“Hey, guys!” Calvin and I nearly jumped completely off of the couch, surprised by the sudden sound of my mom’s voice.
“Oh, Mom, hi,” I stammered, trying to slow my heart rate and return my breathing to a normal pace.
“Hi…” she said slowly, her eyes dancing between Calvin and myself. “I’m not interrupting anything…am I?” she asked, a wicked smile spreading over her lips.
“No, Mom. We were studying for a class. This is Calvin that I told you about, by the way. Calvin, this is my Mom,” I replied, remembering a few manners and introducing them.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Matthews,” Calvin said raising from his seat next to me on the couch, flashing her a heart melting smile and extending his hand.
His smile had a fairly obvious effect on my mother. “What a gentleman. It’s nice to meet you, too, Calvin,” she gushed.
“Please, call me Cal,” he said, flashing me a sideways glance. Oh, right, that.
“Of course,” my mom replied. “Have you guys had anything for dinner yet?” she asked, walking towards the kitchen, setting her things down on the end table along the way.
“I made a pizza,” I answered, fidgeting with my hands. She had to have the worst timing in the universe!
“Are you hungry, though? I stopped by the store on my way home. It wouldn’t be a problem to whip something up for you two real quick,” she said, putting random items in the cupboards.
“Well, I actually need to get going. It’s getting kinda late,” Calvin inserted.
“Are you sure? It’s really no problem at all,” Mom asked, resting her hand on the cabinet knob she had just shut.
“Yeah. Maybe another time?” he offered. Mom smiled and nodded, and went on about her business in silence.
“I’ll walk you out,” I said quietly, watching Calvin gather his belongings from the kitchen.
Within minutes, we were outside in the cool night air. I had been so wrapped up in Calvin earlier, I hadn’t even known that the sun had set. And from the looks of it, it had set quite some time ago.
“I had a good time this evening,” Calvin said, shutting the door on his car after he had tossed his bag onto the passenger’s seat.
“Me, too,” I said quietly. Staring at the toe of my sneaker, I felt like a junior high girl being asked to dance by a boy for the first time.
“So I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, bending down a little to try and catch my eye.
“Yeah,” I said looking up with a small smile. “I really enjoyed your company today,” I offered, not ready for him to leave just yet.
“Me, too,” he replied, walking around the front of his car.
Following him like almost like a lost little puppy, I feverishly racked my brain for something to ask him about, or talk about, or anything, just to keep him from leaving, if for only a few more minutes. Anything.
As if reading my thoughts, he paused with his hand on the car’s door handle, and then turned around to face me. “Jenna, I, uh, earlier…” Hesitation filling his voice, his eyes darted everywhere, looking at everything but me.
“Calvin…” I started without knowing what I would continue with. Thankfully, I didn’t have to.
“Jenna, I’m not going to lie. I like you, but… I just don’t know,” he said, looking a little uncomfortable.
“But what, Calvin?” I asked. God, I wanted to hear this so incredibly bad.
“But, well, I don’t know. It’s just that I think you’re still hung up on Landon. Or maybe the thought of Landon, I’m not sure. You’ve not been broken up for an entire week yet, you know,” he said, releasing a long breath once he was finished speaking.
“Cal,” I said softly, actually remembering to call him by his preferred name, “Landon and I are finished, done. Everyone knows that. He’s probably moved on to the next shiny thing that’s caught his attention,” I paused, and Calvin did his best to hide a small smirk. “Regardless,” I continued, “it’s done and over; it’s no more. It’s best if him and I both got on with our lives.”
“It’s easy to say those words, Jenna, but let’s not kid ourselves, here. You were really hung up on that guy, for whatever the reasons. And less than a week removed from all of it, I would put money on the fact that you still are,” Calvin explained.
Fighting to keep the panic down that was very seriously threatening to overtake my emotions, I took a long, deep breath before responding, “I’m not so sure, Cal.” I had wanted to say something awe-inspiring and heartwarming, but I fell extremely short of that, obviously.
“We’ll just wait and see, okay? See how things go, maybe?” he offered.
“Yeah, I guess so,” I said, feeling defeated. I thought things had been going so well not that long ago. What had happened? What had changed his mind and feelings so quickly? I had no idea.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” Calvin said, breaking the silence that had formed between us.
