So Jasper was hot. So what. Lots of people were hot, but that didn't mean you should like them, or try and pursue a relationship with them. And I definitely didn't want to do that with Jasper Hale. He was broody and asshole-ish and plenty arrogant when it came to school. He had mood swings, making it hard to predict if I was getting Happy Jasper or Irritated Jasper on any given day; obviously that was too much for someone to handle, and I didn't want to be the one to attempt it.
But he could also be kind and attentive, like when I broke my ankle or needed help up the stairs. And he'd supported me when talking to Chief Swan, not to mention he took care of Matthew pretty aggressively and had made it a point to deter him from getting anywhere near me during school hours. He could be funny too, with his dry sense of humor. Then there was the matter of how I felt around him, something that I couldn't really deny anymore. I'd made a fool of myself Wednesday, acting like I didn't have any sense just because he was so close to me and we were alone and he smelled so good...
I covered my now-blushing face with my hands, even though I was completely alone in my room, lying on my bed. So maybe I had a slight crush on Jasper Hale. That wouldn't be such a big deal if he wasn't a freaking empath. And if the admission of a crush to myself didn't cause me to lose all reason, but it usually did. He was way too good at picking up on feelings since I hadn't mastered how to hide them in our little practice sessions, and even if he wasn't an empath, I could be ridiculously bad at hiding my feelings from guys that didn't have supernatural abilities. At least I wouldn't have to see him for a whole week and perhaps that would help to clear my mind and sort through everything. I had plenty to do anyway, like making brownies for the weekend beach trip, packing for our trip to see our parents, and then packing a completely different set of clothes for the couple of days I'd be back in Alabama with Bethany. It would be a welcome distraction and then I'd have too much stuff going on to even think about Jasper. Hopefully.
Mercifully, Jess offered me a ride to work on Friday when Dr. Cullen had scheduled an exam to determine whether surgery was necessary or not. The crutches were getting old and my armpits would be grateful to be rid of them as much as my ankle would be grateful to not need any incisions. With new x-ray images in hand, Carlisle called me into his office to discuss the next steps of my treatment, leaving Deborah to manage the receptionist desk by herself. As always, she was none too pleased.
"It's good news all around, I think," he started just as we both sat across from each other. The chair was so comfy, it made you forget you were in a hospital. "Judging by your scan today, everything's healing cleanly. As long as there's no major complications in the next few weeks, there should be no need for any surgery. You will still need to use the crutches for longer walks, definitely during the school day. But try weaning yourself off of them at home, alright? How does that sound?"
Carlisle had a way of putting his patients at ease with a soft smile, and I was no exception. Briefly I wondered if he too might be some sort of empath, or if it was just his perfect hair. Nevertheless, I was happy as a clam in high tide at the newest assessment of my leg.
"That sounds great, actually. These things are for the birds," I patted the crutches leaning against my chair and stood to return back to my station. "Thank you for the check up, Doc."
"It's my pleasure. But Collins—"
I paused at the door and turned back to look at him, not sure what else he would want to talk about.
"It's my understanding that my son, Jasper, has been tutoring you in math for a few months. I know he can be a little...cross at times. Perhaps irksome is a better term. Either way, I just wanted to extend my gratitude for your patience. He had a lot of difficulties from his previous home carry over into his life here, and it's been an adjustment for all of us. It's nice to see his mood improving lately, so thank you."
I knew very little about Jasper and Rosalie's life in Texas, even after asking Bella and Alice for any info. All that I had to go off of was that it was a bad situation and they were more than glad that the Cullens were fostering them until graduation, but I figured they would be welcome to live with them as long as needed.
"It's no problem. I should be thanking him, though. I wouldn't be passing calculus without him."
Carlisle smiled so genuinely that it almost made me...sad that he was thanking me. Whatever it was that Jasper was struggling with, I hoped he was handling it better now. I hated to imagine what he was like before I'd met him.
Saturday morning began with the most wonderful sight I'd seen in forever: sunshine. It'd become apparent that the beginning of April in Washington was nowhere near as warm or clear as it was in Alabama. However, that day was unseasonably warm with clear skies as far as I could see from my small balcony. Dare I say it, we could get a tan. I could wear shorts! Or, at the very least, a thin long sleeved shift instead of the sweaters and heavy jackets I'd had on for the past three months. Whether or not I'd get the chance to strip down to my bathing suit, I went ahead and wore it under my clothes just in case. When Jess and Angela rolled up wearing theirs too, I knew it'd been a good idea.
"Let's gooo!" Jess yelled, rolling down the windows of Mike's Tahoe and speeding off towards the beach. He must have been crazy in love with her to let her get behind the wheel, but he was all grins from the passenger side. I'd offered to sit in the wayback with the towels, surfing gear, cooler, and snacks so Angela and Eric could snuggle in the middle. Hopefully this little beach day would be a welcomed start to our spring break and a breath of fresh air for Angela. One peek at the wine coolers someone had snuck confirmed that even if we had a bad time, we might not care so much.
It wasn't the kind of beach I'd been raised around but it would do. The sand wasn't soft and white and the waves were rougher and higher than I was used to. As soon as we parked, Jess, Mike, and Eric got zipped up into their wetsuits, boards in hand, and made a beeline for the water. Angela stayed back with me to set out beach chairs, lay out towels, and unpack the rest of the vehicle for when they'd had enough of getting tossed in the surf. The sun still shone overhead with no sign of clouds in any direction. The dark sand drew enough warmth that after thirty minutes of sitting out and enjoying the weather, I was stripping off my shirt and shoving it into my bag. Angela had been mostly quiet without Jessica nearby to strike up a conversation; I was grateful for a little nonverbal hangout so that I could read my book in peace while getting a little color on the areas of my body not confined to a medical device. It was only after a drink from the cooler that Angela started talking in short sentences and questions.
"What were you and Jasper up to the other day? I saw both of you leave in Alice's car right after school."
Something I loved about Angela was that she never pried for the sake of gossip or banter, but because she truly cared and wanted to know. Anything I told her would be safe from Jess or Bella or even the Cullens. She was a friend I could trust.
