Chapter 29.
The ride home was-and I'm sure-filled with the sound of my beating heart.
I never knew anyone could make me feel so alive, so wanted, so...happy.
As my mother snored quietly in the backseat, I laid my hand across Xavier's thigh.
He glanced at me quickly before averting his eyes to the road, yet through the quick bursts of light from the lamp posts across his face, I could see his smile.
"You've gotten overly affectionate tonight." Xavier stated but I could hear the amusement dripping from his words.
"I'm allowed to be." I replied back. Xavier laid his hand over mine which was still on his thigh. He gave my hand a tight squeeze before moving it back to the gear stick.
"That you are." I could almost hear the smile in his voice.
Regardless of the fact my mother was being extremely cruel to Xavier, and being very unreasonable, it seemed to me as if it wasn't only myself who wore a smile brightly tonight.
The ride home didn't take that long at all, and before I knew it, we were parking onto the driveway.
However, even through the darkness of night I could see a silver car parked beside ours.
"Who's car is that?" Xavier looked to me puzzled. I shrugged in reply. I had never seen that car before.
Xavier shrugged in reply too before getting out of the car and going to the back doors. He opened them and quickly got my mother out of the car.
I went up to the silver car beside us and looked in through the windows. I couldn't see any evidence in knowing who's car this was. In fact, it was just too dark to see.
"Any ideas?" I heard Xavier ask from over the car. He lugged my mother out through the door by her shoulders and tucked her into his side. She was awake but not fully.
"Not a clue." I replied back. Xavier looked to me with his mouth to the side, unsure and curious. I felt the same way. "It could be my step dad, but I'm sure he drives a black jeep."
"It most probably is him then." Xavier nodded. "Christ, not another person to try and impress."
"You'll be fine." I smiled. My step dad was a little less cold and incredibly more inviting than my mother.
Xavier proceeded to drag my mother up to the front door. I unlocked it and we made our way inside.
The tv was blaring as soon as we entered, it was late but I knew my step dad didn't sleep much anyway.
It was weird seeing him home, my mother used to ring all the time to tell me she was lonely as he worked away most of the time. I guess it would be hard to be all alone in a house with no one but yourself for weeks on end.
Still, I didn't expect my step dad to be here.
"Shall I take her to bed?" Xavier cast his eyes downwards to my mother. I nodded my head. Bed was the best place for her right now.
With that, Xavier continued to pull her up the stairs until he was out of sight.
I opened the door into the living room. My step dad was sprawled out on the sofa, his eyes hooded as he watched the tele.
"I didn't know you were coming home." I stated as I made my way inside. My step dad's eyes laid eyes on me.
"I could say the same to you too. Your mother doesn't tell me bloody anything these days." He sat up and pats the seat next to him. I took his invitation and sat down beside him.
He had never been a bad person, and I always had that nagging thought that my mother was only with him because of the money in his bank account.
Despite the lack of a mansion (even though the place was pretty big) my step dad was extremely well off. And for the amount of work he puts in, I didn't doubt that for a second. He was always working.
"How's things?" I asked. My step dad huffed.
"Busy as usual. Where's your mother?"
"Drunk. Xavier took her to bed." I replied. My step dad looked to me.
"Xavier? Who's Xavier?" His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. "You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend, Em." I shrugged in reply.
I never told my step dad anything, my mother usually got there before I had the chance. But I never really spoke to my step father anyway unless he was home and I was too. Phone calls weren't really our thing.
"He'll be down in a minute so you'll be able to meet him. Please go easy on him, he's had-"
"A tough time with your mother? Yeah I can guess that much. She's just looking out for you, don't take it to heart." He smiled reassuringly my way.
When I was younger I never liked him. He wasn't allowed to replace my father, he wasn't allowed to love my mother. It was just her and I for a while and I thought he only came into my life to mess things up more than they already were. I was young, and lonely, scared and a little less accepting.
Growing up taught me that he wasn't all that bad. He was married to my mother and he made a hell of a lot of sense. I valued his opinions and views, because I learnt they were very close to my own.
Even though I didn't see him often or talk to him to catch up, I knew he was more of a father to me than anybody else and I realised I had to live with what I had. And I knew he'd help me with anything if and when I ever needed it.
I had to admit, I didn't know him as much as I would have liked. But it did make me want to value my time with him a little bit more.
And also, he didn't have any children and I was the closest thing to a daughter.
"I just want him to feel valued." And I really did. I desperately wanted him to feel valued, loved and needed. Hell, he needed it.
"Do you value him?" I looked to my step father.
"I value him more than anything." And I for once was adamant with that. I meant it, I really did.
"Then it doesn't matter about your mother. She'll come around, trust me, she always does. But I'll have a word with her when she's recovered from her drinking festivities." I laughed at him.
"Thanks, dad." He beamed my way before getting up from the sofa.
"S'alright kiddo. I'm going to check on your mother a minute." He ruffled the top of my head before moving to the door, putting a hand through his thick and greying hair. "Oh, hey Xavier, nice to meet you, I'm
I saw his hand being stretched out infront of him before Xavier's hand came out to accept it.
"Nice to meet you too." I heard Xavier's voice ring out from the hall. My dad then stepped aside.
"She's in there, mate." He clapped him on the back before rushing up the stairs to check on my mother.
Xavier sauntered into the room, his forehead a little wet from perspiration. The room got hotter as soon as he entered.
I guess I would never tire from
this feeling every time I saw him.
"Even mildly passed out she's hard to handle." Xavier stated as he flung himself backwards on to the couch beside me. "Like mother like daughter." Xavier winked my way.
"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes. Xavier turned his head until he was looking at me, as soon as I turned his eyes flickered down. "What?" I asked as I smiled. Xavier shrugged but a smile also played on his lips.
