"Jongin, everyone's going out to play. Are you coming along?" Minseok asked the said boy. Jongin had been sitting by the big window that overlooked the front yard, which was covered in a thick, white sheet of snow since he caught sight of the falling crystals. Winter had to be the children's favorite season, for they could step out of the orphanage; to play in the white-sheet setting and build snow mans. Everyone adored the cold weather; all except Jongin.
"No thanks hyung. I'll pass." Jongin said with a bittersweet smile. Minseok sighed, but patted him on the head softly before joining the other children who were currently putting on their winter-clothing. Jongin shifted his eyes towards the coat stand, eyes full of envy as he saw their calm and smiling faces.
Why can't I be that brave, he asked himself.
Jongin was currently suffering from a terrible disease, one called 'lack of confidence'. He was afraid of stepping out of the orphanage, simply because the world outside the four walls of the orphanage didn't seem so inviting to the boy. He found comfort in the place for it gave him a sense of security; something that had to develop over a long period of time. Since his birth, Jongin never had the chance to experience the things we like to call 'love' and 'family'.
In his young, innocent eyes, the orphanage was the only place that had accepted him; and so he vowed to never leave the place. But ever since he caught sight of sparkling crystals falling from the sky, Jongin's curiosity of the outside world grew, but he still had no intentions of stepping out into the icy atmosphere.
His friends in the orphanage had tried countless times, convincing Jongin that playing in the snow was fun; and that it was the highlight of the year, but the stubborn boy still refused, saying that he was very comfortable with just sitting by the window and watching the others play.
"But you'll never get to experience the snow. It's a wonderful feeling Jonginnie, and everyone deserves to see and feel snow." Minseok once told him, and hearing those words, Jongin did feel like he was missing out on something so wonderful. But he was still young, and he knew somehow, he would grow out of his fear and face the world.
What he did not expect, however, was his opportunity arriving so soon. Too soon.
When Bora, the helper at the orphanage, announced that her nephew would be coming to visit them; the tanned boy became excited, just because it meant meeting a new friend.
She told the children about her nephew; whom she described as a very caring and thoughtful boy; one having a very big and generous heart. Everyone was anticipating his visit, especially a certain sun-kissed boy.
And the day finally came.
It was the day before Christmas, and the orphanage was decorated beautifully; with colourful lights placed by the windows, delicious food placed on a long table which could seat all of the children, and a big Christmas tree, which was decorated with colourful ornaments and a shiny star right at the top.
Everyone was wearing white and light blue-coloured clothes, since the theme for their Christmas celebration was 'A White Christmas'. Jongin was wearing white jeans and a white button-up shirt, looking like a angel. Everyone was feeling happy and excited, since celebrations like these came rarely, and they were very fortunate that so many people helped out with the food and decorations.
Jongin and Minseok were busy snacking on the food when the doorbell rang, and Bora entered hand-in-hand with a doe-eyed boy, wearing all-white clothes and holding a big, stuffy bag. He was smiling so widely at everyone, with his eye big and sparkly, attracting everyone's attention, especially Jongin's.
"Everyone, this is Kyungsoo. He's come to give everyone presents!" Bora happily said, as she led Kyungsoo to the middle of the room, where the Christmas tree had been placed.
All the children were clapping happily, excited at the mention of 'presents'. Receiving Christmas presents was rare for them, which was why everyone was rushing towards Kyungsoo, forming a neat line right in front of the doe-eyed boy.
Jongin couldn't find any strength in his limbs to move; his eyes were focused on Kyungsoo. The said boy's big, sparkling eyes were so mesmerizing to Jongin. He found himself smiling whenever Kyungsoo would hand over a present, along with a pretty heart-shaped smile.
I'm glad I've always believed in angels, for I'm seeing one right now.
Still dazed, Jongin walked towards the line, his cheeks turning pink after brief eye-contact with his subject of admiration.
Minseok pulled Jongin towards the line, and the two waited patiently for their turn to receive a present.
The children lined up in front were all smiles after receiving presents, and Jongin felt himself smile as well, seeing that his friends were happy. Minseok was almost jumping on the spot, after catching glimpse of a huge baozi plushie, his excitement getting the better of him. The chinese bun held a special memory for the boy, a memory with his late mother.
As Jongin was nearing the front, he could hear Kyungsoo's adorable wishes to the children, along with his heart-shaped smile and crescent-shaped eyes.
"Merry Christmas, and may god bless you!" Kyungsoo said with a smile as he passed Minseok the baozi plushie, making the said boy burst into tears of happiness.
"T-thank you so much Kyungsoo!" Minseok said as he hugged the doe-eyed boy out of nowhere, surprising him but making him chuckle at the boy's cuteness.
