This is the end. Beautiful friend, the end.
waaaahh I'm crying a bit. It's so sad! This book was...something else to write. Emotional, intense, heartbreaking. I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did.
Final chapter...<3
Chapter 30
Corinna’s POV
I came awake slowly, my brain trying to function through the fog blocking my synapses from firing properly. Where was I?
I blinked hard, trying to make sense of the white walls around me.
A hospital. I was in a hospital.
Slowly, piece by piece, the night came back together starting with the moment I laid eyes on Flynn and ending with watching the ambulance drive away, his blood on my shirt, on my hands.
I flinched at the image, my heart starting to pound harder in my chest as I struggled to sit up, vaguely realizing there was a cast on my right arm.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to move.”
My head swung over to where the feminine voice had come from, my eyes widening in shock as I laid eyes on my ex best friend. Rachel was sitting in a chair near the window in my hospital room, her dark blue eyes warily taking me in as I sank back onto the bed. “What are you doing here?” I asked, wincing when my words physically hurt on the way out.
“Your dad called me when he heard you were in the hospital.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “And you came rushing over?”
Her eyes narrowed. “I didn’t come here to fight with you, Cory.”
“No? Then why did you come? To bond?”
She gritted her teeth and just shook her head at me, looking frustrated and a little bit hurt at my tone.
I turned my head away from her, determined not to care. It didn’t matter now, anyway. There was something else I needed to know, something I desperately needed to ask but fear was keeping the questions inside. My heart was lodged up in my throat and my lungs were starting to starve.
“Your parents were here a couple minutes ago. They wanted to be here when you woke up.”
“Where’d they go?” I whispered, my eyes firmly planted on the wall away from Rachel.
“They went to see Flynn.”
There it was. His name. And just like that the world stopped. My ears started ringing and I felt like I was being beaten all over again. Fear pounded at my skull persistently and my mouth moved silently as I attempted to form words that just weren’t coming.
“He’s okay,” she said, her voice a little softer now.
I made a sound caught between a sob and a wheeze.
He’s okay.
No two words had ever sounded sweeter.
“He came out of surgery a couple hours ago. The bullet didn’t hit anything vital, they just needed to stop the bleeding and close the wound. He’ll be fine.”
I was crying, my tears stinging the cuts on my face, dripping down to the bed where they left a puddle that was immediately soaked into the sheet.
“Cory I...” she trailed off, her voice shaking with uncertainty. “I’m so sorry, Cory. I think there are a lot of things I don’t understand about what happened four years ago and I did some things I really regret.”
I bit my lip and nodded, still not facing her, not wanting her to see that I was kind of falling apart over here.
“I should get a nurse.”
“Wait,” I gasped, my body turning towards her without conscious thought. I winced as my ribs protested and I vaguely remembered the sound of at least one of them cracking during my beating. “Just...can you just stay here for a second?” I whispered, looking at Rachel and for the first time in a long time, seeing the friend I’d once had.
Her eyes were a bit wet as she looked back at me and nodded slowly.
We were silent for a long time, both of us just breathing. Finally, in a quiet voice, weighed down with things that should’ve been said a long time ago, I croaked, “I didn’t want you to understand, you know that, right? I didn’t want you involved in any of my shit.” I shrugged and gave her a pained smile. “I shouldn’t have shown up at your house that day, on your fourteenth birthday. I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” My smile got a little wider, a little more wry. “I’m sorry Leslie Young’s parents saw me puke and wouldn’t let her stay for your party.”
Rachel’s lips twitched. “Leslie Young was kind of a bitch, anyway.”
I gave a short laugh which cut off abruptly when my ribs protested.
After a moment, I swallowed hard and looked her in the eye, needing to see the truth when I asked, “He’s really okay?”
She tilted her head to the side slightly, examining my expression as she nodded. “He’s fine. A little banged up but he looks better than you.”
Something inside of me lifted and my lungs were able to expand more fully when I breathed in deeply.
“You really love him, don’t you?”
I stiffened slightly, my eyes sliding from hers as her words made my heart beat a little faster. I did. I loved him so much that it was a physical presence inside of me. But...
I couldn’t ignore that little voice in my head, that slight whisper that wouldn’t leave me alone.
He deserves more.
I shrugged in answer to Rachel’s question, internally wincing at that stupid voice, hating that it was right.
Flynn had been shot.
His blood had coated my shirt, my hands.
And it was my fault.
If I’d just stayed away from him, if I’d listened to that voice all those times it had whispered that I was getting too close...
He wouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed right now.
“Cory?” Rachel said softly, drawing my eyes to hers. She was frowning slightly, her eyes concerned as she looked at me, like she could see right through me. “You―”
The door to my room opened, drawing our gazes that way.
“Cory,” Sandra breathed, tears immediately springing to her eyes as they latched on me. “You’re awake,” she said, her voice cracking. She drew her hand to her mouth to cover a sob as Donald followed her in, lifting his arm to wrap it around her shoulders.
I nodded stiffly, keeping my expression as blank as I could.
How was I supposed to react here? Confusion and fear were crowding into my brain. I didn’t know what to think, how to behave. They weren’t looking at me like a criminal anymore, they didn’t see the Corinna they saw that night, months ago when I’d strolled back into their lives.
Now they saw a Corinna they pitied.
I’m not sure I could deal with that at the moment.
“What’s up?” I said as lightly as I could, my voice still rough from the bruising on my throat.
Sandra let out a choked sob and I could see the apology in her eyes before she even opened her mouth. “I’m so sorry, Cory. I’m so, so sorry that we weren’t there for you.”
I shrugged, my lips stretching into a lousy facsimile of my usual false grin. “It’s cool.”
