As I showered, I let the hot water wash away the tension, my mind slowly clearing. By the time I stepped out, I felt more centered, ready to face the day. I dressed quickly, pulling on my standard training gear, and headed to the common area.
The kitchen was empty when I arrived, and I set about making coffee, the familiar routine grounding me. As the rich aroma filled the air, I couldn't help but smile, thinking of how Natasha liked her coffee—strong, with just a touch of cream. I poured myself a cup and took a sip, savoring the warmth and making my way to the conference room for the weekly team meetings.
As I stepped into the meeting room, I found the entire team, already gathered. Notably, Tony and Steve were deep in conversation, while Sam appeared lost in thought, his gaze distant. Wanda was quietly sipping a cup of tea, and Vision sat nearby, observing the group silently. I nodded a greeting to everyone, taking my usual seat at the table.
"Just in time," Tony said, his tone brisk. "Let's get this party started."
As the meeting started, Natasha's gaze was firmly fixed on me. I could feel her eyes lingering on me, almost burning into my skin. To anyone else, she appeared to be paying attention to Tony and Steve's briefing, but I knew her well enough to sense the subtle messages.
It felt like she was slowly undressing me with her eyes, her gaze trailing down my body, leaving me feeling both excited and exposed. I could feel my cheeks heating up under her intensity, and I had to force myself to focus on the task at hand. I tried to keep my expression neutral, but I could tell she knew the effect she was having on me. I could see the hint of a smirk playing on her lips as I stammered to look away.
Tony's voice droned on, outlining the latest mission proposal. But I couldn't concentrate on a word he was saying. My mind was consumed by Natasha, her presence practically electrifying the air around me. It took all my willpower to keep my breathing even, and I could only hope that no one else in the room could sense the tension between us.
I couldn't help but remember last night. The way her body had felt against mine, the sound of her voice whispering my name, the touch of her skin against mine. The memories were so vivid, so fresh, that I could almost feel her in my arms again. I took a large gulp from my coffee mug to distract myself.
Just as I thought I had composed myself, I could feel Natasha's leg brush against mine under the table. The brief contact sent shivers down my spine, and I had to bite back a gasp. It was as if she was trying to test my resolve, to see how long I could hold out under her subtle teasing.
I shot her a sidelong glance, hoping to convey my growing frustration, but she just raised an eyebrow in mock innocence.
She continued to let her leg rest against mine, slowly moving it up and down my calf. She then places her hand in my inner thigh and trailed it around sensitive spots. I could feel the heat of her skin through my clothes, and I had to resist the urge to climb on the table and grab her. The sensation was both sweet and torturous, and I felt my mind spinning with desire as she continued to move higher.
The tension between us was almost fiery, and I was starting to wonder if anyone else in the room could sense it. Steve was still listening to Tony, and he was too engrossed in his own words to notice anything. But I could see Wanda studying me from across the table, her gaze sharp.
I took another sip of my coffee, hoping the bitter liquid would help cool my rising temperature. But it was of little use; she gripped me harder and the heat radiating from her now was almost overwhelming. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my lap and kiss her senseless, but I obviously couldn't do that.
I knew that if we didn't get some privacy soon, things would most likely escalate right here
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Tony concluded the meeting and the team began to stand up and file out of the room. I caught Nat's eye, silently indicating that I needed to talk to her. She nodded subtly, understanding
As the others left the room, Natasha and I lingered, pretending to discuss something. Once we were alone, Natasha turned to me with a smirk. "You look a little flushed," she said, her voice laced with amusement. "Something on your mind?"
I looked at her, my desire and frustration mounting. "You know exactly what's on my mind," I said, my voice low and gruff. "That little game you were playing under the table, it was driving me crazy."
She chuckled, clearly enjoying my reaction. "I was just having some harmless fun," she teased, taking a step closer to me. "You looked so cute, trying to focus on Tony's boring mission briefing."
Her closeness only fueled the fire in me, and I resisted the urge to pull her into my arms. "Harmless fun? You were trying to make me lose my goddamn mind," I said, my voice strained.
Her smile grew wider, and she rested a hand on my chest, feeling my heart thudding beneath her touch, "just like last night, wasn't it?"
Her fingers tracing lightly over my chest was pure torture. I wanted to grab her, to claim her right there, but I forced myself to stay in control. "You're playing a dangerous game, you know that?" I said, my voice rough with restrained desire.
"I know," she said, her eyes glittering with mischief. "But where's the fun in safe games?" She stepped even closer, her body now almost pressed against mine. "Besides, I know you like it," she whispered, her breath hot against my ear.
I could feel my control slipping, my body begging me to take her right then and there. "Nat..." I said, my voice hoarse with restraint. "We can't... here. Someone could come in."
She pouted, feigning disappointment. "What, are you afraid someone's going to catch us? Where's your courage, soldier?" she teased, her fingers playing with the buttons on my shirt.
