"It's all my fault."
Willa was laid on her front in bed, tears rolling down her cheeks. It had been about two hours since Manuela's body had been discovered and though she was no longer in hysterics due to the sedative given to her by paramedics, her solemnity offered no relief to Jake either as he sat by her legs, rubbing her back.
"No, it isn't." he tried to hold back the tremble in his voice.
Willa sniffled, "If I'd have just stayed with her a few moments longer..."
"You could've gotten yourself killed." Jake replied.
Willa gasped a small, shaking sob, "But maybe I could have protected her."
Jake's eyes stung a little, though he attempted to steel himself, if only for her sake.
Then she added, "You know she wanted us to be exclusive?" her breath hitched on a sob, "Last night, she told me—" another wet sniffle, "God, she told me she loved me."
Jake's heart fell and he wasn't able to stave off the welling in his eyes this time.
"I didn't say it back." she cried, "Why didn't I say it back? I've been so busy wasting my time with Petrović that I didn't see what really mattered. I love her." a beat, then she corrected, "I loved her."
Jake brushed her hair from her face, "I'm so sorry, Will."
"Why didn't I just stay with her?" she wept.
Jake leaned down, bringing her into his embrace and letting her cry for a few minutes, unable to stop his own tears from falling.
He wiped at them with his sleeve, attempting to excise the horrible image of Manuela's rolled up eyes from his mind. Even Mali hadn't been so... lifeless, an empty shell, barely even human.
He wondered if her family would be told, realising suddenly just how little he had known her. Had she had siblings? Parents?
It felt like he was crying over a complete stranger — but to Willa, she wasn't a stranger. She had been her lover, her girlfriend and Jake had liked her enough that her violent demise made his chest hurt.
It was all so very tragic.
Eventually, the sedative seemed to get the best of Willa and she drifted off into a fitful sleep as he rested her head on the pillow. Gently, he stroked back a few strands of hair from her face, then wiped his own.
He headed for the door, opening it to see Raleigh waiting outside, looking positively shattered as he asked, "How is she?"
"Devastated." he replied simply, "Manny wanted them to go exclusive."
"Jesus Christ." Raleigh gasped, bowling over as if he was going to be sick, "I just— I can't believe it."
Jake asked, "Does she have anyone—"
"In Barcelona." Raleigh answered, "Her mother, father, abuela. She had a little sister, only nine. Someone's going to have to tell them."
Tears stung his eyes, his face crumpling a little, though before he could fall Jake rushed forward, throwing his arms around him.
It was a comforting embrace and Raleigh burrowed his face in Jake's shoulder, gasping out soft sobs as he stated, "She was my friend."
"I know." Jake replied, rubbing his back.
The other man admitted, "I can't keep doing this, losing people. I can't."
"I know, I know." Jake really didn't know what to say, how to fix it, so instead just clung to the other man until his breath evened out, his cries dispersing.
Raleigh mumbled into his shoulder, "I'm sorry. I bet I look so ridiculous right now."
"Not at all." Jake eased away from his vice-like grip and took his hand, squeezing it, "We'll figure this out. I promise."
It was an empty promise, one Jake knew he couldn't fulfil, but it still seemed to reassure Raleigh, who smiled and exhaled shakily into the minute space between their faces.
Jake held his hand up against his chest, his breath shuddering at the closeness of it all. Under his palm, Raleigh could feel the steady thrumming of Jake's heart, the way it skipped a little as their eyes locked.
Before he could allow himself to be sucked in, Jake swallowed thickly, stating, "I should watch over her."
Raleigh nodded, sadness returning to expression, "Keep me posted?"
"Of course." Jake said, then turned to head back into the room.
As he headed inside, his hand started to slip free of Raleigh's, their palms, then the tips of their fingers touching, an electric charge passing between them. Even in all the tragedy, all the pain and loss, it was them, their skin, their closeness before they finally broke away.
