Dry leaves were kicked up by Caesar's hooves as he galloped over the forest path, sun light falling through the thick leaf roof of the trees. The wind in my face felt relieving, as if it would take my sorrow with it. The steady rhythm of the horse set me into some kind of trance, and it was one of the rare moments I was actually close to happiness.
Why did I have to fall in love with a Confederate General, of all men in this world? Could I not just have a simple love like Marianne's?
No, the voice in my head told me. Because you are not as simple as Marianne, and neither is Jasper. You could never be happy with an ordinary life.
Throughout the sound of my galloping horse I heard something else, and instinctively, I stopped. Of course, this was a stupid idea, but I could hardly think straight these past months. I let my gaze wander over my surrounding, taking in every branch, every single leaf.
Despite me seeing nothing, I felt watched. It only occurred to me now that I had blindly ridden somewhere, without the slightest measurement of precaution. Since when was I so stupid? Probably ever since reason had disappeared from my life, which was the same moment Jasper appeared in it.
I knew it would be pointless against a bullet, but I drew the rapier I always hid underneath the saddle out, still suspiciously eyeing the forest.
No P.O.V.
Only one woman would be found armed and ready to strike, and only one woman's sharp senses would have perceived his men's well-hidden presences. Of course, there was also only one woman ignorant and brave enough to ride out alone during a war. Georgiana.
Jasper did not know what to feel.
When Gibbs asked him whether to attack or not, he had signalled him to wait. He had no idea whom they had circled then, but a voice within told him to see for himself first.
And there Georgiana was in all her beauty and strength. It was plain to see that she was exhausted inwardly, but her fierce expression and the unmistakable message she sent out - I will be no easy victim - made her seem invincible. Jasper had the impression that nothing would shake this woman.
"Retreat to the base camp." He muttered to Gibbs, ignoring the man's surprised expression. "She will not be harmed."
"Aye, General. May I remark, however, that she would be an excellent hostage, worth at least fifty of our own men. I agree that you saved her life last time, but you should start to think about winning this war, not that woman."
Luckily, Gibbs disappeared quickly enough as to not experience Jasper's anger. It wasn't his lieutenant he was angry at, though, but himself; for realising that Gibbs was right. Georgiana diverted him from the obvious facts, and those were that he could easily capture her and then exchange her for fifty of his men at least.
After the others have silently disappeared to the base camp and it was only Jasper left, he slowly walked towards Georgiana before he even realised what he was doing. He was simply drawn to her, and could not restrain from her.
Georgiana's head whirled around to him, her thick auburn curls flying, and her green feline eyes blazing with the quiet sense of fear. This disappeared all too quickly, though, when she saw him.
"Jasper." She breathed, her weapon disappearing underneath her saddle again, and she dismounted her horse energetically. Georgiana wanted nothing more than to run towards her love and jump into his arms, but she knew that she could not expect Jasper to feel the same passion towards her that she felt for him. So she struggled with herself to stand still by her horse's side.
"Georgiana. I am surprised to see you here." He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, how he had missed her, how glad he was to see her again, but none of these words ever left his lips. He wished he could somehow tell her... but was not willing to admit those facts to himself. So Jasper thought he could fool himself by keeping the truth from Georgiana.
"I am quite glad to see you." Georgiana had more guts than him, as Jasper self-contemptuously realised. So he receded his defiance. "To speak honestly, Georgiana, I have missed you."
Her mouth fell slightly open at such a confession, and it was harder for her now to restrain from touching, kissing him. Luckily, he heard her silent begging and stepped closer to her, cupping her pale face in his strong, rough hand. He pulled her head tenderly towards him, and moments later their lips met in an explosive kiss.
Without having exchanged any further words, they stumbled further into the trees and loved each other on the forest floor like farmers.
...§...
1st June 1863
I believe I can finally feel happiness again! I have met Jasper yesterday! And, oh, what a meeting it's been! I still feel hot all over merely thinking about it!
He now also knows about my father's plans... He will be safe. I realize with indifference that I have once more been a treacherous whore, and these harsh words don't affect me as much as they should. I would go much further for one moment with Jasper Whitlock; it is almost like an addiction. He is the drug, and I am the addict who is willing to give anything for his next shot.
This meeting had given me hope that I might see him again... It had been possible once, why not again?
...§...
30th June 1863
I haven't seen Jasper since a month ago, but I have hopes that I might again. How and when, I do not know, I simply hope.
We are at York now, where Marianne will get married. She is very happy these days, and I can feel glad for her, too. She is a woman made for a well-situated marriage, unlike me. Anyhow, even though I can understand her joy, I really wish she would stop fussing so - she can not stop talking about children, vacations at Charleston, honeymoon and what-not. Whenever there are no men near, she also says in hushed whispers that she fears the wedding night so. Then I, fed up with her excitement, am always close to saying that she need not fear anything, it is pure pleasure, except for the little pain the next morning.
Imagine Mother's and Marianne's faces, would I truly say that!
...§...
Georgiana's P.O.V.
I sat in church, a little bored by the sheer endless sermon, and looked into nowhere. Marianne finally stood before the altar, and I hoped her unnerving blabber would stop now.
"I always thought nobody was supposed to outshine the bride."
I almost jumped up with a screech at hearing Jasper's voice directly behind my ear. Here, in the church of a Union town! With my father sitting a mere two rows before us!
After having come over my shock, I whispered while keeping my face straight and unmoved: "What are you doing here? You could get killed!"
