Hey guys, Butterlover328 here!! So this is something completely different from a normal chapter. When I was using NaNoWriMo as an excuse to get more time for writing, I had written this to reach the required word-count and as a way to get my creative juices flowing. I am in the Italics, and Percy's responses are underlined. I hope you enjoy it, bye!!
~Butterlover328
BL (Butterlover): *Typing story*
Percy: *Storms in, printed out version in hand.* Are you crazy?!
I certainly hope not, despite what my friends say about me.
This is a fanfiction based off children's books!!! You can't mention anything sexual in kids books!!
Hold on a moment, is this about Chapter 11??
Yes!! Of course it is!! What else would this be about??
Okay then. Are you angry that it actually happens to you or that I'm writing about this in a teen-rated novel??
Both.
Good, because for a second it sounded like it was just the fact it was mentioned in a teen- rated novel.
Ugh, you're insufferable. You know that, right??
That's quite a big word coming from you, Perce.
Really?? That's what you're thinking about right now??
I just think it's an accomplishment. I'm really proud of you.
Quit with the sarcasm, this is serious.
I thought you were Percy, not Sirius. He's in Azkaban for now, but more on your godfather later.
Wait, godfather?? Azkaban?? Sirius?? What in Hades' underpants are you talking about??
You'll find out soon. Anyways, while you're here, do you mind being interviewed??
Interviewed?? I'm getting confused.
That's the dense Percy I know and love!!
Excuse me??
...I didn't say anything.
... Okay then.
Anyways... *snaps fingers, doors close and lock, small sofas appear.*
What the?? Why did you lock the doors??
To keep out the monsters, dark wizards, and haunted animatronics, of course!!
Ani-what??
Animatronics. You know, those creepy things from kids' restaurants like Chuck-E-Cheese??
Why would they be here??
Because the game freaks the Hades out of me and whatever I think about normally ends up here, in my subconscious.
So you have haunted Anima-thingies running around your subconscious all the time??
Yep!! And thoughts of you, and Harry-
*Panicking* Oh my gods, Harry!! He's going to be worried sick!!
I can get him and bring him here, but you have to start answering my questions.
You haven't even asked any!!
Exactly.
Ugh, I swear you're worse than Weasley.
I wouldn't count on that. You're going to meet people who are far worse in the future.
Who are you talking about??
Your grandfather, for instance.
All of my grandparents are dead.
...Wait a minute, what time period did I pull you from??
Harry, Neville, Weasley and I had just given the dragon to Weasley's older brother's friends, and I was the only one who didn't get caught.
So I pulled you that early from your adventures, but you said Hades' underpants?? That's weird.
It was the first thing that came to mind, okay??
...
What??
Why you have fantasies about Hades' underpants disturbs me.
No, that's not what I-. You know what?? I'm not going to argue anymore. Ask ahead, any question. I just don't care right now.
Thank you. So first off, why were you acting like such a prat before I pulled you here??
Excuse me?? I was not acting like a prat.
Oh really??
Yeah.
So you didn't say, "Good riddance", when Ronald Weasley left to try to talk to Dean Thomas about the dragon and not going to Dumbledore or another teacher??
Oh, yeah. I did do that, didn't I?? *Sheepishly rubs the back his neck.*
You did.
I was in a bad mood that day. Weasley has insulted my friends in the past, as well as try to cut me out of my brother's life. Not to mention the fact that he sent me to Dumbledore's office, and- well, you know what happened.
I do know, but you're lucky about that. If I didn't, I would have to make you explain it. Saying 'You Know Who' and 'you know what' really irritates me, because it keeps someone out of the loop and makes them seem like an idiot when they ask about it.
I guess, but what does that really have to do with anything right now??
None as of yet, but it will be important in the future.
You're weird, you know that??
I know you are, but what am I??
What??
Never mind.
...Okay then.
Anyways, you still haven't fully explained why you were acting like such a prat towards Ron Weasley.
Yes I did!!
No, you explained why you didn't LIKE Ron, not why you were acting-
Like a prat towards Weasley, I know.
Hey!! Don't interrupt me!!
Why don't you make me??
*Smirks* Alright then. *Snaps fingers, sound no longer comes out of Percy's mouth when he tries to speak.*
*Glares*
I will release the silencing spell on you if you cooperate, alright??
*Motions for pen and paper*
Oh right, you can't speak. *Gives him the writing materials*
*Writes for a moment, crosses something out, goes to the next page, writes something else, and flips it over so BL can read it. It says, Fine.*
*Releases the spell* There you are, is that better??
*Still glaring* I hate you.
That's fine by me. I can just write you out of existence.
Wait, what??
I meant what I said. I can just edit you out of the story, and then "Poof!!" you're gone forever.
*Pales* You wouldn't actually do that, would you??
*Smirks* Maybe. But let's not talk about that now. You still have to answer my questions.
Fine. What's the next question??
Why are you always in the spotlight??
That's not me, that's Harry. He's swamped by the students because he's the Boy-Who-Lived.
