Cody:
Plopping herself down on Merinda’s bed, Alli propped her elbows on her knees for support as she leaned forward, trying to get a closer look of the beautiful figure that was sleeping peacefully on the bed―one that I initially had absolutely no intention to hurt; one that I hope I still could call mine after what happened.
I was worried sick, and the tension in this room most definitely wasn’t easing anything inside of me. I could tell Alli was beginning to grow impatient due to the stress she was imposing onto herself the moment she heaved a loud, airy sigh.
She pulled herself back up enough to slap both of her palms across her thighs, imitating Merinda and what she would do if she were to be too anxious over something.
“Mer, do you know what time it is?” Alli began, curling her fingers into her palm as they settled finely above her knees. “Is that a yes?” She paused, as though expecting a respond from Merinda, which was obviously impossible. “I’ll take it as a no. So I’ll take this as my cue to warn you that it’s time you wake up from bed, and open your big eyes and look at my face, you woman.”
As grateful as I was, to know that I actually have her as Merinda’s wake up call, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of emotion in me that told me I should at least tell Alli to detract her words and stay silent, if she could.
“Alli, I think you’re disturbing her…” I mumbled in a hushed tone, fearful of being heard by anyone, even if it were just me and Alli in the same room as Merinda.
“Do I look like I give a shit?” Alli harshly spat, turning around to face me the moment I had ended my statement. “I’m not the dipshit for a guy who would rather walk out on his own girlfriend with some female dog who’s dumb like a box of rocks, or even worse, and even treat her like she’s invisible when she’s supposed to be at the top of your priorities.”
I rolled my lips into my mouth and dropped my gaze down to my shoes like a little boy who had been caught doing something wrong, and was reflecting on his unethical behavior. You deserved that, I reminded myself, you truly did, even if you were the one who had saved her from the bathroom.
I closed my eyes.
“You screwed up, bro,” Justin honestly stated, staring at me as he shook his head, “you really, really did.” Then his gaze moved down to the girl lying down on my lap, and without another word being said, he walked towards his own bunk and I couldn’t help allowing my eyes to linger after where he had once stood.
What did I do wrong? I kept asking myself, trying to find an answer but to no avail. I didn’t know what I had done wrong. Clearly Kelsey was a fan, a clingy one, and I truly did dislike her but after all, she was my fan… and most of the time, I never do neglect any of them.
So how could I just leave Kelsey alone at a side, sobbing, while I went with my own girlfriend to be happy? I just can’t bear to see my own Angel being sad. I was just trying to be a good idol for someone.
Kelsey stirred in her sleep, but my eyes didn’t avert to her. Instead, they slowly made their way towards a pair of cold, piercing blue ones that stung right through my own eyes. Alli looked probably half as pissed as a lion ready to hunt for food, and was currently looking at its prey, ready to claim it.
I could see her jaws clenching from where I was sitting, and even though I had so many questions to ask her about Merinda’s sudden switch of moods, I decided to just remain quiet in case something worse happens. I wouldn’t want that.
Her penetrating eyes were shooting daggers at me, and I couldn’t take it anymore, I tore mine away from hers and eased myself by staring at the wall behind her. I’m such a wimp.
“You f-ing asshole,” she calmly stated, and I could feel her gaze boring right through me, “if anything bad happens to her, it’ll be your fault. And I don’t care if it’s her illness that takes the best of her, it’s still your fault for you have not done what you’re supposed to do as her boyfriend, and have yet to carry out what you promised her mother you would.”
I reconnected our eyes.
“And before I actually leave you with…” She eyed Kelsey before rolling her eyes. “Cody, I’m really disappointed in you. I thought you knew better, but, clearly, you proved me wrong. And there’s proof too―Merinda.”
My eyelids fluttered open, and Alli’s words traveled from one side of my mind to the other as I tried calming down by drawing in deep breaths. I remembered the moment I rung up Diane, when I’d just found out about Merinda’s health condition.
“Um, Diane?”
“Cody?” Merinda’s Mom was evidently taken by surprise by my sudden phone call to her. “Is everything fine over there?”
