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Abhi's POV:
I am not attending this marriage, Abhi!" she said, her voice sharp and trembling. I almost opened my mouth to ask why, but then I stopped.
One look at her, and I understood the storm in her mind. She was scared-a feeling that the new Shivani couldn't escape, but the old Shivani never knew.
I looked at her and felt proud. Even though fear was crashing over her like waves, she sat there, holding herself together. Her head was bowed down, but she was fighting to stay calm.
I got up and knelt in front of her, but she still didn't meet my eyes.
"Tell me, love," I said softly, "when a cancer patient survives, do they look down in guilt for getting cancer? Or do we, as doctors, look at them with disgust?"
She shook her head, still staring at the floor.
"Exactly," I continued. "They don't feel shame or guilt. Instead, they fight with everything they have to overcome it, to heal, and do justice to their body. And we, as doctors, admire them for their courage, for how bravely they fought and won."
" Just like them you are a surviver too Shivani, Always remember, moon, you're not a victim to bow down in shame but a survivor, strong enough to look anyone in the eye," I reminded her, gently lifting her chin with my finger, making her meet my gaze. Her eyes instantly filled with tears.
"He's too clever, Shivani," I said, my voice growing colder with each word. "He knows only you hold the truth, and he's manipulated you so well that he's sure you won't be a threat to him. He counts on your fears to keep you silent."
I paused, my tone hardening. "But we have to prove him wrong, Shivani. You have to fight for your justice. You have to face him to claim it."
My eyes stayed locked on her face the entire time. Every word I said made her breathe sharply until, at last, she shut her eyes tight and looked away.
"I don't want to face him, Abhi. I don't want justice," she said, her voice full of frustration. Her words left me speechless, yet my anger simmered beneath the surface.
Was she even listening to herself?
"Are you even hearing what you're saying, Shivani?" I asked, my voice rising in anger.
"I know exactly what I'm saying, Abhi," she shot back, just as angry.
"Then hear me out, sweetheart," I shouted, unable to hold back. "Justice toh mai tumhe dilakar hi rahunga!"
[ I will make sure you get justice, no matter what.]
Her face stayed emotionless, as I shouted and turned ready to walk away, while anger surged through me like fire.
I had almost reached the door, my hand ready to turn the knob, when Shivani's broken voice stopped me.
"This Shivani doesn't want justice, Abhi. This Shivani just wants you. There's nothing peaceful in my life except for you. I lost you once, and I don't want to lose you again." A sob escaped her as she spoke, making me close my eyes in regret.
"I know you think I'm strong, Abhi, but you'd be disappointed to know that I'm not. I can't face him. I can't bear his presence, and I can't even imagine losing you."
"Damn it, Abhi," I cursed inwardly. I shouldn't have yelled like that.
I turned back to see her sitting on the sofa, sobbing burring her face into her hands. Taking a sharp breath, I walked towards her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted like that."
She continued to sob, saying nothing. "I'm sorry, Moon. Nothing will change; you won't lose me And you're stronger than you think, Shivani. You just need to realise it," I said, holding her close.
She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "No, Abhi, I don't want to face him. I don't want anything from him, and I am not going to this marriage." Her voice was desperate and pleading.
Then, suddenly, she looked up at me, her hand gripping mine tightly. "You're not going either. I don't want him anywhere near you, Abhi." Her eyes, once filled with tears, were now fierce with anger. It was clear she was overwhelmed by her emotions and utterly exhausted.
"We're not going, right, Abhi? Please say na we're not going. I don't want to go, and I won't let you go either, I can't face him, I don't want to be anywhere near him please Abhi" she begged, her words coming out in a frantic rush, a result of her trauma.
" Shhhhhh" I wishpered rubbing her back and sighed in defeat. "Okay, love, we're not going. Everything will be as you want." I said on my words she stopped and blinded rapidly to clear her vision as she searched my eyes for sincerity.
As she saw that I was sincere, her anger and frar faded, revealing the innocence still present in her eyes despite everything she had been through. "Come on, let's go to sleep," I said, kissing her forehead as her hiccups slowly faded.
May be I was lost in my thoughts because I heard her calling me "Abhi," she called in a voice that could make me do anything for her. She spread her arms, signaling me to pick her up.
I smiled. Despite the tension in the room, her actions lifted my spirits. Gently, I lifted her into my arms. "You know, right?" I asked.
