Nesta
GWYN
That was what the sign up sheet had red last night, just one name in all capital letters. Bold and unflinching, a vow.
Which is why I was standing here on the rooftop, flushed cheeks and shaking hands as I waited for her to show up. Cassian was standing next to me, the heat from his body the only fight against the cool autumn wind.
I told myself that was the only reason I was standing so close to him.
It wasn't entirely true.
"Stop fidgeting." He grumbled, "You're making me nervous."
"Get over it." I hissed in response.
Cassian stepped behind me, a hand slipping around my waist as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Being mean won't make what happened last night go away."
I chill ran up my spine that wasn't from the cold as memories flashed in my head. His large hands running down my skin, his moans in my ear, his lips on my neck, the pleasure he wrought from me like it was breathing- and the deflation I felt as he got up and left afterwards.
"I hope you enjoyed it, because it won't be happening again." I snapped, hating how breathy my voice had gotten.
That's what I had said last time, and the time before that too.
"We'll see." He said, his voice darkening, "At least you're squirming for a different reason now."
"I hate you." I forced a mask of composure on my face, betrayed by the burning of my cheeks.
A low, arrogant chuckle rang in my ears at the same moment that Gwyn appeared in the archway of the stairs, "Liar."
I shook him off, refocusing on Gwyn's wide teal eyes and the way the sunlight glinted off of her copper hair. Strands of gold and auburn combined together, hanging in perfect curls against her robes. I could practically smell the fear rolling off of her as her eyes darted towards the sky.
Was this the first time that the priestess had managed to go outside since she arrived here?
Something about her fear unnerved me, gave me pause in the even strides I was making. Not because I was made uncomfortable by it... but rather because I did not know how to fix it.
And I realized at that moment that I wanted to fix it.
"I realized on the walk up here that I don't have proper clothing."
What was the right thing to say? To do?
What would Leur say?
"No worries." Cassian cut in with the same warmth his sister would have, "It won't matter much for a while."
Gwyn offered him a shy smile, and I turned to her. At minimum, this was something I could fix, even if I had to beg Leur to help me.
"We can have Leur make you some." I told Gwyn.
"I can find a way to pay for them if-"
"Don't worry about that." I said.
Gwyn's hair ruffled as she shook her head, "I can't accept-"
"Think of it as a thank you." Was all I could manage to say.
I doubted that Leur would let me pay for them regardless. Even then, I paid for anything I needed with her and Azriel's tab these days. Which wasn't much, perhaps just a few toiletries and entrance into music halls. I didn't know if they didn't care or simply had so much money that they didn't notice- but it was what she had told me to do.
"Does she really make all of your clothes?" Gwyn blinked at me like I held the world on a string.
"I mean... not all of them." I motioned down at the leathers I wore, a pair she had made when I complained of some mornings being too cold for typical leathers, embroidered with silver flowers and made of thicker, warmer material, "She did make these though."
"They're beautiful." Gwyn complimented, "People say her mother was a seamstress. Even now, people talk about how stunning her clothes were."
I thought back to that sewing room, to the dress on that mannequin, to the dresses I had seen in Feyre's closet that she told me were handmade by Rhysand and Leur's mother.
"Seems that the gift is inherited then." I said, "Come on, Cassian will get grumpy if we don't start our stretching."
I needed a cover for the pang of jealousy that went through me at the thought of having the type of mother that hand-sewed me dresses and doted on me. It would do me no good, not when my own mother was long dead and I was well aware that Leur hadn't had some perfect childhood. Maybe it was like a karmic debt, being rewarded with that type of mother in payment for the father she was cursed with having.
"Stretching?" Gwyn's arched bows furrowed.
"The first day will all be stretching and feet." I said.
"Feet?"
I let out a chuckle, linking my arm with hers and walking over to where Cassian was setting up the mats, "You'll see."
-
Gwyn was a natural at this, in a way that nearly nerved to make me jealous. She claimed she was just naturally flexible, a nymph ancestry making it so that her bones and tendons were more freely movable. She took well to the stretching, impressed Cassian with naturally good balance, and then departed for the day with one last glimpse up at the sunny sky.
"Hey Nes." Cassian called after me as I made a move to head down the stairs. He was rolling the black mats up with large hands, practiced movements as if he had done it everyday of his life.
Odds were, he had.
"I thought I told you not to call me that." I turned, barely able to force vitriol into my voice when I looked at him anymore.
"Stop pretending like you don't like it." He said flippantly, calling me out in an instant, "Anyways, I am going to train the Illyrian women this afternoon. I was wondering if you'd like to come and help me."
"You want me to train with them or to help you train them?" My brows furrowed.
