Hannah strolled back home in silence, Ben walking next to her. Maybe he was wondering why she was so absent, but actually her brother was a bit quiet himself. She would have liked to share with him how this evening with Josh had confused her – more specifically, how his sudden growing spurt had ramped up her dormant hormones – but perhaps she wasn’t ready for Ben to know yet. Still, it felt weird not to say anything to him. She always talked to Ben about everything that was on her mind, and he was the same with her.
She looked up to see some people sitting on the porch of the neighboring house, their faces illuminated by the large candle on the table they were sitting at.
“Hey, there’s Ivy,” Ben said, finally waking up again. He waved at the new neighbors and pulled Hannah along to their front porch. “Let’s go and say hi.”
“Hi, Ben,” Ivy said with a smile, getting up. “Look, Amber, Ben’s sister is here too.” She nudged her sister, who was engrossed in a book.
“Oh, hello,” Amber said shyly. She had red hair, like Ivy. Hannah shook hands with the girls and their parents.
“Paul Greene,” the father of the girls introduced himself. “Have you just arrived?”
Sarah, their mother, poured coffee for the two visitors. They sat down on one of the porch benches and told the neighbors enthusiastic stories about their previous summers in St. Mary’s Port.
Hannah’s gaze wandered to the book Amber still had in her lap. “Herbal Remedies,” she read aloud. “Are you reading that for fun, or as part of a curriculum?”
Amber shrugged. “I’m going to study naturopathy after the summer, but I haven’t started yet. So I guess that makes it for fun.”
Hannah chuckled. Yup, she and Amber would get along well. “Well, if you like picking herbs and wild plants, you should help me and Ben sometime. We’re going to organize a barbecue with some friends from the reservation soon. We used to do that at the lake every summer. Ben and Josh would catch fresh fish, and Emily and I would pick berries. We were real hunter-gatherers.”
“We’d love to join you! I could make myself useful by cleaning the fish. I had a job at the fish market once, for no other reason than desperately needing the money. I guess I’m an expert by now.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “Thank God you’re here. I always have to help Josh gutting the trout, but I don’t have a big thing for entrails.”
“And I can bait fish like nobody’s business,” Ivy supplied with a grin.
Hannah pouted. “What? Is nobody going to help me pick berries?”
Ben chuckled, a large grin taking up his whole face. “Oh, don’t worry. Josh will help you out. I bet you won’t mind going into the woods with him.”
“Shut up.” Hannah felt herself turning red. Swallowing hard, she avoided Ben’s gaze after giving him a withering look.
In the meantime, Paul and Sarah cleared away their coffee cups and wished everyone goodnight. After one more drink, Ivy and Amber decided to turn in for the night as well, and Hannah and Ben got up to leave. “See you soon,” Ben said, waving at the two girls disappearing inside.
They walked back to their own cabin in awkward silence, and both sat down on the porch steps saying nothing. Finally, Ben cleared his throat. “Uhm... I wasn’t serious or anything.” He lit a cigarette. “You know, about that stuff.”
“What stuff?” She was trying to sound clueless on purpose. She knew exactly what Ben was talking about.
“About the woods.” Ben glanced sideways. “About Josh. I didn’t want to tick you off.”
Hannah shifted. She couldn’t really deny Ben’s joke had made her uncomfortable – he’d seen her go red. On the other hand, she could hardly admit now that the idea of running off into the woods with Josh was kind of a turn-on for her. She had practically bitten Ben’s head off when he suggested it.
“You didn’t tick me off,” she finally said, because Ben kept staring at her, his face a big question mark.
“Then what?”
Hannah sighed. She brushed an imaginary speck of dust from her skirt. “I felt caught.”
“Something’s up between you and Josh.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. So he wasn’t oblivious to the tension passing between them after all. Hannah looked sideways, suddenly so nervous she wished she could take a drag of Ben’s cigarette. He followed her gaze and held out his cigarette. “Want to share?”