"I told Chief Swan about Matthew's little brush with crime. I'm not pressing charges but I reckon it's better than nothing in case it ever happens again, right? Jasper just offered to go for moral support and as a witness."
I cracked open a cold can and took a long sip. The fruity, fizzy drink burned my chest in a good way that helped to calm any thoughts about my new found crush.
"Moral support? Is that what that's called?"
Her mouth twisted into a grin that made me suddenly very nervous to proceed with the topic at hand.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I took another large gulp and relished the burn.
"I don't know, it just seems like you guys are spending a lot of time together. I know he's your tutor, but last time I checked, you two could hardly stand sitting at the same lunch table, let alone riding in the same car."
I pondered the validity of that statement and couldn't deny that Jasper and I were spending more time together than we'd originally planned. Some of it was after school sessions to make up for when he skipped or it was due to us meeting early to fit in more empath practice, but that had only just started. I didn't think anyone would notice. Another gulp. A long silence.
"I'm sorry if I'm being too nosey. I'm sure if there was anything going on, you'd tell me if you wanted to."
I flipped over onto my back and pulled my ball cap over my face to further obscure it. Was it that obvious?
"Trust me Angela, nothing has happened between me and Jasper."
If you ignored the dance of course. And nothing really had happened then, as long as you considered the butterflies raging in my stomach during the few minutes we'd danced together to be a totally platonic occurrence. And if you ignored the really dumb way my mind worked when we were alone together for any amount of time. I closed my book and flopped it down on the towel beside me and let out a long sigh. Nothing has happened was as much a lament as it was a relief.
"Do you...want something to happen?"
"Do I have to answer that question?"
Angela laughed at that and scooted her towel a little closer.
"Look Collins, if you wanted to ask Jasper out, I would fully endorse that decision. But only if it was what you wanted."
I turned my head to study her face and gauge whether she was really serious. Of course, being that it was Angela, she was.
"I don't know Ange. He's kind of an ass." I paused and considered if I should tell her about the rest of Wednesday, then threw caution to the wind. "I almost kissed him the other day."
"Shut up!" she smacked my shoulder with her palm in a very Jessica-esque fashion that she rarely showed. "Well what happened?"
So much for keeping Jasper off of my mind, but if there was anyone I trusted for advice in Forks, it was her. So I told her the details, minus the whole empath part, as best as I could. Maybe I was overanalyzing his body language and making something out of nothing. Maybe I was so caught up in my own feelings that I was spinning a situation that wasn't truly there.
"I don't know, ya know. Jasper always kept to himself before you moved here and Bella came back. We only just recently started all hanging out as a group; that's why it was so awkward at first."
That was helpful but not exactly what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that he was just being nice, just trying to pass all of his classes so he could graduate on time. Angela's input only muddied the water more; I couldn't believe that there were any feelings on Jasper's end, and it would be smart to get rid of any that were on mine. In a little over two months, we'd probably be going separate ways and would never see each other again. Even if there was something, it would do no good to chase it now.
"Please don't say anything to Jess. Or Alice. Please. I just want to forget about it."
"Your secret is safe with me."
Near the parking lot, a car door slammed and someone gave a loud whoop! I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as a couple of guys exited the truck that'd just pulled up in. They all looked as if they could be related with matching tan skin and dark brown or black hair. And they were tall, like, ridiculously. I'd guesstimated Jasper to be a little over six feet, but these guys were well over that, and totally ripped. Had a car full of Hollister models rolled up to do a photoshoot at La Push Beach, or was this just a coincidence? Three out of the four of them took off in a sprint to the forest in the direction of the cliffs, while the last leaned against the hood of the van and crossed his arms over his chest, looking like a father watching his sons enjoy a beach day for the first time.
"Who are they?" We followed the group with our eyes until they disappeared into the trees, completely obscured by the lush greenery. From far behind us, Jess let out a laugh that ended in a shriek, followed by the rush of a wave breaking on the sand.
"They're part of the Quileute tribe. We're technically on the reservation here," Angela mumbled. Then she added barely above a whisper, "that's Sam Uley. He found Bella last fall when Edward left."
"Wait, he what?"
Angela sat up, our light-hearted conversation obviously forgotten now. "The day the Cullens left, Bella went missing for a couple of hours after school. I guess Edward had been with her at some point, but Sam was the one that found her catatonic on the ground in the middle of the woods."
The guy, Sam I guess, turned his head a fraction of an inch, and I got the distinct impression that he knew we were talking about him. He couldn't have though, given that the rushing of the ocean was much louder than our voices. Still, his dark eyes pinned me with a look that started a chill along my spine. I shifted back to my stomach, attempting to make the motion seem as nonchalant as possible.
"So Bella was just...lying in the woods? Was she injured or something?"
Angela shook her head and reluctantly continued, "No, I don't think so. Just cold and maybe a little dehydr— shit."
I started at her language, but then followed her gaze back over my shoulder...where Sam was walking in our direction, eyes trained straight on us.
"What's he coming over here for?" I gritted my teeth and moved my lips as little as possible to disguise my words. Within seconds, he was in earshot, roar of the ocean be damned. I opened my book and made a weak pass at legitimate reading until the sound of his feet scuffing against the wet sand was unable to be ignored.
"Hello," he greeted with a smile that didn't totally meet his eyes. "Nice day for surfing, isn't it?"
"That it is," I shielded my eyes and put on my best Southern Belle smile that said I'm just a lil' lady. Be nice to me, won't cha'? Either he didn't buy it, or he had some Southern Belle trauma.
"I haven't seen you around here before," he said, then sat down in the sand only a foot or so away. Too close for comfort. "I'm Sam. Sam Uley."
"Collins Walker," I reciprocated, extending my hand to shake his. His fingers looked completely normal, but as my hand wrapped around his, the feverish temperature made me pull away early. "I moved here a couple months ago. Are you the welcoming committee?"
He laughed, the fake smile finally reaching his eyes.
"No, but I—," he paused, that same smile fading so quickly that my own mouth turned down in a frown. His nostrils flared out as he took a deep breath, and his eyes flashed from their casual friendliness into a cold stare. He looked like a different person in the matter of two seconds.