“Okay,” I mumbled, feeling miserable. What the hell? How did this happen? Forcing myself to look him in the eye, his face was full of mixed emotions. His face looked like how my heart and mind felt. Swiftly, he leaned in and left a quick peck of a kiss on my cheek, and in one swift motion was turned and opening the driver’s door on his car and sliding inside.
“See you in the morning,” he smiled from inside.
“See you,” I replied softly, letting my fingertips find their way to where his lips had just been on my cheek, if for however briefly.
With another smile, the engine roared to life, and I heard the car’s transmission shift gears to reverse. Watching as he rolled backwards down my driveway in the car, he pointed it North, flipped on the headlights, shifted into Drive, and made his way down the quiet street.
Stray tears made their way down my cheeks. Wiping them away with the back of my hand, I took a deep breath and made my way back into the house.
“Well, he seems like a sweet boy,” my mother said from her seat at the kitchen table.
“Yeah, he is,” I said, flopping down onto the couch. The seat was still slightly warm from Calvin and I sitting on it not that long ago. A few fresh tears made their way down my face.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Mom asked. Within seconds she was at my side, sitting with me on the couch.
“Nothing,” I mumbled, covering my face with my hands. The tears were flowing freely now.
“Nonsense. If there wasn’t anything wrong, you wouldn’t be crying and carrying on like you are,” she replied with a huff. “Did Calvin say something to you?” she asked, her hand lightly rubbing my back in the way that only mothers know how to do.
“Not really,” I managed between sobs.
“Well, something happened, or you wouldn’t be so upset,” she replied softly.
Sniffing, I fought to get my emotions under control. “I don’t even know, Mom,” I began. Handing me a Kleenex from the end table next to her, she waited for me to continue. I glanced at her aging face, a few wrinkles already appearing at the corners of her eyes. For the first time I think in my entire life, I realized how tired she looked. Here I was, sobbing over boys, and she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Go on,” she coaxed, bringing me out of my revelation.
With a sigh, and only a few stray tears slowly making their way down my cheeks, I took a deep breath and went on. “It isn’t so much what he did say, but more of what he didn’t, and what I wanted him to say.” Glancing over at her, she nodded understandingly. “He said that he likes me or whatever, but he doesn’t think I’m over Landon yet,” I finished.
“Well, are you?” she asked simply, handing me another tissue.
“Yes,” I said immediately, wiping my eyes and nose.
“Really?” she asked. Looking into her eyes, I saw that she knew more than what I was letting on.
“Really. I mean, well, I think I am, at least. I want to be,” I replied.
“Honey, it’s not even been a week yet,” my mother began.
“Yeah, that’s the same thing that he said,” I interjected.
“Well, he seems like a smart, level-headed young man,” she said quietly. “Maybe just give it some time and see how things go? If it’s meant to be, everything will work out, trust me.”
“I don’t want to wait, though, Mom,” I insisted.
“Patience is a virtue, as the saying goes,” my mom replied, laughing softly. “Landon was your first real boyfriend. The first one of any kind of seriousness, anyway. Those first loves usually take some time to get over.”
“Do you think I’ll ever get over him completely, Mom?” I asked.
“Oh, I think so. There are so many things out there that are way better than him. I never really wanted to tell you, because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or make you angry with me, but that boy just never really sat with me right. I’m not sure what it was, exactly. This Calvin guy seems to be a million times better than him already,” my mom replied, tucking a few stray pieces of hair behind my ear. Placing a kiss on my cheek in almost the exact same spot that Calvin had earlier, she rose up from the couch and began making her way back over to the kitchen.
“Mom?” I asked, watching as she began clearing off the table.
“Yeah, sweetie?” she asked, beginning to wipe things down with a rag.
“How long did it take for you to get over Dad when he left?”
Stopping in mid-wipe and straightening up, she looked at me for a long while before answering. “Well, that was quite different than you and Landon,” she said quietly.
“I know, I was just wondering,” I replied, instantly regretting having brought it up. She slowly made her way back over to where I was still sitting on the couch.