“No, thanks. I shouldn’t start smoking again.”
Ben shrugged. “So – what’s going on?” he continued.
“I don’t know,” Hannah muttered, staring at a dark stain in the wooden floor of the porch, suddenly thinking of Josh’s birthmark.
She looked up when her brother chuckled softly. Ben held her gaze. “How do you feel about him? Come on, tell me.” He had a sparkle in his eyes.
“I don’t know… maybe,” she mumbled softly.
“Maybe what?” Ben put an arm around her shoulders.
“So maybe I like him.” She snatched the cigarette from Ben’s fingers. “Just one drag,” she grumbled, displeased with herself and her bad habits.
Ben gave her a warm smile. “I’m sorry, sis. I’ll stop goading you, okay? No more stupid questions from Ben tonight.”
Together, they finished the last bit of the cigarette and then went into the cabin for a good, long night’s sleep.
The next morning, Hannah was woken up by bright sunlight streaming in through the window, shining directly in her face. That was right – she didn’t close the curtains yesterday. Groaning, she turned her back to the window.
Still a bit groggy, Hannah heard Ben talking on the phone in the kitchen. “No, she’s still asleep. I’ll say hello to her when she wakes up. How’s Paris?”
That must be Katie on the phone. Her brother’s girlfriend was touring Europe by train during her summer break. Paris was the third city on her list.
“Shall I check whether she’s awake yet?” a familiar voice suddenly sounded. Hannah sat up straight, heart pounding in her chest. Then she changed her mind, lay down again, pulled the blanket over her face and peeked out from underneath, her eyelids almost closed.
Her bedroom door opened slowly. Josh stuck his head around the corner.
Hannah tried to breathe evenly, feigning sleep, but her breath faltered when she saw Josh enter the room wearing next to nothing. Through her eyelashes, she took in his faded jeans, the turquoise and silver pendant hanging from a chain around his neck, and his bare chest. Yup, no T-shirt. It wasn’t fair. How was she supposed to act normally around him if he kept walking around like that?
She didn’t make a sound and kept still. All of a sudden, she wondered why Josh didn’t move either. He kept staring at her without saying anything. Maybe he could sense she was just pretending to be asleep. Hannah stopped breathing altogether now, and observed the look on his face.
A hint of a smile crossed his lips. Josh took a step forward, bent down and gently stroked her cheek with one thumb, just for a few seconds. Hannah quickly closed both eyes when he came near, and when she finally dared opening one eye again, he’d quietly left the room as if he’d never been there.
She listened absent-mindedly to one end of the conversation between Ben and Katie on the phone. How long were Ben and Josh going to hang around in the cabin? She was eager to talk to Josh, but the thought of having him around all morning made her nervous.
Oh, geez. She was really into Josh. She couldn’t deny it.
Hannah sat up straight, staring at herself in the mirror on the wall above her bed. She’d been in a steady relationship for years. It had been a while since she’d fallen in love. Was it even real? After all, what did she really know about the new, seventeen-year-old Josh? The thirteen-year-old boy from four summers ago seemed like a different person.
She got dressed slowly, trying to get the creases out of her red linen dress. She put on a pair of black flip-flops and quickly dragged a comb through her hair before stepping out of the room. After all, there was no reason to show herself sporting a disastrous hairdo yet again.
“Good morning,” she hollered upon entering the kitchen. Ben and Josh looked up from their breakfast plates with wide grins. “Enjoy,” she went on with a glance at the pile of pancakes on the table.
“Did you sleep well?” Ben asked.
“Like a log.”
“Would you like some pancakes too?” Josh asked, nodding at the pile.
“In a minute. First I’ll grab some O.J., and then I’ll have a shower.”
“Why did you get dressed if you still need to take a shower?” Ben asked with a grin. “Were you wearing silly pajamas unfit for public display?”
