1. I discovered I have a mild form of epilepsy and you bring on attacks because you make me too excited to be around you.
2. I have a pet dog, he kisses like you, his breath is like yours, he pants like you. I love him dearly but I wouldn't want to marry him. Lets part before this goes any farther.
3. We just grew apart I don't need you anymore.
4. You mean more to me than life itself - but I'm suicidal.
5. I want someone who can buy me a new car.
6. I'm sorry, but there just isn't room in my life right now for both you and my vibrator.
7. You're too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We're the same age? Well, that doesn't work for me, either.
8. My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture.
9. This just isn't for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people I'm single.
10. You talked about the future, and that freaked me out. It makes me sick to think about it.