At the bottom of the stairs, my friends stood waiting, ready to catch me although I showed a smile to comfort them. It crumbled the second I saw them.
Kezi wrapped his arms over my shoulders and trained his skilled eyes over me while Sofia nibbled on her lip on my side. Marlene stood close.
None of them asked me what had happened or what had been said to me and I felt thankful for it. Although I hadn't been sure where the well of emotions had come from, I wasn't ready to recount any of it yet.
Luke, who had apparently refused to get taken care of, paced soundlessly to Sofia's left. I wanted to scold him for waiting, but I was incapable of finding any words or the nerve to joke. All I felt was how his presence, despite how it wore on my heart, soothed the curse and the wounds it had inflicted me with.
The worst was, I could immediately tell by the dull sparkle in his brown eyes that he knew the curse had pushed through. Shame coated my burning cheeks.
"We should get you to the infirmary." Kezi concluded, "I need to look at your injuries."
"It's not that-"
"You have blood all over your back." He suddenly said, voice becoming sharp before he drew a long breath, " I missed your wits, but... Just let me help you. Then argue with me."
Exhaustion wafted over his features and he held me tighter, forming a small smile. I'd never seen him look so beaten. My posture slacked as I closed my mouth and nodded. To offer him that comfort was the least I could do after all they'd been through.
We walked silently through the thriving city, the people a swirl of colors and conversations, until we ended up at a small wooden town house. Kezi instructed us inside and the herbal smell fluttered through my nostrils as he gestured me towards a white linen bed.
I sat down with the girls on either of my side as Kezi rummaged through several drawers and Luke perched onto a bed opposite of me.
Several nymphs came to our aid and immediately provided food and water which we gratefully took, letting them and Kezi work down on me.
The meal was beyond any fitting description- to anyone, it was just bread and a steaming soup, but to my deprived senses it was like a warm hug. Forgetting the pleasure of a good meal was so easy but it was the first thing you learn to miss.
I finished up and let them conclude their examination, patched up with gauze and bandages again, and was given a small vial of nectar.
I couldn't help but keep looking at Luke. They had also fixed him up and he dribbled the same golden liquid down his mouth, trying to hand the empty vial over to Kez after finishing.
"That's weird." Kezi reached out towards Luke's fingers, past the vial, instead grazing the shadowed scars. It made my stomach curdle, "Why isn't it healing?"
"I don't know." Luke shrugged.
"I can try to ask some of the residing nymphs or Chiron how to heal it. Looks pretty nasty. How did you get it?"
It seemed everyone but Kezi had noticed the shift in the air. Luke's eyes danced over to mine for a second and I pulled my hands into tight fists at my side. Sofia noticed and took my fingers into her own, curiosity blinking in her gaze. I escaped both.
"I don't know." Luke repeated and I could hear his crooked grin, "Don't worry. I don't mind the scar."
Kezi's eyes widened, "If you're feeling any amnesia, I have to check your head-"
"Kezi." Marlene warned gently, "Your nervousness is showing. I think that even though they have a lot of explaining to do, they're fine. Okay?"
The blonde narrowed his eyes at all of us but then sighed while rubbing his temples, plopping down beside Luke, "You're right. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry." I mumbled, feeling a clog emerge in my throat. I knew we had been avoiding it for too long now, but I had to acknowledge it, "I can't imagine how it must have been for you to not know what happened to us. I'm the one who's sorry."
"You also have nothing to be sorry about." Luke spoke up. "None of us could have predicted that Zeus would attack you."
I swallowed. Someone had been lying about attacking me in my cabin. Someone had breached the rule of protection within the borders of the camp. But my fathers confused reaction made me reconsider who was truly responsible for that.
If it hadn't been Zeus, then Poseidon remained the only option. I remembered the collective anger and power I had felt, how the curse had been the only thing protecting me from their damnation. The rage whirled up inside of me again like a chain attached to my gut, even though I didn't want any of it.
"Yeah, well I'm the Forbidden Child. If it wasn't for me, neither of us would have been torn down into the Underworld."
He pulled his eyebrows together, "No. The Gods are the issue. You're not responsible for any of this."
I almost laughed, but the sound came out breathless, feeling suffocated underneath the weight of what the Gods had said in my presence. How easy it had been for them to dismiss me, talk over my head about punishment. How even Artemis had forgiven their ignorance.
I had thought it would all be easier- once I forgot my own fears and learned how to fight, I remembered finding unmatched strength. But it was naive to think that escaping my terror would be simple after it had made me into who I was all my life.
