PHOENIX
It's like nothing is real. I wake from tent with Faye beside me. I immediately stumble out of the tent trying to get away from him. When I come out, I'm faced with Athan. When I turn to run, Faye is back beside me. I'm closed in by the two. I can't speak. In moments, I feel my body being jolted into a tree.
Now I know I'm dreaming. I just can't wake up. My mother would tell me about things like this. When you know you're dreaming, but can't seem to wake up. I can't scream to myself to wake up before they come kill me. Instead, I sit there frozen with wide eyes. Unable to defend myself.
Wait! This isn't real! Neither of them can actually touch me! But why can't I control this? If I wanted to, why can't I jump from this tree and kill both of them? Because I'm not calm enough. I begin to breathe. This is nothing like a panic attack. I feel my heart rate calming down and slowing back to normal. Then I open my eyes. This time, inside the tent is no one. It's just me and lucid dreams. I use the back of my hand to wipe off the sweat above my brows. I can tell its morning. I see the sun through the brown makeshift ceiling. Then I smell an awful stench. When I look around the tent for the source, I realize it is me. Then I remember the antics from the night before.
Last night, I found a couple trees that have thankfully grown close together. I had set up camp behind them to block the wind. Rain lightly got to me from there. The raindrops looked pretty in the slight moonlight. So I began to rub my index finger across the top. Bad choice. Apparently, the water had built up on the tent. So when I touched it, it flooded straight into my tent and specifically, on me.
"Great, now I smell like mildew," I whisper to myself.
Now that I think about it, I haven't showered a day since I've been out here. And, I rarely pee. Only in the morning and barely at night. I'm always on guard and never drink liquids. I'm probably very unhealthy right now.
But that is the least of my worries. Now, I need to stop smelling and feeling grimy. I pull myself out the tent and stretch my body. I put the pop up tent away and I look through the bag for some kind of map. I only looked through the main compartment last time. Today, when I look through the small parts I find a map and the area the flashlight came from.
My body ready for a journey, backpack on, map in hand, I begin walking southeast, where the nearest pond of water is. As I walk I throw berries in my mouth, making a game to entertain myself as I quietly sneak through the evergreen plants. I was thankful that Faye's map specifically showed where the Evergreen forest is. The source of water isn't here. In fact, I'm going back to the place the wolves had come to attack Faye and I.
Faye...without him, I barely say a word out loud. He was fun to be around when he was nice. Those six days we spent together were amazing. And now I have nothing. As I stare down at the water I realize how much I miss him and those memories. I set a in mind timer for ten minutes. I can't be here for long. It's way out of route to home.
I strip out of my suit with ease and wash the suit in the cool water. In hope it will make the stench go away. I have no soap, so I doubt it will. The thing gets uncomfortable after a while, so it's relaxing for the cold water to run over the material marks the leather outfit left on my body. When I finish rubbing my body with water, I take off the bandages on my arm and neck. The one on my arm is healing badly. I haven't been taking care of it. Who can blame me though? It's like I never have time. I run the cold water over the cuts and place clean fresh bandages over it. I push on my under garments and sit on the rock for a while. Staring at nothing really. Now that I think about it though, last time I was here it was absolutely beautiful. A mini winter wonderland.
When my ten minute timer is over, I put my suit back on and walk away from the sight. I'll miss this place. Not because of the wolves, because of how Faye hugged me that day. The thought was so distant that I had forgotten about it.
I wonder where he is. Has his wounds properly healed unlike mine? Probably. I'm not very responsible when it comes to self care on wounds. I just ignore them and the pain.
Was that what he meant about me ignoring my feelings? Now I truly believe it. I look around, trying to distract myself again before I could cry.
