The storytelling turn by the campfire had passed on to Sarah, who gave a surprisingly gruesome presentation about an undead axe murderer that roamed the dark forests of England, probably even right here in Kent.
"Alright, that's it. I want to go to bed, but I do not dare to go alone after that..." Amanda grimaced when it was close to midnight. "Olly, could you please come with me?"
"Sure, I'm getting rather tired as well..." He yawned and stood up. "Goodnight everybody!"
"Goodnight!" Charlotte and the rest hooted back at them. "Perhaps we should go home, too?"
"Why not..." Jack replied, a bit dryly.
"Wait a minute, I am just being very curious..." Miles began and had yet another sip of his ale, while Geoffrey thought to himself that he indeed seemed to be curious about a lot of things nowadays. "Are you like... Not sleeping with each other at all, or how does your thing work out?" He wondered, clearly emboldened by all the alcohol.
"I feel very sorry for your future wife, Miles, if you honestly think that intercourse is the only way to do it." Charlotte snapped sharply back at him and Jack blushed severely, as well as David and Sarah, while Amelia and Geoffrey looked a bit more intrigued than awkward.
"I do know that there are other ways, thank you very much." Miles replied with a feigned smile to his sister. "So, you are just... Living like a couple of sapphic ladies then?"
"Goodnight, Miles." Charlotte snarled. "And goodnight to everyone else, too..." She muttered, before disappearing into the darkness with Jack.
"That was a bit unnecessary." Geoffrey pointed out to Miles.
"I simply wanted to know how they do it!" Miles protested, while Amelia thought that they behaved like an old married couple, the nicer one scolding the ruder and grumpier one.
"Hey, Augie went back to the house and... Sorry, I did not mean to startle you!" Eddie smirked, when he had suddenly appeared into the light of the fire and made everyone wince, probably thinking that he was the horrendous axe murderer. "Davey, I tried talking to your brother, but I think I might have just pissed him off more and now he marched up to the house... He is also quite drunk and high, could you go and see that he is alright?" He asked in a slightly worried tone.
"Of course. Goodnight everybody." David bowed politely and cast one more look at Sarah before leaving towards the house. Amelia immediately realised that her moment had come.
"Ah, I'm so terribly tired and we have to get up early with Lavender tomorrow...!" She exclaimed with a long yawn. "I am so sorry, Miss Sarah, but you cannot stay here any longer either, not without a chaperone... I am the only married woman around here." She stated with what was supposed to be an apologetic voice, fighting the urge to wink her eye at Geoffrey.
"Oh, of course... What a pity, I would have liked to stay out a bit longer, but I do of course understand that you are tired, being with child and all." Sarah replied somewhat melancholically.
"I can stay up a while longer with you. Surely I can be a chaperone, too, since I am a married man!" Eddie smiled, but grimaced when Amelia suddenly stepped hard on his toe.
"No, darling, you cannot. It's your turn to wake up with Lavvie, remember?" She said sternly with a meaningful look and it took a while before Eddie's eyes lit up with understanding.
"Ooh, yes...! I forgot about that entirely." He blurted out, glancing at Geoffrey and Miles.
"Come, Miss Sarah, it is my duty as the future viscountess to escort you safely back to your room." Amelia said with an exceedingly friendly smile towards the girl and offered her an elegant arm.
"Goodnight, see that the fire has died out before you leave!" Eddie hooted over his shoulder to Miles and Geoffrey, before following the ladies up to the house. Geoffrey suddenly realised that they were indeed the only ones around, even the servants had gone to bed already. He cleared his throat a bit nervously, feeling that the effect of whatever he had smoked earlier was wearing off and he was no longer feeling as invincible as before.
"Do you want something more to eat?" Miles asked in a carefree tone. "Although, you already had like... Six or seven sausages." He teased and glanced amusedly at Geoffrey from the corner of his eye. Even after Oliver had left, Miles had not moved that far away from Geoffrey on the log.
"Do not mock me, the joint made me really hungry..." He smirked, reddening slightly.
"Yes, it does that..." Miles chuckled and tossed another piece of wood into the fire while Geoffrey gulped down his ale, but did not find the courage to ask Miles about the kiss at the bottom of his glass, as he had hoped.
"This was a nice tradition. I have apparently managed to miss it the previous years..." He said instead, staring into the dancing flames. "Don't you think it is nice?"
