So guys, I hope you liked my last chapters.
Imma try to do a fanfic fail of Harry Potter, and I think it really WILL fail because I've never done a fanfic on Harry Potter before.
Oh, and just to clear things up a bit, the fanficion fail thing isn't, like, totally cliché stuff, although it might include some cliché things that happen.
But my fanfic fails thing is, like, the worst way to write a story, like, the plot totally having no sense, and the character's personalities a bit messed up to the extreme.
Just wanted to make it clearer...unless it confused you more.
Oh, whatever, hope you enjoy!
(also, maybe if this fanfiction is failed enough, it miiight be posted on a separate, waay more popular story by tashbumblebee , who was running a contest on an amaaazing book, link here>>https://www.wattpad.com/story/52020818-things-that-put-me-off-fanfiction-harry-potter...but im not sure if she's still doing that...?)
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Hullo. My name is Lily Potter.
But it's just a coincidence, of course I'm not the sister of Harry Potter. That would be dumb!
Anyways, we live in the same house because my parents were killed by Voldemort when I was just a baby but I survived and I was taken in by my extremely nice aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon and my favorite cousin Dudley.
So right now Harry and I are in our 4th year at hogwarts and Harry and I were invited by the Weasles's to that place about broomsticks and stuff and there would be some competition.
OMG, I am SUCH a fan of that game with brooms!
Anyways, the Weasels came to pick us up-
what?
You say their name is Weasley?
Pfft, no, I know the Weasel's last name isn't Weasley, that's stupid!
Anyways, finally, Mr. Weasel, Ron, and the twins came through the fireplace, nearly giving the dursley's a heart attack, but of course that they recieved them ever so kindly because they are such niiice people.
Unlike the Weasels. They are really mean, but Harry says their nice.
"So are we leaving yet?"
"Of course we are!! Come on help us with the bags" said George.
Ugh, I can't believe they actually need help, they should carry it alone, duh!
"So, did you have a nice summer?" asked Fred.
"OMG, you KNOW I did! Why do you even care!" I answered.
I can't believe they hate me so much!
What did I ever do to them?!
"Ok then. Come on. Don't get into a fuss, mate"
"Fine, but mate, then I'll mate mate mate mate, because mate mate mate mate and mate mate mate after mate we'll mate mate mate so we mate mate mate to mate mate mate after mate mate" I said.
Anyways, we went to the tournament and all the players were HORRIBLE!! I mean, I can fly better than that!
I can even beat Harry at flying!
I mean, duhh, everyone knows that, but I still can't believe that I suck so much at everything.
When we were celebrating back at the pathetic little tent we were staying in, there were some fires outside and then, OMG IT'S THE DEATH EATERS!!
THEY ARE MY ROLE MODELS THEY ARE SUPER COOL!!
But of course I'm not gonna join them because that would be evil.
MWA-HA-HA-HA I"m not EVILLL, I could NEVER do that!
So then I run with the twins and Ginny towards a clearing and then George hugs me and he said that he loves me so much and then of course I have to say that I love him to because I do and also because it is much more convenient to like him rather than Fred because he doesn't die later.
Oops, no one's supposed to know that.
Also, I'm a Seer and I can see everything in the future.
There is no fogginess or ' I think' s for me.
I know everything in the future, but I just HATE divination class!
It's sooooo boring and I can't understand ANYTHING!
I mean, who even believes in telling the future!?
Anyways, then I blacked out and the next thing I know we're at the hogwarts train station.
The train ride was it's usual boring self with the troll lady, whoops, I mean the lady with the candy trolley coming around with gross stuff like pumpkin pasties which taste like...ewww pumpkin! And more horrid stuff like chocolate frogs which taste like...eewwwwww chocolate!!
So once I find a compartement, and I thought that I was alone, but then I see that harry and Malfoy are kissing and then I scream, "DRARRY!!" and snap a picture with my super new iphone 6s and run away.
And then when I go to sit with Fred and George, because George is my new boyfriend, we start kissing and then we snog all the way to Hogwarts, and Fred is just playing with some fireworks.
Sigh, if only he knew that soon he had only about a year to live...
Well, who cares.
So once we got to hogwarts, Professor dumbly-something said something or other about this something where we could only do something if we were some kind of age and then he said that there was this something cup and if we won this somethingy then we would win that something cup which would give us some kind of glory.
I think he was talking about the Triwizard cup.
So our classes passed super fast and it was soooo boorring because that's how it is at Hogwarts, I would give ANYTHING to go back to my normal uncle and aunt and my super nice cousin Dudley.
But then it all changed when one day as I was walking down the hallways Malfoy cornered me and then he kissed me because he said he liked me.
"I thought you were kissing Harry?" I asked him.
"Oh no, that was my good twin." he answered.
So, obviously, since Malfoy is waaaaaaay better than George I broke up with him and now Malfoy was my new boyfriend.
Of course, that didn't last long because then after the first task where harry beat this dragon I rounded a corner and then I saw that Hermione and Malfoy were kissing a lot, so then I snapped another picture and I screamed, " OMG DRAMIONE!!"
And then Ginny came out of nowhere and then we both started screaming about ships and all that super cool stuff.
So then I had to break up with Malfoy because he was cheating on me, so I went back to George because he was heartbroken and he missed me.
Through the year, Harry kept doing a bunch of these tasks and some other people from other schools also did stuff, but I could have done it better than all of them.
Actually, one day I remember that Vincent Krumbs( I think that was the name of that broom game player) kissed me and said that he liked me, but he liked Hermione better, so then I said that's ok because I don't like him back.
The last task was coming up and everyone was nervous, I wonder why?
We were all just waiting in the stands while Harry and everyone went inside this maze, so while they went and had so much fun, we had to stay over here being bored out of our skulls, so to pass the time, I broke up with George, and went to Neville because I also liked him and then I kissed him and he became my new boyfriend.
Finally, there was a big commotion and Dumbledore said that Cedric was dead.
Oh bummer, he was next on my list of boyfriends.
So anyways, that's not important, because later we found out that this guy named Moldymorts had come back.
At least I think his name was Moldymorts...
It could have been Voldyshmorts
Or Goldiemort...
Anyways, that's not important either.
At the end of the feast, we were all leaving and then Mrs. Weasels came and said I was her daughter and my real name is Lily Weasley, which is strange because I was pretty sure their last name was Weasel.
Ugh, does that mean I have to call them the Weasley's now?
But anyways, that was good news because now I could date Harry because he wasn't my brother or long lost relative so then we kissed and then I broke up with him because I wanted to go back to George, but Ginny was mad at me because that's the emotinal person she is.
Anyways, that was my fourth year at Hogwarts.
IT WAS SUPER COOL!!
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Hai guys!!
I tried my best with this one, I hope it's stupid enough.
The comments will come next!
BTW, no I do NOT ship Drarry or Dramione because that is as stupid as crap. I just put it in there because it's well, it's supposed to be a fail.
You knew that.