“Didn’t have any on. I forgot to pack them,” Hannah said without thinking. Ben shot an amused glance at Josh, who gave Hannah a shy look in return. After all, he’d been in her bedroom not five minutes ago, although she wasn’t supposed to know that. She could feel her cheeks flush and quickly turned around to pour herself some juice from the carton on the counter. “I’ll buy a pair of PJs in the village later on. And while I’m at it, can I get you guys anything?”
Ben chuckled. “How about getting us some more fishing rods?”
Hannah glared at him. “Sure, I’ll get the neighbors new fishing rods so I’ll be my own berry-picking team for the barbecue.”
Josh looked up. “What barbecue?”
“Why don’t you tell him about our barbecue plans while I hit the shower?” Hannah quickly left the kitchen before Ben could crack any more jokes about berry-picking and teaming up with Josh in the woods.
With warm water from the shower running down her back, Hannah quietly hummed a tune she’d been working on a few weeks ago. She hadn’t played it to Ben yet, but she would, once she’d come up with some lyrics. It probably wouldn’t take long, because she had plenty of time now.
When she got back to the kitchen freshly showered and made-up, the breakfast table was empty. That was a bit disappointing – Ben and Josh had already left without saying goodbye. She sat down to make herself a pancake with butter and syrup, whistling along to the radio. Still whistling, she walked to the fridge to get some more orange juice, pouring herself a large glass. When she closed the fridge door, Josh was suddenly back in the kitchen, standing right next to her.
“Oh, hi,” she said, a bit taken aback. “I thought the two of you had already left.”
“We’re leaving in a minute.” He smiled at her. Hannah shuffled past him and sat down at the table again. She took a large swig of juice and cut off a piece of her pancake. She looked up. Josh was leaning against the kitchen counter, resting his hands on either side, staring back at her. She swallowed hard. Wasn’t this silence awkward? Maybe she should make conversation.
“Do you want some?” she asked, pointing at the pancakes in front of her. “I can’t finish them all by myself.”
He shook his head. “No, thanks. I’m full.”
Hannah put the fork in her mouth and slowly chewed a bit of pancake.
“So, what do you think?” Josh asked, a small smile dancing on his lips.
“They’re tasty,” she mumbled with her mouth full. She looked back at him, and then it clicked. “Did you make them?”
“Yep. I used special flour from the rez. Don’t look so baffled, I have so many talents you have yet to discover.” He sported a cocky grin, and Hannah blinked, literally forcing the blood away from her face. He was doing it on purpose, she could feel it.
“So it would seem.” She laughed nervously. “Well, at least they taste a lot better than Ben’s baking blunders.”
“Hey, that sounds like a cool name for a bakery. Can’t you just picture it on the store sign - ‘Ben’s Baking Blunders’?” He made a stately gesture.
Hannah burst out giggling, nearly choking on her pancake. Josh quickly walked over to her and carefully patted her back. “Are you okay? I’m sorry I’m so hilarious.”
“You’re too modest.” Hannah coughed, caught her breath again and looked up at him, registering that his hand was still on her back. It made her insides turn to goo.
Right at that moment, Ben entered the kitchen. “I found the air beds,” he told Josh, his gaze wandering from Josh’s hand to Hannah’s flustered face. Why did she feel like he’d caught her doing something naughty?
Josh let his hand fall from her back, taking a step toward Ben. “Good, let’s go then,” he said, suddenly in a hurry.
He joined Ben and they clattered out of the kitchen. “See you tonight,” Ben shouted over his shoulder. “I’m cooking for us. You can invite Emily too!”
“Yeah, I will.” She didn’t dare ask anymore who exactly was included in ‘us’.
At noon, Hannah threw her cell phone, keys, and purse into her handbag and pulled the door shut. It didn’t take long to find Grassroots, the vegetarian restaurant in the village center. Her gaze drifted to a Navajo girl sitting at a small table outside.
“Uhm... Emily?” she ventured.
