She's standing there next to the bride, right across from me at the other end of the room.
She kneels down and helps her sister-in-law arrange the pleats on her saree. This causes her own saree to create a puddle of golden fabric around her. Right then, a little girl comes running up behind her and covers her eyes. And Fay, ignoring the fact that the girl had ruined her hair, picks her up and kisses both her cheeks. I recognize the little girl, it's Isra. She's Sahir and Fay's 5-year-old niece. I see Isra talking enthusiastically in Fay's arms, while she nods and smiles lovingly at the child.
Seeing her with Isra in her arms, I can't help but imagine what it'd be like if that were our child. I know right then, that this was a little more than a crush.
"Duuude, I'm getting married," Sahir moans, looking down at his sherwani.
"Technically, you're already married," I point out, referring to the Nikkah that took place earlier today, then continue, "but listen, you love Aasia. You told me you want her to be the mother of your children, which is serious shit. You want to be with her, and she wants to be with you. Everything will work out, just don't have a heart attack."
Sahir takes a deep breath, and I know he's heard me loud and clear. He looks at his wife from across the room. Aasia smiles reassuringly at Sahir, sensing her husband's anxiousness, and Sahir smiles back lovingly. I look to where Fay is standing, next to Aasia, and meet her eye. She sends a small smile my way, and I can't help but smile back.
"Just because I'm a nervous mess doesn't mean I haven't seen you eyeing up my sister all day," Sahir says, still smiling at his wife.
Not bothering to deny my growing infatuation with Fay, I shrug and say, "She's pretty."
Sahir looks away from Aasia and asks, "Just pretty?"
"I don't think you're interested in listening to my detailed rant about how attractive I find your sister, in terms of looks and otherwise," I answer honestly, my eyes roaming to the entrance of the community center rented out for the wedding. The guests were arriving; time to get the bride and groom onto the stage.
Sahir, with his nose scrunched up, says, his voice no longer nervous, "Yeah, I don't. You're my best friend, I trust you. But hurt Fay, and you're a dead man."
I nod, and Sahir looks satisfied. I bet, in his head, he's patting his own shoulder, priding himself in having done his part as the protective older brother. We hear commotion and look up to see that Fay is helping Aasia settle onto the sofa on the stage. I lead Sahir to the stage and leave him to sit on the sofa as I go and check on the photographers and DJ. Next, I welcome the few guests I recognize and then make my way to the kitchen. There, I check on the food and make sure everything will be ready on time.
* *
After the couple was photographed only over a hundred times, I posed with them along with Fay. Then, Sahir and I got a picture taken of just us, on his cousin, Maria's, insistence, so we could 'add pictures to the memoir of our bromance,' as she'd said.
Maria is a wonderful person- one that didn't deserve the curse that is her husband. I'd come by a handful of assholes, but her husband was, by far, one of the worst. With two kids and a full-time job, it often seemed like her husband simply existed to leech off of her hard work.
Sadly, thus is the purpose of certain people's existence.
Another two hours of happiness and festivities passed by before it was time for the newlyweds to go home. Everyone gathered outside to convey their final congratulations.
And as per tradition, the bride's father has Sahir promise to keep Aasia feeling safe, happy, and loved, followed by a threat if Sahir is to do anything but just that.
I watch a teary Aasia hug her parents and climb into the wedding car, which is adorned with flowers and ribbons- something I had to get done earlier today, as part of my official duties as unofficial best man. Aasia's sister climbs in next; she'll be staying over at Sahir's house tonight and will help Aasia unpack her things and settle down. Finally, after Sahir has finished thanking the guests for attending, he climbs into the car as well and the car drives away, bringing an end to the wedding.
I walk back inside the recreation center, and help wrap things up. Whilst going around and tipping all the employees, I notice Fay picking up stray roses from the floor. I tip the last employee and make my way over to her.
As if sensing my presence, Fay straightens up and turns towards me. Looking only a little embarrassed, she sheepishly says, "Er, hi. I didn't want these flowers to go to waste, so yeah."
We're standing close now. Close yet still appropriate. I notice that she smells nice, of roses. It suits her.
I can't help but smile at her flustered expression when I reply, "You don't need to explain yourself. It's late, come on, you can drive home with me. I'll have someone gather all the extra flowers for you."
I call over an idle employee, asking him to gather the stray roses, and then tip him for his help.
Fay accepts the flowers from the young man and flashes him a bright smile, making him blush. I gesture for her to follow me as I make my way outside to the car I had rented out.
"Thank you," she says politely when I hold the passenger side door open for her. I murmur a reply and make my way over to the driver's side.
Closing the car door, I pull my seat belt on and notice that Fay seems to be in deep thought.
Clearing my throat, I softly instruct, "Seat belt please," and then start the car. The soft sound of classical music surrounds us but I don't bother turning it off. It might help things from getting awkward.