“I don’t know that I ever really have gotten completely over it,” she said finally, sitting down next to me again, fiddling with the rag on her lap. Sitting patiently, I waited for her to continue. “I loved your father, Jenna. I loved him with my whole heart and soul. He was my everything. When he up and left out of the blue, I didn’t know how we were going to make it. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to,” her voice had dropped to maybe a whisper, and I had to strain a little to hear her clearly, even though we were sitting right next to each other.
“Oh,” I said, wishing again that I could come up with something more intelligible to say.
“But I did what I had to do,” she said, regaining her previous composure. “I had to keep living life, and busting my bottom. Not just for you, of course, but for me as well.” She stood up and walked back into the kitchen and resumed cleaning.
“Have you seen or heard from him?” I asked.
“No, Jenna, I haven’t, honey,” she said, our eyes meeting. It was probably best to leave well enough alone, so I went into my room and began getting ready for bed. I was suddenly more exhausted than I could remember being in a long, long time.
The next morning, I waited patiently at our front door for Calvin’s car to pull into the driveway. As reliable as Old Faithful, he pulled in at seven forty on the dot. Stepping outside and pulling the door shut behind me, I walked carefully down our front steps to awaiting car.
“Hey,” I said, climbing inside.
“Good morning,” he replied. He smelled of a fresh shower and cologne, and I racked my memory trying to remember if he had ever smelled of cologne before. I didn’t think that he had. “Look, Jenna, I kind of wanted to talk to you… about last night,” he said, backing carefully down the drive.
“Okay,” I said slowly, buckling my seatbelt. Had his feelings changed? I sincerely hoped so.
Shifting the car into Drive, we headed down the street and towards school. “I like you, I’ve already said that, you know. But, well, I’m not sure. I just have all of these crazy mixed emotions about it all,” he said, his eyes focused on the nearly empty side street in front of us.
“Yeah, I know,” I replied glancing over at him. I trained my eyes back onto the street in front of us to keep myself from staring at him. His shower/cologne mixed scent filled the inside of the car and wafted into my nostrils. It was intoxicating.
“Jenna,” he began again, making his way through an intersection and turning left onto the main road leading to the high school, “I would really like for me and you to work out. I guess I just have all of these reservations because of the whole Landon thing,” he finished. We were stopped momentarily at a red light, and our eyes met inside his car. A honk from behind us broke our gaze, and Calvin let out a nervous laugh as he realized the light had already changed to green and we were holding up traffic.
“I would like for things to work out between us, too,” I replied. I swear! How did the people in all those movies come up with all of these astounding responses? I must be lacking that gene, I guess. Watching the few people pass by on the sidewalks, my mind raced, trying to come up with something more, something better.
“The Landon issue, though, that’s where my hang up is,” he said as the high school came into view.
“It shouldn’t be,” I insisted, a sense of panic surfacing from out of nowhere.
“Yeah, I know that’s what you said, but still,” Calvin replied, guiding the car into the student parking lot. We crept along, Calvin’s eyes darting around, looking for an open space to park.
“I know it hasn’t been very long, but you have to believe me,” I persisted, turning slightly towards him in my seat. I waited for his response while he finished parking the car.
Shifting into Park and turning off the engine, Calvin turned and looked at me for a long while, his eyes studying me carefully the entire time. “Why don’t we just take things slow, then? At least for now?” he finally offered.
I couldn’t have kept the smile from my face, even if I had wanted to. “Yeah, we can do that,” I agreed.
“Good. We better get going. Don’t want to be late for that big test today,” Calvin said, suddenly sitting forward in his seat. He was out of the car in an instant, retrieving his things from the backseat. I was still sitting in the passenger’s seat smiling like a jackal. “Jenna? You coming?” Calvin’s voice breaking in through my daze.
“Oh, yeah,” I muttered, quickly gathering my things from the floorboard and hurrying out of the car. Meeting him at the front, I purposefully adjusted my purse to my opposite shoulder, freeing up the hand next to Calvin, my attempt at letting him know I wanted to hold his hand on the way into school.
Much to my surprise, it (or something, anyway) seemed to have worked, and he laced his fingers through mine.
I’m pretty sure I walked on clouds the rest of the way into the school.
[[A/N: Sorry it took me a little longer than usual to update this. My kids have been on Spring Break, so they make it a smidge more difficult to get much of anything accomplished, lol.... Anyhow, here it is! What do you think of this chapter? Let me know in the comments! Much <3 ]]