"It is alright." Miles agreed, but shot a worried look at Geoffrey's rolled up sleeves that revealed his badly burned lower arms. "You did burn yourself, like I said you would."
"Nah, it does not matter..." Geoffrey belittled, though both his arms, neck and face actually felt like they were on fire, but this moment felt too precious to be worrying about it.
"The housekeeper makes a good lotion that helps with burnt skin. I can go and get it for you if –" Miles began, but paused when Geoffrey suddenly leaned his head against his shoulder. "You want..." He finished slowly, but did not move away, even if Geoffrey had feared that.
"I'm just fine here, thank you..." Geoffrey almost whispered, tensed up over what would happen next, then turning even more tense when he felt Miles burrow his face into his hair.
"Geoff, I..." Miles inhaled deeply and brushed his nose softly against Geoffrey's head. The pleasant scent of smoke had got stuck into his blonde hair, reminding Miles of all the times they had gone hunting and camping in the woods with his family when he was younger.
"Yes...?" Geoffrey breathed out, waiting for Miles to maybe wrap his arms around him or at least finally give him an explanation over what the hell was going on.
"I should get married to that Cranleigh girl." Miles said instead, without any warning.
"What...?" Geoffrey blurted out, straightened his back and gawked at Miles, who quickly looked away and pinned his eyes on the fire instead.
"I... I think that is the best option for everyone... Considering the... The situation we have found ourselves in..." Miles stuttered in an uncharacteristically insecure way.
"And what situation is that?" Geoffrey enquired sharply, still looking sternly at Miles.
"You... You know what that situation is..." Miles replied silently and glanced quickly at him.
"I think I do, but I want you to say it." Geoffrey insisted, but Miles just kept staring in front of himself for a long while, before slowly shaking his head, unable to look at the other man. "Fine!" Geoffrey snapped and stood up, realising he was more drunk than he had thought. "Fine. Screw this, screw you Miles and all of this... This situation. Best of luck with wooing your sweet Miss Cranleigh!" He spat out and staggered back to the house, leaving Miles alone by the fire.
***
After a couple of hours Geoffrey was still laying in his bed on his fluffy pillows, sweating though he was topless and unable to catch any sleep. The ale had made his already turmoiled mind spin around even faster and he felt like he was aboard a ship on a stormy sea, instead of a large comfortable guest bed at Aubrey Hall. It had to stop, not just the spinning, but also the thing that was causing it. The goddamned "situation" with his best friend.
Miles had not even been able to say it out loud, to put into words what it was that was happening between the two of them, so therefore it would never be reality. It would never be more than long looks passing between them during songs about lovers, never more than soft discreet touches and goofing around with each other while being intoxicated, so what was the point of it all?
Geoffrey cursed himself for having let Miles slither right back into his heart, even deeper into it than he had been before he left for Vienna. A bitter tear ran down his cheek and he wiped it frustratedly away, regretting his actions immediately when he scraped his fingers against his painfully burnt skin. Just when he thought that things could not get any worse, there was a knock on the door.
"Go away, Amelia, I am not in the mood to talk with you...!!" He yelled loudly from the bed.
"It's me." Miles replied through the door. Geoffrey's entire body immediately clenched up with excitement, despite having just been cursing both himself and Miles down to the lowest layers of hell. "Please, let me in, Geoff..." He pleaded and knocked again. Geoffrey jolted up from the bed and snatched a white undershirt that was hanging on the back of his chair. His trousers were luckily still on him, but he did not have time to button up the shirt properly before opening the door for Miles, if the man was forced to wait for too long he might change his mind and leave.
"What do you want?" He asked sourly. "I believe Miss Cranleigh's bedroom is three doors down that way." Geoffrey pointed out, glaring at Miles through the now half open door.
"I know, I am not here for her..." Miles muttered a bit ashamedly and stared at his toes. "I came to give you this lotion that I talked about, for your burnt skin."
"Thanks." Geoffrey grunted and took the glass bottle from him.
"Wait..." Miles breathed out and stopped the door with his arm when Geoffrey was about to shut it in his face. "Just wait, please... I... I need some time to figure this thing out..."
"This 'thing'? This 'situation'? So many names for such a simple issue." Geoffrey stated quite coldly, feeling surprisingly good about for once being the one in charge, instead of Miles.
