate on the Physics book in front of me but it was no use. I've been studying for two hours and I needed a break.
"Let's go to Starbucks." I suggested to Monique, who was hidden behind behind an English book. She folded the page she was reading, set the book down on the table and looked up at me eagerly.
"Thought you'd never ask!" she said excitedly as she started putting all of her books and things in her bag.
Looks like I'm not the only one who's bored with studying.
I chuckled and did the same things stashing all of my books and thongs messily inside my bag. Uhmm, errr I'll fix it later. Wink wink.
We exited the library and started walking towards Starbucks.
"How are you and Wayne?" Nique asked, as we continued torturing ourselves with the cold rush of snow air.
"We're good." I answered through my chattering teeth. "We should've brought your car." I complained.
She chuckled. "Oh c'mon you nig baby, we're almost there. See?" she pointed to a nearby, familiar sign.
I rolled my eyes and fastened my pace, leaving a laughing Nique. I pushed open the doors and inhaled the scent of coffee.
"Ah." I said appreciatively, feeling warm. I turned to my bestfriend. "Since you made me walk through that cold, cold, outside world you're ordering." I said dramatically, handing her some money. "You know what I want! I'll go get us some seats! Love you!" I shouted and scurried off to find us a table.
"You were the one who suggested we go here!" she yelled back and some of the customers drinking their coffees turned to look at her.
I ignored her and settled comfortably on one of the tables with cushioned chairs near the window. I got out my things from my bag and started reorganizing it.
"Leih?" I hear someone call. I stopped shuffling my things and looked up to see a familiar brunette with blue eyes.
"Hey, Mina." I greeted casually. Mina is one of my close friends in our dance troupe. I glanced at Monique who was still in line. "Come sit for a sec. I'm waiting for Nique."
She grinned and took a seat from one of the cushioned chairs beside me. "Aren't you supposed to be with Wayne at the party?" she asked once she made herself comfortable.
"Party?" I echoed confusingly.
She frowned. "Yea. At Em's." she reminded me like I was supposed to know.
My stomach clenched tighly at the name that left Mina's lips. "Em's?" I echoed again.
"Oh shoot. You didn't know?" ahe didn't bother waiting for my answer because it was evident on my face. "I don't know if I should tell you this but..."
I held my breath, feeling like I'm trapped in the middle of the street, waiting for a car to hit me. "Tell me what?" I asked, breathing uneasily as I braced myself for the worst.
She sighed heavily. "I don't want to come between you and Waynr but I think you deserve to know." she pasued and I was about to snap at her to get to the point when she rambled again. "Earlier, we had a filmshowing in History. Em and Wayne were sitting cozily next to each other and well, uhrm, Wayne was biting Em's arm." she said, scrunching her face in disgust.
What the fuck? Biting her? Who does he think he is? Dracula?
I let out the breath I was holding and stared at her, stunned and unable to speak. "I-" am finally hit with the truck.
"Hey, Mina." Nique said, appearing with a tray. "Wanna join us?" she asked, placing our food and drinks on the table.
Mina smiled at her, and shook her head lightly, saying she has to pick up her brother and returned her gaze back to me with concerned eyes.
"I'm okay." I finally spoke. "Thanks for telling me that. I'll talk to him later." I smiled wanly at her.
She nodded and waved goodbye to us.
Nique took a sip of her drink and then asked me what's wrong. I repeated what Mina told me and watched closely for her reaction.
Her eyes widened in surprise and then whistled softly. "Well, atleast she didn't kiss her." she laughed humourlessly. "But still, damn, who does that? Does he think he's a vampire or something? "
Exactly my thoughts.
"Just ask him." she suggested. "Confront him. Then if it's true, well then, let's go hire a lion to go bite the two of them."
I nodded, still shocked at Mina's revelation but I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried to enjoy the rest of the afternoon.
But well, failed.
After we finished our coffees, we parted ways. I went home to hid in my room and sent a quick message to Wayne telling him to call me asap. Which probably won't be for awhile because she's probably enjoying her time with her bestfriend Em.
I focused my attention on my Physics book for the next few hours to distract myself... It was almost eleven when he called me.
"Hey babe!" he said giddily, slurring his words.
"Are you drunk?" I asked in disbief. He was not a fan of alcohol and in our 16 months relationship, I never saw him drink.
He giggled uncontrollably. "How did you know? Are you stalking me?" he slurred.
I put my hand on my forehead. I think I'm gonna have a headache. "Are you still at Em's house?" I asked, trying hard not to break down.
"Yep!" he said happily, popping the "p" I could feel tears start to form in my eyes but I quickly wiped them away. God, this hurts.
He gasped. "Wait! How did you know that I was here?"
"I'm a stalker remember?" I asnwered humourlessly, feeling my heart starting to ache and crack.
"Don't tell Leih, okay? She'll get mad at me." he said.
"I'm already mad at you.... Why did you bite her, Wayne? Why? That is so fucked up " Tears streamed down my face as I slowly break into sobs. "Why are you there in her house? Y-you told me last month that you w-were gonna stay away from h-her. H-how could you?" I sniffed, crying softly as i feel my heart cracking a little more.
"Oh yea?" he snarled at me. "Well, remember last month when you referred to yourself as a whiney, possessive, bitchy girlfriend? Well, you fucking are." he yelled.
