Chapter 10 Part 2:
*Louis' P.O.V.*
I sometimes don't even understand my own actions. I have no clue why I jumped down Liam's throat like that, but if I could I would take it all back. Later I would go and apologize to him, because right now he seemed very troubled and I could not help but feel that it was all my fault. Zayn's words were stuck in my head, playing over and over again like a catchy tune. I did not want him to be right, but I knew from all the time I had spent with the lad that Zayn was always the first to pick up on things and was never wrong. If only he could help us forget out how to fix the real problem if it truly had nothing to do with Delia.
As if on cue, Delia entered the performance area as the last note of Last First Kiss left Zayn's mouth. She sat herself down between Harry and Liam, directly in the middle, bringing the center of attention on her, exactly how I was sure she planned. All of the fans at my feet had begun to clap, but were now whispering about the new girl who had just entered. Why did she wait until the song was over to enter? Why was she late? I was pretty sure it was because of the whole attention thing.
"Sorry." she mouthed to Liam, and he nodded, but I rolled my eyes. Hopefully no one noticed. The host of the interview began to clap and the camera cut to her as she smiled.
"That ladies and gentleman was One Direction, please stay tuned for when we come back we will be asking the band a few personal questions and even play a little game." She winked like she had a secret, which immediately worried me. She stepped over to us, and the boys and I immediately stood to greet her and shake her hand. The woman was most likely in her early forties, with inky black hair and I smile that gave me chills. Hopefully her co-host would be more welcoming. "I'm Sandra." she greeted proudly, like it was an honor to meet her.
I shook her hand reluctantly, and decided to introduce us, "I'm Louis. This is Zayn, Harry, Niall, Liam, and Delia." I said, pointing at each one of my band mates and Delia as I spoke. No matter what I would strongly hold to the denial of Delia actually being in the band. Maybe if I refused to accept it, it would cease to be true.
"So nice to meet you all." She smiled and motioned for us to follow her out of the small performance area. We waved good-bye to the tiny amount of fans that spent a lot of money to see our recording for the live show tonight. At the beginning of the show they would play the video of us singing like it was live and then cut a little later to us as we joined the talk show hosts. We had done this enough times to know the whole process, except for Delia, who most likely had no clue. I was sure Mr. Payne, the suck-up, would not hesitate to explain.
"We will start in twenty, after we view the performance, and then I will just start out by asking a few of the regular questions." Sandra said over her shoulder as we were led up more stairs to the backstage. "I had viewers send in some truth or dare questions, so we will then play that for the show. It's an hour long, so hopefully we can get a few dirty little secrets out on the table as we play." She winked again, reminding me of a sleazy con artist who is entertaining you with a magic trick while he is stealing your watch and wallet behind your back. It was so hard to trust anyone in the entertainment business these days, but with luck the six of us may make it out of this little truth or dare game intact. We would just have to hide the fact that things were a little "uneasy" between all of us. Ever since that upset back at Nando's Liam and Zayn have avoided Harry and I, while Niall has seemed to stay away from all of us, with Zayn's words hovering over our heads.
With this issue amongst us, the whole disliking Delia thing may become even harder to hide. I glanced back at my band, a worried expression on my face, and found everyone wearing the exact same one. At least we were all worried together, it was truly a group bonding moment. I rolled my eyes mentally and found that we had arrived directly outside of the entrance to the stage, but since I was not paying attention I walked straight into the hard back of a man turned away from me.
"Oh, sorry!" I apologized as he turned. He wore a black suit and tie, with a short haircut and framed glasses on his bulbous nose.
"It's fine, young man." He said, smiling. "You're Louis Tomlinson, am I right?"
"Yes, I am." I grinned cheekily, seeing out of the corner of my eye that Sandra was pulling the rest of my band mates and Delia towards a corner. "And you are?"
"Daniel." Was all he said and offered me his hand which I shook. "First time on London Today?"
"Yes, actually." I admitted, wondering if I should be heading over to everyone else, but this man seemed quite nice and talking for a few minutes could not hurt, right?
"You nervous?"
"Well, usually I would say no, since I have done a lot of interviews but today is just..."
"Different?" I nodded. "Why is that, if I may ask?" He did not seem nosy, only curious and I relaxed a bit, feeling comfortable talking to him and his soothing voice.
"Well..." My eyes wandered over to Delia, watching the way she stood behind Liam like he was a shield, and was obviously shaking even from here. I could tell she was just as nervous, if not more, as the rest of us were about tricking the world into thinking we have no problems. "We just had a new addition to the band and everything..."
"Oh yes!" said Daniel, snapping like he just remembered something. "I heard about that. How is going?"
"It's... interesting, since we aren't exactly getting along." I blurted and shrugged. "I'm not sure how well it is working out, but we have to act like it is all fine in front of the camera, anyway, so people think we like each other. I'm kind of nervous I will let something slip up like we did last interview."
"I completely understand." He said, knowing in his grey eyes. "Well, I wish you the best of luck."
"Thanks, mate." He patted my shoulder as he left and I returned to the others, taking notice that Sandra and her devious winking had disappeared.
"Who was that?" asked Niall, curiously.
"Not really sure." I replied honestly. "What did that woman have to say?"