After Bora lightly pulled the hiccupping Minseok from the line, Jongin looked up at Kyungsoo (since he was slightly taller), and their eyes met, both smiling at the same time.
"So, which toy does this handsome boy want?" Kyungsoo asked as he grabbed Jongin's hand, pulling him towards the pile of toys. Jongin's ears slightly reddened, hearing the not-so-subtle compliment from Kyungsoo. Furthermore, the doe-eyed boy had interlaced their hands together, which made the tanned boy flushed yet happy, and he honestly didn't know why.
Maybe it's because you find him handsome too? A voice in Jongin's head echoed.
Maybe he did find Kyungsoo cute, a thought that was shrugged off immediately for Jongin had suddenly felt a bit awkward at his own thinking. He looked at all the toys, having one single thought cross his mind. "Are all of these toys yours hyung?"
Kyungsoo was a little startled by the sudden question, since he was too busy staring at Jongin's face (he found the tanned boy's expressions cute), but he answered the question nevertheless."All of these toys used to belong to me. But now, I don't think I need so many toys, and I wanted to give them to other children who didn't have toys, so that's why I brought them here."
Jongin smiled, hearing how thoughtful and generous Kyungsoo really was, just like how his aunt had described him to be. His eyes caught sight of a cute light-brown dog-plushie, and Jongin immediately took it, hugging it tightly.
"You're very lucky to have picked that. It was my favorite toy, and his name is Choco. But you can rename him if you want." Kyungsoo said with a smile.
Jongin smiled back, his eyes turning to crescents; his heartbeat quickening. He wanted to hug Kyungsoo so badly, to show him how thankful he was, but he was a little hesitant. His way of showing his happiness was by skinship; Jongin loved to hug his friends and his favorite noona. He was never really good at expressing himself through words; which led him to simply using his actions.
He hesitated again, but carefully wrapped his tiny arms around Kyungsoo's waist, with the dog plushie trapped in between their tiny bodies. "Thank you Kyungsoo hyung, for all the gifts; and for just coming here. No one has really visited us, and this is the first time I've ever received a Christmas present, so I'm very thankful." Jongin whispered, only for the two of them to hear.
Kyungsoo's eyes widened slightly, touched by Jongin's kind words and also shocked; that no one visited the wonderful orphanage. And after hearing the other boy's words, Kyungsoo decided that he would visit them every week, or even every day if he could; since it meant seeing all these wonderful children, especially Jongin.
He hugged Jongin back, wrapping his arms tightly around the shorter boy's neck; the two young boys sharing a very intimate, yet innocent moment together. They pulled back, faces slightly flushed from their close contact; but their hearts happy and contented.
Kyungsoo's eyes wandered around; seeing all the children's happy faces while they held their toys made him feel really happy and contented, and to his young but generous heart, he knew that it was the best feeling in the world. And then he looked at Jongin, who was hugging the dog plushie so tightly and happily, that Kyungsoo found himself just staring at him. Jongin's smile, his soft-looking brown hair, and his eyes that were full of contentment; yet they looking so innocent and pure.
Seeing someone look so happy with just one toy made Kyungsoo feel a little guilty, that he himself had wanted more toys back when he didn't know about the meaning of giving, all of them solely for himself. And now all these children only had one toy each, but the smiles on their faces were much brighter than the ones Kyungsoo had ever shown in front of his numerous toys.
His aunt had told him about the orphanage a long time ago, but Kyungsoo never really cared about her words. But as he grew up, Kyungsoo learned about the true meaning of Christmas; to give more than to receive. And so he packed up most of his toys, and told his aunt that he would love to give them away to the children in the orphanage; to which his aunt hugged him tightly, saying that he was a very thoughtful boy.
And not only did Kyungsoo learn about the true meaning of Christmas, but also the true meaning of love; not the kind of love his mommy and daddy had together, but just simply giving away his toys, and especially his treasured dog plushie to Jongin.
"I didn't catch your name yet. I'm Kyungsoo, and you are?" Kyungsoo asked Jongin, who was still standing in front of him, their hands still locked.
Jongin looked up, his face slightly flushed from hearing how gentle Kyungsoo's voice was, and introduced himself with a smile.
"I'm Jongin."
~~~
"Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh~" All the children sang, everyone seated in a big circle that surrounded the big and bright christmas tree. Their Christmas celebration was far from over, and everyone, including Jongin, was having a blast; singing Christmas carols — where Kyungsoo proved to be a very gifted singer, eating the delicious food prepared, and just talking among themselves.
Kyungsoo's presence made the celebration even better and more enjoyable for Jongin, who had grown attached to the doe-eyed boy very quickly; as the two had many things in common, like their love for pororo and their liking of music.
