About thirty minutes after Zeph went on his little "date", to avoid further awkwardness in TJ's face, I grabbed our shit and got ready to go home.
I was walking out of the front door when he stopped me, by pulling my shoulder back. I pressed my unlock key and turned back to him.
"What is it bruh? I wanna go home." I say, he takes the back side of his hand and caresses my face. I take his hand and press it harder against my cheek feeling his touch sink deeper.
"Will I ever see you again?.. Wait scratch that. I'm gonna see you again." He says lowly.
"Man.. Ima need some time okay?" I say, beginning to walk off. He punches the door open even wider, causing me to take a double take.
"Time for what? Don't you feel what I feel?" He says. I roll my eyes.
"Seeya later TJ." I walk to my car, and start it up.
"Yeah. You will!" He calls, smiling. I quickly drive away, and on my way back home. I'm still having mixed feelings about this... But even if I do come to call myself gay, I still can't up and leave a girl who I've llved since tenth grade.
********
"Evening Mr. King." The gatekeeper says, as I punch in my code to get into our neighborhood.
"Wassup man." I say, driving off and rolling my window up. I drive around to our house and I park my car in the left driveway.
"Finally." I say, getting out of the car. I grab my bag and Zeph's and I walk into the house.
"Hey baby! Come on in!" My mom says through the surveillance system mic. She don't know how to act since they installed this shit. I walk inside and kick off my shoes. Gladys wobbles up to me and hands me a glass of lemonade.
"Thank you Gladys." I hug her, and I walk upstairs to my mom's office where she was.
"Hey mommy." I say smiling.
"Hey booskie! How was your friends house?" She asks.
"Ehh... It was cool. I'm tired." I say.
"Awh I'm glad you had fun on your senior skip day." She says, still typing. I still can't believe she fell for that lie. Since I'm coming to terms with some stuff.. I figure I'd try to talk to her.
"Hey mom." I say, sitting down.
"Yes?" She says, licking her thumb and flipping through some paperwork.
"Remember when you said, you could see me with someone completely diff-"
"Where's your brother??" She looks up, finally, cutting me off.
"He's on a date." I say, dryly.
"A date? With who?" She asks. As if I'm not trying to come out of the closet to her right now. Some people are just so inconsidorate.
"Some girl named Danielle or something." I said.
"Oh.. She better not be no nasty heffa trying to steal my son's money by trying to get pregnant and shit." She says, flipping her hair and typing again.
I give up. I stand and pick me and Zeph's bags back up and I walk upstairs.
"Go speak to your dad Cedric." She says.
"He's not my dad." I say, before closing her door, ignoring her request. I make it to my room and I plop down on my bed.
"Peace. At. Last." I say, while ONCE AGAIN being interrupted by my phone ringing.
Come on TJ really??
I answer without opening my eyes to look.
"Hello??" I say annoyed.
"How are you feeling?" Kim asks. I quickly sit up, and fix my attitude.
"I'm fine baby." I say.
"Good. I'm coming over later!" She says.
"What?? No.. I uhh.. I threw up earlier and never cleaned up. There's vomit everywhere." I lied, not really succeeding.
"Umm don't you have cleaning help?" She asks.
"Yeah but they're off today." I lie again.
"Oh.. Well ours are full time. Anyway. I'll just see you at school on Monday then. Love you!" She says and hangs up.
Ugh! I completely forgot about school. I lay back down and close my eyes. I was three seconds away from falling asleep and then my stupid phone vibrated and it was a text from an unknown number.
Unknown- Yo wassup?
Me- ??
Unknown- Ukno who dis don't play stupid.
I know this bastard was not texting me.
Unknown- hello??
Me- ...
Unknown- Cedric its Keem.. I wanna talk to you.
Me- I have nothing to say to you.
Unknown- Ced please !?
Unknown- Give me five minutes...
*Incoming Call* *Unknown Number*
"Hykeem... I didn't invite you to call me. And how the fuck did you get my number?" I ask frustratedly.
"Look bruh. I-"
"I'm not your bruh." I cut in.
"Look... Cedric... I wanna make things right with you."
" " I said, (spaces indicate silence)
"Hello?" He asks.
"Yes???" I say.
"Did you hear me?" He asked.
"Yeah I hear you. You talking real loud but your actions are on vibrate though." I say.
"So you got jokes?" He laughs into the phone.
"You are pathetic. What makes me think after what you did to me, that I'd even consider being with you again?" I say.
"Ced babe you know I was on that shit that day. I told you sorry a million times! What do you want me to do?" He asks, whining like a bitch.
"Kill yourself."
"What?"
"Hykeem you raped me..." I say.
Silence...
"Oh so you can't hear me now??" I ask, angry all over again. "You ain't so forward now huh??"
"Ced. I-I know I made a mistake. And it haunts me everyday. I didn't mean to." He sniffles.
"Well you did! You stuffed me in your car, and you took those pills, drank that lean and you choked me, and ripped my pants off and forced yourself inside me! You wouldn't stop! I cried and screamed your name. I said please stop but you kept going... Harder and harder with every thrust. Then you layed on top of me... And came inside of me!! Then you yanked your RAW penis out of my virgin ass!" I was yelling, and crying into the phone.
"Ced please stop!" He tries to convince me to stop talking about this.
"You didn't listen to me. After you finished, I layed there bleeding, I could feel the blood stinging my skin that you mad tender and raw. I said "Hykeem please, I'm bleeding" and you told me to take it like a man, and you stepped out of the car and you smoked a cigarette." I continue.
"I had no idea. I am so sorry please forgive me I'll do anything for your forgiveness." He cries.
"Shut the fuck up crying and listen to this!" I yell.
He says nothing.
"I was fourteen years old, Hykeem. Fourteen. And you took, no you stole my virginity. That's something I can't ever get back." I say, wiping my nose and eyes.
"Ced I promise you I stopped all that shit man.. I'm different now. Please tell me you forgive me." He continues whining.
"You dropped me off... I limped away from your car. Without a kiss goodbye or anything. I had to lie to my parents and say I fell down the bleachers. That was the most humiliating moment of my life."
"I understand that, but-"
"Nigga what??? You do NOT understand! You don't understand what it feels like, to have your intestines ripped, and filled with another mans fucking semen! You don't know what its like to have this big strong quarterback pin you down to a car seat and fuck you, meanwhile you only weigh nintey-seven pounds and can't fight him off! You don't know. So don't say that shit." I continue letting out all of the pent up aggression I've held inside me for two years!
"Baby." He says.
"I ain't your baby!" I yell. "You know what, I don't even know why I answered your pathetic weak ass call. You are nothing to me. I never want to speak to you again. You should've graduated on time so I didn't have to deal with your presence at school, instead of searching for some ass cheeks to spread onto your face! Goodbye Hykeem.." I hang up.
I walk into my bathroom and I bend over the toilet and threw the fuck up. There's all that alcohol from last night. As I threw up, I cried uncontrollably until my abs ached and my eyes steamed a rich red, and my head was seconds away from exploding. Then I fell onto the floor of my bathroom and continued to silently sob.
A/N : You guys. Rape is real. Its not a fettish. Its not a good thing. If you are having unwanted sex with anyone by force, it is rape. Don't stay quiet. Talk to somebody about it. And certainly don't keep it a secret because that secret will haunt your whole life until it comes out. Even if the person who is raping you is your husband, boyfriend, wife, girlfriend, DEFEND YOURSELF && TELL SOMEBODY... rape is a crime and anyone who does it deserves consequences. DONT BE STUPID... TELL SOMEONE... AND BEAT THEY ASS WITH A FRYING PAN !!! OKAY BYE :)