I immediately recognized that deep voice, and my head shot up to meet the silver gaze that I had dreamed of at nights. Jasper Whitlock's Confederate uniform was, as I was relieved to see, not nearly as blood-stained as most of the other ones, and he was standing up straight without any support. I was certain that he must have been born proud and graceful.
"Well, I have to thank you twice as much, then, Miss Ellwood." Mr Gibbs said grinningly, and I wondered how he knew my name, but I did not ask. "For you have not only saved my life, but also my general's. And it's hard finding one like him again."
Unbelievably I stared at Jasper Whitlock. General? At this age? Impressive indeed.
Made uncomfortable by his gratitude and Jasper Whitlock's presence, I finished attending his wound and straightened up again. Now that the moment I had dreamed of several times had finally occurred, I did not know what to do. Jasper Whitlock was here, yes, but what now? His presence disconcerted me, and I was only too aware of my appearance: My hair was hanging wildly around me, sweat running down my body and mixing with the blood.
I took a step towards him and wanted to look at his hurt arm, but he waved me off. "Take care of the severely wounded first, Miss Ellwood. I can wait."
I hurried down the steps to treat the soldiers in the garden now, and heard his steady, confident steps behind me. As I bent down to the next injured, I asked him, feeling his presence behind me: "What happened?"
"We are at war now, Miss Ellwood. The Souther Confederate States against the Northern Union. Battles aren't won by words, and bullets have a much deeper impact. Kentucky happens to be a border state, so it is a most dangerous area to be. If you somehow can, then get away from here."
"That had been my father's intention, but the armies were quicker. Who knows what will happen now. I doubt Father will tolerate battles on his grounds, and his grounds are the state. As you yourself have phrased, he is a patriot - and he will not tolerate the Southern States uprising."
"I would think he expects the same from you."
"Yes." I dared not look at him. Somehow, he managed anyways to see right down into my soul.
"But you are not sharing his opinion, for you hate to think of America as divided. You are readily helping both the fronts' soldiers here on the same estate, although you know that your father would not only disapprove would he be here, but also shoot every Confederate."
I jumped at his words, even though he had spoken them calmly, as if it were skirmish. I had never been so close to such brutal acts of war, and the thought of my father or anybody else killing men aside the battlefield was horrible.
I was done with treating the injuries, and turned to Jasper Whitlock so I could now take care of his wound. He seemed reluctant first, then he eventually let me.
"You and every other man able to walk should leave as soon as possible. I do not know when my father will come back."
"The others will, but I will stay. I won't leave even one of my men behind."
I admired him. It was foolish, of course, but who could help but admire such a man? They were rare enough.
"Have you got a possibility of getting your men back to your army?"
"There is no army left to return to, Miss Ellwood, at least none within fifty miles from here."
I looked at him in shock, and I saw the grim determination on his handsome face. I noticed that he shaved, despite the fashion of beards. It only emphasized his gorgeous face even more, I thought, biting my lips for such thoughts.
"What for?" I cried out in despair. "Why are Americans now fighting against Americans? Where is the point in this?"
"Miss Ellwood, I greatly cherish your intellect, but I am afraid there is yet a lot you have to learn."
"Indeed there is, Mr Whitlock, but kindly explain to me how I am supposed to understand anything of this war when nobody will ever tell me anything? In case you hadn't noticed, I am a woman, and the sad truth is that women aren't seen as worthy of understanding warfare." I hissed, and only then realised that I had just more or less poured my frustration out to a man who was more or less a stranger. And an enemy at that.
"Personally I have never understood why it is believed women can't rule a gun." He remarked drily, and took the wind out of my sails. "You are the best example that a woman is of at least as much use in war as a man."
I was speechless, something that had never happened to me before. Luckily I was spared from an answer when a messenger came riding into the yard, kicking up the dust behind him. "Marianne Ellwood!"
I stepped towards the man on his horse. "Yes." I could not let Marianne come out now, I could not afford any trouble. One word of her and all the Confederate soldiers would be sent to their doom, should the messenger spread the word.
So I took the envelope from his hand and ripped it open, not caring that it was addressed to my sister.
Marianne,
I have heard of some disturbances in Kentucky, and I hope that the three of you are all in good health. Your mother and I have decided to return as soon as possible, and we hope to arrive by Monday. We will take the twelve o'clock train and be with you at one.
Tell your sisters to pack their things, as we shall leave earlier than originally planned. It is getting too dangerous for you in Barbourville.
Your loving father
I let out a breath, having held it for the past minute. If I hadn't gotten hold of this letter before Marianne...Then I looked up to the sky. Midday. I would have one hour to get around fifteen Confederates off these premises, half of them unable to walk. Impossible.
I frantically thought of any other way out of this dilemma. I let my gaze wander over the wounded men, some of them starting to recover, talking to each other... The thought of them being killed just after I had saved them was too cruel to bear.
"Sarah!" I called, and my voice had nothing of a lady's anymore. It sounded like a commander, and that was really what I was doing; I had taken over command, and I had never before felt so free. "Help me getting the Confederate's out of their uniform."
"My lady?"
