You know the sinking feeling you get in your stomach, just because your eyes see something they didn't expect to see in a long time or forever. Or how you feel every single thing around you beating, like its alive – the trees, rocks, snow, wind brushing coldly against your face. The moment you forget about everything around you and you want it to last forever, feel the adrenaline or energy hitting over your body in the matter of seconds. It a remainder us we're all human, with emotions, flaws and difference.
Like here we were him and I, gazing into each other's eyes like never before. Snow fell endlessly, melting on us, as he just stood there, cupping my face like never before. My eyes were shut, sucking in the affection his hands radiate on me. I know he was watching me, examining me from every corner possible. It wasn't creepy though, more like a pleasant feeling – the feeling of comfort. Because I knew he changed – a lot. Back then, his stares didn't mean a thing, or were good at not showing any feelings, just dull and emotionless. But now; he was shining with colourful emotions, like seeing my face causing too much of a burden to hide anything. The moment I told him everything there was to know about me, he accepted me, held me and made me feel good again. I wasn't rejected, mocked at, hell; I was embraced by not just him but a whole group of friends. They didn't see me as an outsider or a fighting machine, they didn't know that side of me – and I was grateful like never before.
Even as I didn't want this moment to end, I eventually embraced his hand and pulled it away from my face, exchanging a genuine smile with him. His eyes were shining endlessly blue, as my voice broke the cold silence.
''What are we doing here?''
He didn't seem surprised by my question; he rather curved his lips and shoved his hands into the coat's pockets. ''I needed to see you,'' he softly replied.
Levi looked amazing under the snowy surface. His raven black hair stood out of the white lair, as little snowflakes occasionally landed on his messy strings and coat. His skin was pale but not as bad as I the beginning, as his eyes were not an iron-grey looking like before. Checking him out right when the sun was falling down and half of his figure was shut under the shadow of the tree was perfect. He looked perfect. But fate seemed to love playing with me, and I couldn't flush, seeing how he raised an eyebrow, amused.
I was too embarrassed, plus my knowledge of words seemed to vanish, because I had no clue what to say. But Levi knew when to put me out of my misery.
''Please, I'm not the Christmas gift over here,'' he snickered, but as soon the words left his mouth, he widened his eyes as if he remembered something. ''if we're at this topic,'' he mumbled and searched for something inside of his pockets. I frowned, badly wanting to know what he was thinking of so I leaned forward, stopping inches before him. He had to feel my presence, since he glanced at me abruptly and surprised me by grabbing my wrist and pulling me closer, so I could feel his breath on my lips. By this time, my flaming butterflies were ready to jump at him, but I had to stay focused and leave him do what he wants.
Smiling wildly, he whispered:'' Close your eyes and don't peek.''
I did as he asked, only feeling his worm fingers tracing around my hand and then cold thin object touching my skin, making me tremble. Hearing him chuckle so close to me was hard not to just look at him and melt. Finally, his fingers left my hand and rather put a string of hair behind my ear.
''You can open them now.''
My eyelashes slowly flickered, as I gazed at my wrist in shock. Covering my mouth my eyes begin to tear, as he just held his hand on the back of my neck, smiling.
''Levi, I...'' I traced of. Nobody, other than my family has ever gave me something that precious, as this little golden bracelet, hanging around my wrist. It was thick and elegant, a small pendant shining under the fallen sun. It was in the shape of two wings, one blue and one white.
''The wings of freedom,'' Levi explained, caressing my hair gently, as I felt his gaze on me and couldn't resist but to return the favour.
I felt so bad; I had nothing to give him, as he surprised me by something that amazing. Levi seemed to see that written in my eyes, as he leaned even forward, our eyes in a straight line, noses lightly brushing together. ''I don't accept nothing from you in return, well nothing material,'' he whispered, making me giggle like a fool.
''This is just a symbol of how much you mean to me.''
''Why me?'' I had to ask, it was the perfect time. Being around with Levi was amazing, yet dangerous. I knew we weren't official, but there was a small chance, that will even happen. We both knew we would hurt someone with it, and that someone was my dear Eren – seeing him hurt because of me would be the end of me. He meant as much to me as Levi, and I knew, one of them will get hurt by the end of this. And I wasn't ready to face that, not yet.
Silent tears became rolling down my cheeks, as I looked away, quietly sobbing. I didn't want Levi to think strangely of me, plus these outbreaks were never present before in my life. But he was who he was, so he sensed the fear in my question. ''Look at me,'' he suddenly said seriously, his index fingers grabbed my chin, forcing me to look up at him. Hi eyes were sparkling; eyebrows frowned in a serious tone.
''You are carless, independent and strong, you don't care about those, who want to hurt you, yet you would do anything for those who mean a world to you.'' He gently cupped my face, brushing the tears away. ''You made me feel so much by just looking at you and I wasn't able to do that for many years before – before I meet you. And I can't just help but to be insane about you.''
With that breath taking speech, he leaned forward, roughly pressing his lips against mine, making me melt in the salty taste of my sorrows. The kiss wasn't gentle, caring or cute, it was passionate, rough and wild like never before. He held my face as if he didn't want me to slip away between my fingers and I couldn't but to groan. My hands were awkwardly somewhere in the air, as his traced back to my hair, pulling it aggressively. But I quickly find my way back to stick my fingers into his coat, bringing him even closer. He deepened the kiss by sucking on my lower lip and I couldn't but to shiver in his embrace. He made the air around so hot, made my mind spin endlessly by just kissing me in the cold snow. I slightly opened my mouth and he took the advantage of the situation by slipping his tongue in. Exploring my mouth, my knees barley held not to collapse and I would do everything to remain like this, but I had to pull back and take a long breath. Trembling in anxiety, I look up to see his amazing eyes, telling me everything without even speaking.
Words weren't even necessary in this moment, so he just wrapped his arms around my waist and planted a kiss on my forehead, as I rested my head on his shoulders. He was so worm to the touch and I could only close my eyes and stop the tears by falling any further, as my grip on him became rougher. I didn't want him to go, to disappear, only to remain like this for as long as possible.
''Merry Christmas,'' his voice softly echoed in my ears.
Can a person really be so happy for having someone so caring in his life?
*
''Where were you?!'' Eren sounded annoyed by my disappearance. It was late and I was standing on the doorway, almost frozen if Levi wouldn't walk me to our house. My mind still couldn't process everything that just happened.
And I can't just help but to be insane about you.
I giggled, thinking about his words, as I took of the coat dreamingly.
''You just missed Armin and why are you giggling?'' snapped my brothers voice through the air, pulling me to reality. I looked at him with blushed cheeks to see him leaning on the wall with arms folded across his chest and raised eyebrows. ''Where even were you?''
I knew he expected an answer right now but I had no idea what to say. He caught me completely off guard.
I was just hanging with Levi and he gave me this amazing bracelet and kissed me I almost melted.
''Just taking a Christmas walk, no big deal,'' I mumbled and sprinted up the stairs before he could interrogate me even further. Shutting the door behind me, I fell onto the bed, exhausted. The cosy sheets made me close my eyes and I almost fell asleep in a second if my phone wouldn't ruin the moment by vibrating in my pocket. I groaned and painfully unlocked my phone, but seeing the message made me smile like a fool.
See you at the New Year's party,
Levi.
--
-heya!
Sorry for keeping you waiting, but I was a little busy this weekend and the hot weather outside makes me soooo sleepy hhh ;)
But going to the chapter, quite cheesy right? Leave your comments and votes, telling me if you like chapters like this!
See yaa
-bye!