Jasper chuckled quietly. "With all due respect, Georgiana, but even your father is not all-mighty. I doubt he even knows what I look like, let alone notice me amongst his happy, chattering wedding-guests."
"It is still dangerous for you to come here, but I will not reproach you. For one thing, because I am sure you are yourself quite aware of that fact, and for another, I am glad that you are here. How did you know..."
"...where you are? Remember I told you I would always know your whereabouts, seeing you are General Ellwood's daughter?"
I smiled, and wished I could turn around and look into Jasper's gorgeous face. "Indeed. I would not have believed you were as accurate as even knowing what building I reside in momentarily..."
"That I have found out due to personal interest, not military." He traced my neck with his fingertips, kissing my neck gently. I had goosebumps all over my body, and feared I would let out a cry of pleasure in the otherwise quiet church. "I will see you soon, Georgiana."
He stood up and disappeared, not before having passed me, handing me a bible. "Reading the holy book can often give us new perspectives, my lady." Then he was gone, as swiftly and unnoticed as he had come, so that I was not even sure he really had been there. My racing heart told me he had been, though.
I held the book in hands, and wondered why he had given me a book he knew I had read before, and would not read again. As to not fall asleep during the still lasting sermon, I opened it, and found a letter in the front.
Tonight, Pete's Pub. Maria Miller.
I quickly looked around, scared someone might have seen. Of course, I knew that these five words wouldn't mean much to anybody, but to me they were everything. I would see Jasper tonight.
The festivities lasted long into the night, and from eleven o'clock on, the amount of men able to walk straight diminished greatly. Howling officers sat in our living room, giggling girls who had drunk too much champagne in the saloon, and people were coming and going. In short, the whole village was celebrating, and so it was an easy thing for me to slip out the back entrance and hurry down the street to the hotel Pete's Pub unseen.
I entered, and was pleased to see not many people in the saloon. I had run here blindly, not even thinking of the consequences should I get caught. Or, worse, should Jasper get caught.
"Name?" The stout man behind the counter asked as I approached the desk.
"Maria Miller."
"Room 5, upstairs." He said, bored, handing me a key. I guessed that this man wouldn't remember my name or my face the next day. As long as he receives his money, he'd be satisfied. Or so I hoped.
I almost ran up the stairs, and fiddled with the key before I eventually managed to unlock the door. I slammed it shut behind me, my breath steadying. I was completely mad, no denying it.
"Georgiana." Jasper's muffled voice at my neck, his strong arms embracing me as he locked the door behind us. I sighed as I let my body lose, all tension fading away. "The porter..."
"...can be trusted. He's paid for silence, and couples spending their nights here are not unknown to him."
I raised my eyebrows. "Or soldiers and their whores."
"You are not a whore, Georgiana, by no means. Furthermore, you are probably the woman furthest away from being one."
I snorted in contempt, having a clear moment for once, in which I saw me as what I was. "Oh, please. This hardly is what an honourable woman would do. If what I am doing is not the business of a whore, what is it then?"
"Honourable women sit in their salons and sew over the newest gossip. You are doing what you want, and that is desirable and envy-worthy. You are a true woman." Jasper came closer and hissed: "You should know that I do not abase myself to sleep with whores. I would not be here with you if you were just an ordinary woman, a replaceable slut. Do you think I would take so much upon me to meet you if I saw you as one?"
I stayed silent, brought to think by his words. Maybe I really was more than just his mistress...? Did he maybe, just maybe, feel more for me? I could not speak. Maybe I feared crying when I would - of what, I did not know. Relief, maybe, sorrow, guilt, love or contempt?
"Come to me, Georgiana darling." He said soothingly, and I uncrossed my arms before my chest. I obeyed him all too readily, like a trained lap dog.
It had been the first time he had ever called me darling, and I sighed at the caress of his words. Of course, I did not delude myself into thinking that this might lead to anything more substantial than the relationship we had now. It was more than sufficient for me, more than I could have ever hoped for.
I let out a groan of pleasure as his hands wandered to my breast, slowly untying the corset. So slow it was torture, and I bit my lips to keep from whimpering with suppressed desire.
Finally, he untied the last knot and let the corsage fall to the ground, my dress soon following so that I stood naked before him, setting out to rid him of his clothes. When I had, he gently picked me up and laid me on the bed, running his lips over my body. It was difficult to believe such a tough, trained body was capable of such careful tenderness. Desiring, pleading moans left my lips, and the last bit remaining sense vanished. All I was able to think was that I needed to feel him deep within me. Now.
After the third time, we lay beside each other on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. Jasper put an arm around me, pulling the blanket over me, then also over him. I cuddled close to his muscular body, and he closed his embrace tighter around me. It almost felt as if were lovers, true lovers... but should I dare hoping?
"Why are you doing this, Georgiana?"
"Why not?" I asked back, although I could have given myself a hundred good answers to that question. It merely showed the state of my mental health that I even asked it. Jasper did not answer, which I could not begrudge him. I sighed, kissed his neck and said: "I can't go back to my old life now, Jasper. You showed me what I was missing those eighteen years... I can't pretend like those nights had never been."
It seemed enough of an answer to him, and he kissed my temple, caressing my one breast as he did. I groaned quietly and found myself climbing on top of him.
13 times, I thought. 13 times have I betrayed my family, have I slept with the enemy. Seven times that first night, twice in the woods, and then four times tonight, the fatal night that had merely been the beginning - the beginning of a disastrous love that would destroy not only my family, but so much more.
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