***
Meanwhile, the twins were sitting in Brody's dorm room, Eilidh's knees drawn up to her chest as a sorrowful look hung on her face. She was on Raleigh's bed, her brother across from her, his laptop on his legs.
"I just can't believe it." she commented, then noticed her brother's attention was drawn to his screen, "What are you even doing?"
Brody replied simply, "Sending out Evites."
"Wha—" she shifted over, noticing that was, indeed, what he was doing, "I can't believe you're thinking about the dance at a time like this."
Brody defended, "Look, whoever did this is someone who attends this school and once we figure it out—"
"What, you'll find them and stop them?" his sister scoffed, "Who are you, Columbo? This isn't a game, man."
Anger filled his tone as he slammed the laptop shut, shoving it to the side, "Don't you think I know that? I know you think I'm being a complete idiot, but Manny was my friend."
"I liked her too." she retorted, "Other than Raleigh, she's one of the only one of your friends who wasn't a complete asshole to me."
Brody suggested, "You ever think that's because you're hardly the most social? People aren't going to be nice to you if you aren't nice first."
"That has to be earned." Eilidh stated, crossing her arms, "And trust me, the people at this damned place haven't earned that yet."
He then proposed, "Maybe you should try to move past it all."
Instantly, he regretted his words from the agony that filled his sister's eyes, her voice trembling as she pushed herself up from the bed, "'Move past it all'?" tears welled in her eyes, "Well, that's fucking easy for you to say, isn't it?"
"Eil, you know I didn't mean—"
She cut him off, "Fuck you." she swiped at her face, smudging her eyeliner across it, "You know, if you're looking for someone shady whose name begins with an 'M', maybe check out your former best mate. Try not to get yourself killed in the process, because I'm done trying to protect you."
With that said, she stormed off, hearing her twin call her name in her wake. She wandered down the hallway, littered with students grieving Manuela, all of whom began to turn their eyes on her as they did so, with Angelique in particular shooting her a venomous stare.
"She did it," she mumbled to Maxwell, "I know she did."
Eilidh pushed forward, running until she reached the chapel, her place of solace and solitude as she went to light a cigarette — unfortunately for her, she soon realised she wasn't alone as Amrit stepped from the shadows.
"Quite the show today, wasn't it?" there was a mournful lilt to his voice, though it was drowning in a sea of contempt.
She exhaled in frustration and annoyance, "I don't have time for this."
"Oh, really?" he stepped forward, "What about this?"
With dramatic flair, he produced the call sheet and Eilidh inhaled sharply in realisation.
"You know, most people would try to change up their handwriting when sending a threatening message." he stepped into her space, making her step back a little, "Though it really is quite worrying your own twin doesn't recognise it."
She swallowed thickly, "There's plenty he doesn't know about me."
"So you admit it." he smirked, "Those photographs of you, they were taken with a KODAK PIXPRO, weren't they? The camera he gave you for your birthday."
Eilidh ducked her head a little, "So, what? Are you going to tell him?"
"I'm just trying to figure out why." he countered, "What do you gain from threatening your own brother?"
Eilidh explained, "I'm not threatening him, I'm trying to protect him. He keeps playing the hero and it's going to get him killed."
"How can you be certain?" Amrit asked, "Unless you're the killer, of course."
At that, she laughed bitterly, "You'd love that, wouldn't you? For me to be the one to blame for what happened to Mali." she leaned back against the wall, "Well, I'm sorry but I can't help you there. I'm a lot of things but I'm not a murderer."
"What if I don't believe you?" he asked.
Eilidh replied, "Believe what you want, but I've got proof. On the night of Laura's murder, I was in my room. You know why."
"You're the one who sent the email out." he concluded, "Which means you witnessed her murder."
She turned away from him, "So what if I did?"
"'So what'?" his voice became shrill, "What the hell do you mean, 'so what'? You saw Laura's murder and you didn't report it?"