"I have to go," he hastily sprang to his feet and jogged off in the direction the other guys had run off to only a few minutes ago. We watched him disappear with the rest, then turned to give each other identical questioning looks.
"That was weird," I commented. Off in the distance, at the very tip of the cliff outlined by light blue sky and blue-black water, stood three figures. They simultaneously launched themselves off into perfect swan dives, landing in the ocean without so much as a splash.
"What the hell," I gasped. "That's a really dumb idea. They could get killed doing that. Do they know they could die doing that? If not, someone should tell them." I awkwardly pulled my legs to the side and sat up to watch for the heads of the three boys to buoy up out of the water. Time stretched on, and just when I'd hit my "call 911" mark, they surfaced fifty feet away from their entrance point. For what they lacked in sense, they made up for in lung capacity. Angela didn't seem nearly as worried, but she'd definitely been eyeing them to make sure they weren't dead.
"The locals do it all the time. I'm not saying it's a good idea, just not out of the ordinary. Don't teenagers in Alabama do stupid things for fun, too?"
I tapped my chin for a moment in mock thought.
"Mmmm, maybe getting drunk in a corn field, but that's not the same as jumping into rocky water."
Jess, Mike, and Eric were pulling themselves and their boards out of the water, looking thoroughly water-logged and grinning ear to ear.
"Perfect waves today," Eric shouted, plopping down beside Angela and giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. She giggled and shoved his shoulder, but I knew she enjoyed every bit of it. The beach trip was having its intended purpose then.
"Collins, you should totally try it! You can borrow my suit and board," Jess turned her back to Mike so he could pull the zipper down within her reach. Either a blush or a fresh sunburn had colored his cheeks a deep pink.
"Um, as much as I'd love to, my foot is gonna count me out."
It was bad enough that I'd taken the boot off, but considering the good news I'd gotten at my appointment the previous day, I thought that a little freedom would be okay. So far, there'd been zero pain or discomfort, which I marked as a win.
"Or we could try our luck at cliff jumping," Eric nodded his head in that direction, where Sam had made it to the very edge. I could just barely make him out from where I sat. Before he threw himself from safety, I watched as he turned his head back to us and got the distinct feeling that he was looking at me again. As quickly as I had that thought, he faced forward, bent his knees, and jumped.
☽●☾
"Why didn't you ask Carlisle to prescribe you something? He could have put you on Xanax for the flight."
"I didn't think about it," I grumbled to Cara as the plane taxied the runway for what felt like an hour, but had only been a few minutes so far. She was casually reading the novel she'd purchased in the airport while I leaned my head back and prayed for the Dramamine to kick-in before we got in the air. If there was any small mercy, it was that we weren't flying out in bad weather; that would have thrown me for a loop. I wouldn't be able to reach any state even resembling relaxation until we were halfway to Europe, and by that time, I would start to worry about landing. Everybody quotes the statistic about air travel having a lower risk of killing you than traveling by car. The fact they always conveniently leave out is that take-off and landing are the two times that a malfunction is more likely to occur. I squeezed my eye tighter as we started to pick up speed, knowing that at any moment, we'd be soaring weightlessly through the air towards Mom and Dad. The plane rattled as our ground velocity reached its peak, and then smoothed out. Cara wriggled her fingers out from my clutch now that we had made it through what I considered the worst part. Sunlight poured through the open window, and once I got my bearings, I could look out at the tiny details we passed over. Houses became the size of pin pricks, then became obscured by layers of pure white clouds. My own book sat closed in my lap, waiting to be cracked open and explored. My sister had already had a pair of noise canceling headphones pulled over her ears, signaling that if I talked to her, I better be in the midst of dying or she'd kill me. She had never been a talker as much as I had. If we had over ten hours in the air, the least I could do was get some reading in. Carol, the owner of the small secondhand bookstore had been clearing out their older inventory and she'd given me a tip off about the big sale this weekend. I'd stocked up on a plethora of different genres, even ones that I typically didn't gravitate towards, because they'd been a steal. She had romance, horror, thrillers, mysteries, self-help, sci-fi, high fantasy, dystopian, anything you could think of. The one I'd selected from my haul was a 1970s urban fantasy, following the lives of different creatures that coexisted with humans, just in disguise. Not my usual, but so far, I'd found it entertaining enough.
The main character, Christine, was a vampire that worked as a detective for a city police department. By day, she found ways to circumvent the whole "no sun" thing, and by night, she tried to unravel an ongoing murder investigation plaguing other non-human entities. During the flight, I settled deeper into the story of how her boyfriend (human) was finding out that she was not, well, human. It was going about as well as one would expect if they told their partner that they weren't the same species. I paused only for meals and snacks, and by the time we started our descent, my body was stiffer than starched linen from being curled around the book for so long. Cara was asleep with her mouth partly open. I nudged her awake.
"We're about to land," I mumbled while leaning over to stuff the yellowed novel into my carry-on. It was somehow packed full with a week's worth of clothes; Walkers were not about the extra airline fees. Cara and I both stretched in our seats, turning this way and that until the cricks in our necks were loosened. This was the longest I'd ever gone without seeing my parents. Spending a week away from home for summer camp before seventh grade was enough to make my mother come unglued with worry. The fact that she'd moved to another country, putting an ocean between us, had been the biggest shock, instead of my dad getting the highly competitive promotion. I'm sure she never would have agreed to it if Cara hadn't let me live with her; I was their little girl and likely would always be about 2 feet tall in their eyes.
The feeling of walking off the plane was so intensely relieving that I could've almost cried, until I remembered that I had two more flights scheduled this week. At the very least, my last one from Alabama to Washington would only take a fraction of the time compared to the other two.
The airport was bustling with people, most of whom were speaking a language other than English, predominantly French. I should have gotten an English-French dictionary in preparation for our visit but my Southern accent would probably make anything I said down-right insulting to those who heard it. The signs, all obviously written first in French, then in English at the bottom, caught my eye on our way to the pickup area. I nearly bumped into a group of people before Cara grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to her side.
"I know you've never been out of the States, but you're already acting like a tourist," she spat out the last word like she was swearing and focused on weaving our way through the throng of people. My sister was a force to be reckoned with when she had a goal or destination in sight. It was one of the things that she and I shared, just to a lesser degree.