The girl looked up from the magazine she’d been reading, and a wide smile appeared on her face. “Hannah!” she exclaimed enthusiastically, getting to her feet. “You’re back!”
“Em!” Hannah hugged her old friend tightly. “It’s so wonderful to see you again. You look good.”
“Well, I should look good. I just had four weeks of vacation, so I’m still well-rested. But I also really enjoy my new job. I finished my studies in Tuba City two months ago, and I still had four weeks off before starting my job at the practice. I went camping next to the lake near Navajo Mountain with my sister, and after that Yazzie and Josh helped me build my own hoghan in Naabi’aani. I don’t live with my parents anymore.”
It turned out nothing had changed in the past four years. Em still talked at two hundred miles an hour.
They went inside, chatting excitedly, and chose a table near the window. Emily ordered the day’s special for the two of them and poured Hannah a glass of water from the jug on the table.
“Hey, Josh wears a feather like that in his hair as well,” Hannah commented when Emily’s hair bands caught her eye. Her friend had little bright-red feathers in her plaited hair.
“That’s right. His father’s clan is my mother’s clan. Feather People.” Emily shrugged. “Well, I don’t mind Josh copied my style. It looks good on him, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, it does.” Hannah blushed. Of course, anything would look good on him. If Josh decided to wear a bucket on his head she would still think it looked sexy. Quickly, she gulped down some water and stared intently at the menu. “Oh, by the way, Ben invited you to dinner tonight. He’s going to cook for us.”
Emily’s face twisted. “Ben is going to cook?”
“He’s going to try. No problem, we’ll help him. Besides, we still have some leftover pancakes from breakfast. Josh made them, with special flour from the rez.”
Yup, she was babbling. About Josh. When she was supposed to ask Em about herself, not tell her about her latest Navajo obsession. She was a bad friend.
“I bet Josh is going to have a good time at Diné College,” Emily said. “I really liked the campus. I had a marvelous time there as a student.”
“So Josh is going to Tuba City as well? He did tell us he was going to study after the summer, but he didn’t say where.”
“Yeah, it’s about time he went to a reservation school. He was sort of rebellious during his senior year at Page High School.”
“Oh, really? How so?”
“The usual. Kicking against standard American culture, disobeying rules going against his traditional upbringing, refusing to use his last name on tests because the Diné don’t even originally use the binomial system.” Emily used the word the Navajos used for themselves in their own language. “When Josh and his band played this ‘anti-U.S.’ song by Blackfire – that’s a Diné band – he offended the entire teaching staff. Blackfire’s lyrics aren’t exactly... subtle.”
Hannah smiled. “You sound like you sort of enjoyed their rebellion.”
Emily grinned. “Oh, come on. Every generation needs rebels. Leave that to the Rezboyz.”
“The Rezboyz? Sounds cool. What does Josh play in the band?”
“He plays the guitar. Amazingly well, by the way. I can’t believe he picked it up so fast. He sounded like a pro.”
Great. Emily was unwittingly fueling her feelings for Josh even more by showering praise on his musical skills. This was driving her nuts. It was time to discuss a different subject. “By the way, we’re going to have a barbecue on Friday. We invited our new neighbors too.”
“Sounds like fun. Count me in.”
“Which days of the week are you off? I’d love to drop by in Naabi’aani again, so I can admire your hoghan.”
“Drop by on Saturday. I’m not working then, plus there’s a dance and a rodeo. Remember Hosteen, our old neighbor? His family is organizing it.”
After a nice lunch, their waitress put the check on the table, and Hannah and Emily dug around in their bags to find some cash.
“What time are you off today?” Hannah asked.
“Around seven. I’ll see you after that. And I’ll bring dessert, okay?”
The girls hugged each other tightly before Emily went into the pharmacy. Then, Hannah made her way to St Mary’s small main street for her second mission of the day – buying PJs she deemed fit for public display.