“It isn’t,” Donald said, stepping closer to my bed, his fingers curling around my cast-free left hand, cradling it in both of his. “None of this is okay.” He swallowed hard. “You’re my daughter,” he croaked, tears clogging his throat, moistening his eyes as he looked down at our hands.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I slowly pulled my hand from his, tucking it under my body to keep him from touching me again. This was too much. This was all just too much.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I said, my voice sounding thin and weak to my own ears. I needed out of there. I needed to think this over, to figure out where I stood now. My head began to pound hard, my blood pumping fast through my veins as I searched for a place to stand, a place where I belonged with these people who so recently debated on whether or not I was fit to stay in their house.
“I’ll get a nurse,” Donald said, turning his back to go look for one.
“It’s fine,” I said, sitting up stiffly, trying not to show how much it hurt to move. “I can do this.”
He paused near the door before taking a step closer, his eyes uncertain as he lifted his arms as if to help me.
“Don’t,” I snapped, my voice harsher than I’d wanted it to be. “I’m fine.”
His eyes flashed with hurt and guilt before he nodded and backed off, moving next to Sandra to grip her hand in his tightly.
I looked away from them, focusing on shifting my legs off the bed, planting my feet on the floor and taking a step, hating how much my knees were wobbling.
Finally, teeth gritted, hands fisted, I made it to the door and out into the hallway. As soon as I was out of their sight, I placed a hand on the wall for balance, my breathing coming faster with each agonizing step. God, this hurt.
I turned a corner, following the signs until I made it to a desk with a clerk sitting behind it, doing paperwork. “Which room is Tyler Flynn in?” I asked, my heart racing as I spoke his name.
She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. “It’s not visiting hours.”
“I’m not exactly a visitor,” I said, gesturing to my beat up face with my casted arm.
“I can’t tell you that information. I’m sorry.”
Something desperate clawed its way up my throat, ripping whatever control I had away from me and I started to shake, needing the counter for balance. “Please,” I whispered brokenly. “I need to see him. I need to know he’s alright. I-I’m his sister.”
Her eyes flashed with something like sympathy and for a long minute, she just sat there with her lips pursed. Finally, she gave a slow nod and with a knowing light in her eyes she said, “As long as you’re family. He’s in room 226. Just down that hallway.” She pointed me in the right direction and I let out a shaky breath, giving her some semblance of a smile as I pushed away from the desk and began walking.
I moved slowly, eyeing the numbers on the doors with an odd mix of anxiety and excitement. I wanted to see him so badly that my hands shook with the need.
But at the same time...
He deserves more.
That stupid, persistent voice was stabbing into my brain, making each of my steps a little slower, making my heart ache a little harder.
It didn’t matter. I still had to see him. I’d figure everything else out after that.
I stopped in front of 226, my heart in my throat, my knees shaking, my breath sawing in and out of my lungs. My fingers tingled with the need to touch him, to hear him, to just know that he was okay but I couldn’t seem to make my hand reach for the door.
Finally, after a long, drawn out moment of standing there, shaking, I managed to open the door, pushing it slowly.
And there he was.
My stomach dropped at the sight of him. His face had a few scattered cuts and bruises on it, his skin was pale and his green eyes that I loved so much were closed.
This was so wrong.
Flynn shouldn’t have been there. He shouldn’t have been anywhere near that fucking place.
My fault.
I swallowed down the lump that had risen in my throat, ignoring the way my eyes were stinging as I moved closer to his bed, sinking into the chair next to it.
Had Rachel said he was fine? What a liar. This wasn’t fine.
This was far from fine.
I’m so sorry.
The words were on my lips, in my head, writhing under my skin but my throat was blocked and the most I could do was sit there and stare at him, wishing everything was different, wishing I could go back and do things another way.
I thought back to the cozy scene I’d stumbled upon that night, months ago when I’d stood in my father’s driveway. I stood there with shaking knees and a numb heart, defensive, afraid, desperate and I did something I wished I could take back.
I moved forward.
I should’ve run. I should’ve taken one look at them having a normal family dinner and I should’ve known that I didn’t belong.
I made a mistake.
And Flynn was paying for it.
“Oh god, Cory.”
I jumped slightly at the sound of his voice, my eyes snapping to his. “Flynn,” I said through stiff lips.
His gaze was tortured as he took in my bruised features. “I’m so sorry, Cor,” he croaked.
I frowned down at him in confusion. “You’re sorry?” I mumbled as he gingerly sat up further, bringing our faces to the same level.
“Yes,” he said, his green eyes burning into mine as he slowly reached out and gently brushed his fingertips over my cheek, my jaw, my throat, leaving behind a trail of fire that seemed to work better than any of the painkillers they’d been giving me.
I blinked, momentarily distracted by the feel of his skin on mine. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Tyler. I almost got you killed.” I winced as the word left my mouth, my heart doing an uncomfortable flip in my chest at the thought. “You got shot because of me,” I said, my voice wobbling oddly.
“Don’t,” he said, his expression turning dark as his hand slipped into my hair, holding me together with his touch. “Don’t even try to take the blame on this one, Cory. This wasn’t your fault.”
My eyes drifted closed as my lips tightened and my forehead wrinkled. I gave my head a light shake before leaning a little further into his touch, unable to stop myself from enjoying the feel of him against me. “There are so many things I should’ve done differently, Flynn. So many.” I swallowed hard and opened my eyes, looking directly into his, noting the way his seemed to darken with intensity as I talked, a denial written across his features that I wouldn’t be able to hear even if he spoke it. “I made a mistake going back to Donald and Sandra. I made a mistake forcing myself back into their lives.” Lifting my casted hand, I let it flutter in the air uselessly for a second before dropping it back to my lap. “I made a mistake with you, Flynn. I shouldn’t have let it get to this point and for that, I’m so, so sorry.”
