January 26th, 2014
Hey diary, I'm back to talk to you again. So the last time I wrote in here was about the time Jungkook hugged me after our performance in Seoul and was looking at me a lot while we were on stage. We had a great time that day and I felt really happy, cause it was nice not having to deal with his usual stubborn self the whole day. He just typically tends to make everything difficult in terms of our "bromance" as Tae likes to call it. Even when I'm not showing affection towards him, he pushes me away when we're just hanging out.
I cry a lot cause he brushes me off like that, like dust. I like to think that maybe it's his way of hiding his feelings toward me, but it will probably be better in the long run to just get used to it. *Sigh* I wish it didn't have to be that way though. Why can't he just stop being so selfish and accept it? Accept our obvious chemistry? I've seen the way he looks at me on videos our ARMYs upload onto Youtube, and even the way he talks about me when I'm not in the room.. So why wont he just show the way he really feels already? Aish, dealing with someone like him downright drains my energy.
One reason may be because our personalities are actually extremely different- like we're practically opposites, like yin and yang. I'm very outwardly affectionate when I like someone, and as a contrast he simply shys away and pretty much ignores the person he likes. I've heard many stories about that happening from the group members- it's a fact. That isn't how it should go. If you like someone, you don't ignore them to the point that they cry every night into their pillow, you show them you care before it's too late God damnit! Just you wait, Jungkookie. I'll get you one day. Just one day.