Liam frowned, a little skeptical about the man I had spoken with, but replied, "She was just telling us about her extensive career in the talk show business, and how important it was that we did not steal the spotlight from her, and just give her a good show." Liam would not even look me in the eyes. I knew I had really insulted him by saying anything happened between him and Delia. I even knew how farfetched it was as I said it, too. Liam was in a great relationship with Danielle, and besides being too much of a goody-two shoes to do such a thing, when would he even have time to do anything? I could not put it beneath Delia to do such a thing, but the scenario was still ridiculous.
"Hey, Liam I want to-"
"Not now, Lou." He met my eyes and I could read what he meant. That I could apologize later, because he was ready to forgive me. Liam is the best.
"Fifteen minutes until show time." Said a passing man, a head set around his neck.
"Oh my gosh."
I whirled at the faint sound of Delia's voice, wondering what type of attention she was seeking out, now, but I froze when I saw her face. She was deathly pale, and her forehead was sweaty, her lips trembling and hands fisted in her blouse. Even if I thought she could be a bit dramatic at times, I knew there was no way possible she could fake this.
"What's wrong?" Harry jumped to help her in a second. I knew he was just being his usual caring and sensitive self, but I flared with anger. Harry was always the first to go to someone's aid, whether it was a fainting fan or an actress faking pregnancy. He truly just wanted for people to be safe and know he was there for them, but I did not want him to do that for anyone besides me, especially not Delia. Delia did not deserve for him to help her, so of course I snapped.
"Whatever it is get over it. We need to be ready for the interview." Zayn turned to me with a bitter grimace.
"She isn't alright, mate." He said incredulously, like he could not believe I was being so inconsiderate. It surprised me, too, though and beside the hatred for Delia, and the strange jealousy over Harry, lay undeniable regret. I really do not understand myself these days.
"I think she's hyperventilating, Li." Niall said, a hand on Delia's elbow like it may help her situation. She was breathing hard and quick, unable to get good air into her lungs. He eyes were wide and she looked scared. I recognized that look.
"Maybe we should call someone-" Liam began, but I interrupted.
"She's having a panic attack." All eyes turned to me. "One of my friends in primary got them a lot before major tests. He would just start panting and sweating and couldn't stop for several minutes, sometimes hours."
"Well, what do we do?" Harry questioned, watching Delia with fear.
I shrugged, trying to remember what Stan had always needed. "Get her some water, and try to calm her down. We have to let her stop on her own." Niall immediately took off for the water fountain, as Liam rested a hand on Delia's shaking shoulder.
"Delia, it's going to be alright. There is no need to be nervous."
She laughed at that, or at least I guessed that weird snort noise was a laugh through all the panting.
"I know we don't..." Liam met my eyes. "Always get along, but what we said before is true. We can help you if you let us. You are in the band now so we just have to be here for each other." Delia was beginning to make a scene as a few of the backstage workers passing began to stare. To shield her from their curious eyes we surrounded her on all sides, keeping her in tight huddle between the four of us. I knew that some people experiencing panic attacks needed a lot of space to calm down, but Delia apparently needed the exact opposite. Her breathing was slowing down and color began to come back to her cheeks.
Harry reached out to rub her lower back, but as soon as his hand made contact with her skin she jumped and flinched away. Harry did not look hurt, only surprised and a bit... confused, maybe? I ignored what happened as Delia released a shaky breathe, "Sorry, I...I..." she gulped. "I've never had a panic attack before, I just couldn't stop thinking about everything and... then I realized there would be a live audience and I just..."
"Panicked?" Zayn finished for her.
"Yea." She breathed.
"On in five." Said the headset guy, as Niall returned with a gulp of water.
Delia muttered a thanks as she grabbed the water and swished it down quickly. She seemed to be doing just fine now, but I was a little shaken up myself. I did not realize how much stage fright Delia got. Sure, I had heard her speaking with Niall and Liam earlier in the parking garage, but had passed it off as a way for her to trick us into liking her. I had even thought that Niall had fallen for it, but it seemed that he had not yet made up his mind about whether he agreed with me or Liam. Delia had not been faking it, because I had seen enough panic attacks in my lifetime to recognize when it is legit.
"Thanks." Delia repeated, and I suddenly realized we were all still very close to her. We backed away as one, all except for Harry, who seemed quite comfortable standing directly behind her.
"No problem." Liam shrugged. "You good, now?"
She nodded, but I had seen the hesitation just like the rest of the lads sure had. She was having serious stage fright, and there was no way she could hide it after all that. If Delia, who had brought herself into this mess by conniving with Richard Griffiths and making that whole scene at the concert, was nervous about a simple live interview, then we should surely be a little worried. I was now more than a little.
I heard cheering and applauding come from the stage, and knew that it had begun. I heard Sandra introduce herself and announce her special guests for tonight's show. She rambled on a bit about our newest successes and how the mystery girl of One Direction had appeared at a concert, and then was announced a member of the band. Hearing her say it all, made me despise the whole situation even more. Once she was done speaking, our performance from about thirty minutes ago was played, showing the lads and I singing, with Delia entering at the last second to shoot the camera a smile.
The attention went back to the hosts and Sandra smiled like a Cheshire cat, "And now, ladies and gentleman, may I present to you One Direction!"