I froze at his words. "Y-you're drunk, Wayne. You don't know what you're saying " I cried. I tried not to take his words seriously. After all he was drunk, right? But that wasn't the case,deep down i knew that drunken hearts are more honest than sober ones and deep down I was just trying to lying to myself to feel lesser pain.
"No. I'm not." he said coldly. "This is a mistake. W-we were a mistake."
I felt a sharp pain on my chest, my heart continuing to crack into pieces. It's like the whole world stopped and at the same time, crashing down at me.
"No." I gasped, holding my breath because I'm afraid that if I breathe, it'll hurt again.
"Yes." he interjected. "Em? I've liked her way back before I even knew you but at that time, I didn't have a chance with her and then you came so I reciprocated my feelings for her to you."
His words.. I listened to his words and felt them at the same time. It's like his words were punches, punching me blow by blow and it fucking hurts.
"You were just my rebound."
Another full blow.
"I never loved you."
Knockout.
I couldn't take it anymore so I hang up and collapsed on the floor.
I never felt heartbreak before not until now. I thought the bookd I've read and movies I've watched about it were overreacting about feeling your heart break into pieces but now I know. I felt the last of my heart crack, and finally shattered into pieces. It doesn't hurt physically but it you can feel it emotionally.
I cried and poured all of my heart out, atleast what's left of it anyways and vowed to never cry again for Wayne Silvers.
•••
I knocked at the Silvers' door three times and waited for him to answer it but her mother answered it.
"Hey, Dinah." I greeted softly.
"Hey honey." she beamed at me. "Come in." she said, opening the door for me. "Wayne's still sleeping."
"Thanks." I looked longingly at the stairs, leading to his bedroom. "Can I go wake him up?"
Dinah smiled warmly at me. "Sure,honey. Want breakfast?"
I shook my head. "That's okay, I won't be staying very long. Thank you though."
I trudged upstairs and opened the door to his room. There he was, lying on his bed, his blanket barely covering his body. I fixed his blanket and realized that he'll probably have a hangover when he wakes up so i went down to their kitchen and fixed him a hangover tray then carried it back to his room where i found him waking up.
"Hey." I set down the tray on his bedside table.
He looked up in me in surprise. He began sitting up, wincing all throughout the process.
I pointed to the tray I put together. "There's Advil, orange juice and toast there. The hangover works." I informed him and he gaped at me, still surprised and a little wary.
I watched him pop the Advil in his mouth and drank the orange juice in one gulp, sighing after he was done. Then he picked up his toast and started nibbling on it.
"Want some?" he offered but I just shook my head. "Have you eaten?" Again, I shook my head and he sighed. "Okay. Let's talk." he said, finishing off his toast.
I nodded. "I have some questions." he motioned for me to go ahead. "Why did you bite her?"
"It was playful." he started to explain. "It wasn't just her. I also bite my other friends."
Well, that's weird.
"What are you? A fucking dog?" the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. He winced but I didn't care. I was on a roll with my inner bitch unleashed. "That is so stupid and inappropriate. Should I have kept you on a tight leash? So that you couldn't bite other people?"
Guilt flashed in his eyes but he looked down so I couldn't see it, but i did.
"Why were you at her house? So you could fucking naw your teeth on her again?" I laughed bitterly. "You told me you'll stay away from her and you know what's unfair? When you get jealous of one of my guy friends, I stay away from them, keep my distance for awhile until you're not jealous of them anymore but you? Well..." I trailed off.
He stayed quiet, still not looking at me.
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
I chanted in my head, taking in a deep breath. "I'm tired of fighting, tirrd of chasing you when you're chasing someone else, tired of trying so hard to make this relationship work and tired of pretending everything's okay when everything's falling apart."
He tensed. "So you're giving up?"
I smiled sadly at him. "There's a difference between giving up and knowing that you've had enough." I stated.
He finally looked up and I could see unshed tears glistening on his eyes which were staring back sadly at mine. "But you're the one that told me that if you want something, you run towards it not away from it."
Memories of our first date flashed inside my head. "But what if the one you want is running away from you?"
He sucked in a sharp breath, letting his unshed tears fall down on his cheeks. I sat on his bed, scooted over to him and placed my hand on his cheeks, wiping away his tears.
"I know you love me though or atleast loved me. What you said last night was bullshit because you wouldn't be crying right now if you didn't love me." I cupped his cheeks and stared deep into his pained eyes. "I love you too but I'm letting you go because I can't stay with you, knowing your heart is torn in two."
He sniffed. "Thank you. Not for letting me go but for everything. You made me into a better person, a better son and a better friend. Before I met you, I was just this broken kid filled with gaps, voids and holes then you came in and filled those cracks, making me whole. You made me realize that i was more than a broken kid.You helped me get out of my shell and be happy..." he said, his voice breaking.
Damn it. I told myself I wouldn't cry. I looked up to the ceiling, trying to prevent my tears from falling. "I didn't do anything." I said in a little voice.
He removed my hands from his face and put his hands on mine. He leaned down, giving me a kiss on my lips, giving me one last kiss.
It was short but when it was done, neither of us pulled away, scared that if we do, this will be all over. So we let our lips linger on each other for awhile, enjoying the moment-- our last moment.
"I love you." I said one last time, finally pulling away from him. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to because I already felt him say it on our kiss. He gave me a small, pained nod .
I scrambled out of his bed and made my way to his door, not letting myself look back.
-
a/n: AWWWWH WAYNE AND LEIH ;(((( my frsgile heassxrt agssjdjdwgsbx
1 more chpter to go then an epilogue!!!! x
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