It was crazy how one person could make you smile so much. I didn't think I've ever smiled so much.
As I looked at Xavier, I could see his body leaning in whilst his eyes were still cast on my lips.
I could feel the electricity fly between us. I could feel that pull, that pull I always felt. I wanted him.
Xavier was an inch away from kissing me completely. I could feel his breath against my lips.
Just as Xavier was about to connect his lips to mine, his phone began to ring from his pocket.
His eyes moved down to the offending object in his pocket before letting out a sigh.
"Got to get this, babe." He pecked my lips but I knew it was nothing compared to what it was going to be. I smiled his way reassuringly and watched him take out the phone from his pocket and walk into the next room.
Left here alone, I decided to ring Katie. It had been a few days since I last spoke to her or Mali.
I retrieved my phone from my pocket and dialled her number hoping she would pick up.
She spent her holidays with her family too and she was usually busy, so I was surprised when Katie actually did pick up.
"Girl, you're missing all the fun." Katie said as soon as she answered.
"Am I?" I'm sure I was having a lot of fun with Xavier himself. But Katie and I always did have a great time together especially during the holidays.
"You sure are. I've been to so many parties already I can barely stay awake." Katie sighed.
"Aren't you meant to be spending time with your family?" I asked as I laughed.
"I have. And anyway, since when did you become boring? You'd be having a whale of a time if you were with me, you know." And I'm sure she was right. Even though my time here with Xavier was great.
Anything I did with Xavier was great. It seemed as if life could never be boring with him around. He was funny, entertaining and caring.
I shook my head slightly as I knew I was starting to become sloppy again as I thought of Xavier. Katie was always able to smell distraction and I knew she would know who infact was actually taking up my mind.
"Then we'll have to organise a night out when we're back." I stated. The idea already made me excited.
Even though Xavier didn't like me going, he'd have to live with it. I didn't want to make him angry, but I still wanted to be able to go out with my girls and do what I used to do.
I didn't want to change, and I certainly didn't want to change for someone else.
"I'll keep that in mind. Hey, I gotta go. Text me instead. Love you."
"Yeah, love you." And I hung up. I put the phone back into my pocket and sat back further on the couch.
Xavier had been a while already on the phone. My curiosity was burning within, but I wasn't going to snoop on him. It was his business and I'm sure he'd tell me if anything were bothering him.
I wasn't going to be that person. I didn't do the whole snooping thing.
With that said, I decided to go straight to my room. It was getting late and I was getting tired.
Being with my mother was hard work, I'll admit. Especially when she was drunk.
In all honesty I'd never really seen her drunk, usually just tipsy and that was only when she had friends over. My mother loved to hold a cocktail evening at least once a month or whenever she could.
It's not like she didn't have the time anyway.
As I passed my mother's and my step dad's room in the corridor, I realised the lights were off.
Obviously my step dad had called it a night. And my mother was too drunk to even know what time of night it was.
I shook my head but I couldn't help the small laugh escape my mouth.
I made it to my bedroom, and as soon as I did I quickly got changed in to my sleep wear.
I went to quickly brush my teeth before jumping in to bed. I moved over until I was on the right side of the bed closest to the window.
It was crazy how easily Xavier and I got in to routine when it came to everyday things.
You always knew your relationship was becoming a 'normal' thing (if it could ever be called that) by the way you had an assigned spot in bed.
I turned over to switch the lamp off beside me, with that I laid my cheek against my pillow.
However, just as I closed my eyes, the door opened and the corridor lights came flooding into the room.
I squinted and sat up to look at him.
"Everything okay?" I asked. Xavier turned on the bedroom light and turned away from me as he went to his suitcase.
"Yeah." Was his one word response. I nodded my head even though I knew he couldn't see me.
"That's good." I wanted to ask who was on the phone, not to be nosey, but just because I took an interest in him. "Who was it?"
"No one you know." He clipped. He quickly took off his clothes and dumped them on top of his suitcase before zipping it up.
He turned around and came to the bed. I looked at him but he wasn't looking at me.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked, concern gripping my insides. Something was right. He seemed...off.
"Can you just drop it?" He snapped. I was affronted, and so I lifted up my arms as a surrender and turned around.
I laid down, quite unsure what his problem was and what had made him so rattled.
I felt Xavier move to switch the lights off, before the bed dipped. I could feel the warmth of his body, and I was sure he was going to put his arms around me, like he did every other night, and hold me.
I was sure he was going to say he was sorry and that he was just a little stressed.
But he didn't.
And I was left wondering what the hell went wrong. Who phoned him? Why was he so cold?
Should I wake up and make him talk to me? I was at a loss. Shouldn't I do something? Anything?
"Xavier..."
"Look, Emily, can you just fucking drop it? I really don't want to talk about it." Xavier let out. I could feel his body rigid and tense beside me, even when he was half way across the bed.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" I didn't want to pressure him in to telling me anything. But I was worried and maybe he just wanted to talk after all? Maybe he did want to get it off his chest?
At least I knew I tried.
"If you don't shut up I seriously will sleep down stairs." Xavier replied. I sighed and laid back down.
"Okay." At least I knew I put the effort in to talk. I knew when he got angry he didn't really know what he said. That was okay, even though I was angry. But I didn't want to rile him up anymore than he was.
Knowing Xavier, he'd drive all the way home without me if that's what it took for him to calm down.
"Good night." I said, but my word was left hanging in the air as no reply was made.
I closed my eyes, but I couldn't help the sadness over take me.
What went wrong tonight?
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I'm so sorry I took ages and ages to update, but here it is:) I went on holiday and then I had massive writers block for a so I decided to just take a break and whatever:)
I hope you enjoyed.
Love you x