"Know what?" she replied.
"That voice of yours is my weakness. It can make me do anything," I said, carrying her upstairs.
She laughed, and the warmth in my heart grew. "Really?" she asked, amused as we reached our room.
"Yes, really," I replied, setting her down on the bed and kissing her forehead once more making her smile.
"Then Abhi, please, let's not go to Rishikesh," she pleaded, her eyes becoming glossy. She still seemed stuck in her distress.
"We won't," I assured her, wrapping my arms around her as we lay back on the bed together.
Her face rested on my chest, but she shifted slightly to look at me, leaning on her elbow. "My promise?" she asked, her eyes narrowing as if seeking confirmation.
"Yes, as long as you don't want to go, we won't," I replied, observing her closely as her tense expression gradually relaxed.
"I don't want to face that monster, so there's no chance," she said, lying back and snuggling closer, her arms wrapping around me.
The room fell silent, with only the sound of our breathing. As I watched her sleep, the tension seemed to melt away, and her features softened. I continued to stroke her hair, a new habit of mine that, surprisingly, brought me a sense of calm as much as it did for her.
"he told no one will ever accept me, not even you"
"I could feel my body going numb. I was there, I could see everything, but I couldn't move. I couldn't fight back."
"I know you think I'm strong, Abhi, but you'd be disappointed to know that I'm not. I can't face him. I can't bear his presence, and I can't even imagine losing you."
"I don't want to face that monster, so there's no chance,"
Her words kept echoing in my mind. I was relieved to see her sleeping peacefully, but sleep seemed far from me.
My thoughts drifted back to the video call I had with her therapist on the day of Vivek's engagement, just before we left.
"I understand, Dr. Abhimanyu," she had said, "we all want her to recover, but she needs time. These kinds of experiences leave deep wounds on the soul, and when someone struggles to open up about them, it makes healing that much harder." This was her answer when I asked why, after all these years, she was still having panic attacks.
"I know you might think it was Shivani who came to me for help, but you'd be surprised to know it was actually me who approached her. I found her in the parking lot of our building, going through a panic attack," she had told shocking me.
"He's manipulated her so deeply, Dr. Abhimanyu, that even when she wants to break free from that fear, she can't," she continued. "He's made her believe that everything was her fault, that she has been ruined by him and she is equally dirty as he is, her most dangerous fear is that people like us would be disgusted by her."
And I remember this was the exact reason why she was pushing me out of her life.
"I'm happy to hear she's opening up to you, letting you in. But it's no surprise to me, knowing how much she loves you," she said. "I know I have no right to interfere in your personal life, but I'm glad you two are together. The pain of being away from you was hurting her even more than what she went through. She loves you in a way no one else could, and I'm relieved you're with her now."
"After Shivani, you're the one who can help her overcome all of this. But we need to be patient with her. You'll have to give her gentle nudges to help her face her fears, but make sure they're healthy ones, not something that adds to her trauma." Were her therapist's last words.
I was both surprised and relieved to learn that Shivani was seeing a therapist, even though she was based in Bangalore. Shivani had mentioned that the idea of keeping a diary came from her therapist.
Her therapist and I went over her medical history, and I discovered that she was supposed to stop taking her medication a long time ago. However, doing so was only made her condition worse so she is still continuing them.
I looked down at the beauty sleeping peacefully in my arms. God knows how long it had been since she slept this soundly. Propping myself up on my elbows, I took a closer look at her face.
Her eyes were closed, with her long lashes brushing her cheeks, and her lips slightly parted. Her chest rose and fell gently with each soft breath. I inched closer, my eyes lingering on her red lips, but I pressed a tender kiss to her forehead instead, knowing she needed more time.
The urge to protect her is just increasing day by day. How could someone so fragile have endured so much? I gently traced her eyelids, careful not to wake her.
A small frown appeared on her forehead, and I bit back a smile as it softened when my fingers brushed across it. Just as I was about to pull away, she grabbed my hand, turning completely toward me. I looked at her to see if she woke up but she was still sleeping.
Smiling, I slowly withdrew my hand and stroked her hair, whispering, "How can I convince you to face him? How do I make you realise the strength you hold, Shivani? How can I help you see yourself the way I see you, to understand how truly beautiful you are, inside and out-that nothing can tarnish your pure soul? How can I bring back the strong, confident Shivani you once were?" My voice was desperate but low.
