Lord Save me, fill me with hope, hope I feel but is it real? My soul is empty, my body is breaking. I feel my bones shattering with guilt, this world is a deadly place. Without a choice you feel it rushing through your veins, a feeling you cannot seem to get rid of, one hard to take away.
Do you feel it, tears fall, our bodies form mistakes, but how come that is all the world can think when they look. They never notice my smile when I talk about you, or my eyes when I beg for them to love me like they love the rain.
Now the grass is too muddy, and my shoes are too white. I am lost, somehow trapped in a daze, of me in my old, abandoned home.
Nevertheless, you saved me then and you will save me now.
I just want to be loved, cared for by you. Not in the way people admire, love, then soon hate, blinded by rage.
The church told me you would heal me, take away the voices in my mind I never talk about.
They said you stained the cross with your blood and holy name.
I bet you smell like roses with a smile like blue skies.
With a heart of gold, and a soul as pure as snow, will you love me, heal me with the love of Jesus Christ.
I want to trust you with everything, to give you my locked-up diary full of hidden secrets, the ones I kept since childhood. So please help me to live a life created by you, honored by you, so when I die, I know exactly where I am going. I will get on my knees and beg, help me to be free again. You did it before... I know what I did was wrong, I missed you.
Now puddles are too deep to walk in, and my body cannot fathom the words people say, have you heard, I want to question, to help defend you but my words are cut short. They just cannot seem to accept the love you offer, cannot seem to believe the truth within the red letters you speak.
Nevertheless, I want to be free, healed, and admired. So please save me, touch me with the balminess of your hand. As we lay beneath heaven's sand. Then we could smile wide as time passes by because when I die, I will be alive again with you, lying against heaven's gate.
You healed me, saved me from the hurt lurking within my soul. I had scars, but you have covered them in your name.
Shattered promises, I am now a survivor, body once used, I am living a life just for you. I once was broken, tossed, and thrown into places of the unknown. Never will I be a victim of that again.
You have cleared my vision; I can no longer blame myself for the things I could not control. Blood-soaked bodies and the damaged promises are gone. I am no longer chained up to the place I ran from.
In your name I am a child of God, one who seeks your wisdom and holy name, Amen.
Tears of Freedom