"I am. Yes, I may be Hades' mistake, but I still exist. That's the problem. Don't you get that?"
Luke's expression changed, glazing over my pupils as if he could read all their insults and how much it had hurt, despite the deceiving cushion of the wrath I'd invited to help me.
Luke knew right away what I was implying. The guilt crashed down on me like icy waves, worse in the presence of my friends. Marlene would have never gotten hurt by the Sirens. Annabeth would have never had to miss the only family she ever had after Thalia.
I would have never had to deal with being marked as the villain when I was nothing but a girl. None of this would have happened had I never gotten to camp. Had Luke never stumbled upon me.
Perhaps the Underworld and everything that followed had marked me worse than I thought. Without clinging onto the hope of making it home, I felt useless again.
The way Luke looked at me made me sick. I longed for that, for his touch, for his smile. But I knew even that could no longer help me because it was reserved for another girl.
He shook his head, "Whatever they told you up there, it doesn't determine who you are. You shouldn't believe any of it. They don't know you and don't get to make you feel like that. You're still Ava-"
"Am I?"
Luke stopped. His mouth pulled shut and his jaw strained, but there was no anger or frustration near his features. All I could see was defeat and it drove a stake through my heart.
The door creaked open and Chris walked in. His eyes scouted the area before they landed on me, "There you guys are. We've been getting worried."
"Oh." Sofia suddenly breathed out, looking between me and Luke with widened eyes, "I forgot to tell Chiron. We kind of got caught up."
"No worries." Chris replied and reluctantly approached us, "I'll tell him, you can stay here. Are you okay?"
I realized he had asked me and cleared my throat, "Yeah. I'm fine."
"All that lightning had us scared. We wouldn't want to lose you right after getting you back." He pulled an unsure smile, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. I had missed him even though we hadn't talked much in the days after I moved cabins. His comment made me ease up a little.
"Not planning on getting lost again." I smiled.
Chris nodded, "Well, unfortunately I have to be the one to ruin this because Chiron asked me to get you since he wants to talk about what happened."
"Can't they catch a break?" Sofia asked, but I simply patted her arm and moved to get up when Luke stood from the creaking bed first.
For a second, I could still see the world whirl in his brown eyes, the echo of my words, almost feeling sorry now when I knew I shouldn't be.
He tried to put on a smile as he ran a hand through his curls, "Stay. l'll catch Chiron up."
"It's fine."
"You should stay with your friends for a while. He's going to squeeze you empty later anyway." Luke replied, as if he could recall how desperate I had been for them.
I noticed how close we were and took a step away, mindful to stop indulging in the proximity we had learned to banish. I'd have to force myself to keep it once again. All I could do was nod as he walked out after Chris.
The door closed behind him and it took two seconds before everyone stared at me. Kezi frowned, "Rewind. What?"
"The Underworld?" Sofia repeated after me, gaping like a deer in the headlights, "What does that mean? You were actually down there?"
It took me a couple moments of staring at the closed door before I looked at them, exhaled a puff of air, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh, "I wish it was a joke."
I plopped down on the bed again.
"In the Underworld? Because Zeus attacked you?" Sofia said again, not believing me. But I noticed the shift in her expression and how her fingers curled around mine, going from shock to worry.
"So, I know that might have been really traumatic but I think we really need to know." Kezi chuckled.
"It's a long story."
"There's no hurry." Marlene leaned forward and gave me a gentle smile. Her arm placed on mine, "We have time."
And I realized she was right. Through every horror and emotion, I had wished to have them by my side- indulging me in their range of defying opinions and comfort. When the fear had been too great to handle and everything bled away into chaos, my friends were always a constant in my mind.
And after a month of not having time for anything beyond granting our safety, I wanted nothing more than to tell them about it. Because even though I could already feel my heart pounding and the waves
thrash with wild movements, I knew they would ground me.
So I told them. How Luke and I were pulled down into the Underworld because something, even if I was unsure if it had been Zeus, attacked me. Charon. Cerberus.
Lethe and the curse weren't easy to revisit. The wound was still too fresh and violated to make me able to talk without shaking. Tears rolled down my cheeks before I could stop them. My friends were patient and offered me all I needed, giving me the strength to keep going.
I told them about Helen and Chicago, how me and Luke stole a car and then crashed it while fighting Ares' dragon. I left out several details about the motel, but even so my throat had become hoarse from talking without a break.
"That's it." I finished, the weird ring to the silence almost as eerie as my statement, as if it was just some random story. As if there was supposed to be more when my words had been laden with enough burden to last a lifetime.