His jaw clenched and his fingers shifted slightly along my skull, sinking a little further into my hair. “Which part was a mistake, Cory?” He asked, his voice low and controlled but there was an edge there telling me that maybe his control wasn’t as strong as I thought.
“I don’t know,” I whispered raggedly, my voice catching in my throat as my eyes started to burn. My heart started beating faster as I tried to explain to him what was going through my head. “All of it, I guess.”
“All of it,” he repeated in a cold voice, his eyes sliding from mine to glare at a spot on the wall.
“Mostly, I shouldn’t have leaned on you like I did. I was so busy depending on you that I forgot that I’d need to depend on myself soon enough. The more time I spent with you, the more I started to believe that maybe it didn’t have to end the way I’d planned. I was setting myself up for a fucking fall and I was too blind to even see it.”
His eyes swung back to mine and this time they were dark with anger. He leaned a little closer to me and growled, “When are you going to realize that you’re not alone, Cory? Why do you insist on pinning everything on yourself?”
“Because it’s my fault!” I shouted, my voice cracking on the last word. “That whole time I was crying on your shoulder, every single time I reached out to you, I should’ve been thinking about this.” I gestured to him, lying there on the hospital bed. “I knew what my life was like and I should’ve been smart enough to know that by getting close to you, I was dragging you into all the shit that seems to follow me around.” I shook my head, pushing the chair away from the bed so I could stand, suddenly feeling like this hospital room was a little too small.
He deserves more.
He made a sound of frustration and I glanced over at him in time to see his legs swing over the side of his hospital bed, his face drawn and pale from the pain of his movement but it didn’t stop him from glaring at me. “You’re driving me nuts, Cory. I made the choice to go after you. Me. If anyone’s to blame for this,” he gestured to his own body, “it’s me.” The muscle in his jaw was ticking furiously and I could practically hear his teeth grinding together. “You’re thinking of leaving, aren’t you?” he asked in a low, even voice that seemed to cut right through me.
My eyes shot to his and widened. I searched for the mask that used to fit me so well but it was gone and I could do nothing but stare at him as he saw right through me, seeing the truth in my eyes.
“You are,” he snapped, squeezing his eyes shut as I remained standing there like a deer caught in the headlights.
I was thinking of leaving. I kept seeing his face in that warehouse, I kept hearing the sound of bullets whizzing through the air around us and it made me sick to think that it could’ve all ended for him.
My fault.
“It would be better―”
He snorted, cutting me off. “For whom?” he snapped, his flashing green eyes keeping me pinned in place.
“For you!” I shouted, taking a step closer to him, my fingers curling into fists at my sides, needing him to understand this.
He made a sound low in his throat, his whole face hardening with anger as his glare turned feral. “So that’s it? After everything, after going through all of that, now that it’s all over and you can finally have a normal life, you’re just going to walk away?”
“It’s not that simple,” I said, my breath wheezing in and out of my lungs as his anger multiplied. Why wasn’t he getting it?
“You’re the one making this complicated, Cory.”
“I’m not―”
“Save it,” he snapped, his anger mixing with hurt, tearing my heart to pieces. I didn’t want to hurt him. I wanted him to be okay. I needed him to be safe. “So what’s the plan? Are you going to wait a day before you leave, or are you just going to slip out in the middle of the night again?”
“Flynn, I―”
“Will there be a forwarding address this time or are you planning on just forgetting about your whole family?”
“That’s not―”
“You can’t just run forever, Cory. When are you going to stop―”
“I almost lost you!” I shouted, the confusing jumbled of emotions roiling inside of me reaching a boiling point. My hands were fisted at my sides, my breath pumping in and out of my lungs rapidly, making my ribs ache but I barely felt it. I was so consumed by this blind mix of panic and anger and fear that I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of my mouth if I tried. “Do you get that?” I snapped, taking a step closer to him, looking down at him until he planted his feet on the ground and stood in front of me, his face still hard, his eyes unreadable.
“I almost lost you,” I repeated, my voice quieter but no calmer. “How do you expect me to react to that, Flynn? If you had died, should I have just brushed it off? Shrugged and moved on with my new life now that Joey and Charles are behind bars?” I shook my head hard, making myself a little dizzy with the movement. “I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. I can’t just let it go, not when every time I close my eyes, I see your blood on my hands. I don’t know how to react to this, okay? I don’t know how to feel right now because all I can think about is how close I came to losing you. Maybe to you, it seems like I’m running, but all I can think about is how fucked up shit happens when I’m around and no matter how much I want to blame someone else, I can’t help but think that maybe it’s me. Maybe it’ll always be this way, that I’m just some stupid magnate for situations like the hellhole we barely managed to survive. And if I am, then I can’t drag you back into another mess, Flynn. I can’t feel like that again.”
“What about me?” he snarled, his hands reaching out to grip my shoulders, his touch gentle even as his eyes blazed. “Those assholes held me back and made me watch while Charles kicked the living shit out of you. They made me sit there as he slowly lost his control. I saw it, Cory. I saw the minute he snapped and I fucking knew that he wasn’t going to stop.” His eyes drifted over my face, his lips pressing into a flat line as a deep pain flitted across his gaze. “I thought I was going to have to watch you die right in front of me and no matter how hard I fought, I wasn’t getting free.”
I felt my skin drain of colour as I stared up at him, unable to form words as he took a few deep breaths, trying to regain control of his emotions.
Slowly, his expression softened and when his hold on my shoulders shifted towards my back, I went with it, leaning towards him until our bodies were touching and my head was resting on his shoulder. His hands on my back were gentle, smoothing over the bruises like a balm, leaving my knees weak, making me think of all the things I thought I’d never have.
“Forget about it all for a second, Cory. Don’t think of that warehouse or Joey or Charles, let’s just pretend they never existed for a moment, okay? What do you want?”
