Conflicted Heart (Completed)

Thirty Three

Yani

It's been a little over a month and I am doing better. I am slowly trying to fall back into a routine. The miscarriage was not and isn't an easy thing to deal with. It broke my heart to know that I was no longer pregnant anymore. To know that I lost me and Zane's baby....hurt me so deeply. I have to constantly remind myself that it wasn't my fault that it happened. A part of me will always blame myself, but I know Zane doesn't blame me for anything. Zane has been so amazing through all of this. When I try to push him away because I'm hurting, he will not let me. He just has been so supportive. I would not be able to deal with this without him and I love him so much for that. Nia is doing better too. She has accepted the fact that her little sibling won't be coming as soon as she thought. She's strong though. Anyway, it's Friday evening and I am lying down in bed with Zane. Nia is sleeping in her room. Zane scoots closer to me and gently kisses the right side of my neck. I look at him and he smiles softly. We haven't been intimate since the miscarriage. I just haven't felt up to it to be honest. Zane leans in and gently pecks my lips and then looks at me. I lean in and I peck his lips.

"How you feeling baby?," Zane asked.

"Ok baby. Every day gets easier for me," I said.

"I'm so happy to hear that. You had me scared for a bit. I felt like I was losing you."

"You could never lose me Zane. You're stuck with me," I said while smiling a bit.

"I'm so happy to hear that. We're going to be alright you know that right?"

"Yes baby I know that thank you."

"....Whenever you want to try for another baby, you let me know. I'll use condoms until you feel ready to try again." I just smile sweetly at Zane. He is so amazing. I look at him as he runs his fingers down my arm causing chills to run down my spine. I rest my hands on his cheeks and I lean in and I peck his lips softly three times. I then turn to lie down on my back as Zane watches me closely. I bite my bottom lip as I lift up my hips and I take off my bottoms and panties. Zane looks at me and licks his lips. I throw my clothes to the floor and Zane turns on his side to face me. He runs his hand over my stomach and then down to my pussy. I turn my head to look at him and our eyes connect instantly.

"Baby....are you sure about this?," Zane said while twirling my clit ring slowly.

"Mmmm.....yes baby. I'm sure. I need you inside of me. Please," I pleaded. Zane nods his head and he turns on his back and takes off his boxers. He then rolls on top of me and I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him deeply as he rubs my sides gently. Zane positions himself inside of my legs and I wrap my legs around his waist instantly. Zane licks down my neck and I close my eyes as I feel his tongue swirl around the left side of my neck. It feels so good. I've missed his touch and just being close to him. He lifts up my shirt and I sit up and he takes it off of me in a hurry. He takes off his shirt and he pushes me to lie down as his lips attack my right nipple. I run my hands over his small curls as he sucks on my right breast. He then pays equal attention to my left breast. He then kisses down my stomach and I sigh in pleasure. He then hovers over my face and kisses my lips. He reaches over to the dresser where we keep the condoms, but I stop him. Zane looks at me in a bit of shock.

"Baby....are you sure?," Zane asked.

"Yes baby...I want to feel the real you anyway. I definitely want us to expand our family or at least try again," I said honestly. Zane grabs my face and kisses me deeply. I moan as I tilt my hips upward into his. I want him inside of me already. Zane uses his right hand to guide himself inside of me. I relax into the bed as I feel Zane slide inside of me.

"Oh baby....mmm," I moaned softly. Zane rests his head against my shoulder and he thrusts in and out of me slowly.

"Oh god you feel so good," I whispered.

"Uhh shit so do you baby," Zane groaned. I wrap my arms around him as he thrusts deeply inside of me.

"Damn you're wet for me huh?," Zane noticed.

"Mmm yes baby," I said. With every thrust, Zane and I can hear how wet I am. Zane gets me wet without even touching me, so when he does touch me I just start leaking. Zane moves his head so his eyes can connect with mine. He kisses my nose and I smile softly.

"I love you Yani," Zane said.

"I love you too Zane. I love you so much," I said sweetly.

"You love me so much get on top and ride this dick," Zane said while smirking. I giggle as Zane flips us over so I am on top of him. He slaps my ass a few times and I laugh out loud. Zane is so damn freaky but I love it. I rest my hands on his chest and he rests his hands on my waist as I start to bounce up and down on his dick. Zane and I enjoy a passionate love making session in the bed and then in the shower. Once we are done showering, we go back out to the bedroom. I drop my towel and Zane slaps my ass form behind. I jumped slightly and I turn to look at him.

"Stop that," I warned.

"Why you like that freaky shit," Zane teased.

"Shut up I am not that freaky," I defended while starting to lotion my body.

"Cut the lying babe. It's ok you're a nympho there is nothing wrong with that. I love it to be honest. I love that you're willing to give me sloppy head pretty much every morning," Zane said while shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. My mouth drops open in shock and Zane busts out laughing. I hit his chest playfully and he pulls me close to him and kisses my lips.

"I'm only teasing but I'm right," Zane said. I roll my eyes playfully and Zane squeezes my breasts before I push him away from me. We lotion our bodies, put on our pajamas and then Zane lies down in the bed. I put my hair into a high bun and then I lie down next to Zane in the bed. He pulls me close so my head is resting against his chest. I slowly outline a few of the tattoos on Zane's right arm as he rubs my left arm gently. About 30 minutes later, there is a knock on the door.

"Mommy, daddy," Nia called out.

"Come in baby girl," Zane called out. Wonder why my boo is up? It's almost one in the morning. The door opens and Nia walks in with her hair all over her head and she is rubbing her left eye.

"You ok baby?," I asked.

"Yeah....I just....had a dream I want to tell you and daddy about," Nia said through a small yawn.

"Ok come join us gorgeous," Zane said. Nia closes the door and walks over to the bed. She climbs in and lies right on top of me with her hair right in my face. I laugh softly as I move her hair out of her face.

"Baby girl where is your head scarf?," I asked.

"I don't know mommy it fell off when I was sleeping and I couldn't find it," Nia said.

"I see....well it's ok mommy will do your hair in the morning anyway. Tell us about the dream you had," I said.

"Well....it's about my baby brother," Nia said while looking at Zane and then me. Zane looks at me and I look at him. We then look back at Nia.

"Nia....what do you mean?," Zane asked.

"It's weird I know daddy, but I swear I met my baby brother in my dream....the baby that mommy lost. It's like he came to me.....I'm crazy huh?," Nia said while sighing.

"Not at all baby," I said while rubbing her back gently.

"We believe you baby girl," Zane said.

"Good....he was like a spirit. He said he's ok and a part of him will be back soon anyway," Nia said while smiling warmly. I look at Zane and he smiles widely and I do the same. I kiss Nia's forehead as she snuggles close to me.

"Hey little girl you hogging mommy from daddy again?," Zane teased.

"Yeah she's all mine," Nia teased back. Nia kisses me all over my face and I laugh out loud. Zane tickles Nia's stomach as she giggles out loud. He then pecks Nia's lips and then he looks at me and winks. He pecks my lips and then rests his arm around Nia's back. Zane scoots closer to me and kisses my cheek. Zane did say we would be just fine and I know he's right.