"Shit." Kezi huffed and shook his head. He had moved from the bed and now sat in front of me on the floor, holding both my hands in his, "That was...worse than anything I could have expected."
"Well, we thought you were dead." Sofia attempted to joke, but her words quivered. She looked at my face and was showered with all kinds of emotions, "I'm so sorry we weren't there. And I know that's not our fault, but you never should have gone through that. I'm so glad you're..."
She was going to say 'okay' but both of us realized that word wasn't fitting. "We're so happy that you're back. It was an awful month without you."
"We missed you." Marlene whispered. She genuinely looked pained and slightly pale, "There wasn't a second during which I didn't think about you. You were never alone even if you thought so. We were always there."
"I wish I was as good as you guys at finding words. Now I can't live up to that." Kezi exhaled. But his humor was uncharacteristically unnatural, almost forced. I squeezed his hand and he squeezed back, "There wasn't a moment which I doubted you would come back. I knew you didn't leave just like that, lighting girl. But I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
I was too overwhelmed to form a coherent response, feeling heat pool in my cheeks and collecting in my gut. Something about being validated touched a soft spot inside of me that I'd protected from everyone but Luke.
The best I could offer was a nod and a wonky smile, trying not to burst into tears again, which was enough for them.
Kezi found some of his humor again to lighten the mood, "I...might have decorated your cabin. Just a little bit. I hope you don't mind."
I laughed, "What did you do?"
"Do you want to know or wait to see it yourself?"
I formed a warm smile that mirrored his, realizing how much this meant to me. Even though I was gone, they hadn't forgotten me. I couldn't wait to come back and paint with him again, "Don't tell me."
"They've all been helping me, actually." Kezi continued, "Like little helper bees. Marlene has been taking care of your plant and Sofia argued with me about any and everything."
"Oh, come on. Not any and-"
"She hated the shade of blue I chose and mixed the color herself. And guess what. It was the exact same as mine."
"No." Sofia cut in, "It wasn't the same."
"I'm the artist. Not you." Kezi rose his brows, "I know colors better than any of you amateurs. You keep to your swords and romance."
Sofia reached out to kick him with her foot, but Kezi snatched it and pulled her down to the ground with a squeak, wrapping her in a playful embrace.
"You're ruining my hair!" Sofia fought, "I don't play around about that. Go on and I'll flip you on your back. Let's see who's laughing then, Griffin."
Kezi grinned and let her go, earning a sharp glare from Sofia as she fixed her hair, but when she turned away she cracked a small smile too. Both me and Marlene couldn't help but smile with them.
Once again, I couldn't believe I had friends, the kind of ones I had only ever dreamed of in the dead of night, when even the stars couldn't suffice to make Quinn feel close. But with all four of us here, the lack of the fifth was too gravitating to ignore.
"What is it?" Marlene asked.
"I...uhm...What about Darrow?"
The mood immediately changed. For a moment, both of the girls glanced at Kezi before they could pull their eyes away. I shifted until my back was straight and tingling with strain.
"He's here." Marlene managed first, "Somewhere. He's been very distant from all of us ever since you went missing."
"We've been trying to talk to him but it feels like there's something off. He's not been himself. We're used to him running off and isolating himself but Darrow has never been this...I don't know." Sofia rubbed her temples, "When he lashed out on you, we were all shocked. He had no right to do that. But the Darrow we know would have never done that. He gets sensitive about loss because-"
"Darrow would never use Quinn or Luke against you, is the point." Marlene interrupted. I realized Sofia was about to talk about Darrow's sister, but none of them knew that he had told me about her.
"Yeah." Sofia noticed the brake she had to put an end to her ramble,"That's not saying that it was okay. But it's not like he ever not talked to us for a whole month. We're worried."
It hurt to know that even though he had abandoned them, they were still trying to find understanding and were willing to find a reason instead of blaming him.
Kezi couldn't even talk, fidgeting with his hands instead and refusing to look up at me apart from a few fleeting glances. Darrow had mentioned to me once that he knew Kezi before camp and how they came here together.
Even as an unlikely duo, they were best friends. Kezi took his distance worse than anyone.
"I'll try to talk to him." I said, "He probably knows I'm back by now."
Marlene sat up, "You don't have to for our sake."
"I want to." I nodded, looking over to Kezi again. His blue eyes could finally meet mine. "He's my friend too. Even if he said some shit which wasn't okay. At the very least, we deserve an explanation."