"Father will arrive here in one hour." I said in an explanation's stead and hurried to the soldiers. "See if you can find any Union's uniforms. Harold, take these and burn them somewhere my father won't find out."
That would hardly be enough... my father would never believe that half these men had lost or gotten rid of their uniform. I needed more proof... I didn't have nearly as much time as I would have needed.
"Mr Whitlock..."
"I know, my lady, but you will not make me a Union soldier." He replied, and he did not look as if he would ever give up his scarlet uniform. It was what he believed in, and Jasper Whitlock would not give his beliefs up, that I knew. He would die for them if necessary, and that I could not tolerate.
"You have the choice, Mr Whitlock; either you stay with your men and change your uniform, or you keep your redcoat and leave. You're endangering every man here by your presence." Not to mention me... He stayed completely unmoved. I realised I had no chance of changing his mind once it was made up, and turned back to the house.
"Miss Ellwood, I hope you know what you're doing, for I have no idea of how you plan this to work out."
"Sarah, I'm afraid to say that I haven't, either." Feeling the exhaustion take over my body and soul, I opened the door and entered the villa. I was insane, I must be. I collapsed on the couch in the salon, and wondered how soldiers could endure endless marches, hours of battling... I was already worn out after only one noon of tending wounds.
I was dangerously close to falling asleep when I heard the proud stride on the wooden panels of the entrance hall. Immediately I was awake again, and I straightened my back to sit as dignified as I could. I did not even notice the impoliteness of walking into strangers' houses, but was just glad that Jasper Whitlock had come after me.
He sat down opposite me and said: "What you have done out there for the soldiers..."
"Anybody in my stead would have."
"Your sister for one would not, and I could name you many more. You are taking a risk by helping us, and for that I want to thank you."
I had to bite back the reply that for him, I would take many more risks, but I simply nodded.
"If I should ever find a way to repay you, I will."
"You do not need to repay me anything, Mr Whitlock." I replied softly and looked into his entrancing silver eyes. I was glad that I was seated, for I felt my knees getting weak even now. Then I noticed with surprise; "You have decided to abandon your uniform, after all."
"Only for you, Miss Ellwood. I would not get you into any more trouble than you already are by forcing a Confederate upon you."
For the first time when speaking with a man, I blushed and avoided his eyes. "Thank you."
Just, I heard hooves on the pebble road. Father and Mother had come early, too early. It was too late to change anything now.
I stood up. Jasper Whitlock accompanied me to the door, and we stood before it a short while in silence before I whisperd: "If something should go wrong... Take me hostage. They won't stop you then."
"Miss Ellwood, do you have any idea what you are suggesting there?"
"I don't think I do, but that doesn't matter. Everything that does matter is that you get away safely." Before he could inquire as to why I would took so much upon me to save him, I opened the door and walked towards my parents to welcome them. I felt Jasper Whitlock's eyes on me as I did, and I prayed everything would go well.
"Georgiana! Darling, is everything alright? Where are your sisters?" My mother asked, and the panic in her voice was obvious.
"We are all in perfect health, I assure you, Mother. Marianne and Susannah are upstairs." Mama hurried inside, oblivious to all the soldiers on her porch. Papa was not. "Georgiana, what has happened here?!"
"There has been a battle, Papa, just here at Barbourville. I took the liberty of attending the soldiers' wounds." I bowed my head like an obedient daughter, something that always worked. I dared to raise my eyes as to watch my father, who let his gaze wander over the injured, then looked at me again. "Only Union soldiers, I hope?"
"Of course, Papa."
Father smiled, then beckoned me to him and kissed the top of my head. "You are a good daughter, Georgiana. Now I will have to go and take their names..."
"Oh, I already have, Papa." I volunteered quickly. I was worried that one of the men might reveal too much, so I tried to keep the contact between them and my father limited to a minimum.
I felt my heart sting unpleasantly as I saw my father smile proudly at me. It was so undeserved, and I felt like a traitor... but it was nothing against the prospect of Jasper Whitlock's death. As long as he was safe, everything would be alright.
"I'll arrange everything necessary to take them back to the front. You have done a great job, Georgiana, and I am proud of you." Papa said as he walked inside, nodding encouragingly at the soldiers, half of them his enemies.
I let out a relieved breath when the doors closed behind him. Jasper Whitlock appeared at my side. "My men and I will leave now. I have taken care that those unable to walk will get away, too. Simply tell your father that they had been well enough to walk, so he will not wonder where they have gone. I thank you, Miss Ellwood, for all you have done." He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it, then disappeared again the moment I was called inside.
......§......
21st March 1861
I still feel the tingling of my skin where his lips had touched my skin... The thought of never seeing him again is almost unbearable.
I don't even know why I feel this way. It is irrational and I should stop thinking about Jasper Whitlock immediately.
But his eyes hold me captive...
......§......
5th June 1861
I am the greatest fools of all, I am certain of it. I had always been proud of my intellect and sense, but I fear that I have lost both. Months have passed, and I still think about him...
Despair takes hold of me whenever I think of never seeing him again, and I am close to crying out when I imagine that he might be dead...
......................................................
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