Mikey's pov
We pulled into the driveway of our new house. It wasn't a bad house, it was actually pretty nice. Gerard was zoned out and mom was chatting away with Dad on the phone. I decide to get out of the car and go into the back yard. A pretty nice yard, with woods in the back. Although there is a huge fence running horizontal across the yards. Kind of ruins the cliché family setting.
I sit down, leaning on a big tree. We now live in a pretty big plan. It's not like one of those "rich" plans as people say, but we have everything we need.
I honestly hated the fact we were moving. I was going to be far away from Josh. Josh is perfect. He has gorgeous hair, on the longer side, and it's black. He has deep blue eyes. They are like a blue ocean with light dancing in the water. I get lost inside them sometimes. It's strange though, he says he has a "girlfriend" but he told me that he's confused about his sexuality. He tells me everything. But now that we're far away we most likely wont talk a lot. Which breaks my heart. He was the guy I was in love with.
I tried to explain these feelings to Gerard, but he told me that love was just something in the mind. He was always so soft about this love thing. I never really understood that. Love was love, you can't just say it's not real. I guess Gerard just hates it.
Well, he hated most things.
I hate everything right now. Even Gerard. Wow, I'm even starting to sound like him. Of course he's my brother and I'd take a bullet for him but I think he's happy for once that we're moving. If I were him I would be happy too. He did get beat up alot in our old town.
Gerard worries me a lot. He doesn't really have any friends. Except me, and Gwen. Gwen, she's something. Something annoying. He's also severely depressed. He's suicidal too. The day I found that out was horrid.
*flashback*
I walked into his room, his door was open.
"Gee? Dinners ready!" I call.
He was nowhere in sight.
I walk around the room, but something caught my eye.
On his desk was his drawing pad. The first page was blank. It usually was never blank. It usually had something he had been working on.
"I shouldn't worry about this but why is it bothering me so?" I ask myself out loud.
I flipped to the next page. I was a picture of a rope.
What?
I was hesitant to flip to the next page, but I had too. The rope was tied into those two knots. Like the suicide knots.
The next page
A hand holding the rope.
I feel my stomach churn.
The next page
A tree with the rope tied to it.
What that fuck?
I felt my body uncontrollably shaking
The next page
A black figure hanging from the tree.
It was the tree at the park. The place he loved the most.
The next page
A zoom up to the figure
It was Gerard.
I stumbled back, and let out a low screech.
I flipped to the next page. It was a note.
"To whom it may concern,
My life has been utterly terrible, and I think it's time for it to end. No on will care, as I think it will make things better.
Mikey- you may have my room, and my drawings, but do me one favor. Please put the picture on the next page on my grave. I would appreciate it.
By the time you read this, I'll be long gone. So, farewell.
Much love, gxoxo"
By now I was shaking and the notebook was wet with my tears. I ran outside down the street and into the woods. I saw him. On the tree he drew. He had a smile on his face. Maybe he was happy now, no. No he can't die yet.
I ran to the tree. And let out a sob.
I grabbed his hand
I checked his pulse
It was a low pulse... BUT HE WAS ALIVE!
*end of flashback*
Luckily he didn't succeed with the attempt.
********
Gerard's p.o.v
I saw Mikey sprint out of the car and into the back yard.
I really didn't want to take my head phones out, but I could see my mother trying to get my attention to take them out.
"What?" I snap at her.
"Go find your brother, then go picks your room when you find him." She pointed towards the back yard.
I opened the car door and sighed.
I walked back to the back yard and looked around.
Mikey was sitting by a tree. He had his head his lap.
So I decide to walk up to him.
"What's up bro?" I asked.
He looked up, his eyes were red and puffy.
"What do you want?" He hissed.
"I was just coming to tell you that mom wants us to pick our rooms, so we can unpack." I said.
He nodded. I walked toward the house with him about 20 feet behind me. We walked back to the front and walked through the front door, to our mom standing there.
"What's up?" I asked
"Go pick your rooms."
I nodded.
Me and Mikey rushed deeper into the house, unsure where the bedrooms were exactly.
I walk down a hall and there is a medium size room and its white, with hard wood flooring. There is another room, across the hall, that's a little bit bigger, and is black. I decide I want that room. "I WANT THIS ONE." I yell. My yell echoes through the house.
"I found a different room!" Mikey yells. I follow the sound of his voice to a totally different section of the house. The room is a tad bit bigger than mine. It's red.
"No Mikey that's ours." Dad points out. Mikey pouts.
"Mikes, there is a room that's nice across the hall from mine." I say. He glares at me.
"Thanks." He mutters, and walks away.
I walk into my room and sit on the floor, At least the walls are already black. I wonder why Mikey's is acting so strange. Maybe because its from my almost recent attempt at suicide. He saved my life. My parents got me into therapy, but now that we moved, I can't see that therapist anymore.
***
"Hey mikey, can we talk?" I ask knocking on his door.
"How about, no." Mikey yells through the door.
"Why are you so mad?" I yell.
"I'm not." He says with sass
"Then why won't you talk to me?!" I screamed, on the urge of tears.
I never cry.
Well, maybe like once a month, I hate crying.
But it's energy moving.
You can't control that sometimes,
With that in mind, I cry.
I hear him sigh through the door.
I guess he heard me.
"Gerard, come in" Mikey sighs.
I open the door and sit on the floor next to him.
"Why do you hate me all a sudden?" I sniff.
"I couldn't hate you even if I tried." He says looking into my eyes.
"Then why are you acting like it?" I accuse.
"You almost died, my brother, the one I love and look up to. Gone, dead, forever in heaven. Not alive-"
"I'm stupid for trying that. I'm so sorry, I realized that I needed to stay here until I finish my work with the world, dying will be an adventure. So is life. But you have to finish one, before you start another.
Mikey looked at me, starred me in the eye.
"I'll forgive you, if you promise, not to try to do that again, don't do it, even though it doesn't seem like it now, it would be terrible. Mom and dad would be crushed, Gwen would be utterly depressed, and I would commit suicide too. That would make everything even more worse. Do you want that?" He asked. He was not crying. I never see him cry.
"No, never." I say. I lean in and hug him, "but if I did, which I won't, NEVER commit suicide. It's a terrible, twisted thing. I would never want you to do it."
"Then why would you?" He asks. Good question.
"Because I'm a terrible twisted person." I say with a chuckle.
He laughs, "Gerard, you're an amazing person."
I roll my eyes, "okay, but you're more amazing."
"This is why I look up to you." He says.
I kiss the top of his head.
"I love you baby bro." I say getting up.
I walk into my room. If anything, I should look up to him.