Kezi nodded half-mindedly and pulled up the corner of his lip, as if in silent thanks. The girls also seemed relieved. Talking to Darrow would be difficult, but nothing compared to what I had gone through and could not drown out how much I'd missed my hotheaded friend.
"We missed you so much." Sofia said again, exchanging the heaviness in the room for another, but we were all breathing easier now. "It still won't get into my head what happened to you."
"Me neither. It still feels like a dream, but I don't know which side of it. Either this is reality or the Underworld is. Does that make sense?"
"I get that." Sofia formed a smile, "At least you weren't alone."
My breaths became uneven at the mention of Luke, never really catching a break from him or what he had called me, even if unintentionally. I couldn't look at him without hearing it.
"So I assume neither of you confessed your feelings?"
Sofia peered up at me and I couldn't hide my shock, along with Marlene, whose eyes widened.The brown haired girl frowned between us and threw her arms over her chest, "Come on. I might be horrible at figuring out my own stuff but I'd have to be an idiot not to see that."
Kezi tilted his head to the side, "See what?"
We all looked at him in disbelief.
"Oh my Gods." Sofia dragged after a moment of staring, then rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"
"Don't make me feel dumb."
"Luke and Ava."
Thoughts rattled in Kezi's mind with an inaudible pace as he gazed between me, my face flushed with a blush, and the girls.
Then his confusion collapsed, "Oh!" Kezi nodded enthusiastically, as if he had known all along, "That's why his heart races every time he looks at you."
My own heart stuttered and I had to seize my jaws shut to prevent it from bobbing open. A couple weeks ago, I might have laughed or brushed it off. Now it only hurt, tearing through the existing wounds I already had.
Nonetheless, they all seemed to realize that it wasn't simply lovestruck embarrassment I fell victim to.
"Joke." Kezi said in a hurry, "No wait, I'm- that was a...bad joke."
Sofia pulled herself out of her smile immediately and put a hand on my knee, "No. Hold on. What is that face about?"
"You guys are terrible at reading the room." Marlene shook her head before either of them could ramble on with apologies. She directed all her attention on me, "If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. But I can tell something happened."
I looked at all three of them and thinned my lips into a narrow line, not wanting to talk about any of it for a moment. It was way too humiliating and stupid.
But I wanted to share anyway because if not them, who else would I have to tell without being judged? I needed to find some steady boulder in the race of my thoughts because I knew I'd never find myself able to form a friendship with Luke again if I couldn't forget it.
And I couldn't lose him.
They already knew I liked him. How obvious must it have been for everyone around us to realize and tell me first. Even Helen had known.
I sighed and stared at my hands, the lightning scar dragging up the skin, "I was going to tell him that I...I like him. After all we've been through, it only felt right. We were watching the stars and I was going to go for it."
My teeth buried inside my lips, "And then he called me Thalia."
The room went silent, the only things I could focus on were my rushing ears and how much more awful it felt to speak it out loud. The pinch that clenched my chest at all times left me breathless.
Then Kezi spluttered, "He said what?"
"I'll kill him." Sofia huffed, her hand tightening around my knee. Marlene reached out to pat her girlfriend's shoulder but she simply pulled away, her soft face contorted with anger, "No, I'm serious. What the fuck is wrong with him? And then he had the nerve to come with us to wait for you?"
I didn't feel up to joining her frustrated rant, as if the confession had made me hollow, "It doesn't matter."
"It does matter." Sofia went on, "You've been through a terrible month with each other. He's a horrible person for making you so attached and showing you so many signals. You don't deserve that."
"That's why you reacted to him that way." Kezi concluded, "Dude, why is everyone projecting their own problems on you? I thought Luke was different from that."
"Have you talked to him about it?" Marlene chimed in.
"No." I replied, "We didn't have the time and I didn't want to, to be honest."
"I think you should do that. I get that you don't want to but it will help. Maybe there's a reason for why he said it."
Sofia narrowed her brows, "Why are you defending him?"
"I'm not defending him." Marlene said softly, "All I'm saying is that he probably didn't mean to hurt you. Luke cares about you. I don't know what could have possibly possessed him to call you 'Thalia', but you should give him a chance to explain."
Her rational advice gave me reassurance but it welled up so much weight inside my stomach that it made me sick. I dropped my head into my hands, "I don't know if I can handle that."
"You don't have to today." Marlene put her hand on my back, "It's probably better to settle first and get some room to breathe and figure out your thoughts. But you don't want to lose him, right?"
"No." I sighed. My eyes stung as I fought my thoughts into loud words, "But I can't...When he looks at me, I wonder if he would rather look at her instead. If I am only her replacement."
