Chapter 25: His Loss. (FINALE CHAPTER of TNIEWTHGP series)
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Ikaw nalang eh, ikaw nalang ang taong alam kong hindi ako iiwan. That one person I know that will never leave my side and will never betray me.Kaso tangina naman, nauna ka na eh.Hahahaha! Bwisit ka, bakit ka ganyan? Bakit mo ko iniwan?Damn, how am I supposed to live without you?
A/N: WALA NANG BOOK 3 ETO NA TO. :3
SAGEL'S POV
"Faye?" may pumasok bigla sa main door ng bahay, si... si Faye.
"S-Sagel?" Tawag nya sakin, yung mukha nya yung gulat na gulat.
"Faye!" pinuntahan ko sya at niyakap. Finally, she's here.
"W-what are y-you talking about? I'm not Faye. I'm Ayame."
"No, you are Faye. Alam kong ikaw yan, Cherry told me everything."
"So the truth has been told, huh? Yes, I am Faye... a year ago."
"Faye sabi sakin nila Cherry at Kuya—"
"Wait, what? I-ikaw yung dapat kong kausapin?" sabi nya.
"Bakit? Hindi... hindi gagawin 'to ni Eli. Tsaka bakit nandito mga gamit ko? Anong ibig sabihin neto?! NO! I WILL NOT MOVE IN HERE! I'M STAYING WITH ELI!" sigaw nya
"Faye please calm down, can we talk? I have a lot of questions in my mind that needs answers... please. Faye..."
"No... I am not Faye, my sister is. She's your wife. My name was Faye, I am now Ayame"
"No, you are my wife. You're mine. Mine only."
"No, I was yours. You used to be mine. But it's all in the past. I'm not Faye. I'm Ayame. And that name has given me a new life to live, Sagel. Minahal mo naman yung kapatid ko, bakit di nalang kayo? Masaya na ako, please respect my decision. Excuse me." Lalabas sana sya ng pinto pero pinigilan ko sya at pinaharap ko sya sakin.
"Why can't you give us another chance Faye? Mahal mo na ba si Kuya?"
"Don't you think masyado na tayong nasasaktan para ipagpatuloy natin 'to? Sagel kung gusto mo pa pwes ayoko na, ayoko na ng relasyon na 'to. Marami na nangyari para sabihin satin na di nag w-workout 'tong relasyon na 'to."
"No Faye, those were just challenges for us."
"No Sagel. Those were signs na di talaga tayo para sa isa't isa. Paalisin mo na ako okay? May naghihintay sakin sa labas."
"so ganun nalang 'yun? Parang wala nalang sa'yo lahat ha, Faye? Ganun ganun nalang? Wala na? sa isang pagpapanggap lang wala na lahat? Lahat ng taon ng pagmamahalan natin? Yung mga hirap na pinagdaanan natin nawala na? wala na?"
"Oo, ganun na nga. Sa isang iglap lang ganun na kabilis mawala ang lahat. Di na kita mahal at hinding hindi na kita kaya mahalin." Sabi nya ng naka poker face... she's changed.
"Bakit ang dali lang sa'yo ng lahat? Bakit ang dali lang itapon ng lahat sa'yo? Nasaan na yung pinangako natin sa isa't isa na forever tayo, Faye? Tangina, nasaan na? akala ko walang sukuan? Anong nangyari?"
"We were just foolish teenagers when we made those promises, Sagel. And di ka pa napagod? And Sagel lahat ng tao nagbabago, di sa lahat ng oras pareparehas. Tsaka higit sa lahat, walang happy ending, naiintindihan mo ba ako?"
"Tangina Faye. Tangina. Sana pinatay mo nalang ako. Ang sakit Faye. Tangina." Naiiyak ako. Totoo ba 'tong nangyayari?And she just stood there, without moving an inch.
"Nasaktan ako sa sinabi mo Faye." Sabi ko sakanya.
"Saan banda dun?"
"Kailangan mo ba talaga tanungin yan? Manhid ka na ba talaga?"
"Sagel tama na. di ka pa ba napapagod?" dag dag nya
"No, I will win you back." Sabi ko sakanya,
"Sagel pwede ba? Wag ka ngang umasta na parang ikaw lang nasaktan! Na parang ikaw lang yung naagrabyado, maraming nangyari okay? Hindi mo maiintindihan dahil wala ka! Nakakapansin ka na ng pagbabago kay Cherry diba? Did you even bother to ask? Hindi! I have been wanting to tell you everything from the start! The moment I saw you here in Japan, the moment you asked my name. Sagel, I loved you, I always did. And now I am sorry if I am giving up on us." tumalikod sya sakin.