I sighed as she continued to sleep, completely undisturbed, as if nothing in the world was troubling her. It made me smile. "You're driving me crazy," I mumbled, lying back and pulling her closer into my arms.
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A week later (in the hospital)
"I need the reports for the patient in room 303," I said, handing the file to Shivani sorry Dr. Shivani.
"Sure, Dr. Abhi," she replied, taking it from me."Anything else?" she asked, already heading towards the door. I nodded seriously, folding my arms and leaning against the desk."Yes, please send my wife in on your way out," I said, waiting for her reaction.
"Okay, Dr. Abhi," she said smoothly, making me raise an eyebrow in amusement. She walked towards the door but stopped suddenly, making me hold back a smile. "Wait a minute, but I'm only your wife," she added, turning back to me.
She wore her white coat over a black kurti, her hair in a messy bun, but it was her eyes that caught my attention. They sparkled brightly, as if she hadn't shed a tear the night before. That thought saddened me. How many nights had she cried without me by her side, only to smile the next day like nothing was wrong? How many times had she cried in the same house as me, and I never even noticed?
She was looking professional wearing a white coat over her black kurti, her hair pulled into a messy bun. But what caught my attention was her bright, shining eyes, as if she hadn't cried the night before because of her nightmare.
It saddened me to think about how many nights she must have cried in silence, only to greet the next day with a smile as though nothing had happened. How many nights had she been in the same house with me, hiding her tears so well that I never noticed?
"How am I supposed to do that?" Shivani's voice interrupted my thoughts, and I looked up to see her pouting. A sudden realization struck me: Damn! She is mine the thought hit me hard making my heart skip few beats.
This is not something new I discovered but every time I realize it my heart, liver, kidney every part of my body swells with happiness.
Biting back a smile I shrugged, which only seemed to make her ponder more deeply. Seeing her calm and happy was so soothing. "Okay, I have an idea," she finally said, and walked out the door, leaving me puzzled.
What idea? I wondered, staring at the now-closed door. Less than a minute later, she came back in, but this time without her white coat. Her hair was loose, and her nuptial chain rested gently on her chest.
She moved towards me, and it felt like everything was happening in slow motion, each step deliberate and purposeful.
"So, what was it, Mr. Dikshit? Why were you calling me?" she asked, flipping her hair as she reached me.I blinked a few times, surprised. It seems the 's' in her name stands for surprises because she never fails to amaze me.
I moved a little closer and wrapped my arms around her neck with a smile. She did the same. "What's going on today? My wife seems to have a lot of love for me."
"I always have love for you" She replied burring her face in the crook of my neck. We haven't met each other since morning busy in our hectic schedule.
"Missed me?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her petite frame. She nodded, which made me chuckle. I used to wonder how people could miss someone they saw just the day before, but now that I have a wife I never let out of my sight, I understand what it's like to miss someone even after a few hours.
We've grown closer since she opened up about her past. It seems she's finally released the burden she's been carrying. I tried to convince her to go to Rishikesh, but every attempt ended in tears. It worries me, and I'm not sure what to do.
"You didn't miss me?" I heard Shivani's voice, and saw her glaring at me."No, no, of course I did," I replied quickly.
"I was just thinking about something, love."She hugged me again, and then asked, "Oh, what is it, Abhi?" Before I could respond, there was a knock on the door."Sir, you asked me to bring these files," said Vikram on the door.
Hearing him, Shivani tried to break the hug, but I tightened my hold, making her wiggle in my arms."Abhi, Vikram is here. Let me go," she whispered, sounding almost like she was pleading."No," I said, holding her tighter. "Why? I'm not doing anything wrong. You're my wife," I said with a grin.
"I know, but we're doing the right thing in the wrong place. We're in a hospital," she reminded me."That doesn't change the fact that you're my wife," I said."Come in, Vikram," I said with a smirk, causing Shivani's eyes to widen.
As the door opened, Shivani dropped her forehead onto my chest in defeat and then hugged me tightly, as if trying to hide. Her eyes were shut tightly. It was adorable."Sir, these files-" Vikram started but stopped mid-sentence. "Oh my God, sir-"Before he could start making a scene, I gave him a stern look and shook my head.
I love teasing my wife but won't let her feel embarrassed.He understood and, walking quietly, placed the files on my desk. "I've left them here," he said in a normal voice."Okay, got it," I replied.