I gritted my teeth, fighting to keep my cool as her touch sent sparks down my spine. "You're pushing your luck, Natasha," I warned, moving her hand off creating somewhat of a distance between us.
But Natasha wasn't giving up that easily. She stepped towards me again, her eyes flashing with determination. "Why are you always so cautious?" she challenged. "You never take any risks. Never let yourself go."
I took a deep breath, trying to regain control of my emotions. "I was trained to be a soldier, Natasha," I said, my voice even. "Caution is what keeps us alive on the battlefield. We can't afford to take unnecessary risks."
She rolled her eyes, clearly not satisfied with my answer. "But we're not on the battlefield right now," she said, her tone frustrated. "We're here, in the safety of the compound, and yet you're still acting like we're in the middle of a war zone."
"I'm sorry I can't forget what went on my entire life. Caution is ingrained in me," I back away from her, "You keep failing to remember I've only been here two months. I don't belong like you do."
I could see the hurt in Natasha's eyes as I spoke, but I couldn't deny the truth in my words. No matter how much I pretended, deep down I still felt like an outsider, a weapon that had been trained for one purpose. It was hard to let go of the conditioning that had been instilled in me for years.
She looked at me, her expression softening slightly. "I know you've been through a lot," she said, her voice gentler now. "And I know that adjusting to life here hasn't been easy for you. But that doesn't mean you have to shut yourself off from everything, from me."
I sighed, feeling a mix of frustration and sadness. "I'm not shutting you out." I said, my voice weary. "I'm just trying to keep us safe. I'm trying to protect us from getting caught."
She takes a step towards me, "protect 'us'?" She asked.
I nodded, my eyes locked onto hers. "Yes, protect 'us'," I said firmly. "I care about you, Natasha. More than I ever thought possible. And I'll do whatever I can to keep us safe. Even if it means holding back, even if it means denying myself what I want more than anything right now."
"What am I to you?"
I paused for a moment, gathering my thoughts. Shes ...everything to me. She's the one person who's made me feel alive again, who's made me feel like there's more to life than just surviving. I care about her more than I've cared about anyone in a long time. Maybe... ever.
She could read me like a book. She knew the look in my eyes, the mixture of vulnerability and uncertainty. She knew there was something I wanted to say but was holding back. She gently took her hand in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"What are we, Lana? Because I don't want to be your reserved F.W.B." She looked at me for a long moment, searching my thoughts.
I finally spoke, my voice quiet and hesitant. "What if... what if I'm not good enough for you?"
She frowned, shocked by my words. "Not good enough for me?" She repeated, my disbelief clear in her tone. "Where on earth did you get that idea?"
I shrugged, looking away as if embarrassed by my own confession. "I don't know," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I just... I can't help but wonder sometimes. You're this perfect girl, a hero... and I'm damaged goods. I have a past I can't outrun, scars that will never fade. Things that I can't ever tell anyone."
She drew me closer, voice firm. "Alana, look at me," she said, gently tipping my chin up so she was looking into my eyes. "You are far from being not good enough for me. You are everything I've ever wanted, and more."
"You are strong, smart, beautiful... a force of nature. And all those qualities, and more, are what make me want you so damn badly." she continued, "so I ask again, what are we?"
I looked at her, seeing the mixture of hope and uncertainty in her eyes. I took her hands in mine, feeling her trembling slightly.
"Natasha," I said, my voice steady. "You know what I want. You know how much I care about you. But we've been dancing around this for weeks now, neither of us wanting to be the first to take the leap."
I paused, taking a deep breath. "So here it is. The leap. I want you. All of you."
The words hung in the air between us, heavy with meaning. She looked at me, her eyes wide and filled with a mix of surprise and something I could only hope was happiness. A second passed, then two, then three... and then she smiled.
"Took you long enough," she said, her voice laced with amusement, pulling me in for another kiss.
I let out a breath I didn't even realize I'd been holding, a wave of relief washing over me. I pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly. "You're a pain in my ass, you know that?" I muttered, my voice gruff as I buried my face in her hair.
"Yeah, but you already admitted you liked me," she teased, her arms wrapping around my waist.
"Lana," she said, her voice now more serious but gentle. "Once more thing.."
"What is it?" I wonder.
"I want to be with you. Really, truly be with you. But given our circumstances, maybe it's best if we start off casual for now. We have a lot to figure out, and I don't want to risk losing what we have by rushing into things too quickly."
I pulled back slightly, my eyes meeting hers, "So, we're doing this?" I asked, her voice a mix of excitement and nerves.
She nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "We're doing this."
It didn't matter how serious we were. Right? We would be casual, for now. I mean she said so herself.
We've both got baggage, issues to work through. I don't want us to rush into anything and end up ruining what we have before it even has a chance. She's right.
I can do casual.
Casual.
—————————-
knee deep in the passenger seat?
Sorry I had to