Our song 'Kiss You' played over the entire stage as we walked out, Harry in the lead followed by Delia, Liam, me, Niall, and lastly Zayn. We sat down in that order, in our own personal chairs, instead of awkwardly having to share one large couch again, because we truly no longer fit. I had my attention on the large audience of mostly teenage girls and waved at them with a smirk. Lately, the press had been accentuating that I hated the fans, because of how the whole "Larry romance" had almost ruined my relationship with Eleanor, and I was pretty sure that the fans believed it, too. However, I knew those fans shipping Harry and I as a couple were just ignorant and only half of the fan base. It was no reason to hate them, considering all the support they had given us, but I had to admit I did not appreciate being called gay. I loved Harry, but he was just my friend, my best friend, in fact, but it wall platonic. We were very intimate towards each other, but there was nothing sexual about it.
I glanced over at Delia to check that she was alright, and she had once again put on that charming little smile that won people over in a second. I knew it was hiding her nervousness, but she was at least a really good actress. Liam reached out quickly to pat Delia's hand and they shared a quick smile. Great, the fans would see that and believe they get along as friends just fine. So far we may have them fooled, I just hope we can keep it up for an hour as long as we do not get asked any questions that may reveal anything too personal.
"Well, hello, boys. How are you all doing today?" said a man's voice. I tensed at the sound of the co-host speaking, and dread knotted in my stomach.
Slowly, I turned to face Daniel, sitting beside Sandra in his nice suite, smiling with a pleased gleam in his eye. He had already made his plans, I knew, and was gloated in his success of having the information I voluntarily released.
I am a bloody idiot.
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*Delia's P.O.V.*
I am a bloody idiot.
I could not believe that I had let myself get so nervous that I had a flat-out panic attack. At first I had just been a little shaky as I stood behind Liam, hearing him speak to the host woman, whatever her name was I had not been paying attention. Then she walked away and I saw through the side she exited a large crowd of people, patiently waiting for us to walk out on the stage that resembled every other talk show with a desk for the hosts and six separate chairs for each of us. They would be able to see our every movement clearly and hear every word we said with clarity. I, of course, would be addressed often over the hour long show because no one knew anything about me and the audience would be interested to how I was adjusting. It would be so easy to mess up, especially knowing how well I was at making mistakes.
That was about the moment that I began to stop breathing correctly and feeling a deep cold run underneath my skin. I could not even pay attention to what was going on until I felt the presence of four warm bodies move even closer and I suddenly felt safe from all the insecurity and fear running through me. I was able to calm myself down and stop the horrible shaking and sweating, along with the ragged breathing. Coming out of the attack, I realized the four people surrounding me and making me feel protected were none other than the ones who caused most of the insecurity. They had stayed by me and helped me rather than ran off to get someone to help and draw attention to the fact that I could not handle this. Niall had appeared with a cup of water and after drinking it down unceremoniously it was time to go out on stage.
Don't freak, Delia, they are just people and you will be fine. This quickly became my chant as I sat down in the chair next to Harry, crossing my ankles and trying to look nice. Liam patted my hand as I heard the male host asked a question, I turned to Liam to give him a smile to show him I was not experiencing any hints of another attack, but the cold voice of Louis brought a frown to both of our faces.
"We are doing just peachy." He said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, smirking at the male host. "How are you doing, Daniel?"
"I am doing fine, thank you, young man." The two seemed to be sharing a staredown of power to see who had the better cards in this game they were playing.
The woman host smirked at this, so she must be in the loop and then turned to us. "So, everyone, how was the first concert of your new tour, Take Me Home?"
"It was great." Liam replied. "It was fun and the crowd was great. We are all very glad to be back on tour."
"So you are still excited about touring, then?"
Liam's forehead scrunched in confusion, "Why...yes, of course we are. Why would we not be? We love being able to see our fans all over the world."
"But you have a new member." The woman motioned towards me with a flick of her wrist. "Delia will be going with you pretty much everywhere. She will be at every practice, every red carpet event, the hotels, on the tour bus, and at the concerts with you. Doesn't it feel a bit...intrusive to have a new girl?"
"It's going to be a little different," Liam kept a perfectly blank face. "But we will adjust and make sure Delia feels welcome during all of it. The lads and I are sort of used to this life and we just hope we can make her comfortable with us."
"Hmm..." she seemed skeptical, but turned her prying questions towards Harry. "And how do you exactly 'make her comfortable' with you and this new experience?"
Harry smirked, causing a cute dimple to appear on his left cheek. It was honestly the most attractive thing I had ever seen in my entire life, and yes I knew I should not even be thinking that right now. "So basically we have just tried to get to know one another and like... we've mostly been joking around with each other and it's kinda like we were just friends from the start."
"Oh is that so?" asked Daniel. He knew something, and from the distress on Louis' face, it was something big. "So... you get along fine? Because that is really what the whole world wants to know at this point. One Direction has always been five great mates and they have been known for that, but with Delia in the group now, are you still all friends?"
I expected there to be no hesitation, because of course the other five were all friends so they could easily say yes and it be only slightly a lie, but instead there was a short pause before Zayn replied, "Definitely. We will always be friends."
"And now Delia will be, too." Louis finished and smirked. I began to relax out how well we were handling these questions, especially since they were pretty difficult. The hosts seemed to know something was up and were hoping to dig up the dirt and be the first to release the information. Hopefully, we could hold our own for the next hour to keep it all a secret.
"That's quite... interesting." Daniel smiled and rubbed his hands together. "Well, enough of the third degree. We have had our fans tweet in some questions for you and would like to ask them to you now. You boys up to it after this short commercial break?"