"It's up to you." He shrugged, "Devlon has the groups that have been training longer, so they're working on more advanced things. But after..." His voice trailed off, a shake of his head, "There was a lot of females who just signed up, and I'm going to start the basics with them. After seeing how you were with Gwyn today, I thought you might like to help."
I cocked my head at him, "After what?"
"Leur didn't tell you?" He frowned, setting down the mats and walking towards me.
"I haven't seen her for a few days." I said, "I thought she was on vacation?"
"She is." Cassian said tightly, "The day after we met about the Trove, she went up to Illyria for training and found a woman that had been clipped in the middle of the main square."
Rage boiled within me, "Where were you?"
"Meeting with Eris in the Spring Court." He answered, something like guilt in his stare, "She handled it."
Some sick part of me asked, "How?"
Cassian blinked at me, "She enacted a new law that states that if you are caught performing a clipping, you sacrifice the right to your own wings."
She cut their fucking wings off.
Good.
Why hadn't she told me?
"She can do that? Pass laws?" I tilted my head.
"Rhys changed the laws after she came back to give her and Azriel more jurisdiction than a Prince and Princess would typically have. He has to sign off on it, but yes- technically, she can enact laws." Cassian answered.
I hadn't known that. And I couldn't imagine what it would have been like for those women, seeing one of their own mutilated like that.
Actually, I could.
I had watched Elain go into the Cauldron before me. I saw her screaming, fighting against the soldiers that gripped her, being forced under that misty black waters.
And I remembered, so painfully and so clearly, how it took me a moment to recognize her when they dumped her out.
So, I just nodded at him, "Sure. I'll help."
A few hours later, I was standing in a frozen field on the outskirts of Windhaven, watching as females filtered in and got ready for training. Cassian was at my side, pointing them out, letting me know their names and what their strengths were, when Devlon appeared next to us.
"I was thinking I'd take the western field, with the obstacle course, and you could take this one." He said to Cassian, his voice gruff.
It took the male a moment to notice me standing next to him. I morphed my face into a cold mask, bracing for the glare, the frown, the judgement.
Instead, I received only a polite nod.
"Nesta is going to be helping me from now on." Cassian explained, tension in his shoulders.
Devlon just offered me a smile, a strange thing to see on a male's face that was always scowling, "That's good. They do best when they have another woman to look up to."
Did Leur get into this male's head and completely reinvent his personality?
From the looks of it, Cassian was taken aback by his behavior too. The General seemed like he didn't entirely know what to say, just shaking his head and looking out at the field, "You're putting the others through the course?"
"I'm going to try." Was all he said, "Leur thinks they're ready to give it a go."
I didn't know what they were talking about.
"I'd hesitate to put them in the Blood Rite with the others, though." Cassian frowned.
A small group of females, running lawless in the woods with a bunch of males seemed like a terrifying prospect. I knew exactly what Cassian was concerned about, and from the look on his face- Devlon did too.
Even trained, they'd be targets for something worse than death.
For a moment, the Camp Lord closed his eyes and shook his head in a way that I'd seen Cassian do a million times. I wondered if it was an Illyrian thing, but I had never seen Azriel, Leur, or Rhys do that before. It was a strange quirk, as if they were trying to clear their thoughts physically.
"I had that concern too." Devlon answered, "I plan to speak with Leur about it."
"The Princess." Cassian growled, staring out at the field.
The older male furrowed his brows, "What?"
"Leuruna is your Princess." The General aide of Cassian commanded, "You'll address her as such."
Green eyes blinked a few times before he said, "Right. I apologize."
Cassian turned to speak again, but Devlon had already walked away. Green siphons lit against the white dusting of snow on the ground, hands clenched into fists as his tall form disappeared into the surrounding woods.
"What the hell has gotten into him?" I said, looking up at Cassian.
I found the male at my side watching Devlon leave, a look on his face that I wasn't sure I had ever seen before. Some kind of recognition and some kind of guilt marring his tough features.
I didn't say anything about it, and he never answered me.
Instead, I just looked out at the field, some of the women already stretching for the day. Some were wearing normal plainclothes, cotton shirts, jackets, and corduroys to stave off the cold, some in normal work dresses, and a few in leathers. One caught my eye, a taller Illyrian female clad in leathers with a head of coiled hair, sharp features, and bright hazel eyes.
That wasn't what I noticed first about her though.
Her wings were scarred unlike anything I had ever seen, held at her back differently than the others. She seemed nervous, twisting her hands in front of her as she leaned against the wooden fence.
"What's her name?" I nudged Cassian in his side, discreetly pointing over to where the female was watching us.
It broke him from the daze he had fallen into, his head snapping around as hazel eyes followed my line of sight. A soft smile graced his face as he noticed who I was pointing to.
"That's Emerie."