"Yes, I didn't bother to ask, because you never gave me hints, I believed that you were Cherry from the start, but... even though you never showed me hints, I have this feeling, the moment I laid my eyes on you, that you are Faye, I was just too blind acknowledge it. But even so you should've told me from the start!" she turned around at kinwelyuhan ako, nakayuko sya, and when she lifted her head... she was crying.
"KUNG SASABIHIN KO BA MANINIWALA KA?! KUNG SASABIHIN KO BA MAKIKINIG KA?! NO! I KNOW YOU WELL ENOUGH SAGEL! SI CHERRY ANG PANINIWALAAN MO KASI NGA SYA YUNG KASAMA MO, YOU WON'T BELIEVE A FUCKING STRANGER! Sagel... I've been through a lot... I almost got killed, not just once but two fucking times! I can't live a life like that. I tried to fight for you, for us, but what do I get? Nothing... I can't be with you anymore... I'm sorry."
"You can be with me! Faye! We can be together, everything will be like they used to be!" sabi ko sakanya, she stared at me with those empty eyes, her eyes that used to be so full of life, of love, and her face full of mischief. But what I am seeing now... clearly is not the Faye I fell in love with.
She has become another person.A person that I didn't know, a person I didn't even meet.
She has those empty, sad eyes. Her face blank, no matter how much she tries to smile in our past encounters, it's still the same, no emotions.
"Don't be stupid, we can't turn back to the way we used to be. You're still the same, selfish as ever. You think that everything will be fine huh? Think again, damned brat. I don't want this. I don't want it." She tried to force a smile but failed once again.
"I'm not being selfish, I just wanted to be with you again." Sabi ko sakanya.
"Don't... okay? Just stop! Ayoko na! please?! Can't you just let me go?! Ayoko na Sagel! Please... please..." she sobbed, she fell into her knees while her hand was in her chest, umupo ako sa tapat nya. I cupped her face. I pulled her into a hug. We're both crying.We stayed like that for a few minutes,
"I-I think I should go, he's waiting for me outside." She calmed down.
"Can I kiss you? Please," I asked, no, I begged her
"What?" she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"Please, just one last time." I whispered softly.She didn't gave me an answer, she just stayed there, motionless. She just stared at me confusingly.
"I'll take that as a yes." I kissed her. a gentle one, enough to make her feel that she's still loved.She didn't respond. All I can feel are the tears falling down from her eyes.I pulled away from her and let our foreheads touch, I relished her scent, her still beautiful eyes. The beating of her heart.
Before I let her go.
"I will always love you, remember that." Sabi ko sakanya. "You can come back to me." I added then kissed her nose and wiped the tears.
"Thank you... and I am sorry." Sabi nya, tinanggal nya yung kamay ko sa kamay nya then she stood up, she wiped her tears then she looked at me.Then gave me her last smile.Humarap sya sa pintoNapayuko nalang ako at binuksan ko yung pinto.Lumabas na sya at sinundan ko sya para ihatid sana kahit sa gate nalang ng bahay.
"Goodbye, Sagel."
FAYE'S POV
"Goodbye, Sagel." Sabi ko sakanya tapos umalis na ako. Pinagbuksan nya ako nung pinto at nakita ko nandun pa yung sasakyan. Huminga ako ng malalim, bago pa lumabas yung yung mga luha na kanina ko pa pinipigilan, I bit my lip to control the sobs.
"Ano na nga palang balak nyo sa kasal nyo ni Cherry, Sagel?" tanong ko sakanya. Lumingon ako para makita ko sya ng harap harapan.
"Parang wala lang talagang nangyari Faye no? parang wala lang, parang ganun lang kadali. You're talking to me right now as if nothing happened. Wow. Just wow."
Yumuko nalang ako at nanahimik.
"Nullify it." Sabi nya sakin ng diretso. Nullify it, huh? Then matatapos na pala lahat ng 'to. So this might me the end of the story, huh?
"Oh," yun nalang ang nasabi ko.I bid him goodbye then naglakad na ako papunta ng sasakyan ng nakayuko, thoughts started to run through my head.
Ano nang mangyayari after neto? Ang awkward na siguro pag nagkita kami in the future.But I am still hoping, that we can be good friends.Sagel and I.
*booooom!*
Huh? Wait what was that? Tumingin ako sa paligid ko para makita kung saan galing yung pagsabog.There was an explosion... before my eyes. My eyes widened in shock with what I am seeing right now...
"FAYE!" narinig ko yung boses ni Sagel na tinawag ako, why is he calling me? Why can't I move?The car is on fire. Teka? Wait... yung kotse na sinakyan namin kanina
No, Eli!