If "awww, they're so cute" had a face, it would be Vikram's right now. Instead of leaving, he was admiring us.
"You can go, Vikram," I reminded him, signaling for him to wait outside. Vikram and I needed to discuss a few things.
Noting my stern expression, he nodded and headed for the door but didn't leave before saying, "I saw nothing." What should I do with him?
I loosened my hold on Shivani, and she pushed me away angrily. "You are so bad."
I laughed. "Don't worry, he didn't see you. You were hiding well," I teased, making her face turn red.
"I won't talk to you," Shivani declared, turning away with a hint of annoyance. I quickly reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her from walking away.
"Hold on, let me make it up to you," I said, gently brushing the baby hairs from her face that were falling over her eyes. "How was your day?"
"It was boring until-"
"Until what?" I prompted, curious.
"Until now," she said with a mischievous wink. "I actually enjoyed the hug, thanks to Vikram."
Her unexpected comment caused my jaw to drop in surprise. She laughed at my stunned reaction and walked out of the room, leaving me standing there with a stupid, contented grin on my face. I shook my head, amused and still smiling at the playful exchange.
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Shivani's POV:
"Now this feels good," I sighed, sinking into the soft embrace of my bed. After a long, tiring day, being back home felt like the best reward. The warm water from my shower had washed away the day's exhaustion, and all I wanted now was to drift into a peaceful sleep.
Abhi and I had made dinner together, but the truth was, I felt too drained to even think about eating.As soon as my head hit the pillow and I closed my eyes, I heard the bathroom door creak open. Abhi stepped out, a towel in hand, vigorously drying his damp hair. His wet curls clung to his forehead, and his t-shirt stuck slightly to his skin from the steam of the shower.
"Don't even think about sleeping yet, moon. I'm going to get dinner and we'll eat here," he said in a gentle but firm tone.I barely managed a hum of acknowledgment, my body already surrendering to the comfort of sleep. My eyes had closed of their own accord, and the world around me faded.Not even a minute had passed when I heard Abhi's voice again, breaking through my hazy, half-asleep state.
"Shivani, wake up! The food's here," he said. His voice was soft, but there was that undeniable hint of persistence in it, the kind I knew too well.With a groan, I forced my heavy eyelids open, only to see Abhi setting down two plates of food on the bed.
The aroma hit me immediately-warm, comforting, and tempting. But even that wasn't enough to shake off the sleepiness that clung to me like a blanket."Abhi, please, I'll eat later," I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper as I sank back into the pillows."Later?" he scoffed, raising an eyebrow.
"What, tomorrow? Come on, it's already late. We should have eaten hours ago." His voice had that playful edge, but I knew he wasn't going to let this go.With a dramatic sigh, I sat up, rubbing my eyes like a reluctant child being woken up for school. Abhi smiled, clearly amused by my exaggerated grumbling.
"That's my girl," he teased, sitting beside me. "Now, open your mouth."I crossed my arms, still feeling a bit annoyed that he had pulled me out of my much-needed nap. "I'm still mad at you for waking me up," I said, closing my eyes again, determined to show my displeasure.Abhi chuckled softly.
"Okay, but you can be mad while eating. Here," he said, holding a spoonful of food up to my mouth.Reluctantly, I opened my mouth, refusing to give in entirely. I chewed slowly, my eyes still shut in protest.
The taste of the food hit my tongue, and despite my mood, I couldn't help but enjoy it."Good, right?" Abhi asked, his voice softer now, as if knowing I wouldn't be able to resist much longer.I didn't reply, but I could feel the corners of my mouth twitching, betraying my act of annoyance.
"Anvi had called" now this made me open my eyes. "Are you trying to ignore her love? Are you avoiding her?" He replied feeding himself a bite.
I looked at him nervously "no" I answered short and crisp.
"Then why aren't you answering her calls?" Abhi asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Uh... I was busy," I replied hurriedly. The truth was, I was avoiding Anvi. She wanted to talk about her wedding in Rishikesh, but I knew deep down that I wasn't going to be a part of it. I wanted to tell her, but I was too afraid of breaking her heart.
"If you can't say no to her, let's just attend the wedding. How long will you keep running away from him, Shivani? How long will you live in this fear? Don't you want to be free from it?" Abhi's frustration was sharp in his voice as he spoke. By now we had finished our dinner.
"If you want to talk about this, then I'm going to sleep," I said dismissively, lying back on the bed, avoiding his gaze.