"But I am a tourist," I drawled, making her roll her eyes, though she didn't say anything else. Just up ahead, holding a large sign with the name "Walker'' in big black letters, were our parents. They looked just as they had three months ago. As I threw my arms around my mom, the feeling of being home, of being with someone that knew me better than anyone else, brought tears to my eyes. I tightened my grip for a few seconds until I could get myself under control, then stepped back and smiled so widely, my cheeks ached.
"Bonjour!" she sing-songed, proving my theory about Southern-American French; it sounded awful. But she couldn't have said anything to take away how happy it felt to see them again.
"Got'cherself a nice looking boot right there," Dad said, pointing towards my right leg. "How's it healing?"
"Let's talk about this in the car when there aren't lots of people trying to move around us, yeah?" Cara ushered us to the exit, keeping her steps short and brisk.
☽●☾
"So, how are things really going?"
Mom and I were sitting outside of a French cafe, sipping coffee and eating butter croissants while people-watching. So far, we hadn't seen anyone do anything particularly entertaining, but once we did, it'd only be a matter of time before we were in the midst of unconsolable giggles. We'd spent the first night getting unpacked and listening to dad talk about his new job and how much he liked his coworkers. He was still adjusting to the shift in workplace culture, but overall, he was more excited about work than I had seen him in a long time, maybe ever. The next morning was filled with walking everywhere. There was so much to see and so little time, I felt like my feet might fall off before our visit was over if we kept it up. My sister, in true Cara fashion, wanted to see everything, though she wanted to do it all at once. I wanted to slow down and enjoy the sights. We had managed to avoid a fight thus far, but the week was young. She even wanted to see the facility Dad's office was located in, but I'd bowed out and offered to keep mom company. Now, as we sat and ate, I partially regretted it. This was where the last few months might catch up to me. They still didn't know about Matthew, at all, and I'd like to keep it that way.
"They've been good. I've met a lot of people and made a couple a' friends. We actually went to the beach on Saturday," I sipped my coffee, relishing the fresh taste. I intended to drink as much coffee and eat as many French pastries as I could handle before leaving.
"That's good, that's real good. Are any of these friends boys?" she lifted her eyebrows suggestively, making my face warm. "Anyone noteworthy?"
I shook my head, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.
"Come on, Collins. No one? Not a single guy? No one's caught your eye?"
I took a deep breath, ready to lie my butt off and hopefully do it well.
"Really, momma. No one. Some of my guys are friends but they're all dating one of my other friends." That wasn't really a lie, if you didn't consider Jasper my friend. I tried not to consider him at all. "Besides, there's no point in dating anyone when I might have to move after graduation."
I hoped to steer the conversation in the direction of college and what I should do about it, but my momma was still set on interrogating me about boys.
"What about the one that's tutoring you in calculus? The doctor's son?"
I'd broken down and told my parents about needing to be tutored because Cara would likely mention it anyway. I'd said it in passing during a phone call but didn't think that they would remember the details about who he was. So much for keeping him off my mind this week; I'd barely made it a single day.
"What about him?" I dodged, taking another sip of my coffee.
"What's he like? You haven't told us much. Is he cute?"
Cute wasn't a word I would choose to describe Jasper Hale; it was too...juvenile. He was something else entirely, the way he held himself, the way he talked, and the way he treated the people around him. I thought back to him and Matt in the parking lot after the dance and felt a shiver start its way up my spine. To be honest, I had the feeling that Jasper could be dangerous if provoked, I had just only seen him provoked by people that genuinely wanted to cause me harm.
"He's alright. Kind of a smart butt though, and he can be really moody," I shrugged and tried to continue playing it cool so we could please talk about something that didn't make my stomach get all fluttery and weird.
"Well that's too bad," Momma said, pityingly, as she stirred her cup with a metal spoon. "Have you decided what to do about college?"
I breathed a sigh of relief because this was a subject I was more prepared to navigate, a subject that I was comfortable thinking about and had clearer direction on. I launched into the plan I had for after graduation: attend Auburn with Bethany. I should be hearing back about scholarships near the end of May or beginning of June, and Bethany already had leads on a couple of apartments that we could rent together or with a third roommate. The more we talked about it together, as the sun started to set, the more excited I became about my future plans and the easier it was to put Jasper out of my mind.
☽●☾
The next two days, I made good on my promise of consuming pastries and coffee in between visits to tourist spots, like the Louvre and Palace of Versailles. Mom completely dropped asking about boys, and Dad took some time off to be with Cara and I before our trip ended. On the last day for me, Wednesday, we walked through various art exhibits, filled with oil paintings dating back to the 1600s. I especially appreciated Carvaggio's work and the way he'd blended each shade seamlessly into the next, how the highlights made each scene pop as if you were really witnessing the event in frame. Near the corner of one room, in a dimly lit area, was a painting that made me do a double take, then pull Cara over for her opinion.
"What," she asked, already having passed the painting in question and moved onto another.
"Who does that remind you of?" I pointed to the portrait, willing her to see what I was seeing. "Doesn't it look like someone we know? Someone from Forks?"Cara raised her finger to her bottom lip and squinted, turning her head this way and that. I waved my hand impatiently, as if that would make her recognize the figure any sooner.
"I don't know; it does look familiar but I'm not sure who," she shrugged, turning away from the painting and back to me. "Why? Who does it look like to you?"
"Dr. Cullen," I half-whispered, because the resemblance was so uncanny in my eyes, it creeped me out a little. "I mean, with much older clothes and a different hairstyle of course. But if you cover up all that," I reached up to obscure those two things from my line of sight, "and focus on the face, it looks just like him doesn't it?"
I don't know why it was so important for her to see what I was seeing, but I desperately wanted her to agree with me about this.