"It is not simple..." Miles said silently and cast a quick look at Geoffrey, such a miserable look that it made Geoffrey feel terribly sad for him – and also feel like he no longer was in such an advantageous position as before. He took a deep sigh before opening the door entirely.
"Do you want to come inside and try to figure it out together?" He asked, so Miles nodded and sat down on his bed, like Amelia usually did. Geoffrey lit up the candelabra on his desk and slumped down in his chair, studying Miles while spinning the lotion bottle around in his hands a bit nervously. Miles was staring at his own hands, looking like a beaten dog.
"I do not want to marry her, that Cranleigh girl..." He admitted after a long silence.
"Why not? She is pretty, interested in horses and apparently does not shy away from a social evening with the Bridgertons." Geoffrey commented venomously, but Miles just shook his head again, still staring at his hands that were lying limply on his lap. Geoffrey took another deep sigh and put the lotion bottle on the desk, marched up to the drink table and poured Miles a large glass of gin, which he gratefully took and wolfed down with one long gulp. "So, why do you not want to marry Miss Cranleigh?" Geoffrey asked again, hoping that Miles could finally manage to get the words out after receiving some liquid encouragement.
"I do not feel anything towards her..." Miles said slowly and silently.
"What do you feel then? And for whom?" Geoffrey challenged him, still standing by the desk.
"I... I do not want to talk about it..." Miles wheezed out.
"Well, I do." Geoffrey declared and poured himself a smaller glass of gin, which he too gulped down with one swallow. "I want to talk about what happened at the stables."
"With the enormous rat that attacked us...?" Miles smirked slightly and cast a blamelessly boyish look at Geoffrey, who had sat down in his chair by the desk again.
"No, after that." Geoffrey growled, but the corner of his lip twitched a bit.
"When the foal was born?" Miles asked innocently.
"No... Just before that." Geoffrey sighed.
"Aaaah, you mean when we kissed, you want to talk about that..." Miles acted surprised with a grin and Geoffrey looked at him in a part amused, part very unamused way.
"Yes, exactly... When you kissed me." He specified.
"Did you not like it?" Miles wondered, still with an irritatingly innocent tone.
"I did not say that." Geoffrey replied enigmatically.
"What is there to talk about, then?" Miles asked and dared to look into Geoffrey's eyes again.
"Why did you do it? You have been acting like this ever since you found out about my... Deviation." Geoffrey began, quite arduously. "You... You give me these longing looks, you touch me, you... You kissed me... Why? Do you feel sorry for me? Or do you just enjoy teasing me or tormenting me, as some sort of punishment when I did not reply to your letters?" He asked, more and more aggravated, suddenly feeling like he needed to have something to do with his hands, so he screwed up the bottle of lotion and started to rub it forcefully into his skin, before hissing out of pain and shaking his aching and blistering arm in the air.
"No, nothing like that." Miles replied firmly, looking at Geoffrey's painful attempt with an uncomfortable expression. "You should not rub it in so hard..." He said in a gentle tone. "Please, come here with it." He requested, even more softly.
"With the lotion?" Geoffrey wondered and Miles nodded. For a moment, Geoffrey looked at him somewhat suspiciously and contemplatively, before standing up and walking over to the bed. Miles reached out his hand, so Geoffrey gave him the bottle and sat down a good bit away from him.
"Closer." Miles urged and Geoffrey was too tired, too drunk and too overwhelmed about everything to even feel nervous, once he scooched closer to him. "See, nice and easy, like this..." Miles said, sounding as calm as Geoffrey felt at the moment, even though the man of his dreams had just taken his arm in his warm hands and was gently spreading lotion on it.
"How do you even know about this? It's not like you get burned in the sun..." Geoffrey muttered, realising that he should probably be feeling naked and vulnerable sitting there in his unbuttoned shirt while Miles still had his indigo waistcoat over his white undershirt, but somehow he did not. Meanwhile, Miles had started to apply the wonderfully cooling lotion on Geoffrey's other arm.
"My complexion is not like some armour, I can get burned, too..." He chuckled, making Geoffrey glance discreetly at his beautiful skin that seemed to turn into an even deeper shade of bronze in the summers. "And the horses that have white muzzles tend to get burned by the sun if you do not daub them with lotion, like this." Miles demonstrated and smeared some of it on Geoffrey's nose and cheeks, smiling in an adorably fond way that made Geoffrey's stomach flip a somersault.