"Absolutely," Louis replied almost evilly and a man behind the camera motioned that it had cut to commercial. Within seconds Louis was on his feet, hovering over the television hosts with a heaving shoulders. "What game are you two playing?"
Liam stood and rested a hand on his friend's lower back to calm him. There was a crowd of at least thirty or forty people in here and we did not need them thinking something was up. "Easy." I heard him whisper.
Louis turned with one last snarl at the completely calm Daniel and Sandra and leaned down in front of me and Harry, the other three gathering around. "They know, mates. Don't let them catch you off guard."
"What did you do?" asked Zayn from the huddle.
Louis sighed, "I got distracted because when Delia entered to get attention it upset me."
"I was not doing that for-"
Louis held up a hand and met my eyes with his blue ones. "Not now." He stood and returned to his chair beside Liam, followed by the others. Harry stared at the floor in front of him, deep in thought. He must be more worried than he had let anyone seen. Not that he had been all that optimistic, but it was his career on the line after all.
One of the men with the cameras spoke up too quickly with a, "We're back" after what only felt like seconds.
"Hello," greeted Sandra. "Welcome back to London Today where we are here with Harry, Louis, Niall, Liam, Zayn, and Delia of One Direction where we have been asking the real questions. One Direction have-" The woman went through the recent news about us, beginning with the newest album released, the info on the tour, and the broadcast made by the head of Modest. I pretty much zoned out during it, since I was already quite aware of everything going on and did not need it repeated. I was snapped back to attention by, "Delia... Delia?"
Harry nudged my shoulder lightly and I said, "Excuse me?" with a blush on my cheeks, realizing Sandra had been trying to get my attention.
"We thought we'd lost you, love." She giggled. "I asked if you would like to receive the first question."
"Oh, I would love to." I said with a humiliated smile on my face.
Sandra motioned towards the screen behind her where a picture of a tweet appeared, along with the twitter profile names of the person who sent it in. "'This is a good one right here: Delia, we know near nothing about you. Can you please dish the basics?'"
I nodded along as I also read it and agreed that it was definitely a good question. Tori had told me she was trying to get that info out, but there were probably thousands of Directioners still in the dark. "Well my full name if Delia Layne Stanford. I am eighteen and am from a small town in Alabama. I love music and... I don't really know what else to say." I shrugged and glanced down the line of boys to my left, seeing that Liam, Louis, Niall, and Zayn were all paying close attention to what I said. They, of course, did not even know my age.
"That's fine. So you are officially the youngest of the band." Sandra stated. "You beat Harry by a year. Do you think that means the rest of the band need to protect you, since you are now the most innocent?"
"Eh, she doesn't need protection." Niall said jokingly, with a wave of his hands.
"We need protection from her." Zayn shot back, looking at his friend. The crowd laughed at their banter but quieted as I spoke up.
"No, I think I might need a little protection if they are willing." I gave a shy smile to them and they smiled back equally as timid. The worst part about all of this is that it is impossible to tell if what we are saying to each other is even the truth. I feel like I am being honest, but most of what I am doing is for the camera and crowd. The rest of my band is obviously doing the same, right? After this interview is over nothing we say now will even matter. That hurts the most, but I have to hide it, because my job as being in the band was not to become friends with One Direction, just make them look good. If I messed that up I would not have the writing career I dreamt of and my family would not get the money they needed. I was being selfish to think being friends with the five men around me even mattered.
"I think we can try to shelter our innocent, little Delia as long as possible." Louis said, and it almost sounded like mocking again. As he reached forward to pinch my cheek for the second time today I almost slapped him in the face, but I held it in and let him do it, though I had to grit my teeth. "Right, lads?"
After they all agreed, Daniel read off the next question from the screen, "Delia, being a girl and all, do you think you will end up being the responsible one and become Mummy Direction?" Everyone laughed at that, particularly me, as I thought about the ridiculousness of that statement.
"No... n-no." I said through giggles. "I won't become Mommy Direction. In my group of friends I was always the first one to do the stupid, crazy thing we usually got in trouble for. I, in no way, can ever be called responsible and will only end up getting everyone in more of a mess if I am left in charge." The hosts both began to laugh now, finding my honest response amusing.
Liam groaned dramatically, "Oh great. Another one to try to keep out of prison." He rolled his eyes and rested his head in his hands like he was defeated. I giggled as I shrugged, not denying anything. I got myself in enough trouble with out five boys, and I had enough evidence to prove it.
Sandra grinned, "So if you don't play Mummy Direction what role do you play? In fact, what role does everyone play?"
There was a heavy silence as everyone thought hard about it before Niall piped up, "I'm the background laughter you hear everywhere we go. That's my role. I laugh."
More chuckles and giggles burst out through the crowd, along with the hosts and especially Niall's friends. They could not agree more, and even I knew it was true. Niall's laugh was funny itself, so it was contagious, but his laugh almost signified happiness in a way and brought a smile to your own face. Maybe it was just me, but I loved Niall's laugh.
Zayn slapped Niall's shoulder. "Yea... you do. You are the optimistic one, though. You always find a reason to look at the bright side."
"That's why his hair is blonde." Harry added and we all glanced at him blankly. He grinned and lifted his hands as he shrugged, "You know... his hair is bright, because he finds the bright things in life? No? Okay, nevermind." His cheeks flushed red and the dimple appeared by his lips as they pulled into a tiny smile. My stomach fluttered, and I had to tear my eyes away from the adorable boy as Liam spoke.
