Supersecret Blog #2487: My best friend, Chip, is a secret agent.
There, I've said it.
Chip wasn't always a secret agent. I MADE him one. That's right, me, Nort McKrakken.
I did it using my supersecret, supercomplicated microthingy that is so supersecret that I can't even tell you what it's called. Okay, maybe I'll tell you later. But I'm NEVER going to tell Gert von Brugen from science class. (I'll tell you about her later too.)
First, a little background: My dad's kind of famous. You might already know that 'cause you probably recognized my last name. He's Colonel Brock McKrakken, head of McKrakken Security Systems.
Dad protects us from everything. That crazy oceanographer who wanted to put the whole city of Vortville underwater? Yep, dad stopped him. That power-mad architect who wanted to turn Vortville upside down? Dad's elite team of commandos stopped him too.
Dad used to be an actual colonel in the military, so he's real gung-ho about pushups and crewcuts and getting up at 4 a.m. He's always wanted me to be just like him when I got older, going to boot camp and running twenty miles with a two-hundred-pound backpack on and stuff. But I can barely carry my five-pound backpack without breaking out in a sweat on the way to school.
I'm actually the smallest kid at Vortville Middle School. That's partly because I skipped two grades since I'm really smart. (I'm ten years old and already in Grade 6.) But I'm just small, let's face it.
But I've always wanted to make my dad proud of me, even though I knew I'd never be a soldier like him. So, I figured maybe I could use my supersmartness to help him with his security business! Maybe I could show him how to fight crazy bad guys in a supercool sciency sort of way!
That's why I invented the C.H.I.P. (That's the name of the supersecret, supercomplicated microthingy I mentioned earlier. Told you I'd tell you later.) It stands for the Computerized Heroic Incredible Person. I know, that sounds stupid - that's why I shortened it to C.H.I.P. Anyway, it's a tiny little microchip that attaches to one of your teeth, and it sends signals up to your brain to program you to be able to do anything!
The thing is, there was no way I was going to try this on myself. Do you think I'm crazy?! A chip sending signals to my brain?! What if it made me freak out or something?!
No, I needed someone else to try it on.
Someone like my best friend Chip.
Lester "Chip" Munson has been my best friend since kindergarten - mainly 'cause nobody else wanted to be my friend. But Chip is the friendliest kid in the world. Everybody loves him. He's really big compared to other kids in our class, but that's probably because he got held back two grades. (He's fourteen years old and only in Grade 6.) But he was the biggest kid in our whole school even before he got held back.
But the main reason people like him is he'll do anything you ask him to. He'll eat a worm on a dare. He'll dive into a mud puddle with all his clothes on - and with them off too. (He got his nickname, Chip, by chipping a tooth doing a crazy stunt like that.) He'll even eat a whole apple, including the core. (Yeah, a lot of the crazy things he does involve eating.)
And yes, he even tried out my supersecret, superpowerful microthingy for me. After all, what are friends for?
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