You.
The answer was automatic and it cut through every other thought in my head like a razor sharp blade. I opened my mouth to deny it but nothing came out so I just shifted a little closer to him, not even caring that my ribs ached, that my bruises were screaming at me because this was what I wanted for as long as I could hold onto it.
“Cory,” Flynn whispered raggedly, his hand coming to my chin, tilting my head back so he could look me in the eye. “Tell me.”
My lips parted and my forehead wrinkled slightly as I stared up at him, lost for the moment. Could I do this? Could I make that leap and try to grab onto all the things I wanted, starting with him?
“I―”
A commotion in the hallway halted my voice in my lungs, making me pull away from Flynn slightly but his arms remained around me loosely as we both looked towards the door.
“Just let me see her!”
I frowned, hearing Barb’s shrill voice just outside seconds before the door opened to reveal Flynn’s dad, Rob, as he poked his head through the door, his eyes widening when they latched onto his son’s arms around me.
I tried to shift back a step but Flynn wouldn’t budge.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Rob said, his tone flat and a little unfriendly as he gave me a cold look before opening the door wider and stepping into the room. “Corinna’s mother would like to speak with her.”
“Baby girl!” Barb sobbed, launching herself at me, making my eyes cross in pain as her arms looped around my broken ribs, squeezing.
I gasped in a pained breath, lifting my hands to push her away but Flynn was already there, tugging her off of me. “You’re hurting her,” he growled.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Cor. Oh my god, I hurt you didn’t I?” That was a loaded statement.
“I’m fine,” I muttered, trying to get my breathing back to normal as some of the pain subsided now that she wasn’t touching me.
“I just can’t get this right, can I?” she whispered, her voice cracking as tears tracked down her red cheeks, her eyes running over my bruised and battered face. I felt like she was seeing me for the first time ever. My feet itched to run from there.
“Have you been drinking?” I whispered, stepping a little closer to her, hoping Rob didn’t hear but when I glanced at him, I knew he didn’t need to hear me to know that Barb wasn’t entirely sober.
Lovely.
My eyes widened when Sandra and Donald entered the room, holding hands and leaning against each other, staring at Barb like she was the scum of the earth.
My left hand curled into a fist.
“Let’s go for a walk, Mom,” I said, my voice coming out firm as I gave my father a cold stare, somehow hating the way he was looking at Barb. She might be a disaster but she was my disaster.
“No baby, I need to tell you something.”
“Tell me on the walk, okay?”
I wound my arm around her shoulders, intent on steering her out of there but she struggled, her elbow hitting my ribs, making me flinch and bend at the waist slightly to relieve the pain. “Oh god, I hurt you again,” she said, crumpling to the floor in a heap, sobbing so hard that her body shook. “I’m such a fuck up. I fucked up my life and yours, too. I’m so sorry, baby girl.” She lifted her head and her once luminous blue eyes, now dulled by a life of drugs and drinking connected with mine hard, slamming into me like a fist. “I want to change, Cor. I want to be different. I...” she swallowed and looked around her, flinched when she spotted her ex-husband watching her as she had a meltdown. She squared her shoulders and looked back at me, her expression harder than before, more determined. “I’m going to rehab.”
“Okay,” I said easily, walking towards her, holding my hand out to help her up. “Let’s get you some coffee first, okay?”
“You don’t believe me,” she said, staring at my extended hand, not moving to take it.
I gave her what I hoped was a placating smile, but honestly, I don’t think I pulled it off. I was sick of helping her up. This moment just illustrated what my life had been like since she’d walked back into it. A never-ending string of Barb falling on her ass and me picking up the pieces. “Of course I believe you,” I lied, giving my hand a little shake, indicating that she should take it so everyone could stop staring at her.
“No, you don’t,” she said, her brow furrowed as her eyes connected with mine once again. “But you will. I promise you this time, baby girl. I’m going to do it.”
I bit my lip and my mouth barely twitched this time when I tried to smile at her. “Okay,” I said, my throat burning with acid as I humoured her.
With a sigh, she took my hand and I helped her stand, trying not to wince at the pain the movement caused.
“Cory,” Donald said, taking a step closer to me but I stopped him with a cold look, humiliation making my spine stiffen, helping me gather some composure to force a false grin across my lips. “It’s fine, Donald. She just needs some air. Hospitals make her...claustrophobic,” I said with a shrug, tempted to give a hysterical laugh. Claustrophobic, hammered, same thing, right? “We’re going for a walk,” I said firmly, taking a step towards the door before I felt Flynn’s hand engulfing mine, keeping me in place.
I looked over my shoulder at him, my heart clenching at the protective look in his eyes. “I could come,” he said gruffly.
I was shaking my head immediately, taking in his pale features. “You should rest,” I said, my tone sounding so much softer now that I was speaking to Flynn. Jeez, I should just wear a sign that says I love Tyler Flynn.
His lips tightened but he didn’t let me go. “Promise me you’ll come back,” he said, his voice going lower, rumbling out of his chest as his eyes darkened.
My heart stopped in my chest and I wanted to reassure him that he didn’t need to worry, that of course I would come back but I had to admit, if I was going to leave, this would be a good chance. I could just walk out of there and never look back. I could ditch everyone and start over, no longer a nuisance in anyone’s lives.
Only...
I didn’t want to.
It was as simple as that. I didn’t want to leave him.
So with a soft, genuine smile, I nodded at him at whispered, “I promise.”
I walked past Rob, Donald and Sandra, letting Barb lean on me even though it hurt. What else was new, right? When had it not hurt to hold her up?
“I was serious about getting clean,” she slurred when we were just outside, the sliding doors whooshing shut behind us.
“I’m glad, Mom,” I said, watching as she let me go to pull a cigarette from her pocket, lighting it and taking a deep pull.