"When I grow up, I want to become the most famous singer in Korea!" Kyungsoo exclaimed as he conversed with Jongin, both slightly distancing themselves from the rest of the children, who were still singing Christmas carols, their lovely and melodious voices surrounding the lively room.
The two boys were sitiing close to one another, talking about the dreams and ambitions. Kyungsoo was a a very bright and determined boy, having big dreams and wanting to be the best. Jongin found it very admirable, that at such a young age Kyungsoo already knew what made him happy, which was singing.
"You have an amazing voice hyung. I think you'll do great as a singer!" Jongin said as he clutched onto the doe-eyed boy's hand. "I'll be your biggest fan!"
Blush.
Kyungsoo wasn't expecting the sudden compliment; and so his puffy cheeks tainted crimson, he ruffled Jongin's brown locks, smiling along with the younger boy. 'What about you Jonginnie? What do you want to be when you grow up?' Kyungsoo softly asked. "Or maybe, what's your dream?"
Jogin furrowed his eyebrows; deep in thought. Kyungsoo's questions made him realize how he'd never actually thought about his dream before, and it made the young boy very intrigued, of what he wanted to do in life. He looked at Kyungsoo, who was patiently waiting for his reply; and in that moment, Jongin knew.
That he wanted Kyungsoo to be part of his life.
"Noona, I want to go outside and build a snowman!" Minseok exclaimed. Hearing the sudden outburst, the other children started to nod their heads, all wanting to do the same thing. The celebration was almost coming to an end, and the children were all eager to play in the snow.
Except for Jongin.
Nothing had changed him; even at the thought that it was Christmas eve. Jongin still felt safe indoors, and though he was gonna be alone inside, he was already contented.
"Okay, everyone, put on your coats and gloves and wait at the door."
Everyone did as they were told, all excitedly putting on their winter-wear, while chatting among themselves, about what they were gonna build. Kyungsoo was doing so as well; putting on his light-brown coat, his white mittens, and his matching white scarf. Jongin watched him silently, and was mesmerized at how simple yet angelic Kyungsoo looked, his heart doing weird flip-flops.
But Jongin's eyes turned sad, realizing that Kyungsoo was going outside to play as well, and that the doe-eyed boy was going to leave him; which didn't make Jongin happy at all. He knew he was being selfish, but Jongin had grown so attached to the older boy in such a short time, that his mere company was Jongin's happiness.
As Kyungsoo finished putting on his winter-wear, he looked over to Jongin, and was surprised to see the younger boy sitting down, not having moved an inch, with his eyes cast down. Kyungsoo grew worried, that there was something wrong, and so he quickly sat next to the younger boy, softly grazing his cheek.
"Are you okay Jonginnie?"
Jongin looked up, lokcing eyes with Kyungsoo's worried ones, and tried to flash a smile to show that nothing was wrong. But Kyungsoo didn't feel any genuine happiness from his smile, and instead asked him again.
"Aren't you going out to play with me?"
Jongin could feel guilt rising in him, realizing that Kyungsoo had been looking forward to playing in the snow. With him. He wanted to put on his coat and gloves (that hadn't been touched before), and run outside, hand-in-hand with Kyungsoo, but he still couldn't.
He was afraid of taking the risk; he had always been.
Eomma and appa left me just like that, and I'm scared, that everyone else would do so too.
Kyungsoo knew something was wrong, and he decided to stay with Jongin, since he didn't want the younger boy to be alone. "I'll stay here with you, so at least tell me what's bothering you Jonginnie. I'm here for you." Kyungsoo softly whispered, as he held Jongin's hand tightly.
Jongin was touched, very touched that Kyungsoo wanted to stay with him. No one had ever done so, and he was very surprised. His thoughts and feelings had been locked up inside him ever since he was born; and finally, Jongin felt that it was time to let it all out.
Kyungsoo proved to be the one to finally make him open up, and honestly, Jongin was afraid of what Kyungsoo's reaction would be, but for once, he was gonna take the risk. For himself, and his heart.
"Kyungsoo hyung?"
"Yes Jonginnie?"
Jongin's mouth opened, and he let all his feelings out. "I'm scared."
Kyungsoo kept silent, waiting for Jongin to compose himself and continue. "I'm scared of going out. I-I've never left this place. Everytime the other children go out to play, I remain here, sitting by that window over there, and I just watch them play. I feel safe here, and I've never felt the need to go out."
Jongin's eyes watered slightly, and Kyungsoo shifted closer to him, whispering comforting words into his ear.
"It's okay Jonginnie, I'm here."
"But ever since I caught sight of sparkly, falling crystals from the sky, I became intrigued, of how the outside world was like. I sit by the window and admire the falling crystals, but I've always wanted to touch them. To let them fall into my hands. But, I've never gotten the courage to do so."