“Yes,” I smoothly responded immediately, leaving no time for hesitation. “Everything is going well. But I just have a question, I would like for your approval.”
“What would that be?”
“I just found out that Merinda’s suffering from kidney cancer… and I’m thinking of bringing chemotherapy to her, instead of her going for it. I can’t stand the thought of her having to go through all of the pain that could be cured after a period of time.”
“Wait, what do you mean ‘you just found out’? Didn’t she tell you before that?” Diane was confused, and somehow, it seemed just like that she had managed to send me some confusion. What was she talking about?
“Um, no… I’d unintentionally overheard the both of you talking over the phone, and I’d like to do something about it.”
“Cody, do you know what Merinda has in mind of her illness? She wishes to live life to the fullest before she knows she has no more time left, and if that’s her only wish before death, then I will not stop her. I believe she’s old enough to make certain decisions herself.”
“But don’t you want her to live longer? Stay by your side?” I struggled to retort, trying to win this argument. I had to have her agree, regardless of anything. “Don’t you want to have a healthy daughter? Diane, we still have time to cure her sickness.”
“Of course I want my daughter to be healthy, to live longer and stay by me! But that’s also not the thing, Cody. We do not have enough money to settle it, and things would be a struggle if we really want to do it.”
“Money isn’t a problem, I’ll settle it. And if you would just say yes, I’ll ring up my doctor and start telling him about what he’s going to do. He would be coming with us on tour to care for Merinda’s health and to give her proper treatment.”
“May I know who the doctor is?”
“His surname is Anderson. That’s all I know, really. He’s been my family doctor ever since I was born.”
“All right, Cody. Yes, I’ll allow you to settle this, and thank you in advance for letting me know about it.”
“Thank you, Diane. And in case you’re wondering, everything here is going well and I’m trying my best to give Merinda all that I have, so don’t worry.”
My eyebrows furrowed together tightly, and my hands gradually turned into fists. I should be caring for my own girlfriend at this moment, I shouldn’t be standing here like the blockhead that I am. I grounded my teeth and drew in another deep breath, before letting it all out and walking towards Alli who had her back facing me.
“Alli, can you let me spend some time with Merinda?” I quietly asked, wishing she wouldn’t protest and shoot me back with words.
But Alli being Alli, a defensive, loyal best friend, she just had to. “Why? So that you could whisper sweet things into her ear and lure her back to you just so you could hurt her once again? Jesus, Cody, no!”
“I just want to do my part and care for her!” I yelled in protest, no more bothered by the fact that if I was going to wake Merinda up or not. Alli was being so difficult that it was infuriating. “I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend ever, but I want to try and I’m trying, but you down here are not giving me a chance to prove myself!”
“Because you proved me wrong once, brother,” Alli stared at me sharply, “because you proved me wrong once, I’m afraid there might be a second. I don’t want a second time. I don’t want this happening again.”
“I’m not perfect,” I grumbled, taking a step forward. “You’re my sister. Of all people who should know that, you should be the one who should’ve gotten that a long time ago.”
“Whoever said I didn’t? It’s because I know you so damn well, that I know you can be better. But basing on your current behavior?” She blew out air from her nose in incredulity. “You don’t even deserve Merinda to be your girlfriend.”
“That’s why I’m trying to give her everything I fucking have, Alli! I know I don’t deserve her, that she deserves better, but at least give me a chance to shower her with the love I have before moving on to making other decisions! I know you’re trying to help, Alli, but at the moment it seems just like you’re trying to tear us apart.”
Her eyes had never once left mine, which only made the atmosphere and every other thing twice as intense as it was before. I know my last few words wasn’t the case, but to me it seemed just like so, and to prove to me that it really wasn’t the case, Alli left the room without a word, and I slowly carefully quietly made my way forward, slipping beneath the covers of the bed, right next to Merinda.
Her soft breathing next to my ear was rhythmic, and I couldn’t help my eyes from admiring her pretty face―sharp cheekbones, kissable lips, little button nose, and flawless skin. I adored every inch of her, and that was no doubt.
My hand absentmindedly reached up to run my fingers down her soft, dirty blonde hair that felt so smooth against my skin, making it impossible for me to stop raking them through her hair within a minute.