"Yeah, I guess it kinda does," she shrugged again and turned to continue perusing the gallery. I, however, was still transfixed by the artwork. I pulled out my cellphone to take a picture, only to spot the large sign that clearly banned the use of electronic devices, especially for the purpose of photography. The last thing we needed was to get kicked out of the museum for breaking the rules, but I had to have a reference to this, some way to remember it for when I got home and could research it later. I hid my phone in the sleeve of my jacket and crept toward the metal plate to the right of the painting that had the artist's name, the name of the painting, and an estimate of when the work had been completed. With a quick check to my left and right, I hurriedly snapped a picture of the plaque and slipped it back into my jeans pocket before any of the security guards or employees could see it. Just another thing to add to my ongoing investigation
Late Wednesday night, my insides were once again in turmoil about flying home, especially since I was going to be alone this time. Cara wanted to extend her vacation another week since she'd been so overloaded with work; I'd seen how stressed out she'd been, so when she checked whether I would be okay to head back by myself, I assured her it was no problem and encouraged her to not think twice about it. Her whole demeanor had relaxed in the few days we'd been in France, and it was nice to have my sister back. On the ride to the airport, I tried to distract myself by chit-chatting with my parents, but we were all three too tired to say much. My mind continuously went over and over a checklist of everything I needed to do at the airport since there would be no one there to remind me. In the lobby, I gave both of my parents one last hug and told them I loved them. The next time I would see them would probably be graduation in around two months.
I popped a few Dramamine after making it through TSA, to ensure they'd be in full effect once we took off. If the plane crashed, I didn't even want to be aware of it. Right around the time a flight attendant began the safety protocols, I could feel my eyelids getting heavier and my mind starting to slow down; I didn't make it to take off before nodding off in the relatively empty plane.
☽●☾
Seeing Bethany again, being in Alabama again, was like a breath of fresh air. The weather had already turned warmer, reaching mid 80s by Saturday. That was the day that Bethany's family and I headed to the beach, with the intention of staying the night and having me fly out from PCB Sunday morning. Flying three times in the span of a week was enough to turn me off to air travel for the rest of my life.
Out of all the friends I'd made in Forks, Jessica was the one that reminded me most of Bethany. They were both outgoing and spoke their minds no matter who was listening. Bethany was a little rougher around the edges, but that was more of her Southern disposition than anything else. She was the longest and best friend I'd ever had, and being around her again made my heart clench in a painful way that I hadn't felt since the first week or so after moving to Forks. As we lied on our beach towels, slathered in suntan oil, I could almost make myself believe that I'd never left Alabama, that my whole life hadn't changed in the span of a few months.
"I cannot express to you how amazing this feels," I said, soaking in the warm rays of the sun for the first time in forever. Last Saturday at La Push was alright, but nowhere near what I was used to. I was going to get as tan as I possibly could in one day, everything else be damned. The soft white sand spread across the beach, like piles of sugar instead of the dark rocky stuff in Washington. It was blinding, even with sunglasses on.
"I don't know how you've survived as long as you have," Bethany blew a strand of hair out of her face and swiveled her eyes to follow a shirtless guy jogging near the water. "Months without sun sounds absolutely terrible."
To be fair, it wasn't as bad as I had made it out to be, I'm sure. I could be a little exaggeratory with my description of Forks's weather. The rain was nice when you wanted to curl up with a book and a cup of hot tea and be a little lazy for the day. But the cold, I could do without.
"Why do you think I'm baking out here? Gotta trap all the sunlight for when I head back."
We'd been talking about our college plans the last two days, and now that we had a more solid course set, I could relax into my towel, maybe even take a beach nap.
"You mean there isn't anyone you're dying to get back to?"
Ugh, not Bethany too! My mom had tried her hardest to get information out of me and it was a miracle I hadn't cracked. Bethany could be even worse. And since she didn't have anyone else to tell, there was less reason to hide anything from her; except that telling her about Jasper would require me to admit it to myself as well.
"Um, not really," I brushed a little sand from the edge of my towel, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Bethany gave me her full attention, leaving the shirtless jogging guy alone.
"You're a terrible liar, Collins," she laughed and plopped down on her side to face me. I was struck by how familiar this felt, almost perfectly mirroring the conversation between me and Angela last Saturday. I knew I could trust Bethany and just like I knew I could trust Angela. They were alike in that regard. "Is it the calculus tutor? That guy that was being a jackass? Have you finally jumped his bones after breaking up with that other dude?"
"Bethany!" I hissed, glad that her parents had left for a walk to the pier about thirty minutes ago. "Can you not!"
"Don't be such a prude. And you still haven't answered my question," her eyebrows lifted and nearly disappeared into her strawberry blonde hair. "Is he really as hot as you said he was? Because the person you described was practically unreal."
Was Jasper really that hot? Yes, he was. What Bethany didn't realize was that ALL of the Cullens were pretty unreal when it came to the looks department.
"No, I haven't 'jumped his bones,'" I air quoted and winced at the phrase. "It's nothing like that. He's just attractive is all. We can hardly get along for more than thirty minutes before we're making catty remarks at each other. And it doesn't matter anyway, since I'll be moving back here in a few months."
"Yeah, that's true, but you could totally hate fu-,"
"Bethany!" I shrieked, feeling my whole body heat up uncomfortably, and not from the midday sun. "Please just drop it."
"Fine, fine. I'll let it go. But just know, if it ever happens, I want alllll the details."
I groaned and laid back on the towel. I was right. Jasper and I didn't get along all that well and probably never would. Whatever I felt for him was just a shallow attraction, a misunderstanding. He could be kind, but just because he was kind didn't mean he was interested. And it didn't matter. I would be gone in a few months and could forget all about him and his mysterious family.
☽●☾
"You've got to be kidding me," I mumbled as I walked from the terminal to the lobby where my taxi driver should have been waiting, large sign in hand. Instead of a taxi driver, there was the chief of police, Charlie Swan, without anything to indicate who he was picking up. But somehow, someway, I knew he was my ride. As I approached and hoped that someone else was waiting and I hadn't spotted them yet, he waved his hand over his head and called my name.
"Collins! Over here!"
I plastered a smile on my face and tried to look more pleased than surprised to see him. I'm sure he was busy at the station and it really was nice of him to take the time to give me a ride, but the idea of sitting with him in the car all the way back to Forks, after the last conversation we'd had, made me want to hop back on the plane.
"Hi Charlie," I greeted him politely, just like my momma had always taught me. "You're my chauffeur?"