"Eli..." I whispered, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
"ELI!"FUCK! Why did I leave him alone? Bakit ako pumayag na pumunta ditto? Bakit nga ba? "ELI! ELI!" tawag ako ng tawag sakanya, but no. the car is on fire.
"FAYE!" I hear a faint voice calling my name.Di ako makagalaw.
"E-Eli..." I felt a pair of arms dragging me away. I reached out my arms, hoping I can still reach him.
Hoping I can still touch him.
"NO! LET ME GO! HE'S STILL THERE! ELI IS THERE! LET ME GO!"
"FAYE IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!"
"YOUR BROTHER IS INSIDE THAT FUCKING CAR!!" sabat ko sakanya!
"ELI!" I continued calling to him. I tried to look around, hoping he's not inside the car. Please, show yourself, please show me that you're not inside that damned car.
"S-sagel..." was the only word I can say, I cling unto him as I felt my knees weaken. No...
"Kuya... nandun si Kuya..." tears started to flow from his eyes,I came to my senses.
"NO! LET ME GO SAGEL!"
"WILL YOU FUCKING CALM DOWN?! IF YOU GO THERE, I'LL FUCKING LOSE YOU TOO! I'LL CALL A FUCKING FIRE TRUCK DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!" He shouted. My eyes widened in shockI continued sobbing.
"Eli... Eli..."
Then suddenly, I lost consciousness.
--
I woke up, nasa loob ako ng isang kwarto.But this is not my room.
"Hnggh... where the fuck...?" my head hurts, damn it.
"So you're awake," this voice, it's...Kuya Ian's.
"Kuya?"
"Yes... how do you feel?"
"Dammit, where am I?" tanong ko sa kapatid ko.
Oh, I fucking forgot.But it doesn't matter anymore.
"Sa ospital, nawalan ka ng malay." Sagot nya sakin.
"You want me to call Sagel?"
Sagel?
"He's here?" tanong ko, inalalayan nya ako, nilagyan nya ng unan yung likod ko para makaupo ako.
"Yes... he's here." Sagot nya ng nakayuko.
"Now, that I look into you. You've become so professional, Kuya." I smiled.
"Che, manahimik ka nga. Don't talk too much you shithead." I smiled sa sinabi nya.
"Si... Eli? Is he here? I want to see him." Napayuko sya.
Eli? Eli!Naalala ko na!
"Kuya?! Si Eli? WHERE IS HE?"
"Faye..."
"NASAAN SYA? Kuya SAGUTIN MO KO!"sabi ko sakanya.
"I'll take it from here, Kuya Ian." Pumasok bigla si Sagel. Namamaga yung mata nya.
"No, Sagel. I'll talk to her. She's my sister." Sagot ni kuya pabalik, he just remained quiet.
"Gaki." Narinig kong bulong ni Kuya
."Kuya si Eli?"
"Faye..."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! WHERE IS ELI? KUYA!"Yumuko sya, si Sagel naman nakayuko din, bakit ganito?Bakit ganito yung aura nila? Bakit?
"Hey... guys answer me! He's still alive right? He's there outside, pinagttripan nyo lang ako haha. Di kayo nakakatuwa. Papasukin nyo na sya." Iyak ngiti, I want to think he's there. He's there outside. I know it.
"Faye... he's dead." Sagot sakin ni Kuya..
"No..." I whispered to myself, it can't be.Tumalikod si Sagel
Dead?
"Dead... No... you're joking. He will not die on me! He won't! He will never leave me,"
"Faye... Please calm down you need to take a rest." Sabi sakin ni kuya.
"Are you stupid?! Calm down?! How can I fucking calm down when you just told me that my boyfriend is dead? Tell me kuya! How can I?!"
"I know it's hard, but he died last night. In an explosion, sumabog yung kotse nya na sinasakyan kagabi, There's nothing we can do, his body burned along with the car... we couldn't... retrieve anything... w-we, w-we t-tried." Sagel sobbed nung sinasabi nya sakin yung nangyari.
"Hi-his body... burned along with the car." Was all the words I can say. He didn't deserve a death like that.
He's too kind for a death like that.Nilapitan ako ni Sagel para pakalmahin ako, niyakap nya ako, and I let out a sob na kanina ko pa pinipigilan, I screamed in pain and he also cried, we cried in each other's arms, murmuring at each other comforting words, I continued wailing, and then he said those words to me:
"We'll find those fucking bastards who killed our loved one, and we'll make them suffer, the way my brother and your boyfriend died." My eyes widened in shock, he's actually saying those.