It all happens at once. The tears to the loud crying to me falling onto my knees in a weak matter. I sound like a dying animal, the wails filling the open air sound like I do. This is probably the first time that I've cried this much. It's like all pain that I've endured has come all at once. I'm all alone now. My parents are gone in the city and they almost seem unreachable. My grandmother is no longer there to understand my fourteen year old feelings. Three years later, I still have no one. Probably because I can't make myself admit that I'm weak. Why? Other people do it all the time. Why am I so obsessed with others believing I'm so strong. Faye is right. Now that he is my enemy. It angers me that he was correct about me. Him, he's the only one that knows my emotions. It's ridiculous how the one I think I hate the most also understands me the most. I know my parents can't look at me the way he did and know that I constantly hide my feelings to keep on a strong facade. I don't even understand myself the way he did. Why do I do that to myself? It's only hurting me. I bet if I asked Faye he would know. He would respond in his sarcastic way, even truth would be the underlining tone.
My body and heart is still filled with pain, but I have no more tears left to fall onto the broken and rigid ground. So I begin on my journey again. Shooing any thought of Faye away. Because I know it will lead to more dry tears.
I get back on track quickly.
I jog back to the EverGreen forest. I need to get away from here. They way the grass is now brown and colorless reminded me of how the memory is gone forever. That pond was my epitome of happiness. The way the ice sickles glistened in the day. The thick white snow covering the ground. It's all gone now, leaving a cold dead place.
I'm back to my camp in the EverGreen again, it's still doesn't lift my mood to see all the alive flowers and leaves. I pass by everything emotionlessly. My paste has slowed down to a walk , making it easier to notice every rock, twig, and sand on the ground. Wait, sand? This can't be. I kneel down and shovel up some sand with my finger and rub it between my thumb and index. Yup, it is sand. And sand can only mean one thing; I'm close to the city!
As the sadness is washed away, I look around at the grass and plants around me. They are moving in an odd manner.. As if wind was blowing on them. I don't feel any wind on myself. So why are they moving? I quickly raise from the ground when I hear propellors of a flying object-obviously. My eyes frantically look around the forest. I feel my feet subconsciously start to move forward until I am in front of an open field. The morning sun is blaring in my eyes. I can make out that it is full of beautiful green grass, surrounded by trees. It would have been nice if it wasn't for the fact I am in danger again. It had to be the government. They knew, they knew people would be in the woods hiding from the Altos! Did the Constables go in hiding?
"There she is!" I hear someone yell from above. I look up. There it is, a black helicopter that obviously belonged to the government. A latter is dangling from the bottom, the iconic Constable in its white and black armored uniform and mask hangs onto it. Pointing directly at me. "Shit." I mutter. I am frozen in my footsteps. What now? I know I couldn't outrun a Constable, yet alone a helicopter. But I had to do something, I can't stay here. So I start to run into the open field. "She's getting away!" The Constable yells. I pushed my body to its limit, stepping on the grass and purple flowers. I think there is another forest across the field. What could it lead to? I know I won't be safe in it, the propellers separate the trees so they would have a clear view of me anyways.
Here I am again, running away from trouble into what I hope is safety. I've lost count of how many times I have had to do this. I take a few more starter steps and leap into the safety of the trees and land in a roll. When I turn around, I see that the helicopter is barely in the middle of the field and three Constables have dropped to the ground. Kicking up grass as they chase me. They can't see me, so I have a few second head start to hide, which would be dumb. So I keep running until I trip. Thankfully, I don't fall on my face, I fall on my but and begin sliding down into a concrete ravine. There only a little bit of water at the bottom followed by a few ice blocks. I hit the bottom of it with a loud 'oof'. I don't have time to recover before the three Constables surround me, guns trained on my head. Watching if I'll make a run for it. I'm kinda happy to see them actually. These mystery me- Altos, have been annoying me to death.
Gotta' love them Constables.
A/N
y'all probably wondering why I added in this depressing chapter. Because because becauseeeee, the wonderful things ThatAnonChick does! I'm kidding. Phoenix is a 17 year old girl with feelings, not some bad*ss killer ready to save her parents. Plus every character has a mental breakdown. Lastly, I want to showcase her personality and feelings. She's really closed off n stuff u kno. She misses Faye I need to specify that. Remember, just because I didn't write about EVERY SINGLE DAY they spent together, doesn't mean it didn't happen. They were together for 6 days before he tried to kill her. remember that (:
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Song: Rain • Bruno Mars.
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ThatAnonChick out! Bye!