I thought my little heart was about to explode.
Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I heavily sighed. I was not prepared, well, not mentally. My knees were weak, hands sweaty and my mind was not thinking straight. Needless to say, I was screwed.
It was the day, no, more like the night I wanted to mean something to me - the New Year's Eve. And my eighteen birthday.
Days after Christmas came along so fast, I couldn't even think straight. And all I did was to stare at the white nature from my window, eat, listen to music or talk to Eren, hang with Armin and some members of the group – but I got shivers, when the night came scrolling by, and it wasn't the cold weather's fault.
Most of the sunsets I spent talking and texting with Levi. It felt amazing, hearing his low, cold voice through the phone or just reading his mind blowing words. Each of those made me smile, laugh or just think about life. But what mattered to me the most was that I came closer to know Levi personally. Don't get me wrong, I liked the guy in every way, but I wanted more – I wanted him to open to me.
But that wasn't as easy as I thought. Levi was nice to me and all, yet he was still mysterious and kept his distance. Even if we wanted to talk for hours, I couldn't but to notice his rejection and cold answers as quickly as I wanted to ask something deeply personal. Like he wasn't sure if to speak of it, so he constantly changed the subject. I couldn't blame him though, he was smart and open-minded person, but deep down in his eyes, as how they looked at first, all cold and arrogant, I couldn't but to think he was hiding something. The part of him that made him act so strong and careless, because everyone knows, people, who stand out by positive or negative nature, can be really different from inside.
Hurt, feeling endless pain or rejection, not willing to ask for help.
Sighing, I rather pushed the 'Levi thoughts' away and focused on my look, which was a big deal for me this night, believe me.
I wasn't the tom boy girl but I never really consider being a girly girl either. I was soft and cute at the moments, but I rather lived wild and free, acting like no one can hurt me easily. So wearing an amazing maxi dress with a lot of make-up and elegant haircut wasn't my way at all. But this night – I wanted to try and be daring.
I went for a dark, mysterious look, plus I had enough time, since the party begins late and I could just gaze at my reflection, preparing myself. With this perfect opportunity, I took the chance and looked through my closet patiently and ended up with a birthday gift, Carla gave me earlier that day, since she can't be with Eren and me for the night.
It was a beautiful black maxi dress, with a big V cut on the back, and a trail of laces on both of the sides and on the middle of the V cut. It was without sleeves, but it had two beautiful straps, traced from the sides to the back of my neck, keeping the dress from not falling off. I absolutely loved it, I couldn't but to stop looking myself at the mirror, thinking if it suits me.
Will he like it?
The thought cross my mind but never stayed there, since I was too busy checking for a pair of midnight-blue chunky high heels, which I eventually found hiding under my bed.
The dress and the shoes went perfectly together, which I later of paired with the bracelet Levi had given me for Christmas, but that wasn't the main problem.
Groaning in sleepiness, I held my hands to my face, observing the enormous amount of make-up and the crazy haircut, Sasha had made earlier. Not complaining, the girl was an expert, but I was never a fan of too much everything. She made my skin flawless by standing out my cheekbones with the bronzer and hiding the bags under my eyes with a highlighter, which also made my face a little brighter. My eyebrows used to be sharp and full, so she wasted no time on them, just darkening and forming them into a soft shape. As for my eyes – I never gave a proper time to do something with these blue windows to the soul, so I never would have guessed how long and powerful my eyelashes really are. So Sasha used only a dark eyeliner and mascara, making my blue eyes stand out even more. And that's where all ended, since my lips were only dry, so all she did was to blast a dark lipstick over my thin lips to make them 'pop'.
Which left me to only wonder about my hair – they had grown a little since the first day at the new school, so they were a good material to make lovely curls fall to the middle of my neck as Sasha braided a few string from my ear to the beck of it.
That's where my look ended. Surprisingly, I was shocked to ever see how beautiful I could be in a short time and how my body shape can stand out in a simple, yet elegant dress.
It was all so cliché.
''Mikasa?'' I heard someone call from the other side of the door, the voice kicking me back to reality.
''It's almost 21:30, friends will come in a short of time.'' I recognized the voice in a second, so I encouraged him to come in. The door handle gave out quickly and a tall figure in a white shirt and black jeans, popped in.
Eren's eyes shined green, brown hair floating in a messy stylish way, as he gazed at me with open mouth, forgetting about everything. It was like he saw me for the first time, and I couldn't but to blush from embarrassment.
''Wow,'' that was all he could come up with after moments of silence, ''you look...''
Raising an eyebrow, I chucked wickedly: ''You were about to say?''
''Don't push me,'' he warned me in a playful tone, stepping closer to observe my face. ''You look so mature and cute – a true beauty.'' He gave me a genuine smile, and all I needed was to hug him strongly, since I knew, he wouldn't resist. He smelled like vanilla, calming me in his embrace, before I'll start sweating again.
Man, when have I become so broken, always nervous and sweaty?
After a quick cute moment with my brother, he led me downstairs to the basement, where the party will take place. We were really lucky to have that big of a room, which was filled with snack tables, flashing lights and loud music, coming from the speakers. Everything was ready in the absolute way we've planned it, we only had to wait for people to arrive.
First ones, no surprise actually, were people from the group, wishing me a lovely eighteen birthday. They all wore matching T-shirts, colourful with me on as a wrestler. I couldn't help but to burst out laughing, they really knew how to make me smile.
Ymir and Christa baked me a delicious-looking cake as the boys and Sasha surprised me with a whole bottle of champagne.