"Yeah... we'll make them pay for what they've done." I said, he wiped my tears then he kissed my forehead.
"Rest."
---
I spent the following days at our apartment. I don't really want to go back here. It's full of so many memories of the year we spent together.
Every single day without him is so painful. I decided to spend the future with him. I pictured the both of us happy in each other's arms. But what is only left of us now, is our memories. And it breaks my heart into million pieces.
I don't know how to continue living on with my life.
How am I supposed to? Can someone tell me how? Can I still continue living like I did before without him? Is it this painful?
Every night since I lost him I always cry myself to sleep. I am still hoping that when I am having those nightmares about my sister, he'll be there, like he always did. To secure me in his arms, to sing for me, to stay with me until the first light of dawn comes. But, when I woke up in the middle of night, there's no one. I will try to reach out, only to find an empty space in my bed. He's not there. And I will cry again. And it's hard. It's fucking hard to have no one. Tonight will be no different. I will cry myself to sleep, wake up alone in this room. Tomorrow will be his burial. And I have to face the cruel world again. I have been staying in this place for like 4 days, not going out. And today, I woke up with a knock on my door.Tinignan ko yung orasan, it's 2 am, sino namang matinong tao ang bibisita sakin ng ganitong oras? Fuck.
"Go away... please. I want to be alone." I said, binalot ko yung sarili ko sa comforter at mga unan, para kahit papano makaramdam din ako ng comfort.
"Faye? No, Ayame. Please open the door." It's Sagel's voice
"Sagel... please, leave me alone." I said a little louder, Narinig kong binuksan nya yung pinto ng kwarto. Pumasok sya, but I didn't move an inch.
I love him, the same way I have loved Sagel. My thoughts still drifting to Eli. I don't care if Sagel's here with me. As of now he's not the one I needed. He shook me.
"Faye! Hey!"
"Go back to your wife. She needs you, I don't need anyone. Leave me."
"No I won't." he said.
"I don't need anyone but him. Do you hear me? Now, leave."
"Yes you need us, especially now that Eli is... Eli is..." his voice broke, he's also on the verge of crying.
"Go away Sagel."
"No. Faye, I won't leave you alone. Not now."
"He's not here anymore... he's gone... he left me. Sagel, he left me." yun lang nasagot ko, ang sakit na ng mata ko kakaiyak, pero mas masakit sa dibdib. Ang sakit sakit.We both sobbed, I almost forgot. Hindi lang pala ako ang nawalan. Pati rin pala sila Sagel. And here I am, kinukulong sarili ko habang yakap yung unan na ginagamit ni Eli noon nung kasama ko pa sya.
"Faye we need to be strong, you need to be strong." He said. Strong? Ngayon? I don't know.
"Tell me how, because I can't. Everything happened so soon, so suddenly. I don't know if I can be strong like I should be, if Eli sees me right now he will laugh at me for being weak, but I can't help it... I don't know how to continue living on with my life."
He sat down on the bed beside me. I scooted closer to him, blanket still wrapped around my body. I gave him a sad smile then felt the tears stinging my eyes.
"I don't think I will be fine, I don't think I will be able to live my life normally. I'll... I'll leave after ng libing nya, and start anew." Dagdag ko. Itutuloy ko yung plano ko, though I wanted to go with him.He smiled at me, also a sad one.
"Live a good life, Ayame."He stayed with me that night, that one night. That I felt secure after almost a week.
He wrapped me in his arms. And I had a dream.
Eli. On that beautiful place.
Azure skies, plain green fields. He's sleeping under that lone tree. His skin glowing with the rays of sunlight. He looked so peaceful.
He's wearing his usual attire. A button down long sleeved shirt and jeans. The only difference is the color. It's all white. And it suited him perfectly.
I walked closer to him.
Closer..
I touched his raven-black hair. And he woke up from just a simple gesture.
Opening his hazel brown eyes, he smiled at me. A tear fell. He gave me an apologetic look and walked away from me. I was confused for a moment then I ran after him.
He stopped when I grabbed his arm.
He turned around to face me.
"Please... Don't leave me again." I said.
He stood there.
"I have to,"
Tears stung my eyes. Warm liquids started to fall.
'Eli, why did you have to leave me? Why? Why did you?' I asked him.
'I'll tell you all about it when I see you again, Faye... I love you.'
and with that, he disappeared.
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The Nerd's Revenge //:END://
OY GUYS JOKE LANG MAY BOOK 3 PA. LABYU GUYS. BUKAS NA TEASER NG BOOK 3, HAHAHA ANTOK NA AKO ZZZZ.