"Harry is in charge of the bad jokes."
He pouted deeply and crossed his arms over his chest, which was clearly well toned underneath his thin white shirt. "Am not. I play the role of..."
"Womanizer." Zayn joked.
Harry jumped to the edge of his seat, "If I'm a womanizer then you are the flamboyant, obnoxious one!"
Louis gaped, "Whoa now, Harry. That is obviously me."
"I thought you were the leader." I stated questioningly, remembering a video from what must have felt like ages ago to them.
Louis shook his head at me over Liam, "Nope, that's only on Tuesdays." He smiled, knowing where I was getting that and I smiled back. I liked how they were when they pretended not to hate me. It made me long even more to understand why they did in the first place.
The twitter questions progressed like this, with pointless ones and silly answers. We managed to be serious on a few of them, like which was our favorite song on the album and what country we were looking forward to visiting. Except when yet another question directed to me appeared. Sandra read off the screen behind her, "For Delia. Who is your celebrity crush?"
Liam snorted discreetly like he knew I would be asked this question, so with the most serious face that I could manage I responded with, "Liam Payne, all the way."
"Knew it." Louis muttered under his breath, but he had a mic attached to his collar so everyone and their brother heard what he said. I was confused, but Liam took no moment of hesitation to kick Louis' ankle as hard as possible.
"Ouch!" He cried and crossed his ankle over his knee to rub it soothingly.
"That's pay back for yesterday morning." Liam growled and I grinned. Even though I had no clue what was going on I was happy Louis had gotten kicked. He deserved it every once in a while. The other men...still not sure if I can call them that... just laughed knowingly at the scene. I had just joked about it being Liam, but something had happened and I would need to remember to ask about it later.
Once everyone's attention was focused back on the hosts, a chill ran down my spine. Their smiles were almost malicious, like hungry lions finally about to catch their pray, or nosy paparazzi about to catch a band in a lie. Daniel cleared his throat to read off the next tweet, though it did not appear until he finished, because he did not want us to be prepared to answer.
"This is just a publicity stunt right, to get more fans over a girl member? This isn't seriously because anyone wants her to be in the band or because she sounds good with you. Am I correct?" Daniel's last words were more of a sneer as he locked eyes with me, a sly grin on his face. If he did not look so harsh now I would believe he was a kind man, with his bald head and spectacles over warm brown eyes. I understood why Louis spilled a little too much, especially since he said he was distracted and we were all very nervous. Even then I could not help but to feel angry at him for not keeping his mouth shut. Did his mother never tell him not to talk to strangers? Especially when you are a famous pop star trying to keep a secret! Now, because of his slip up the hosts were asking this question so we could mess everything up. I love Louis Tomlinson so freaking much right now that I just want to hug him so tight he chokes and dies.
I glanced up, looking away from my hands which I had previously been glaring at to hold back anger and realized Liam had begun to talk.
"... we just click, and everyone realized that. It is definitely a surprise and yes, it will get a lot of publicity, but this just makes the band better and takes it to a whole new level. And when you are at the point that we are, you are ready to take the next step in your career. We just took it and hope it does some good. Delia fits and looks good with us, but that isn't the only reason she is here. You are correct in that. This is about moving forward."
Liam may have chosen the wrong career choice, because he should have become a professional speaker, or liar more accurately.
Niall nodded his head and shifted forward to speak, "Or forgetting about the past and hoping for something new."
"What is this for you, Delia?" Sandra asked.
I shrugged, "A chance, I guess. I never expected any of this, so I just have to take what I get. Maybe this is the next level for One Direction, but for me... well, it's just the beginning and that is exciting."
"It must be." Sandra nodded, seemingly sincere for a moment until: "Are you saying you want a solo career?"
I almost choked on air.
"No!" I said, shaking my head frantically. "I never want to go solo. I am not and never will be ready for that. It isn't what I wanted. I am just fine being in a band."
Sandra looked confused and I realized that I should just up. "What is it that you wanted then, Delia?"
I shrugged, and stared down at the ground, fidgeting the feet beneath my gaze uncomfortably as I thought. "I don't know what I want, but until I find out what it is I hope everything finds its own way. Just because I don't know what exactly my dream is, doesn't mean it isn't coming true right now." No one in the audience, or anyone around me seemed to understand what I was saying by the puzzled looks, but that was fine because I did understand. It was what Tori and my mother had been trying to tell me. I just need to go with the flow, and things may turn out right. This may end up being everything I ever wanted. Or I could be terribly wrong....
"So you're just lucky?" Daniel cleared, trying to understand what I was saying. "This just happened and you don't know why?"
Grinning widely now, I replied, "I'm not lucky. This happened for a reason. It wasn't for publicity, or to make the band look good, or to get a broader fan base because I am girl. I just don't know what the reason is yet. I'm in One Direction now, no questions asked."
Daniel and Sandra spent several moments trying to recover from their initial shock before turning to the camera and saying, "We'll be right back with One Direction after this short break." The co-hosts stood and exited the staging area momentarily, most likely to discuss how they were going to trick anything out of me now since I gave the most confusing answers the world has ever know, but I actually felt really good about it. Secure, almost.
"Good job, Delia." Liam said. "Really." He then turned slowly to Louis and whisper-yelled, "You idiot! If we had not recovered from that question like we did we would be getting a call from management right now saying we are done. Why on earth would you tell some random stranger anything personal?"