"Yeah, it appears that way," he smiled wryly. "Your sister called me and told me you would be coming back by yourself. She wanted to make sure you were safe, considering the recent violence in Seattle."
"Right, of course," I nodded. That was nice of her, but I wished it could have been literally anyone else from Forks as we piled into the baby blue squad car. Aside from being the officer I filed the report with, he was also Bella's dad, a friend that I wasn't particularly close to. I knew he didn't like Edward, something we seemed to have in common most days, but I didn't want our disdain for his daughter's boyfriend to be our topic of conversation the whole ride. Bella had mentioned that her dad was mostly quiet, like herself, and didn't pry too much into her business. She was lucky there, because my parents had no problem prying into my business when it suited them.
"Thank you for the ride," I attempted a little small talk once we hit the main road. We'd be in the car for about an hour, and if he wasn't going to turn the radio on, we'd have nothing but the police scanner to listen to. "I know your job keeps you pretty busy."
"Ah, it's no problem. I was actually handling some work in Seattle, so it all worked out. You've seen the fliers around town, the ones for Riley Biers?" I nodded my head, watching the trees fly past. "He's still missing and they think it's connected to all that mess. I never thought it'd get bad around here, but the reports have been downright gruesome."
He shook his head, a look of disgust wrinkling his face. I knew about the murders and disappearances upon my arrival, but hadn't been paying all that much attention to the news stations or the papers, mostly because when I was in the car, Jessica had a CD playing Beyonce or the Black Eyed Peas. My knowledge of current events wasn't exactly current.
"What's been happening?" I asked, genuinely curious. He shook his head again and looked at me with hesitation, like he didn't want to tell me, but did anyway.
"They've been finding," he paused here, then continued as delicately as he could, "bodies, a large amount of bodies, drained completely of blood. Mostly around shady parts of town. Bars. Strip clubs."
My stomach turned sour at the description he'd just given. I'd heard of serial killers, watched Law & Order SVU late at night and then stayed up listening to every sound outside my window, thinking it was some monster coming to kill me. But never, had I ever, heard of someone draining the blood out of another person's body. My first thought was of a mortician, preparing a body for embalming. That's the only time I've ever heard of someone doing that for a reasonable purpose. My next thought, which almost made me laugh at the absurdity, was vampires. Maybe it's the fantasy novel I've been reading or the fact that I'm still getting over the grogginess from my heavy dose of Dramamine, but the image of Christine, the vampire detective that I've been picturing while reading, appeared in my mind. I think of her kneeling over a pale corpse that's limp and completely drained of life. Only, its countless bodies littering the street. I pushed the image away and steeled my face into a neutral mask while listening to Charlie.
"Bella's been carrying around bear spray," he said, lifting an eyebrow. "I think I've got an extra can at the house if you want it. At least until your sister gets back."
It's awful nice of him to offer, awful nice of him to care in the first place, even if it's technically his job. But whoever, whatever, is behind the murders, isn't going to be stopped with bear spray, I thought.
"Actually, I think I'm covered in the weapons department. Cara keeps a pistol in her nightstand just in case. I figure that'll be just as effective." Charlie's face vacillated between pleased to hear that I have some way to protect myself and the idea of me having access to a handgun, I'm sure. I added that the gun was, in fact, unloaded, and the ammunition was stored separately, though I wasn't entirely sure. It sounded better though.
"That's...good to hear," he didn't sound one hundred percent enthused, but he did steer the conversation back off of me. "Anyway, Seattle PD is trying to nail down some leads but whoever is responsible has been cleaning up after themselves."
"Even the best criminals make mistakes," I commented, not really wanting to think about bodies drained of their blood anymore. It made me feel nauseated and unsettled. "How's Bella been enjoying her spring break?"
It's the one thing that puts a real smile on Charlie's face. Once he starts talking about his only daughter, he can't stop. I gladly sit back and let him, knowing it'll make the ride pass by faster.
"She took a couple of days to visit Renee in Jacksonville and has been spending time with Edward since she got back." Charlie's voice turned less chipper at the mention of his daughter's beau. I didn't know exactly what Charlie had against Edward, but I figured it was the same issue I had with him: whenever Bella was in some type of trouble, he wasn't too far behind. "Even though Edward went with her...on the trip."
I laughed a little at how Charlie didn't bother to hide his less than positive opinion, and tried to prepare myself for the next few weeks. Spring break hadn't been all that much of a restful break, given all the traveling that I had done. Tomorrow would be another Monday, back to the old grind.
☽●☾
"Yes, I'm fine. No, I won't let anyone in the house, I promise. Yes I'll check in with Charlie."
Cara is worse than my parents sometimes when it comes to my safety. Monday morning, while getting dressed, I juggled the phone from one shoulder to the other, answering the same questions over and over and affirming that I wouldn't do something liable to get me killed until she got back. She was worried enough that her one minute phone call had turned into ten, much more expensive than she'd planned.
"Cara, I'm trying to get pants on, and I'm going to miss my ride if I'm not careful. I swear I'll not make any dumb decisions until you get back to deal with them. Love you."
She could fuss me out later for hanging up on her; I refused to go to school without pants on. I near about fell down the stairs, which would have done great things for my still healing ankle, while trying to get to the door. That was why I was completely surprised to not see Angela, Jess, or Alice standing outside, waiting. I would have been grateful to even see Bella or Edward at this rate. Because instead of any of those five, it was Jasper freaking Hale waiting to give me a ride to school.
"Um, hi. What are you doing here?" I decided to forgo pleasantries, seeing as they rarely landed as well as I intended them. As much as I tried to put him out of my mind, it was a shock to see him so suddenly at my door, looking stunning as ever. Behind him, a shiny chrome Harley-Davidson bike stood propped up right by the curb. I'd never ridden a motorcycle before, and surely didn't want to do so with a pair of crutches and a walking boot. There were no helmets, I noticed.
"Taking you to school. Obviously," he said plainly before turning on his heel and walking back the way he'd come.
"But I've got crutches!" I called, feeling my skin heat with frustration. "How am I supposed to hold them?"