I mean in the story, Seaweed Brain.
What did you just call me??
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Yes you did. You called me Seaweed Brain.
Obliviate!! *Wipes Percy's memory of the use of his nickname*
What just happened??
I just asked you why you were always in the spotlight, you said it was Harry because he's the Boy-Who-Lived, and I said in the story.
Are you sure?? I feel like I'm missing something.
I'm 100% sure.
Okay then.
So why are you always in the spotlight??
I don't know, you're the one who wrote it!!
True, but you're the one living it, and I wanted to get your input.
Well, I guess it's because I'm protective of Harry and the others. I want to make sure they are always safe, even if it means I sacrifice myself to save their lives.
...
Hello?? Earth to person!! You still here??
...
Anyday now??
...
Welp, if you're not going to say anything then I guess I'll lea-
Wait!!
What??
I'm still not done with questioning you!!
Then why did you take so long to answer??
Because I was thinking!! You know, using that thing in between your ears called your brain.
You don't have to be so sarcastic you know.
Well, EXCUSE ME if you're acting like a rude houseguest. Gods, I should've never tried to break the Fourth Wall.
What's the Fourth Wall??
The Fourth Wall is a magical barrier between reality and the fictional universe. If it's broken, real people can enter the fictional universe and wreck havoc, and vice versa.
Why would you try to break it then??
To have this stupid conversation in the first place!! I needed a place to vent and you were the first person I thought of.
Why me??
Because you and Harry have this 'helping people' complex, and unlike Harry you aren't that easy to manipulate, whereas he's practically been manipulated his whole life.
So what do you want me to do, huh?? Help you with your emotions or something.
What I want you to do is answer my dam questions.
You've only asked me two!! We went over this already!!
Yeah, I have to admit this isn't my best interview.
What, you mean you've kidnapped other people and forced them to go through this??
No, before now I've only interviewed people from my version of reality. You're the first person I had to break the wall to interview.
Again, why me??
Because of your personality. While I wish we had gotten off on a better foot-
Which is your fault, by the way.
-you are my favorite person from the other side of the wall. You're loyal to the point that you would destroy the world to save a friend, one of the most friendly and forgiving people I know yet you also have a rebellious and sarcastic side, and while you're reckless, you also get people out of sticky situations and most of the time save their lives. Plus, you'll become a badass in the future, but I'm not going to say anything more about that.
...Oh.
*Shakes head and bursts out laughing.*
What's so funny??
You basically just said a typical Percy answer.
What's so bad about that??
Nothing, I just needed to rant and you broke the tension with a single word.
So... we're good??
Yeah, we're good. I should probably get you back anyways, by now it's probably going to be time for you to get up and start the day.
Wait, you mean you didn't freeze time or something while I was here??
That's unfortunately not in my capabilities, even though it would make things much easier for me.
I guess it would be cool to stop and start time at the snap of your fingers, wouldn't it??
Eh, I guess. Not really though, since the current Lord of Time is crazy and currently spending his time wallowing in the pit of Tartarus.
What??
Dam, I need to stop mentioning your future. Obliviate!! *Wipes Percy's memory of the last few seconds.*
Hey, um... Can I, you know, be released now?? I kinda have to leave by now in order to get to breakfast on time.
Oh yeah!! Sorry, I completely forgot!! *Door appears* You're free to go.
That's it?? No tricks or anything??
*Holds up right hand.* On my honor, there are no tricks or anything on that door, and you can leave to return to your reality.
Alright then. I guess I'll see you later, or something??
Maybe, or I can interview Harry next.
It wasn't really an interview though. You only asked me two questions at the end.
*Sighs.* Jackson, are you going to leave or am I going to have to kick you out??
Jeez!! I'm leaving!! No need to make a fuss.
Yeah yeah, whatever. Just get out of here please so I can continue writing.
Fine. See ya later. *Walks to open door, but it closes right before he exits. He turns to Butterlover.* What was that for?! I thought you said no tricks!!
I did, but I need to make sure that it's past 6 AM. *Checks watch, nods.* Never mind, it is. *Door opens again.* Now you're free to go.
Why do you need to wait until 6 to open that door??
Because the animatronics stop roaming around at 6, and I would hate for you to die in the Between. You wouldn't be able to reach your reality's underworld, and you might even become one of the animatronics yourself, cursed to wander these halls for the rest of eternity.
*Eyes widen in shock and slight fear and apprehension.*...Right. I'm just going to go now. *Leaves.*
Bye Percy.
Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed that little interview. That was an attempt at original humor from me, and a small insight into what was going on in my head last November. The animatronics were a reference to FNAF, as that was when FNAF 2 had come out and everyone was talking about it. The next chapter will be coming out when it's finally typed out in it's entirety, which with my busy schedule might not be for a week or two. I'm sorry about that, but it's all I can do until my job is done. (Unlike most jobs, I actually have an end goal, which I will hopefully reach by the end of the month.)
~Butterlover328