“You still don’t believe me,” she said, blinking her eyes a couple times, widening her stance as she swayed slightly.
“You’re hammered,” I said through gritted teeth, sick of humouring her.
“I had one last drink,” she mumbled, her eyes sliding from mine.
“More than one.”
She shrugged. “I can’t control it, baby girl. I need help. That’s why I’m going to rehab.”
“Good.”
She bit her lip, her eyes darting to mine and away again before she said, “A friend of mine knows a good place. It’s in Chicago.”
I nodded, eying her warily, sensing that she was about to drop a bomb.
“They say it’s easier if you have family to support you.” She shifted slightly on her feet as my spine stiffened. “I was hoping you’d stay in Chicago with me.”
“I don’t need rehab, Mom,” I snapped.
“You could get a job, find a place. I just think it might be nice to have you come visit me sometimes, you know? Like maybe it’ll help me get through it. You could come to meetings. They say everyone’s welcome to the meetings.” I didn’t say anything, just stared at her as she stood unsteadily in front of me, asking me to drop everything to be with her. “I need you, baby girl,” she said, her voice catching as a tear slipped down her cheek.
My jaw tightened, anger and guilt at war inside of me as I stared at her, trying to make sense of everything. “Please don’t ask this of me,” I whispered.
“I want to change, Cor. I hate what I’ve put you through but I need your help just a little bit longer.”
I felt my face go blank as I straightened my shoulders and stared down at her, her fingers looking frail as they held the cigarette to her lips, her entire body looking too small, like she was wasting away in front of my eyes. “Are you saying if I’m not there, you won’t be able to do it? You think if I’m not there, you’ll just check yourself out?”
“I’m not strong like you, Cory.”
“I’m not strong, Mom, not really. If I was, I’d have left you years ago. If I were strong, I would’ve taken one look at that burning building and I would’ve let you take the fall for it.” I ran a hand through my hair, feeling shaken to the core as I stared at her, hating her and loving her at the same time. Irrevocably tied to her even as I wanted to be completely free from her. “I want to help you, I do but I...” I shook my head, my voice catching in my throat as I started to pace in front of her, unspent energy building in my veins as my mind raced. “I’m still muddling through all of this, Mom. I’m...free,” I whispered, frowning slightly as I looked out at the parking lot before turning back to face her. “Joey’s in jail, Charles is in jail and you...you’re no longer under their thumbs. It’s only starting to sink in now, but I’m starting to get it. I’m starting to see that I have...options.” I stepped closer to her, feeling like I was tearing up something inside of me as I looked at the tears running down her face. I reached out to take her hands in mine, forcing her to drop her cigarette as I tried to hold it together just a bit longer. “I gave up everything for you before, Mom. I destroyed my life before I even understood what I was giving up. Please don’t ask me to do it again.”
Her face crumpled and she lowered her head, bringing our joined hands to her forehead, her tears dripping between our fingers, pooling in my palm. “Cory, I’m so sorry.”
“I love you. That’s not going to change, but I need you to stand on your own for this. I need you to do this without my help because frankly, I’m so tired of being the one you depend on.” I gave a shaky smile, giving her hands a squeeze. “I have to figure out my own, messed up life before I can help you deal with yours.”
She lifted her face, her lips trembling as she continued to cry but there was a new light in her eyes, like she finally saw the scars on my body that had her name on them. “Okay,” she finally whispered, giving me a shaky smile of her own. “Okay, I’ll do it. I’m going to be strong and when I get through this, I’ll call you, okay baby girl? Would that be alright?”
I nodded and wrapped my arms around her, half of me applauding my decision while the other half of me dreaded the words I’d just spoken.
She needs me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, hugging her tight. I needed her, too but not like this. I needed her sober and I needed her to get there on her own.
I’m making the right choice.
“I’m just going to...head out, now,” she said, pulling back from me, wiping a tear off her cheek.
My heart lurched but I nodded. “Okay.”
“I’ll call you, Cory.” She took a step away, turning her body but froze before she made any real progress. A wrinkle formed between my brows as she faced me once more, her small hand reaching out to cup my cheek. “For what it’s worth,” she said, her voice somehow strong now, “I really am sorry, Corinna. For dragging you into this mess, for hurting you the way I did, I’m so sorry.” Her lips tilted into a trembling smile and for the first time in a long time, I saw my mother in front of me. “I’m proud of you, baby girl. Somehow, despite having a screw up like me as your mom, you’ve turned into this beautiful, strong woman and I’m so, so proud of you, Corinna.”
Her fingers gently wiped a tear off my cheek as she gave me one last smile before turning away, her steps steadier now, her posture stronger than I’d seen it in a long time.
I watched as she stepped up to a waiting cab and got in, giving me a small wave as they drove away. I didn’t wave back, I couldn’t because I felt like if I moved at all, I’d run after her.
I stood there for a while, tears streaming down my cheeks as I stared at the last place I’d seen her, feeling like something inside of me was changing. For four years, I’d lived in hell. I’d felt trapped by the weight of my own mistakes, locked in a cycle with my mother that couldn’t be broken but now...
It was all coming to an end. I was free for real, free to make my own choices, to plot out a life that revolved around what I wanted.
It felt surreal. Being alone in Joey’s world had broken me. I’d been resigned to living that life, resigned to losing my family, to losing Flynn, to losing myself.
But now...
It didn’t have to be like that.
Eventually, I re-entered the hospital, heading to Tyler’s room because I’d promised him I would come back.
I rounded a corner and paused, seeing Flynn’s dad sitting on a chair just outside of his room. My spine stiffened when his eyes caught on me, his expression turning darker as he recognized me. I gritted my teeth and squared my shoulders, walking towards him with a confidence I didn’t feel. “Hey,” I said, giving him a half smile that felt unnatural on my lips.