But the more my eyes skimmed her face, the more mental images of her furious self just a few hours back would slowly sneak onto my mind, making my heart drop as regret filled my insides. What have I done to her?
“Mer, I don’t know if you can hear this, but… I just want you to know that I’m sorry, and I really hope you would forgive me for what I have done. I’d neglected you and I’m sorry. But I promise not to do you wrong anymore, if you would just give me a second chance.”
“Mer, what’s taking you so long?” Alli cried melodramatically outside of the bathroom door, with her knees bent over trying to contain her pee. “Hello! I need the bathroom, woman!”
Matt stared at Alli, before shifting his eyes to me, and averting them back to her. “How long has she been in it?”
Oh, shit. Oh, shit! Slowly pushing Kelsey’s head up from my lap, I quickly rushed up from the sofa and towards Alli who moved aside for me to force a respond out of Merinda. What’s going on?
“Merinda, is everything okay in there?” I asked, trying not to allow fear to consume me but it wasn’t really working too well. I asked again. I was growing petrified by the second. “Merinda, is everything okay?”
Silence.
“Fuck,” I whispered under my breath, fiddling with the door handle. She had locked it, great! Just great. Oh, God, please don’t allow anything bad to happen to her or I’ll blame myself for the rest of my existence in this world. Turning to Matt, I asked him if there was a key to open the bathroom door, in panic.
My hands were running cold as I tried patiently waiting for him to return with the key.
Alli behind me was whimpering in fear, and it wasn’t really helping my own as well but to make sure everything doesn’t worsen, I stayed strong and tried to contain the fear from being too obvious on my face. I clasped my hands together tightly and tried not to over-think about the possibilities of what could’ve happened to Merinda in the bathroom.
Making his way quickly towards me, Matt passed me the key and very quickly, without fumbling with it to lose more time, I slid the key into the keyhole and did a hundred and eighty degrees turn to unlock the door. As terrified as I was to know what had went on inside, I had to man the hell up and find out exactly what had happened and when I did…
I felt my heart twisting contortedly; a huge, heavy knot forming in the pit of my stomach that made my worry the biggest burden ever.
Seeing Merinda’s lifeless body sprawled across the tiny space of the bathroom hurt me endlessly. Though my feet felt stiff on the ground, the only thing I really wanted to do was Merinda up and out of the stuffy place. I’ve never realized just how much I truly needed her until this moment, the moment that awakened me to the truth hiding behind everything.
I needed her in my life―I don’t know what I would do without her. Ignoring the tears springing up to my eyes, I stepped inside and bent over, circling my arms around her waist and behind her knees to pull her up.
I shook everything away, clearing my mind for what I truly needed was right by my side at the moment and that’s all I’m going to care about now. I leaned down and pressed my lips lightly against her soft, warm ones.
“I can’t live without you, I love you.”
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A/N: Hey guys! How are you? Hehe. I know, I know you know I don't usually write these stuff bc I'm too straightforward and hate ending with author's note (bc I'll usually type them out very, very long, and bc I'm awkward, and tbh it's awkward to me, writing this) but I just had to write it out.
1: I know this chapter may have seemed rushed, but trust me, it's the way I had planned it out. As OriginalAussieNinja has actually pointed out in the previous chapter, I was supposed to push all of these back further but to solve everything quickly for this book to proceed on better, I decided to write this out. But don't worry, everything will be slowed down (again) in the next chapter so yeah, I hope I've cleared everything up :)
2: Have y'all realized I haven't dedicated chapters to anyone? It's because I'm waiting for this book to end, so that I'll be able to find the person who has given me the best, long comment that made my day (literally whole of it) on a chapter, to have that particular chapter dedicated to them! Soooo if you really do like this book... why don't you show some love; save it to your library, vote and comment? :D
It honestly makes my day knowing that you guys enjoy what I write. I hope I've improved on writing lol, as compared to my other stories ahaha and really, I'm gonna end my short novel right about now.
Thank you all so much for reading this book from the start, voting, commenting and saving it to your libraries! I truly appreciate them, and... well, expect the next long-bottom author's note in the epilogue of this book :)
Much love! xo