Louis would not meet Liam's eyes. "I just wanted someone to talk to." He mumbled innocently and all my anger at him washed away. He had not done any damage really. We survived the hosts third degree even though they were trying to get us to slip up and say something about hating what was going on or any other truths like that. We just had twenty more minutes on this show and we will have survived another interview, partially unscathed.
Liam huffed, "Then talk to us, Lou. Tell us what's bothering you not some-"
"I can't anymore!" Louis shouted and if the crowd behind had not been chattering and moving around loudly everyone would have heard.
While I was just a little surprised at Louis' outburst, the rest of the band was absolutely shocked speechless. The four men stared at Louis with pain-filled, unbelieving eyes, but when I turned to look at Harry it was heartbreaking. I thought they were best friends, like brothers, really. Who knew something was wrong? You know, besides there being an unwanted member.
Harry said quietly, "You can tell us anything, Loubear."
"No, Harry." Louis snapped back, then at the look of hurt on Harry's face he softened and said, "No, I can't."
Not only did I enter a band full of best friends who did not need a sixth member, but I just walked into a band full of unresolved issues and secrets.
Secrets that could end up destroying the band without any help from me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*Harry's P.O.V*
This has to be the most interesting day of my life, second only after the time the boys and I climbed out of the back window of the tour bus without telling anyone and having the bus driving away and ending up having to chase the bus for several blocks before anyone realized they were missing passengers. This morning had been bad enough with Will coming to visit us, and then the interview when I had gotten all riled up over Delia's little comment. The afternoon had been increasingly difficult when Louis and I had ganged up on Liam, which I still felt guilty about. That should have never happened and we should have never let it get so out of hand. When Zayn had made that comment about Delia not being the problem, I had not understood and instead ignored it and acted like he never said a thing. It seemed everyone else had to, since Zayn never even spoke another word after it, but apparently it has been on everyone else's mind but mine. I had other things on the brain right now, starting with the girl in the chair next to me.
I hated her. She was annoying, an attention seeker, never thought before she did anything, and always was able to hit every single one of my nerves. Yet, when I saw how she treated that fan outside today when she thought no one was watching I felt something start in my chest =, something that made my head spin with racing thoughts trying to dominate one another. When she had walked past me, her scent of strawberries floating up to my nose, all I could do was say, "So that's you."
She just acted so kind and compassionate to that girl who was dealing with self-harm, that it made me wonder if she was really all that despicable after all. I still disliked her, because she had done too many wrong things for one good point to change my mind, but she has definitely given me something to think about it.
I cannot stop thinking about everything she does, and although I think I hate her, all I am sure of is how strongly I feel something for her. Delia, practically a stranger, the girl who breaks my phone and yells at me, the girl who cries for others and calls them beautiful, is the only thing consuming my thoughts.
My ears perked up subconsciously at what Liam was saying, "Then talk to us, Lou. Tell us what's bothering you not some-"
"I can't anymore!" I heard Louis say from a few seats away from me. My head shot up to see what was going on and I leaned forward around Delia and Liam to see his face pale and eyes dreary. He looked almost terrified, but very tired at the same time.
What did he mean he could not tell us? Were we not his band mates? Was I not his best friend? I know that before the tour started we had drifted a little, as I hung out with another crowd and he spent time with his girlfriend, Eleanor, but recently I thought we were getting closer again. Saying he could not talk to me? That was crazy.
My voice weak from the surprise I said, "You can tell us anything, Loubear.'' I thought a nickname might soothe him, but it only made him snap.
"No, Harry!" I jerked backwards at his biting response and felt my heart jolt with pain. "No, I can't." So, was it that he did not trust me with any secrets, was that it? I was good at keeping secrets and I knew I would never judge Louis about anything. Did he just not want to tell me because he did not like me anymore? Maybe he wanted to tell me he wanted to stop being my friend. That was too painful to think about, right now. I loved Louis, he had been my best friend since he jumped into my arms that day on the X-Factor. To think that he could not talk to me anymore, broke my heart. What had I done to lose him? But more importantly, where had my Louis gone and how could I get him back?
The hosts of the show walked back out on stage, and the audience hushed to listen. The silence on the stage felt too strong, too heavy, but maybe it was just the fact that we were completely knackered over Louis' reaction. No one, especially not me, expected for him to say something like that. As the hosts moved into the swivel chairs behind the desk, I saw Delia slump back into the chair beside me out of the corner of my eye. Even though I felt rejected and unwanted by my best friend, and pain was shooting through my heart with every breath, I could not help but wondering what she tought about all of this.
"Welcome back, once again to London Today." greeted Sandra, but I only heard her voice from far away, not really listening to anything. I let my eyes wander down the line of people to my left, until they found Louis, who was biting his lip and fiddling with the fingers in his lap. I had known him for nearly three years now, and thought I knew everything about him. However, it turns out he could not even talk to me, or anyone of us, for that matter, now, and that was more than I could take. I would bring him back to me, no matter the things he was hiding.
*Flashback*
"She doesn't even matter." Louis said, reaching out to bring me into a tight hug. "She doesn't deserve you."
I was trying to hold back tears as I rested my head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent of apples and aftershave. "I.. just like her... so much."