He nodded at me, his eyes narrowed on my face as I moved to walk past him, intent on going into the room.
“My son cares about you.”
My heart lurched and my feet froze in front of him, not sure where this was going. “I care about him, too,” I responded, keeping my voice even.
“Do you?”
My eyes latched onto his and I didn’t need any kind of mask when I said in a clear voice, “Yes.”
He nodded slowly, his expression still hard as he examined me. “He’s my son, Corinna. I may not be the best father but I’m not blind. He loves you enough that he’d take a bullet for you. I need to know that he won’t have to ever again. I get that the circumstances were beyond your control, that you never asked him to be there but if there’s a chance you’re going to get involved in something like that again, maybe it would be best if you walked away. If you care about him, please don’t put him through something like this again.” He cleared his throat and his voice was rough when he said, “He’s all I have.”
I tilted my head to the side, examining the man who used to beat on his son when he had a few too many. I didn’t respect him. I didn’t even like him but I didn’t disagree with him on this. “I’ll try not to get him shot again,” I said, my voice tinged with a bit of sarcasm that I probably should’ve avoided but he was pissing me off. I let out a slow breath when his green eyes flashed with irritation. “For a while there, he was all I had, too. He was the only person I felt like myself around and if I lost him...it would kill me.” This time my voice was genuine and steady and after a long pause when Rob realized no further explanation was coming, he nodded.
I nodded back before moving past him and entering Flynn’s room, my heart jumping at the sight of him, sitting on the edge of the bed, his feet on the floor next to it. When he spotted me, he stood, his green eyes shaded, his mouth set into a grim line as he watched me walk into the room, stopping a few feet away from him as the door shut behind me.
“Where did Donald and Sandra go?”
“They went to the caf,” he said, his voice heavy, the tension in the room becoming thick, sticking to my skin. “Where’s your mom?”
“She left,” I said, my eyes shifting to the side, biting my lip as my heart pounded hard in my chest, nerves making my palms sweat. “She seems serious about rehab.” He nodded but didn’t say anything. I sucked in a deep breath, meeting his gaze right on when I blurted, “She wants me to move to Chicago with her, to be nearby.”
His eyes shuttered completely and he flinched as if I’d reached out and slapped him. “What did you say?” he ground out, his jaw clenched so hard that his words were almost muffled.
My heart threatened to break its way out of my chest as I looked at him, my stomach turning uncomfortably, my feet itching to run away. Real fear skittered over my skin, making my thoughts muddle as I attempted to form sentences, to lay everything out for him.
“I said no,” I finally managed to croak, my lips quirking into a smile that vanished before it could even form. My eyes were focused on his collarbone as I spoke, feeling like I was onstage in front of a million people rather than standing in front of just one.
I think he let out a breath but my ears were kind of ringing so it was hard to tell. “So, what now?” he asked, his tone a little stiff, like he was holding something back, like he was afraid of my answer.
“Well,” I said, straightening my shoulders and meeting his eyes squarely, feeling my heart skip at beat just from looking at him. “I think I’ve fallen behind in my classes, Tyler.”
His forehead wrinkled in confusion, obviously trying to follow my train of thought.
“I was hoping you’d be willing to tutor me again. It would be nice if I could graduate this year.”
He blinked at me, still saying nothing and my confidence began to wane. “Um, if you don’t want to―”
Suddenly, his arms were around me, holding me lightly, careful of my bruises as he aligned our bodies.
“So, you’ll be my tutor again?” I mumbled, my lips tilting into a huge grin that I couldn’t stop as I rested my cheek against his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his waist.
His body shook slightly as he chuckled. “Definitely.” He leaned back to look at me, his lips stretched into a grin that matched my own but slowly it faded, taking my smile with it. “Just so we’re clear,” he said, his voice low as he brought one of his hands up to brush a stray piece of hair behind my ear, making the blood in my veins hum, “is there a time limit on this deal? Once you graduate, are you planning on leaving?”
I tilted my head to the side, leaning into his touch, loving the feel of his palm on my cheek, nearly losing my train of thought. “I was thinking I might stick around, maybe try to work things out with Donald and Sandra. I was sort of thinking that I’d give it a shot, the whole family thing. I want Jake to know me as he grows up and I want Jesse to be part of my life.” I shrugged, giving him a wobbly smile.
“I think that’s a good plan, Cory,” he said, his voice not entirely steady as he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on my lips that made my brain cease functioning for a moment.
Mine.
The thought drifted across my mind as he leaned back, his lips tilted into a crooked grin, his eyes a little dazed as he looked down at me.
“I love you, Cory,” he said softly, his hand on my cheek moving into my hair, tilting my head sideways so he could get better access to my lips.
I sighed, his words shifting over me, making my knees go soft and just before his lips touched mine, I whispered, “I love you, too, Tyler.”
He froze, his lips a hairsbreadth away from mine and I frowned, shifting forward to close the distance between us, unable to figure out why he stopped.
He moved back, avoiding my lips. “What?” I asked, blinking several times, trying to get my brain to function again. Why did he stop?
“What did you just say?” he croaked, his voice heavy as his eyes latched onto mine, bright green and intense.
I frowned, trying to think back, finding it hard to focus with his arms around me and his face so close to mine. “I can’t remember.”
“Cory,” he ground out, his voice pained as I ran my hands up his back, careful of the bandage on his side. “This is important.”
I leaned back slightly, blinking a couple times to clear my head. Finally, it clicked and my lips tilted into a crooked grin. “I love you, Tyler. Happy?”
His eyes glazed over and his lips slanted into a broad grin. “Yeah,” he said, his voice a little breathless as he leaned forward and brushed his mouth against mine. “You?”