"Don't," he answered over his shoulder, not missing a single step. "And hurry; I'd hate to be late. It'll look bad on my record."
I hastily propped the crutches by the door and rolled my eyes. Like one tardy would mean anything compared to all the absences he'd accrued over just the last month, let alone the whole semester. I couldn't really run in my boot, and fast walking required me to swing my leg awkwardly to the side, but if he was my only option for a ride, then he'd just have to be patient.
"I'm not really supposed to walk without my crutches, according to your....Carlisle," I switched at the end, not sure what his view of his foster dad was. "Only when I'm at home or not around people that might...I don't know. Accidentally hit my leg."
I felt lame, just standing there trying to come up with a reason to not ride with Jasper and pleaded silently that someone, anyone, would pull up instead. Who even drove a bike in Forks anyway? It rained practically all the time; seemed like a frivolous investment to me. If there were any upside to the situation, it was that I had ample fuel for irritation towards Jasper, which masked any other emotion that could be misconstrued as affection.
"Do you think someone is going to roundhouse kick you on the way to art? You'll be fine, I promise. Come on," he offered me his hand and nodded his head towards the space behind himself, which wasn't very much. I eyed the leather seat, then his face, then the leather seat again. He was dead serious. Fine, whatever. So much for promising Cara that I wouldn't do anything dangerous or stupid, because this was both. I clasped his forearm in my hand, not needing a dizzy spell as I slung my leg over the bike. I'd seen people ride bikes together before; usually, the person in the back had to wrap their arms around the person in front. The thought sent my heart into a flurry, and I opted to grab the sides of the seat so hard, my fingers ached.
"Suit yourself," Jasper said, and I knew that he was referring to my decision to not touch him. He was smiling. I didn't realize why it was so funny to him until he hit the gas, and I nearly fell off into the middle of the street. So my hands went to his waist until I realized even on a bike with very little to protect you from everyone else driving — not even a freaking helmet— he still had a penchant for going over the speed limit by at least fifteen miles per hour. Reluctantly, I slid my arms around him until I was secure enough that my stomach didn't do a somersault with every curve of the road. The cold wind whipped my hair in several directions and stung my nose and cheeks. It was...fun, in a crazy, exhilarating kind of way. I would have laughed if not for being afraid a bug would fly in my mouth. And that Jasper would think he was right.
One would expect that being huddled together with someone on a bike would offer some semblance of warmth due to their body heat, but from Jasper, I felt none. It was one of those things that you don't realize you're missing right away, but it bugs you, and when you figure it out, it seems really obvious and you can't forget it.
The ride had only lasted a few minutes with the way he drove. Instead of being late, we were kind of early, beating even Edward and Bella, who pulled up a minute or so behind us.
"My hair is gonna look like a rat's nest," I complained to hide my enjoyment, as I pulled my fingers through my hair, trying to unknot it as best as I could. Several strands came detached, floating off as the wind picked them up. Jasper just rolled his eyes and otherwise acted as if he didn't hear me while securing the bike and adjusting his backpack over his shoulders.
"Give it here, Walker," he offered his hand out, and I shook my head.
"Nah, I got it. I'm crutch free and bulletproof. I can manage."
People were looking. No, they were staring. It wasn't everyday that Jasper drove his bike, and it definitely wasn't everyday that he had someone accompany him. Having him carrying my things after me being wrapped around him in the parking lot — no matter how necessary it was for safety — would only spur rumors that neither of us needed.
"Collins," he repeated, more exasperated this time. I was already taking a couple of steps in the direction of the front building, my back to him and my focus straight ahead. There was the sound of a motorcycle starting up, and for a second, I thought it was Jasper leaving for whatever reason. That is, until someone I'd never seen before, but looked awful familiar, pulled into the parking lot on what looked like a dirtbike. My first thought was Sam Uley, the guy that had acted so strangely at La Push a week ago though I realized after a moment it wasn't him. They might could be related with how similar they looked. Whoever it was, they pulled into a spot and just stood there, glaring. I followed their line of sight in the same direction and landed on Edward Cullen's car, where he and Bella were both exiting.
I was mid-stride, my booted leg barely suspended off of the pavement when a firm hand closed around my bicep, stopping me in my tracks.
"Jasper really I–"
But Jasper wasn't stopping me to argue about carrying my bag. He was stopping me from getting any closer to the Sam look alike. His brow furrowed in a look bordering on confusion and pure hatred.
"Do you know who that is?" I asked, clear that there was some recognition between the two of them.
"Yeah," he bit off curtly. "It's Jacob Black."
The name meant nothing to me, but I had a good hunch he was a member of the Quileute tribe. From afar, it was clear that he, Edward, and Bella were having a heated discussion as he crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at the both of them. Jasper's hand remained on my arm, holding me still as we both watched the show. Then, quite surprisingly, Bella hopped on the bike with Jacob and they tore out of the lot as quickly as he'd come in. Edward just stood there, looking a little lost and a whole lot angry.
☽●☾
There was no time to hound Jasper about whoever Jacob Black was or why he and Bella had skipped school together. The AP Calculus exam was coming up at the end of April, and every second of class was spent reviewing old material and squeezing in what was left of new material before the testing date. Luckily, Jess and Angela had also witnessed the exchange from the opposite end of the lot and filled me in on the details during lunch. Jasper and Edward were both nowhere to be found, and Alice claimed to be using her lunch time to get a jumpstart on an art project she had in the works.
"They were friends a long time ago when Bella visited her dad more," Jessica whispered even though no one involved was around her to hear. "They, like, reconnected when she and Edward broke up last year, but apparently there's been some falling out. Edward can't stand him."
"I don't think Jasper is his biggest fan either," I added, based on how he'd reacted this morning.
"Mhm," Angela hummed, giving me a look from the corner of her eye. She had seen Jasper and I together; Jess had not. I preferred to keep it that way for now. I slowly slid my finger across my neck in a don't even think about it kind of way.
☽●☾
"That's at least a little better, isn't it?" I whined.
"Yeah, what are you doing different?"
"Just focusing more."
It turns out that if you're trying to block out a supernatural emotional feedback loop from a guy that you have a slight crush on, then the best way to do it is by focusing so hard on literally anything that doesn't have to do with him. For hiding said crush and blocking him out, that is.