"Hey..." He said softly while Miles was deeply focused on spreading out the lotion on every inch of the red skin on his face. Miles focused his eyes on Geoffrey's for a moment and looked inquiring, but did not stop his careful work. "Why do they call you Mi-Mi?"
"Because of Lily..." Miles sighed deeply and swiped away Geoffrey's blonde curls from his forehead to be able to apply the lotion all the way up to his hairline. "She could not say my name when she was learning to talk back in the days, so she called me 'Mi-Mi' instead and it stuck with the family like glue, unfortunately..."
"That's sweet..." Geoffrey smiled. "Can I call you Mi-Mi?"
"Absolutely not." Miles replied sternly and lifted up Geoffrey's chin to be able to smear the lotion on his neck and throat too. "But she was indeed sweet, Lily. I was seven or probably eight years old and she kept running after me through the house with her arms wide open, screaming 'Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi'..." He smirked as he observantly studied his own fingers while they worked their way down towards Geoffrey's chest, like he was sculpting a statue or painting some masterpiece, instead of just spreading lotion on another human being. Miles was about to stop where the red skin ended just below the collarbones, but he suddenly felt Geoffrey's elevated heartbeat through his chest and kept holding his hand flat out there for a moment. He could feel the beat getting faster underneath his hand when Geoffrey realised what he was doing.
It was certainly a heady thing for Miles, to feel another person's heartbeat and let it sink in that they too were living, breathing and experiencing the same things in this same moment. Miles' own heart was beginning to pound harder as well and his breathing grew heavier while he was gathering up the courage to look up into Geoffrey's eyes, instead of staring at his own hand on Geoffrey's partly bare chest. When he finally did look up, Geoffrey was gazing straight back at him, quickly shying away though, but slowly turning his eyes back up again.
"I... I do not want to be just your experiment on some strange curiosity voyage, Miles..." He exhaled and glanced down again at the hand on his chest. "I cannot be that, not with you..."
"You are not... An experiment." Miles breathed out and slid his hand up to the back of Geoffrey's neck, like he had done the last time they kissed. Geoffrey's stomach did not somersault and neither did it get filled by only butterflies, instead an entire jungle with wild beasts was suddenly crammed up in there. Miles pulled their heads gently closer until their noses brushed against each other and their foreheads were pressed together. Geoffrey could already feel Miles' hot breath on his own parted lips when... There was all of a sudden a knock on the door and they quickly broke free from each other like startled animals.
"Geoff, are you still awake?" Amelia hooted. "I just wanted to make sure you're fine!"
"Argh, Jesus Christ..." Geoffrey sighed ashamedly and glanced at the baffled Miles next to him on the bed. "I am fine, but I am already asleep! Let's talk in the morning!" He yelled with a grimace.
"Are you sure?" Amelia replied through the door.
"Yes, please go away...!!" He yelped quite sternly and they both listened with Miles in tense silence for her footsteps to recede and finally die out in the corridor.
"So... She knows about you." Miles deduced and surprisingly enough did not march away from the room, but stretched out on his back on Geoffrey's bed with a reproachful look.
"What do you mean...?" Geoffrey put on a similar innocent act as Miles had earlier.
"Why would she otherwise be so interested in checking in on your well-being, in the middle of the night?" Miles pointed out sharply and fluffed up a pillow behind his neck.
"Oh, so there is nothing else that could possibly be interesting about me, apart from my sexual orientation?" Geoffrey asked with an offended huff, but finally gave out a deep sigh when Miles kept staring accusingly at him from the other end of the bed. "Alright, alright... She found out about it, after our engagement ended..." He admitted. "We've been friends since that."
"Did you tell her about the kiss?" Miles enquired distrustfully, then turned to lay on his side and propped himself up with one arm like some majestic Roman emperor.
"No...!" Geoffrey lied. "Of course not." He added, when Miles still looked suspicious.
"Good." He finally accepted the claim. "You should not tell anyone about it."
"Because you are ashamed of it...?" Geoffrey breathed out. "Ashamed of me...?"