Something inside of me settled at his question and even though everything wasn’t perfect, even though I still had a lot of things I needed to work through, there wasn’t an ounce of artifice in my voice when I replied with a simple, “Yes.”
“Nervous?”
I glared over at Jessica, practically hyperventilating as I stood in front of the mirror in the ladies washroom, my knees shaking and my palms sweating.
“Not at all,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Yes you are,” Jessica said, reapplying her lip-gloss, grinning at her stunning reflection.
“I just...it feels unreal, you know?” I said, my heart racing in my chest as I looked at my own reflection, taking in the long black gown, the sash and the stupid hat that sat crookedly on my head. “Why does that hat look so good on you?” I snapped at Jessica.
“I’m awesome?” she replied with a casual shrug. “How the hell does it feel unreal, Cor? Just think of how hard you’ve worked the past couple of months, think of the all-nighters and hours of studying. That’ll bring reality crashing back in.”
I swallowed hard, looking at myself in the mirror, watching as my lips tilted into a small, satisfied smile. “I never thought I’d get here. Not after everything. Part of me keeps waiting for someone to pull the rug out from under me, to tell me there was some kind of mistake and I have to be held back a grade.” My smile vanished as I looked at her with wide eyes. “What if I go out there and they never call my name? What if they just skip over me and go on to the next person?”
Jessica quirked a brow at me. “You’re being stupid.”
“Thanks for your support,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes even as my lips twitched with humour.
“You love me,” she said, grinning at me as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “C’mon, everyone’s waiting for us and your insecurities are making us late.”
“Since when do you care about being late?” I grumbled, letting her lead me out of the bathroom and into the mass of people outside, streaming into the gym for the convocation ceremony.
“Since I started dating your gorgeous brother,” she replied, giving me a cheeky grin before letting me go to fling herself at Jesse who was walking towards us with a wide smile on his face.
I just shook my head at the two of them, about to follow after Jessica when someone called my name behind me.
“Hey,” I said to Rachel as she caught up to me, her face bright and her eyes just a bit nervous as she smiled at me. “I just wanted to say congratulations,” she said softly, leaning in to give me a quick hug.
“Thanks,” I replied, my voice a little unsteady. “You too.”
She nodded and with a wave, she drifted through the crowd, meeting up with her parents and friends.
“Reena!”
My lips automatically tilted into a grin as my brother launched himself at me as soon as I was facing him. I held my arms out, catching him easily, depositing him on my hip in a smooth, practiced motion. “I’m bored,” he said, pouting at me.
“Oh really?” I replied, my brows lifting.
He nodded solemnly. “Let’s go home and play games, okay?”
I laughed, loving this little guy so much that my heart ached with it. “I think I should probably stick around until the ceremony is over.”
His lower lip jutted out and his eyes that were so similar to mine seemed to grow bigger as he looked up at me as if I’d mortally wounded him.
“I promise we can play games after, alright? But only if you’re good until the ceremony’s over. What do you say, kid?”
He squinted his eyes at me for a moment, considering it deeply before nodding. “Deal, but I get to choose the games.”
I sighed, pretending like I wasn’t entirely happy with his condition. “Fine,” I grumbled, setting him on the ground just as Donald and Sandra walked up to us. “But I’m not going easy on you this time.”
“I always win fair and square,” he said, sticking his tongue out at me. I returned the favour, a smile slipping onto my lips as Donald knelt down at Jake’s insistence, helping his son climb onto his back for a piggy back ride.
“You’re glowing,” Sandra said, leaning close to me and planting a kiss on my cheek before wrapping her arms around me for a tight embrace.
“We’re so proud of you, Cory,” Donald said, repeating Sandra’s actions, making a lump appear in my throat. Was graduation supposed to be so emotional?
“Thank you,” I whispered, clearing my throat, telling myself it was just a tickle, that there was no way I was going to cry today.
Donald’s eyes were suspiciously wet as he cleared his throat, too, mumbling something about finding seats before they were gone.
I smiled at their backs, something inside of me warming at the small exchange. Yeah, we weren’t perfect and it may not seem like much to anyone else but to me, even something as small as a few kind words, made a bubble of happiness settle inside of me. We’d made some progress, the three of us. It wasn’t easy. I still tended to get defensive and snide and I had a hard time just talking to them but the times that we got along were becoming more common.
There were pictures of me in the house again.
I spotted Jessica leaning against a row of lockers with Jesse, Aaron and Dave. I walked over to them, grinning as I saw the tortured expression on Dave’s face. “Don’t look so pleased to be here,” I said, punching him on the arm as he glared at me.
“This is going to be boring. You’re lucky I like you, Cor or there is no way I’d show my face at one of these stupid things. I didn’t even go to my own graduation.”
I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Thanks for coming to mine,” I mumbled into his chest, that warmth I’d felt earlier spreading through me, reaching my limbs as he wrapped his arms around me.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” he mumbled, grinning down at me as I pulled back.
“We’re having a party after,” Aaron said, flinging his arm around my shoulders. “You coming?”
I opened my mouth to reply but a voice from behind me cut me off.
“Aaron, tell me you’re not putting the moves on my girl,” Flynn said, his low voice sending shivers through me as he stepped in front of us, his green eyes on Aaron and even though his tone held a warning, his lips were tilted into a grin that made my heart rate skyrocket.
“Just making sure she’s keeping her options open,” Aaron replied, with a casual shrug, tugging me a little closer.
Flynn’s smile vanished and his eyes got a little harder.
“Okay,” I muttered, extracting myself from under Aaron’s arm, stepping towards Flynn and gripping the lapels of the blazer he was wearing under his open graduation gown. “He was joking, Tyler.”
“No, I wasn’t,” Aaron quipped, so not helping the situation.
I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to tell Flynn to forget about it when I realized his eyes were locked on mine, a soft expression on his face as he looked down at me.