"If that's the case, then you at least know where you stand. You can forget him if he's that terrible of a person." Kezi suddenly said, "Or if he's holding a grudge because of what Hades did to Thalia."
My head perked up as he slowed until he completely fell silent, the girls shooting him warning glances a second too late before I caught them. I stared at them, "What?"
The heated discussion between Hades and Zeus came back in flashing segments. How Zeus stared at me with steeled anger and resented my father for something he did to his daughter.
"Let me remind you that you were the one who made me resort to such options to save Thalia." Zeus hissed, "I should kill her to show you my wrath doesn't forgive."
None of them answered me, so I slightly raised my voice, "What are you talking about?"
Marlene cleared her throat, "I don't think it's our place to-"
"Zeus talked about this. Hades did something to Thalia which made him resort to something to help her. But I thought she was dead?" I picked up a quick ramble, "I don't care if it's not your place. Tell me."
"I think she deserves to know." Kezi shrugged, "If Luke is actually mad at her for that."
"He wouldn't." Sofia told him, "He might be a major asshole for what he pulled, but he's a good guy. He'd never punish Ava for that. That's a reach."
"For what?" I hissed, done with being left out of this conversation like a toddler. The anger was good at drowning out my erratic pulse.
The three of them exchanged another glance before Sofia exhaled, "When Luke, Thalia and Annabeth came to camp, they were being followed by Hades' Furies and several hellhounds. Thalia sacrificed herself to buy them time. She...didn't make it."
Aches twisted up my muscles and pressure wrapped around my throat, seizing all the way down into my chest. I cupped a hand over my mouth. Guilt crashed me once again. Luke hadn't told me about this.
"Zeus turned her into the pine tree at the border so she wouldn't die."
I felt like that sentence alone impaled me. I had seen and watched that tree so often because it was mesmerizing how it remained untouched from the elements and radiated with a soul of its own.
I remembered how often I'd see Luke near it. It was Thalia all along.
She had been so close to safety and still didn't make it. Suddenly it made sense why Luke hated my attempts to put my life above his. Why he held on tightly as if it would be the last time, no matter how small the threat.
"Why would Hades do that?" I asked, but knew the answer right away. Forbidden Children, even if I was one of his own, weren't allowed to live. Thalia hadn't been spared any mercy.
Kezi's suggestion hung heavy, like an iron curtain which would slowly suffocate me.
Would Luke project his anger at Hades on me?
The Luke I knew wouldn't do that. His wrath towards the Gods and his father was great, but not greater than his sense of justice. I liked to tell myself that he was the only one capable of separating a child from their godly parent.
"Don't wind yourself up about it. Luke probably didn't tell you because he didn't want to talk about it." Marlene tried.
But the world had tumbled into chaos already. Luke and I had shared a type of vulnerability that made me feel like he shouldn't have kept this from me unless he clung too hard to it.
Days ago I wouldn't have considered Luke capable of breaking my heart unless I had to face rejection. Maybe he did blame me.
Still, I nodded. I didn't want to talk about this anymore. It was something I had to figure out for myself.
I got up, "I'll go and find Chiron." A smile appeared on my lips, "Clear my head."
Marlene raised her brows, "You can't walk out on us after this. We know you."
"I'm fine, really. I'd rather talk to Chiron now than later. I want to get some fresh air." My friends exchanged wary glances but none tried to stop me. I watched them for a moment longer, as if they could vanish like a fever dream, a mere veil which would sweep away and reveal the Underworld again.
But they stayed. All three, smiling crookedly and eased the clutch around my heart.
"We love you." Sofia spluttered. Her voice lowered, "I didn't...get to say that to you before it all happened."
To my surprise, her words drew a laugh out of me. But tears pricked in my eyes as I nodded, "I love you too."
I walked out of the infirmary and took a couple shuddering breaths, the gentle breeze wrapping me with a veil of warmth. My eyes scouted the surrounding houses and I set out into the direction where we had come from, only to barely make it two steps down before Luke emerged from the far shadows.
—
A/N: umm...hello everyone !! guess who's back!! Is anyone even still interested in this book??
I know I have been gone for long but I've officially completed three out of four exams and life has calmed down a bit. I've decided to pick up this story again since I know many of you love it as much as I do. I'll need some time to get back into it, so stay with me as I wiggle myself back into the plot.
and in case any of you are fans of the new challengers movie, you should check out the other story I posted hehe
(wattpad is messing with my stuff so if you see random weird letters in the middle of sentences, I'm sorry. I'm trying to fix that lmao)
love you guys!! ❤️