"No, stop putting words in my mouth..." Miles sighed and rolled around on his back, staring slightly annoyedly at the ceiling. "Because the fewer people know about you, the safer you are, Geoff... That is important." He continued slowly and glanced at Geoffrey again.
"Oh..." Geoffrey blurted out and stirred a little where he sat. "What about you?"
"Me? I do not matter, as long as you are safe." Miles stated determinedly. "I am just a second son, always second in everything and in everyone's minds. They do not care about me."
"But... I care about you. To me, you always come first... You are the first for me in everything, Miles." Geoffrey said and astonished even himself with his honesty. Miles just blinked his eyes while gazing at him from where he lay, so Geoffrey took advantage of his momentary shock and lay down next to him, before he would get spooked and leave the room. Without saying a word, Miles turned on his side to face him on the bed.
"I... I am...?" He finally wheezed out and Geoffrey nodded, looking him in the eyes.
"Well, maybe tied for first place with my daughter, but definitely the first still..." Geoffrey added with a fond smirk and Miles smiled equally fondly back at him. Then he took Geoffrey's left hand in his and realised that he was not wearing his wedding ring, but Miles did not say anything. Instead, he inched even closer to him on the bed.
"You always come first to me too..." Miles finally hummed, let go of Geoffrey's hand and ran his fingertips along his jawline. "Maybe tied for first place with the horses..." He smirked lopsidedly.
"I can live with that..." Geoffrey chuckled, but his face grew more serious again when Miles continued to run his fingertips softly all over his face. Over his nose, his blonde eyebrows and at last over his lips, admiring it all like he was seeing him for the first time, or as if he had been blind all these years they had been friends and had now got his sight back.
Meanwhile, Geoffrey thought about a lot of things. He thought about telling Miles of his true feelings towards him, he thought about reaching out with his hand and touching his handsome face too, he thought about kissing him again, because that was definitely about to happen just before Amelia's most unfortunate interruption.
Instead, he decided to close his eyes and focus entirely with all of his senses on Miles' featherlike fingertips, which had now found their way down to his chest again. Somewhere at the height of Geoffrey's lowest ribs Miles' fingers stopped and travelled up again, this time via the back of his neck up to his hair.
"I honestly think that you have no idea of how gorgeous you are, Geoffrey Dorset. Otherwise, you would be the most arrogant man in the world..." Miles suddenly said with a husky voice and made Geoffrey immediately open up his eyes with surprise. But, he did not get a chance to reply – not that he even would have managed to say anything in reply to that – because Miles had now sunk both of his hands deep into his thick blonde hair and pressed his lips firmly against Geoffrey's.
Miles was about to back away right after he had done it, probably fearing that he had crossed some line by not asking for permission this time, but Geoffrey quickly snapped out of his shock and wrapped his arms around Miles, pulling their bodies closer until they were tightly against each other and replied eagerly to his kiss. Miles gasped when he suddenly felt like his innards had sprung into action like a steam engine that had been laying around cold and unused all his life, but now Geoffrey's lips, body and touch was feeding tons of coal into his inner furnace, making everything move and hiss inside him, while the pressure was certainly building up, too. He blinked his eyes a few times in surprise and looked deep into Geoffrey's, trying to figure out if he could have possibly felt the same.
"What is it...?" Geoffrey exhaled and studied Miles' nearby face a bit worriedly.
"Nothing, I just... Have not felt like this... Before..." He replied slowly in what was almost a whisper, trying hard to find the words describing how he had felt. "Like... Something... New just woke up, deep inside of me..." He said a bit hesitantly and looked down on his chest where Geoffrey's fingers had apparently been in the midst of unbuttoning his waistcoat.
"Is this alright...?" Geoffrey asked cautiously. "I feel a bit underdressed, compared to you..."
"Yes, it is alright, but... Do not take anything else off, not just yet... Alright...?" Miles breathed out.
"Trust me, I would not dare to..." Geoffrey flashed an awkward smile at him, thinking that he honestly was on the very brink of his own sanity at the moment due to kissing Miles, feeling his body against his own and remembering how his sweaty upper body had looked like on the hay field. Thus, Geoffrey could not even allow himself to comprehend that there might be something below Miles' waist, otherwise he would surely have got some sort of nervous breakdown. Instead, he focused on unbuttoning Miles' waistcoat, which he wriggled out of once Geoffrey was done. "Can I open your shirt...?" He felt like he needed to ask too, but Miles just hummed in agreement, so Geoffrey continued with that, until he could place his hand on Miles' bare skin, just above his heart, like he had done to him earlier.