''This will be for the birthday girl and only when the clock strikes midnight,'' Sasha hissed, when Eren tried to open the bottle. He glared at her, putting the champagne down onto the table and rather opened a few beers, tossing them around till every member had one. We than gathered around and started chatting, making the time pass away quickly, as my blood started boiling deeply. I was still nervous of seeing Levi come in and how Eren will react. I really didn't need another fight because of me, especially not on my birthday. But time went on and it was already ten pm, when first people started arriving to the party and Eren made the music louder and friends started pulling down those ridiculous T-shirts, revealing their true outfits. All of them surprised me in a really good way. Sasha and Christa wore awesome little dresses, Sasha a red one and Christa a white one, making her blond hair curve down her back. I knew Ymir was even a bigger rebel then me, so she wore high wasted shorts and a black top with random signs all over it, while her hair was tamed back into a messy bun. Connie and Armin didn't really care, how they looked like, so they went for pretty much anything they found in a closet that day, as Marco and Jean wore matching white shirts and blue or dark jeans.
They have become rather suspicious with their friendship; I couldn't help but to think of it. Taking a big sip of bitter liquid, I sat down and watch as the space started slowly filling and people drank and danced. I wasn't a real fan of those things, but the night Jean asked me to dance with him, I did it without even thinking straight. And tonight, I decided to spend the time before Levi's arrival sitting in the corner and watching my silly friends.
But things always go the other way around in life, don't they?
''Hey Mikasa!'' I heard someone come near me, shouting in my ear. I looked up, seeing a cheerful Marco with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was still sober, judging how he frowned and his eyes sparkled in the usual, happy tone of his. ''What are you doing here completely alone?''
''I-I just...'' my mind tried to come up with something so I wouldn't have to dance but it was too late. Marco pulled me up and started dragging me to the middle of the room, where others were already relaxing.
''You need to relax,'' he whispered before tossing me next to Eren and Jean, which weren't exactly dancing, more like talking. Looking around, I've noticed that I didn't really know many people here. They were elder or from school, others just friends of friends, if you know what I mean. Eyeing the room, people were dancing under the colourful lights, their bodies moving in the rhythm. I found Sasha wildly dancing around with some guys, holding a bottle of beer in one hand, while grinning loudly.
The girl knows how to party.
Christa and Ymir were on the other side of the room talking and slightly moving, making it seem as they were dancing, while all the time, they were only gazing into each other's eyes. Well, I know they are best friends but I never saw them looking at one another like this before. Christa seemed relaxed and happy, as Ymir seemed bored, while her eyes were saying the opposite, looking at Christa in a way, even I couldn't decipher.
''So, are you enjoying your birthday?'' asked Jean, snapping me out of my trance. I looked at him, seeing how all three of them, Marco, Jean and Eren were smiling at me.
''I guess so,'' I mumbled and took another sip.
''I guess so?'' mocked Jean my words, grinning wickedly. Oh no. if I know him long enough, he has a plan, which I won't like.
''Well, guessing so,'' he looked up; pretending to be in deep thoughts as other two just raised their eyebrows, waiting for an answer. ''I haven't helped but to notice, you're a great dancer.''
''Jean,'' I hissed, knowing what he wants.
Hell no! I won't dance, my eyes spoke for my mouth and Jean seemed to notice my death stare, so he just folded his arms across his chest.
''Come on Mikasa,'' now said Marco, backing up Jean. ''Show us your moves. Plus,'' his eyes sparkled, ''it's your big night, go wild a little.''
Only then I've noticed, Eren was not with us anymore, he was standing next to the music table, shifting the music to a quicker rhythm. So I was left with two guys, whose gaze was pinned on me, waiting for my answer. I sighed at their expressions, dragging fingers through my hair.
What could possibly go wrong?
''Promise, you'll dance with me,'' I glared at them and started moving my hips, earning a chuckle from them, but they obeyed me. Moving like trees in the wind, we moved closer to each other and laughed at their awful attempts. Jean was a little better, since I taught him at the Rainer's party, but Marco was really funny. He was like a piece of wood, all tensed up, so I decided to help him. I did the same thing as with Jean, grabbing his hands, telling him to relax and so on. I knew Jean was just watching us, giggling at how awful Marco was at dancing. But at least, Marco was a type of a guy, who didn't care about it that much, so we spent some time, laughing at him, till our bottles were empty.
''I'll get us some drinks,'' volunteered Marco just so he could stop dancing and I couldn't blame him. But surprisingly, I couldn't stop dancing myself; my hips moved quickly, hands flew in the air and back down, as I span around. Jean was still watching me, moving a little bit himself, but he didn't do anything stupid like last time.
Like last time...
Levi...
As if I couldn't before, my mind was occupied with memories from Rainer's party. How I danced like this, how I ran away, when Jean tried to kiss me and later bumped into Levi and we ended up on the roof. It all came back so quickly and if as fate wanted to play with me, my legs stood still in the moment my eyes saw him walk into the room, looking beautiful as always.
My heart started beating fast, as my body couldn't move, I couldn't reply to Jean, who was standing next to me, trying to tell me something – I just couldn't. I was frozen and anxious, waiting for our gazes to meet.
He has come, words echoed in my head. Levi has come.
--
Hey guys!
I have to tell you something – I'm sorry if I'll leave you like this, waiting what will happen to these broken souls, but I'm going to Greece for two weeks! So I won't post as regularly as I did before, maybe not at all. :(
Please, don't get upset, if there will be Wi-Fi, I'll upload as quickly as possible. But I can't promise you anything...
Hope will see each other soon and don't forget about this story! I appreciate any comment and vote, I'll try to reply to any of you in the time I'm gone :)
Bye!