She pressed her lips into a thin line, "I had my reasons."
"What possible reason could that be?" anger filled his tone, "And leaking it to the school, you realise you likely set off this new series of killings, put a target on our backs? You got Mali killed."
She turned back to him, "So report me. Tell my brother what kind of a monster I am, let him hate me forever."
"No." he shook his head, "I'm not going to tell him. Because I can see it's killing you, the guilt. You'll tell him yourself."
Amrit then turned on his heel, heading down the stone steps and leaving Eilidh alone. Her breath trembled and she headed over to her bag, grabbing her camera from it — she scanned through the images, all of which had been taken from her bedroom window in the three days she had been confined there and stopped on the one that made her heart skip.
It was from the night of Laura's death, taken from her dorm room window — in the dark storminess, it was hard to really make out what was going on, but just visible was Laura, struggling, choking. Behind her, just cutting through the darkness was the empty white face, the visage of the person who killed her.
***
Back in Jake's dorm, he watched over Willa as she slept. He hadn't ate since lunch earlier that day and felt himself being hungry, but every time he wanted to get up and eat, he was hit with that image again.
Those empty, vacant eyes, the slack jaw. The bloodied tear from where her head was lopped off.
It made him feel sick.
He had attempted to phone his dad once again, needing to at least hear some kind of outside voice, but once again, received an answering machine.
It spurred on the simmering rage within him, how dare he once again sneak away with his secretary when his family needed him?
Something else that it spurred was the isolation — aside from the trip to the city which felt so long ago now, he had been trapped in this place every day since arrival. It was suffocating, like being imprisoned.
He started to wonder if his father chose this particular school to get away from him. Part of him didn't blame him — ever since the incident, he had felt like a burden to everyone around him, even now, when Raleigh clearly wanted to pursue a relationship with him, he had pulled away, too scared to be hurt again.
He thought of Raleigh's lips on his, his tongue breaching his mouth as he deepened the kiss, the hot, heady feeling of being backed into the sink.
If he had been stronger, maybe he would've committed to it, let Raleigh fuck him then and there like they both clearly wanted, as they had the other morning whilst training.
He thought of their hips connecting, the way they had almost started moving against each other, grinding into the floor. He had been so aroused, just from the sweat on their bodies, their skin barely touching, part of him had wanted to give in and lose himself in rapture. Just the thought was enough to twist his stomach into knots, a hot flush coming over his face.
It was all so fucked up; two people were dead and here he was, thinking about RaleighRaleighRaleigh.
It was embarrassing, unbecoming and yet, hurt in a way that was almost good. He ran a hand across his chest, biting his own lip as he thought about Raleigh's mouth on his neck, the way he had touched him as he'd backed him against the sink and how he'd wanted him to go further.
Jake's hand ran over his stomach, and he felt a burn of arousal growing between his legs, so much that it almost hurt. He considered getting out of the bed to go to the bathroom and deal with it, not wanting to disrupt Willa.
Before he could, there was a sharp rapping at the door which pulled him out of his thoughts, though it wasn't enough to wake his slumbering roommate.
Jake turned his bedside lamp on, heading to the door only for his heart to sink as he saw Petrović standing on the other side, clearly very concerned.
"Is she okay?" he asked, "Can I see her?"
Seven words, just seven and a sudden rage filled his heart.
Jake shook his head firmly, "Absolutely not."
Petrović seemed taken aback, "I only wish to check on her."
"Her girlfriend was murdered today." Jake growled, "Last thing she needs is you."
Petrović stammered, "I— I don't understand, Jake. I—"
"I know about you two." Jake stated, "And if you care about her, truly, you'll leave her alone."
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, Petrović's face going from surprise to one of slight indictment, "You are too smart for your own good, you know, Jake?" he leaned in a little, "It's gonna get you in trouble."
With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Jake a little stunned as he shut the door behind him and retreated into the safety of his room.