Geoffrey pressed his forehead and nose softly against Miles' and almost stopped breathing when he felt his racing heartbeat against the palm of his hand. "I have never... Felt like this before, either..." He wheezed out and pulled away from Miles' face just a little bit, so he was able to look him deep in the eyes.
Miles stared boldly back at him and felt like he could in fact see the same furnace in Geoffrey's eyes, the one which was roaring inside of himself at the moment. In reality, it was probably just the light from the candelabra, Miles tried to appeal to the last crumb of common sense left in his body. All his life, Miles had been able to trust that common sense, his sharp wits and practical mindset, but now Geoffrey was shattering every bit of his previously so controlled world where all emotions had been quite subdued.
"You are a very dangerous man, oh mighty sausage assassin..." Miles murmured with a smirk and placed his hand on Geoffrey's cheek, caressing with his thumb the skin that was much more rough than a woman's and most likely had not been shaved in a day or two, but felt wonderful nevertheless. Geoffrey chuckled, smiled broadly back at him and began to draw circles on Miles' chest with his fingertips. In return, Miles purred contentedly like a housecat and burrowed his face against the sensitive skin of Geoffrey's neck, tickling him with his nose and sharp breath. "You do not smell like a woman..." Miles commented and inhaled deeply.
"Does that bother you...?" Geoffrey muttered into his wavy black hair. When Miles looked up at him again, Geoffrey was able to brush away his dark locks from his face, like he had always dreamt of doing. Miles just smirked at him again, as if Geoffrey had said something silly.
"Not at all." He stated with unquestionable certainty and could no longer restrain his overpowering urge to kiss Geoffrey again, so he did, for a certainly long time, slowly with relish and exploration, until they were both out of breath and Miles' inner steam engine was about to seriously overheat and tear up from its joints. "Oh, whoa..." He breathed out and rolled over on his back, trying to calm down both his wild respiration and painfully throbbing groyne. Geoffrey was still laying on top of Miles' left arm and looked at him a bit curiously with a slight smirk.
"Are you alright...?" Geoffrey enquired and kissed him on his shoulder, where his shirt had slid off a little. Miles quickly grabbed a pillow and hid his evident arousement underneath it, thinking that Geoffrey must obviously have understood what was happening, but he was apparently being polite enough not to say anything.
In all honesty, Miles did not even know why he was feeling so ashamed, surely Geoffrey would only have been pleased if he had told him the truth... The truth, that not even the most competent professional women had ever made him ignite like this, and just by kissing him, which was even more remarkable. Miles had always felt like kissing was quite the useless undertaking, when you could just get down to the actual business.
But then again, he had never wanted to be together with some occasional prostitute like he now wanted to be with Geoffrey. All the time, everywhere, as close to him as possible. Miles did not yet understand what it all meant and how Geoffrey could have this effect on his body, but he was quite sure it had something to do with the fact that he truly cared for Geoffrey, unlike he had for the prostitutes.
"I just... Need a moment..." Miles wheezed out. When he at last felt a little less throbbing downstairs, he wrapped his arms around Geoffrey again and held him tightly against his side, giving him a few more soft little kisses. And a couple of more, just to be sure that he did not even for a moment forget how heavenly his lips felt like. "Can I stay the night here, with you...?" Miles asked a bit warily when he noticed that the candles had almost burned out in the candelabra on the desk. This time it was Geoffrey who looked at Miles somewhat amusedly, like he had asked a really silly question with an answer that should be self-evident.
"Nothing would make me happier..." Geoffrey murmured with a fond smile and rubbed his nose gently against Miles' before kissing him again. "And the lotion really helped, my skin does not even hurt anymore. Everything is just perfect..." He breathed out, then leaned his head against Miles' chest and curled up snuggly underneath his arm, which was still wrapped tightly around Geoffrey. Miles planted a couple of more kisses on top of Geoffrey's head with a blissful smile, thinking that everything was indeed just perfect right now.
"Good..." He hummed, ran his fingers through Geoffrey's flaxen hair and kept caressing it affectionately, drowsing in and out of sleep while the candles slowly burned out.