Herobrine had calmed by the time they reached a stopping point.
They had made it out of the crimson forest after about an hour of walking, out onto a stretch of the barren wastes, and had continued on for another few hours before Herobrine called them to a stop. He had remained tense and silent for most of their walk, only occasionally speaking up to direct them. Y/N couldn't help glancing over to check on him every few moments. She didn't know what had set him off so badly, but she had never seen him so scared before.
He eventually pointed out a small cave carved into the side of a cliff, and Y/N readily agreed that they should stop and rest. She didn't like caves, but this one was small and fairly open, and she was anxious to be able to speak with Herobrine.
Herobrine herded her and Alex inside before coming in himself, casting a wary glance outside. Upon seeing nothing, he sank down to the ground beside the exit, and Alex cleared her throat quietly.
"So," She said. "That's Sirben, huh?"
"That's Sirben," Y/N muttered. She glanced at Herobrine, who was still facing the exit. "Herobrine?" He lifted his head to meet her eyes. "What happened back there?" Herobrine averted his gaze, and Y/N wasn't sure for a moment if he was going to answer.
"The flag." He finally said, his voice low and emotionless. "That m- the mark on it. It's the same crest as the one worn by the assassins who tried to kill me." Y/N's heart dropped into her stomach.
"Oh." She could still picture the scar on his chest and back, the one she'd seen while patching him up after his fight with Tekno, that came from the attack that had turned him into a paranoid tyrant. No wonder he had reacted as he did.
"Wait, what does that mean?" Alex cut in. "Sirben sent assassins to kill you?"
"I don't know." Herobrine raked a hand through his hair, looking outside again. "It- the attack occurred nearly 700 years ago, I don't know if Sirben was even alive at that time."
"But his master..." Y/N trailed off. Herobrine nodded grimly.
"If not responsible, it seems Sirben and whoever he works for are affiliated with the assassins from back then." He said quietly. Y/N mulled over this for a moment.
"Are you going to be alright to go on?" She finally asked.
Herobrine met her eyes. "I don't have any other choice."
"You could-" She started,
"No, the queen is still out here somewhere." He snapped. "I cannot return without her." He turned away again, and when he spoke his voice was calmer. "I was caught off guard, it will not happen again." A short pause. "You two should get some rest."
"Us??" Y/N protested. "I should think that if anyone needs rest-"
"Y/N," He cut her off, finally meeting her eyes. "I don't want to sleep right now." Y/N stared at him for a moment, taking in the haunted look in his eyes, before she nodded.
"Alright."
None of them spoke as they ate, then Alex curled up against the far wall and fell asleep. Y/N felt a pang of guilt as she watched her- encountering Sirben seemed to have been very taxing on their young guide.
Y/N herself, on the other hand, was far too worked up to sleep. She had tried sorting their supplies in an attempt to calm her racing thoughts, but she couldn't stop replaying the moment that the black skeleton swung at her. Sirben had claimed that they belonged to his master... what manner of creature could produce such monsters?
She glanced at Alex, then to Herobrine, who sat at the exit with his back to her. "You'll have to sleep eventually," She called out quietly.
"I know." He didn't move. "I need... time, first." Y/N pursed her lips, but didn't argue. Instead, she stood, crossing the cave and sitting down beside him.
Neither of them spoke for a little while, staring off into the distance. Y/N was trying to think of something to say, some way to comfort him, but at the same time she didn't want to stir up memories of the events earlier that day. So, she stayed silent, watching quietly as Herobrine clenched his hands into fists to still their trembling.
Finally, she murmured, "What did the highlord say to you back at the camp?" Herobrine grimaced a bit.
"He... told me I had been responsible for the death of his grandfather." He said quietly. "And that once I left, I was never to return."
"Oh." Y/N winced sympathetically. Undoubtedly that interaction weighed on him as well. "I understand his view, but... that isn't who you are anymore." Tentatively, she rested a hand on his arm, and was relieved when he didn't so much as flinch. "I wish that he was able to see that."
"It doesn't matter if that isn't who I am anymore." He muttered. "What matters is that it's done. Highlord Vex'n's family is not the only one that I've torn apart."
"So your change of heart means nothing?" Y/N hiked up a brow. "You may as well have stayed a cruel, paranoid dictator?"
"I didn't say that." Herobrine sighed. "I only mean that... I don't expect the forgiveness of those I hurt." He shifted to sit cross-legged, ignoring her hand on his arm. "Not after everything." Y/N frowned, but let it go. They'd had this conversation before.
"What have the last forty years been like for you?" She asked instead. Herobrine mused over this for a moment before responding.
"It... took me some time to adjust." He said slowly. "But, overall it has been... peaceful. Queen Rosales is an excellent monarch." Y/N nodded quietly.
"Commander Zenith knew you were here, didn't he?"
"He did." Herobrine confirmed. "I... asked him not to tell you."
"Why?"
"I was afraid that if you knew where I was, you would come looking for me." Herobrine stared at the distant cliffs. "And I did not want to interrupt your life." Y/N pursed her lips.