Kyungsoo listened, and it pained him so much; to see someone wanting to go out to explore the world so badly, but being held back by a fear of trust. "It's okay Jongin, everyone has fears. I'm terribly afraid of losing my friends, but meeting you has made realize that there's no need to be afraid."
Jongin looked up, smiling at Kyungsoo, whose face had turned slightly crimson at his own sudden confession. Hearing that someone else had fears like him, made Jongin feel a little better.
"But it's never too late to try. I know you might not like my request, but I want you to hold my hand, and go out into the snow. Can you try that Jonginnie?" Kyungsoo softly asked, his eyes full of care.
Is this how love feels like?
Jongin was lost in Kyungsoo's eyes; and in that moment, Jongin began to have hope, that would finally be able to break free, with the gift of a friend; love.
"Okay hyung, I'll try."
Kyungsoo and Jongin stood by the door, with their mitten-covered hands locked tightly, and their pulses palpitating. Jongin was very nervous, but he trusted Kyungsoo, that he would be slow and understanding. Though they just met, Jongin somehow felt like he had known Kyungsoo ever since he was born, and that the doe-eyed boy was special.
Because he had managed to open up his heart.
"Are you ready Jongin?" Kyungsoo softly asked the said boy, tightening his hold onto his hand.
Jongin took one deep breath, calming himself before nodding. With baby steps, Kyungsoo led Jongin forward, his other hand slowly turning the door knob, and opening up the door; the very portal that had been holding back Jongin from the world all this time.
A cold breeze immediately greeted them, making Jongin shiver from the unfamiliar feeling. Kyungsoo stopped in his tracks, looking back to see if he was okay. Jongin caught his gaze and nodded, signalling that they could walk further.
Kyungsoo walked forward, his boots landing onto the sheet of snow beneath. Jongin's eyes widened, as his boots too, stepped onto the cold substance beneath, but he wasn't afraid; and instead he looked to the front, his eyes full of determination.
As the two boys neared the snow, the other children caught sight of them, all shocked and surprised, seeing Jongin out of the orphanage for the first time. Jongin was still nervous, but Kyungsoo's words of comfort and his hold gave the tanned boy the strength he needed.
"Jongin, are you okay?" Kyungsoo asked, as he stepped back, now right beside the younger boy.
"I'm great hyung. Let's walk further." Jongin said with a smile.
Jongin'e eyes wandered around, at his surroundings. He had never thought that winter was such a beautiful season, having sheets of pale, white snow covering the ground, trees that were covered in blobs of snow as well, making them look so pretty, and lastly the smiles on everyone's faces, as they played around in the snow; making snow mans and just lying down and spreading their limbs, forming snow angels.
It was a beautiful sight for the young boy, and he was very happy that finally, he was able to experience it.
Kyungsoo was just staring at Jongin's expression, mesmerized by the way the younger boy's eyes sparkled, the way his nose was slightly red from the cold (which made him look so adorable), and the way Jongin just looked happier, like his dream was finally coming true.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Kyungsoo asked Jongin.
Jongin looked into Kyungsoo's eyes, and flashed the most genuine smile ever to grace his features.
"Your heart is beautiful hyung. Thank you for fulfilling my dream." Jongin said as he wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo's waist, hugging him for the second time that day.
As the two embraced each other, snowflakes started to fall from the sky, like shining crystals. Everyone gasped in happiness, some children holding out their palms to catch the falling snow, and others just simply looking up to admire the beautiful happening.
Jongin's eyes widened, as a snowflake landed on his brown locks, and also onto Kyungsoo's cheek. He smiled, brushing off the icy substance from the doe-eyed boy's cheek, planting a soft kiss onto it right after. Kyungsoo's eyes widened, his face blushing but contented.
"What was that for Jonginnie?" Kyungsoo asked, his fingers softly touching his kissed-cheek.
"You had a snowflake on your cheek." Jongin said cheekliy, before running away from the doe-eyed boy.
"Why you little.. Come here!" Kyungsoo shouted as he chased after Jongin, creating many tiny footprints on the snow-covered ground.
Jongin ran for his life, with his melodious laughter ringing in Kyungsoo's ears. Hearing his laugh was the best Christmas present Kyungsoo could ever ask for, and not even the biggest toy could top it.
Everyone laughed along with Jongin, also engaging in their own games of 'tag'; their hearts happy and contented. The snowflakes continued to fall, just like the teardrops that Jongin used to cry. But this time, it was tears filled with happiness and love.
And that day, Jongin experienced his first snow.
And also, his first love.
~~~
Word count: 3,665
Author's note:
An old work of mine that I revised. Kaisoo is love; always.
I hope you guys like it! Comment to let me know of how you feel about the fic,
vote if you liked it, and follow me, if you want. Trust me, I don't bite.
Thank you for reading <3
xoxo,
Ri