“You look beautiful,” he said quietly, brushing his fingers over my cheek lightly, making an involuntary shudder race through me.
I couldn’t stop the smile that tilted my lips at his words, forgetting for a second that we were in the middle of a crowded hallway as I leaned forward and linked my hands behind his neck, bringing our bodies together.
A girl could get used to this.
The thought had reality crashing in as I remembered that there was something I had to talk to Flynn about. “Tyler, I―”
“We have to head in now,” Jesse said, pushing on Flynn until he backed away from me, only his hand remaining linked with mine. “I wanted to give you this,” Jesse said, holding a single red rose out to me, smiling broadly. “Congrats, Cor.” He wrapped his arms around me for a quick hug after I’d taken the rose. “Knock ‘em dead.”
I coughed lightly, holding the rose close to my chest as Jesse, Dave, and Aaron moved into the gym.
“I got you something, too,” Flynn said, leaning against a row of lockers, tugging on my hand until I was leaning against him.
“What is it,” I asked, my mind kind of blanking as my hands shifted to wrap around his neck again, letting his hair sift through my fingers, the rose dangling from my pinky.
His eyes closed and he let out a low groan. “You’re going to have to stop doing that if you want your gift.”
“Okay,” I said, my voice sounding a little husky to my own ears.
He pulled something out of his pocket and pulled one of my hands from behind his neck, dropping something small into my palm.
I frowned, looking down as I let my fingers fall back, revealing the silver key that lay there. “What does it open?”
“It’s the key to Gran’s house,” he said, his voice a little rough as he looked down at the key before locking his eyes with mine. “She would’ve wanted you to have it. If you ever just need a place to get away, go there, with or without me, okay?”
I bit my lip, trying to keep the tears pushing at my eyes from falling. “Okay,” I whispered, closing my fingers over the key and holding it in my fist, bringing it close to my heart. “Flynn?”
“Yeah,” he said, his lips tilted into his usual crooked grin.
“Thank you.”
For giving me my life back, for opening my eyes, for saving me in more ways than one, for not giving up on me...thank you.
His smile faded slightly and a line appeared between his brows. “Is something wrong?” he asked, seeing right through me.
I gritted my teeth and planted a smile on my lips. “Nothing’s wrong. I just...have a few things on my mind.”
“What is it?” he asked, his hand shifting to cup my cheek and I automatically leaned into his touch.
“Let’s talk after, okay?”
A muscle in his jaw twitched and I could tell he wanted to argue with me but a teacher was rounding us up, ushering us into the gym and to our seats.
Finally, he nodded and gripped my hand as we walked in together.
The ceremony passed in a blur. They didn’t miss my name and as I took the diploma from the principal’s hand, I felt that warmth spread all the way to my fingertips and toes. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was proud of myself. I’d actually graduated despite everything that was conspiring against me, I’d done it.
I was happy.
The feeling washed over me in a tidal wave and I realized it was true. At this moment, after everything that went down, there was a contentment resting inside of me that felt foreign and nice at the same time. This was what life was supposed to feel like.
Aside from the one, small worry that kept niggling at my brain, everything was...good.
Not perfect, but good.
Once all the names were done being called, we tossed our hats before everyone scattered, chatting with family, giving hugs and gifts.
I was about to go find everyone else when Flynn gripped my hand and dragged me out of the gym. “What happened?” he asked, his voice strained with worry, his eyes dark with it. “Is it your mom?”
I shook my head. “She’s fine. Still on the wagon. It’s not about her. It’s about us.”
His expression blanked, his body going rigid as he stared down at me in disbelief. “What do you mean?” he said through gritted teeth.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it and I want to go to college.”
He frowned. “That’s great, Cory, but what―”
“Just let me finish,” I said, exhaling before sucking in a deep breath, ignoring the dull pain that was starting somewhere in my chest. “I know you’re going to UC in September and I’ve been thinking about what you said, about how I could take some courses there to bump up my grades before applying next year and I think it’s a good idea except...” I squared my shoulders and looked him in the eye. “I think I want to do that here. I feel like I just got my family back and I don’t want to move away so soon.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” he said, his voice low, his eyes focused on a point beyond my shoulder.
I shook my head, dread pooling in my gut at his words. “I don’t want to break up. I love you. But if you think that the distance would be too much then,” I trailed off and swallowed hard, wincing as I said the words, “I’d understand.”
His eyes snapped to mine, burning into me. “Do you mean that?”
I opened my mouth to tell him, yes, I did, but instead I said, “No.”
The fire left his eyes and a grin slipped onto his lips. “Good.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, leading us back towards the gym.
Did I miss something here?
“So, we’ll try to long distance thing?”
“No.”
My stomach dropped. “Then, what―”
“Cory, if you want to stay here, that’s fine, but I’m not going anywhere. It was hard enough to get you back into my life once, there’s no way I’m going to leave you for a year just to go to school when there’s a perfectly good school here for me to go to.”
My mouth dropped open. “But California...”
“We’ll visit sometime,” he said with an easy shrug, pausing just inside the gym to look down at me.
I frowned, feeling like I was cheating him of this experience, like he was giving something up for me.
“If you’re thinking of arguing with me, don’t. I’m not leaving you.”
His words washed over me and my doubts vanished.
What did I do to deserve him?
Who cares? He was mine now and I didn’t plan on letting go.
He leaned down and kissed me deeply, making my thoughts scatter and my toes curl.
“Still feel like arguing?” he murmured against my lips.
“Not even a little bit,” I breathed, sinking my fingers into his hair and pulling his mouth to mine again.
That's it! Thank you everyone for reading faithfully. I had my doubts in the beginning and I'd even thought of quitting but now here we are! it's complete!!! Hope you liked the ending. Keep an eye out for Imperfect updates :)