"Is that why you barely spoke to me when I was first assigned here?"
"That was most of it, yes."
"Then what changed?" Y/N turned to face him, trying and failing to catch his eye. "After my injury, you've been... you've acted far more like you used to." Herobrine didn't answer, looking the other way. "Every time I think I've figured you out, you do... something that throws me for a loop," She went on, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. "You carried me for two days after my injury, then yesterday you asked me to dance. I'm not ungrateful, I just wish I knew why-"
"I'm in love with you." Herobrine interrupted. Y/N stuttered to a stop, the rest of her words dying on her lips.
"You... what?"
"I'm in love with you," he repeated, and his eyes were guilty when he met hers. "I... have been for almost forty years." Y/N opened her mouth, then shut it.
"Why didn't you tell me??" She managed, her voice barely above a whisper as her cheeks heated. "I thought- I still-"
"Because I'm a mess, Y/N, look at me." He let out a bitter laugh, lifting his hands to show her how they shook. "Even my past aside, I'm- we just encountered the man we've been hunting for over a week now, and I froze." He clenched his hands into fists again. "I don't... I couldn't allow you to deal with me any more than you are already forced to." Y/N stared at him incredulously.
"You didn't fault me for struggling when I had to face Meryl," She said, "and this is no different. You said it wouldn't happen again, didn't you?" Herobrine tightened his jaw and stared down at his hands. "I don't care, Herobrine," She said, trying to still the tremble in her voice. "I love you. I want to see you happy."
"I told you forty years ago," he muttered. "I don't deserve to be happy." Y/N frowned, then turned, shifting to sit up on her knees as she faced him. "Y/N," He began in a warning tone.
"Shut up," She whispered, then she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Herobrine was stiff for a few moments before he responded, resting his hands on her back and burying his face in her shoulder. Y/N combed her fingers through his long hair, a pang going through her chest as he took a shuddering breath.
"Why did you avoid me when I first came here?" She whispered.
"I was trying to drive you away," he whispered back. "Masking my feelings was hard enough just being in your presence... it made it easier if you were angry at me." Y/N blushed again, recalling how she'd shouted at him.
"Then why did you stop?" Was her next question. Herobrine's arms tightened around her.
"When you were injured, I lost the heart to do so." He mumbled. "I don't know what I would've done if I'd lost you."
"Then stay with me."
"I can't." He shook his head against her shoulder. "I couldn't... I don't want to hurt you." Y/N sighed, then pulled away, leaving her hands on his shoulders as he blinked down at her.
"Don't you know how happy I would be with you?" She whispered. "Forty years, and not a day has passed that I haven't missed you." Herobrine gave her a small, sad smile.
"That happiness would not last."
"You can't know that."
"No," he admitted. "But I know that I would not be able to bear it if you left." Y/N set her jaw. She wanted to protest, say that she'd never leave him, but her words seemed to be falling on deaf ears. So, instead, she cupped his cheek and leaned forward to press her lips to his.
Herobrine made a small sound as she kissed him, one hand going up to press against the back of her head. Y/N shut her eyes and drank up his nearness, the feeling of his fingers tangled in her hair and the roughness of his beard under her palm. Despite his protests, he didn't pull away, his other hand finding the small of her back as he drew her in closer.
Y/N held the kiss until she was forced to pull away to breathe. She opened her eyes, looking up, and was shocked to find his blank ones filled with tears.
"I'm sorry you fell in love with me," he choked out. "I'm so sorry-" His voice broke, and Y/N silently wrapped her arms around him again as tears ran down his cheeks.
**
Trixtin pressed a hand over her heart, letting out a quiet breath as she stopped at the crest of the hill.
"I was starting to think I'd never see this place again," she remarked.
"Yes," Phillip said dryly as he stopped beside her. "And if I have my way, you'll never be leaving it again.
"You won't," Trixtin told him. She glanced back at Meryl as she spoke, who was gazing at the capital in the distance with no small measure of relief.
Though it had been faint and winding in places, the road they had found several days prior had at least gotten them turned in the right direction. Some distance down it had been a piglin settlement - this one with residents who were still living, who had pointed them back towards the capital. Trixtin made a note to send a portion of her men there in case whatever had decimated the first town tried to do the same to them.
"Do you think the others are there?" Meryl asked.
"I doubt it." Phillip shook his head. "Even if they did come back here, they most likely would have left again in search of us. We'll see for sure when we arrive." Meryl nodded, looking grim.
"Assuming they're not, we can get search parties sent out as soon as we get there." Tekno nodded towards the castle in the distance. "The more sets of eyes, the better. The Nether is a big place."
"I can tell," Meryl muttered. Trixtin gave her a sympathetic glance.
"Let's go, then." Phillip spread his wings, looking to his queen, and she gladly allowed him to scoop her up in his arms. To their left, Meryl linked her arms with Tekno's, and the two valkyries took off in the direction of the capital.