Louis sighed, and grabbed my shoulders to hold me out at arms length. I wish he had not, because now he could see the tears streaming from my eyes, and my lip shaking with every shuddering breath. "Emma is so stupid to not want to be with you. I know you better than anyone and I'm not even sure there is a girl out there worthy of you."
I gasped, "That doesn't help, Lou! I want to be with someome!"
"Sorry." He chuckled a bit, but I did not find any humour in any of this. My girlfriend of four months had broken up with me, with the excuse of "long distance doesn't work", and had left my heart shattered on the ground. It had happened almost a week agao, and I was finally telling Louis. It was just that I was not ready to talk to anyone about it, but Louis had been stubborn and coerced it out of me.
He brought me back into his lean frame, and I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing tightly. When he spoke, the words were muffled by my chest since I was several inches taller than him. "I just don't want you to be hurt again. I hate seeing you like this. If I do find a girl who is worth you, though I doubt there is one, I will point her out and get you together, alright?"
I smiled, liking that idea very much, yet the idea of dating at the moment sounded bitter to my aching heart. "You swear to tell me?"
Louis rubbed my shoulder in calming circles. "Of course, mate. I tell you everything and always will. You have to swear not to keep anything from me, though, alright?"
"I won't ever again." I swore into his warm neck, enjoying the comfort I got from my best friend. "And you'll always tell me everything? Don't ever keep secrets from me."
"Always." he promised strongly. "I'll never keep a secret from you, Hazza."
The sound of Delia's voice, sweet as honey, jerked me out of the memory. "Dare." There were sounds of "Oooh"s all around the room, as they were surprised that she did not choose truth. I was guessing that while I was lost in the past the hosts had begun the game Sandra had mentioned early. They were starting with Delia, of course, because she seemed to be the center of attention for this interview, which was fine by me, for that was usually my place and I disliked leaving the others out.
"Hmm." said Sandra, eyeing Delia smugly. "That is a surprise, most people chose truth to start out. Anyhow, we had the fans of the show send in a few good truth and dares for you and I will just choose randomly. Delia, you have been dared to speak in one of your band member's accents for the rest of the show and they have to do yours."
Delia smiled, biting back a giggle, and cocked a perfect eyebrow, "I get to choose?"
Sandra nodded as Delia looked around at each one of us, considering thoughtfully which one she wanted to do. You know, do the accent, I mean. I could see her blue eyes swipe over Louis easily, as I knew she would not be doing anything to provoke Louis right now. Just like us, she had no idea what his problem was, but she did understand not to bother him until the lads and I could figure it out. "Niall." Delia stated, and smirked.
Niall did not hesitate to say, "Oh my god!" He batted his eyes girlishly. "I can't believe y'all picked me." He giggled, and it sounded so similar to Delia's southern drawl that I burst out laughing, as did everyone else.
Delia only rolled her eyes, "Oi, dis accent is so annoying dat I probably won't make it through dis show." This caused us all to laugh even harder, because truly her impersonation of Niall sucked.
. If she kept that Irish accent up the entire next fifteen minutes I may end up clamping a hand over her mouth to keep it shut.
Sandra was clearly amused by the pair, and the female host giggled. Her eyes then trailed to me, and I gulped under her intense gaze. “Harry, would you like to go next?”
I nodded with no words, my mind still distracted by the events of this very interesting day.
“Truth or dare?”
Giving myself time to consider, I slung my head down to mess up my hair and ran my hands through my hair a few times before fixing it against my forehead and pressing remaining curls behind my ear. “Truth.” I said, not really feeling up to doing something ridiculous.
“Ain’t you a coward.” Niall mumbled into the mic on his collar with a smile that I ignored.
Daniel read off the questions from a sheet of paper on the desk, “What is your biggest fear?”
Fear… I was afraid of a lot, but what scared me the most? And was it something I wanted to share? I knew what was very recent to now that terrified me, and that was losing someone I loved, though I may be exaggerating everything. Was that what twisted my heart up in knots sometimes, and wish I could run and hide behind anyone who could help me?
“Failing, I guess.” I shrugged and bit down on my bottom lip.
“Failing what, Harry?” Sandra pushed, leaning forward. All eyes were on me, and although that was how I usually liked it, this was too much of an intrusive spotlight for me.
“Failing the people I care about.”
There was a long silence in the room, heavy enough for a pin to drop, though there had to be at least fifty people in here. In that time of absolute quiet I was able to regret saying anything at all, and just should have said I was scared of the dark or something. That would have been a lot less personal. Leave it to you, Harry, to make things awkward.
Daniel cleared his throat once more and said, “Alright then, next question.” He read down the list, trying to “randomly” find one that would fit the person he was about to ask. “Ah, let’s just get on to the ones for the whole group. Truth or dare, everyone?”
Zayn nudged Liam and they met eyes, until the latter spoke, “Definitely dare.”
Sandra read over her co-hosts shoulder, “We dare you to sing a whole song here on the spot.”
“What song?” Delia questioned, looking so innocent with her rosy cheeks and wide eyes framed by a waterfall of brown hair I noticed she had straightened.
Daniel and Sandra conversed shortly before saying together, “More Than This.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Delia’s P.O.V*
My thoughts three seconds before the hosts spoke had been, “Wow, this interview is going fine. We are going to make it.” Then they had said those three words that made all hope vanish in a second. We never even practiced More Than This as a group. Yes, I had rehearsed it with Savan and Helene by myself, but only the part that I would have sung with Harry, so I was in the dark about everything else.
Suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder and I looked over to be met with Liam’s leg, and had to look up higher, realizing that he now stood on the chair, as did the other four. “You a part of the band or not, Delia?” He asked playfully. I loved Liam’s sense of humor. He could keep a straight face at anything he said, even when his witty comments went over most people’s heads. He offered my his hand and I took it, rising to my feet on the clean, white cushions of the chair. No one told us to get down so I reckoned it was fine that we performed on them.
Without a warning or a chance to take a breath Liam began, singing his solo at the beginning. I swayed a bit to it, feeling nerves bubbling in my stomach as the chorus neared closer and closer. I knew from watching videos on YouTube that when singing acapella all five boys sang, but were quieter so Harry’s voice stood out. Should I be louder or not? Should I even sing? I thought I was about to fall off the chair my head was spinning so fast.
Tearing my eyes away from the floor several feet below, I looked up at Harry to see that he was staring at me. Not meeting his eyes, but instead watching his full, pink lips, I saw him mouth, “Sing with me.”
“Cause I can’t look you in the eyes and say…” Liam finished.
I took a deep breath and let the familiar words slip through my mouth, loving the way it felt to create a sound like this. Harry sang with me, and I tried to focus on his raspy voice instead of my own as he sang with such passion and confidence. His voice was so beautiful and perfect. I wished that I was not singing to cover it up, but we did sound good together even if I just wanted to hear him.
“… I can love you more than this.” We ended with a smile and my heart felt like it had grown wings and learned how to fly and was now soaring above the stage. I tried to pay attention to Niall and Louis as they sang, also, but I was buzzing. It felt like all the other times I had sang with them, really. The first time any of our voices had matched was at the concert and I had had this reaction there, too, along with every minute we spent practicing at the studio. I loved singing, but when I let my voice harmonize with them, any of them, it felt… indescribable. I felt stronger, invincible even, when we sang together. It was like we were creating something magical inside of me, that fired up inside of me every time we sang. I would never get tired of this feeling that was more perfect than words could explain.
After Harry and I had sung once more and we ended the song it by singing the last group of words as a group, we settled back down into our chairs, huge smiles on our faces. My grin widened impossibly large as the crowd burst out into applause, and rose to its feet as one. They cheered and whistled and clapped for us, yelling out each of our names individually. I could not my peel my eyes off the crowd in front of me, even when they settled down and returned to their seats. The applause still rang in my head, and my name repeated like a chant. That was for me, at least one sixth of it was. That cheering had been for me and that was unbelievable. This must be the best job in the world.
“That was great.” Sandra said, although her tone was still a little snobby even as she complimented us. “No wonder One Direction is famous worldwide. Beautiful duet, Delia and Harry.”
I blushed at the mention of it and glanced at Harry from the corner of my eye. He was smirking at the host. “Thanks, love.”
“Ya.” I said, still in the Irish accent. “Thank you.”
Daniel chuckled, fixing the glasses upon his nose and said, “Well, lads and lady, we only have time for one more so I will make it another group question. Truth or Dare, One Direction?”
Zayn, who had been very quiet this entire interview, was the one to reply with, “Truth, man.”
We all nodded in agreement, and waited in expectation of the question, all very secure in the fact that we had succeeded. Maybe not with the class we could have hoped for, since with Louis’ mistake we were on edge and being tested the entire time.
Daniel slowly looked up, an evil smile appearing on his thin lips. “Is there anyone in the band that you are having a problem with, dislike, or hate?”
It was safe to say that One Direction had the worst luck in the world. No matter how hard we tried we simply could not win. I found myself digging my nails into my palm as my mind replayed every dirty look, every angry word, and every argument we had with each other, beginning with the moment that I heard them rage with dislike for me from outside the conference room door before they even met me. I began to chew my bottom lip as Louis’ words of “I can’t talk anymore!” and the way the men would snap at each other every once in a while, or lean away from one another’s touch, and avoid eye contact. One Direction had more problems than we had fans.
Sandra was gleaming with her victory at finally being able to reveal the dirt on us. “Just remember that if we find out later on that you were lying that each of you must do one thing for us, whatever it is we say.”
The longer we hesitated the more tension rose in the air between us. I had no idea how to respond or even think of a way out of this until Liam’s foot slid across the floor and barely nudged my own, sending me the tiniest of signals.
“No.” We lied as one, like a real band does.
I wanted to feel hopeful that we could pull off the lie and pretend we liked each other this well every time we were in front of a camera, but that would be an impossible task. Whether we acted or not, something was wrong with us, and once again, I knew it would need to be fixed if I had any hope of fulfilling the contract I signed so as to help my family and also help these men’s careers. If the press found out we lied about liking each other, not only would the band’s image be destroyed but we would also be caught lying to the world. If the band was ruined and I had been a part of its destruction, management would never let me write and I had no clue what it would mean for my mother and father.
There was no way out of the web of secrets I had tangled myself up in, now.
And every lie is discovered in the end, the only question is when.
A/N: Please don’t hate me, because it is horrible. I did my best since I was having intense writers block and it felt all wrong, but I just went with it. Please forgive me if it was confusing or sucked, I’ll do better next chapter. If you have any questions, comments, or even want to critique the book it would be very much appreciated. The next chapter should be up within the week!
Stay wonderful,
-Lisle