"One more try, and then I'm done. It's giving me a headache," I massaged my temples and closed my eyes for just a moment to try and alleviate the tension in my brain. I was glad that we were making progress, but it took a lot out of me, especially after all of the math we'd done.
"Alright," he agreed, and instead of just touching the ends of our fingers together like we'd been doing, he slipped his hand under mine and clasped it gently. His hands, as always, were freezing even though the heat was running at a warm 73 degrees. Despite being cold, his skin looked a shade less pale. It was most noticeable by the flush of pink near his cheekbones and the slightly lighter purple circles that permanently shaded his under-eyes. His eyes were brighter gold too, brighter than I'd seen them in a while. Camping over spring break had apparently done him some good.
"How was your spring break?" Jasper asked. We never talked during our little practice sessions. It took too much effort to concentrate on two things at once, and now he was trying to hold a whole conversation.
"It was good. I visited my parents and a friend back home. Cara's supposed to be flying back this weekend."
I don't know why I said that. Did that make it seem like I was implying that I would be home alone all week?
"Old flame?" he asked, his eyes shining in the fluorescent lighting. I clenched my teeth and focused on the wall I had up in my mind. That's what it was, he was trying to mess with me, trying to break my concentration. It was why he'd grabbed my hand the way he did, why he'd started talking and asking questions, and why he was staring me down so intently.
"Sorry, but no. Just an old girl friend. My best friend."
He nodded his head.
"What about you? How was camping?"
Jasper knew I'd caught on to his distraction; the recognition flashed in his eyes and his lips pulled up in amusement.
"We hunted for a few days, mostly cougars," he answered simply.
"Are cougars good for eating?" I'd never really heard of people hunting cougars unless there was an overpopulation. He just shrugged and ran his thumb across the back of my middle knuckle, and whatever was left of my stubborn focus dissolved into thin air. I tightened my jaw until it started to hurt. Had he meant to do that or was it just casual, involuntary?
"The bell's about to ring," I stood abruptly and pulled my hand away before the dizziness could get too strong. As if on cue, the clear sound rang through the building, signaling the end of free period and the beginning of the next. I didn't wait for him to follow me out the door, I couldn't. One more look at him, and I'd probably say or do something really stupid.
The walk to art was silent between the two of us. I had to keep my mind on something, anything, so that Jasper wouldn't sense the way I'm feeling. I thought about Deborah, and how persnickety she gets about me keeping a drink on the desk at work, then about the angry visitor that insisted his cousin was a patient in the hospital after we'd triple checked the current records and hadn't found anyone with the name they'd given. I thought about Paris and croissants and Bethany and living together in Auburn until I was confident that Jasper'd been getting a confusing mixture of mood waves from my direction. I don't let him carry my bag or even give him so much as a side glance in the hallway. He's only there to make sure Matt, the cretin that he is, leaves me alone.
☽●☾
"Are you feeling okay?"
Angela finds me at my locker on the way to my last class and props herself beside the open door. I was not feeling okay in the slightest. The headache that I had thought was a result of mood control practice never went away; instead, it continued to grow exponentially worse to the point that I popped a few Excedrin in hopes of pain relief, but they barely touched it. The white school lights and sounds of lockers slamming weren't exactly helping either.
"Yeah, just a headache. Why?
"Your cheeks are pretty red. I thought it was a sunburn, but then I realized you've got more of a tan going on. Are you sure you feel okay?"
The pain had started to radiate down my neck, which was concerning, but I only had an hour left. Surely I could make it through and then take a nice long nap to sleep it off.
"Positive. Just stressed about AP exams coming up."
While calculus was the one class I struggled with most, it didn't mean the rest of my end of year tests would be a walk in the park either. I still needed to study for those equally as much as the former.
Too stressed, just need to relax, I repeated to myself on the way down the hall. At least I wasn't the only one not feeling well. Edward had sulked from class to class like a puppy dog that'd been kicked around, even refusing to talk much with Alice. Some evil part of me took delight in the fact that her absence was bothering him so much. She and I weren't close, but from what I knew about his abandonment of her, it was poetic justice that he was miserable.
And speaking of poetry, English, which had been one of my favorite subjects because of all of the literature, was a struggle. As if the headache wasn't enough, Matthew was keeping up his whole staring thing. I tried to keep my head down and focus on the material, but when Mrs. Wallace asked me what the color of the flowers in the poem was supposed to symbolize, I completely drew a blank and had to answer with an "I don't know," something I tried to never do. Half way through the hour, as we were supposed to be discussing the actions of a minor character, a very cold finger poked me hard between my shoulder blades.
"What's the matter with you, Collins?"
"Nothing," I muttered to Jasper. My partner, Melinda, kept talking to the boy in front of her, apparently ready to be done with our analysis.
"Bullshit, you know I can feel it, too."
"Headache," was all I replied. And it still hadn't gotten any better by the time the bell rang for the end of school, but at least I'd get to go home.
"Can you call Carlisle and let him know I won't be coming in? My head is killing me," I said as we walked through the parking lot to Jasper's bike. Even the overcast sky hurt my eyes as if it were a clear, sunny day.
"Yeah, sure."
I didn't protest the ride this time, didn't hesitate to hold onto Jasper as we whipped out of the lot and onto the main road. I just laid my head against his shoulder, closed my eyes, and tried my hardest to block the noise of the motor out.
At the door, I fumbled with my keys like the girl in the horror movie that ends up dying because she's too slow and the masked killer catches up and stabs her to death. I just wanted to go to bed.
"Collins, look at me," Jasper placed a finger under my chin, turning my head to the left and right. "Your face is super flushed, and you don't look well. I know you don't feel well."
The sound of his voice was low and smooth, the only thing that didn't make my headache-turned-migraine any worse.
"I'll be fine," I insisted. "I just need a nap. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
He opened his mouth as if to say something else, then closed it, let out an exasperated sigh, and headed back down the steps.
I barely took the time to change into an old t-shirt and gym shorts that practically swallowed me, took two more pills, and snuggled under the covers. All I needed was a nice, long nap to sleep off the pain.