"Yeah, run again. That's what you do, Shivani," he shot back, his tone harsh.
"So what do you want me to do? Go and face him?" I laughed bitterly. "What good will that do? I'm not strong enough to face him, Abhi. I'm not strong enough to go through another four years without you. I might die." Tears welled up in my eyes, but I didn't want to cry. "And if you're fed up with me, just leave me alone!" I shouted angrily, lying back and turning my back to him.
I knew Abhi wanted me to face my past, to go to the wedding and free myself from this fear. But he didn't understand-I didn't want to face him. I wasn't ready. Maybe I never would be. I knew my constant refusal was frustrating him, but I couldn't go through that pain again. Life had given me another chance with Abhi, and I couldn't risk losing him.
I shut my eyes tightly, letting the tears finally fall. My throat hurt from holding back my sobs.
I felt the mattress dip beside me, and I instinctively tried to move further away, shifting to my right.
Before I could get far, Abhi pulled me back into his chest, and with that, my sobs broke free.
"I'm sorry, please don't cry," Abhi murmured, stroking my hair gently.
"I told you, if you're fed up with me, just leave," I said, trying to wiggle out of his hold. But he only tightened his arms around me.
"I can never be fed up with you, love, how can you even think that. Infact I can never get enough of you " he whispered, placing a tender kiss on my forehead. "I won't bring up that topic again, I promise."
His words made me stop wiggling, and I tilted my head to look at him. "Stop crying now, please," he said, wiping the tears that slipped down my cheeks.
"You're bad," I said, still angry.
"I know," he replied, his tone soft.
"You were harsh," I complained.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, his eyes sincere.
"I'm not talking to you," I declared.
"I'll die if you don't," he said dramatically, making me roll my eyes.
"I hate you," I muttered.
"That hurts, but I love you," he said, kissing my head.
I hadn't even realized when I'd stopped crying in all this, but when I realized I had stopped crying more tears filled my eyes again.
"Nahi nahi, I hate you. Maine wapas roone dene ke liye thodi suna hai." he said, quickly wiping my tears. ( no no, i didn't heard your I hate you to let you cry again) "Are you trying to cry, or are you testing me?" he joked, rubbing my back.
"Are you comforting me, or making me cry more?" I asked, burying my face in his chest as I sobbed again.
"I'm trying to comfort you, but its working opposite on you," he replied confusingly, his hand moving soothingly along my back. Then, he hesitated. "Love... are your periods near?"
I nodded against his chest, feeling embarrassed.
"Oh, so that's why you're being cranky. No worries, rolo" (cry it out) he said, encouraging me to release all the emotions. And, thanks to those hormones, I did. I cried until there were no more tears left, and eventually, we both fell asleep, wrapped in each other's arms.
I don't know what time it was, but when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was engulfed in total darkness.
The room-or whatever place I was in-was completely black. There was no light, no shadow, nothing to break the endless void. My eyes strained to adjust, but there was no change; just the same oppressive, suffocating darkness.My fear of the dark, which I had thought I had overcome, surged back with an overwhelming force.
I tried to stay calm, telling myself it must be a bad dream. I hoped that if I waited long enough, I'd wake up in my own bed with the familiar surroundings. But no matter how long I waited, the darkness remained unyielding.In a desperate attempt to wake myself up, I reached out and pinched my arm hard.
The sharp sting of the pain confirmed that this was not a dream-IT WAS ALL TOO REAL. I winced and tried to focus, but the dark continued to press in from all sides.
As I looked around, I realized I had no idea where I was or how I got here. "I was with Abhi right?" The lack of any sound or movement only heightened my anxiety. My heart pounded in my chest, and a wave of panic swept over me.
The silence was deafening, amplifying my fear and confusion.My chest began to feel tight, as if a heavy weight was pressing down on me. Breathing became a struggle, each inhalation feeling laboured and difficult. My vision grew increasingly blurry, the edges of my sight turning indistinct.
The darkness seemed to press closer, almost as if it were a living entity encroaching upon me.I felt utterly trapped and overwhelmed. The fear was intense and all-consuming, leaving me with no clear way to escape the terrifying, unending void around me.
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Here's the next part, do let me know if you like it.
Where is Shivani? How did she got there? And where is Abhi?
Sorry but not sorry for the cliffhanger 😉
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That's all for today see you all in the next chapter.