"Oh sorry," she says, pulling her own seat belt on, her expression a startled one.
Pulling out onto the highway, I ask, "Penny for your thoughts?" I do this mostly to ease the confused look on her face, but also to sate my curiosity.
"Hm, well, Sahir is married. I mean, obviously I've always known that he'd be getting married, but having been so busy with the wedding plans, I never stopped to realize that Aasia would be living with us. Now don't get me wrong, it'll be really nice to have her around, but woah, you know?" She rambles whilst her eyes gleam.
I turn off the music and open my mouth to reply, only to close it when I realize that Fay is sniffing. The gleam in her eyes, it's from the tears that fill them.
I slow the car down and grab a tissue box from the glove compartment and pass it to her. She murmurs a sorry, I think. I can't hear her over the confusion clouding my senses.
I decide to not say anything and turn the music back on.
I can't offer her comfort, so I might as well let her cry in peace. Oddly enough, I feel like she's glad of my decision to leave her be.
The atmosphere in the car for the next ten minutes is what I can only describe as comfortable melancholy- something I'm well acquainted with.
I occasionally look in Fay's direction to see her intently looking out the window. She isn't crying anymore but her eyes are still glazed over and she's clenching the tissues in her fist.
When I finally pull into the driveway of the Allee residence, Fay rushes out of the car and runs into her house, not even bothering to look my way. I put aside the bitterness I feel at being ignored by her and try and put her emotions before mine. I can't help but feel like Sahir's marriage isn't what's really upsetting her.
Parking the car, I walk into the house, locking the front door on my way in. I wish Sahir's family was a bit more cautious about these sort of things but I remind myself I can't force my opinions onto others.
Once I climb up the stairs to the second floor, I realize how tired I am. Dragging my feet to the guest room I'm staying at, I enter the ensuite bathroom to wash up. Feeling a little bit more awake, I change out of my sherwani and pull on a t-shirt and sweatpants.
With the intention to check up on Fay, I walk out of my room and make my way towards her room. The house is ridiculously quiet compared to what I expect a post-wedding household to be like. I'm assuming Sahir's parents are sleeping, and the couple themselves are somewhere doing things I'd rather not imagine. Once I'm standing in front of Fay's door, I wonder whether I should knock or not. Maybe she'd rather be alone. It's not like we're friends- or anything else for that matter.
Taking a deep breath, I start to walk back to my room but decide halfway down the hall that maybe she does need someone to talk to. Sighing at my own indecisiveness, I walk back to her door and knock lightly.
Feeling nervous and silly, for feeling nervous, I start regretting my decision to go through with this.
Maybe I can still walk away. She wouldn't know it was me- she probably wouldn't even suspect me.
I continue my mental debate for another minute or so and soon realize that Fay isn't actually going to open the door. Maybe she's asleep.
Dragging a hand over my face and sighing once again, I make my way over to my room.
Just as I go to open my door, I notice that the lights in the hallway closet are on. Making my way over, I slowly pull open the door to see a pajama-clad Fay rummaging through what looks like a drawer full of blankets.
I must've made a sound, because she stops what she's doing and turns around to face me.
"Oh, erm, hey," she lets out. She sounds blank; her expression is blank.
"Hey," I reply.
Looking uninterested in my presence, she turns away from me and continues to look for whatever it is she wants.
I feel annoyed, but quickly realize I have no right to feel so.
I clear my throat, and ask, "Are you alright?"
Fay let's out an audible sigh, and answers, without facing me, "Yeah."
She faces me and when she realizes I'm genuinely curious, her blank expression changes to one I can't name.
She signs again and says in a softer voice, "I don't know. I'm okay. It's just school."
"Medicine is hard," I blurt out, only to realize how stupid I must sound.
Fay smiles but her eyes don't show a trace of happiness.
"Medicine is hard," she admits.
She smiles that smile that expresses everything but happiness before grabbing a fluffy blue blanket from the drawer. She avoids eye contact and mutters a quick goodnight before walking out of the closet.
Without really noticing, I turn off the closet lights, close the door, and go back to my room.
My mind is buzzing but I'm not sure with what. Like most days, I know I need to think about certain things, but can't figure out how.
I know a few things for certain though:
I need to leave tomorrow if I plan on getting back to duty on time.
I'll be exhausted for weeks to come because of the work I've missed and need to make up for.
I need to get up early tomorrow and buy candy for Sahir's nieces and nephews. The kids were miserable and fussy at the wedding and I promised them candy for their cooperation.
Among the other things I mentally list, the last thing I think about before I doze off is how Fay doesn't want to be studying medicine.
She isn't happy and I want to do something about it. But I probably can't.
**
Sherwani: a knee-length coat buttoning to the neck, worn by men from South Asia, usually during events such as weddings.
Nikkah: The legal contract between a bride and groom as part of an Islamic marriage.