Post the lunch having a small nap in knott's room, kongpob playing with his phone he heard a knock on door when he opened the door he find no human he look around and down to find a large brown box which is tapped neatly with a card over the box
he picked up reading the label mentioning his name on top of the box to open, once again a long look to entire flat he find no clue, he carried the box inside the room with a sense of thought may be arthit must be the reason, may be? He smiled carefully placing the box on the bed and gets a scissor to open when he opens the box he gasped to see a new set of clothes it was an lemon yellow hoodie with a rainbow logo being small and cute and a blue jean, a small pocket like bag which he untied it! he was lost in shock it was a white Armani brief with blue band he blushed when he looks around and walks out form the room he searches for Arthit he cannot find him anywhere. He gets a message form Arthit "your clothes, get ready for evening date, hope the size fits you"
kongpob rushed back to room and gauzes the clothes box his fingers are trembling as if he touch the cloth it will tare he puffed his cheeks they were new clothes which he never buy for himself, which he could never afford, he is feeling guilty to receive them because in the end of the day he is ready to be apart from Arthit which he don't want to do it!
Being sad at heart he sit to bed and cuddled his knees closer to his chest and looks to the closed window, no! he don't want to leave Arthit he is trying to stay not for Arthit showering him with gifts but the love Arthit holds for him, even after many long years, the boding between them did not fade away, just like him Arthit beholding onto their love and he gets a teary smile but right then he is scared to open up, he don't want to be back to those days where he will left alone and be scared in counting days to live he don't choose to bother Arthit he don't want Arthit to suffer along with him! he is sick! He is not any good enough for Arthit
if he choose to leave Arthit side, Arthit will get a better person more better than him who can take care of the hard working surgeon.
tears streams down he hastily rubs his cheeks, pulling the shirt collar closer to his nostrils he breaths and hugs the shirt close to him, feeling Arthit closer to him, the shirt smells like Arthit and warms him up, he is sobbing up he is getting scared he curled up on bed and letting the tears fall while he hug himself feeling Arthit spooning form behind he closed his eyes letting the tears fall down, what should he do? should he give up! No he cannot! Then how to ease his feelings, he wants Arthit? Yes, he want! No doubt! Yet what is stopping him? Afraid and scared that past will haunt him? Yes he is, he rubbed his unease in chest which is tightening not letting him to breath, why he is suffocating at the thought of leaving Arthit! Should not he be happy? No he never will be happy! But he don't want to spoil Arthit happiness too, Arthit can get over him and be happy with someone
Discerning over and over about his future with Arthit, how long he can keep Arthit happy? He is scared what if one day he leaves Arthit! He don't want Arthit to be left in pain
**
He cannot do this anymore, he will choose to get away from Arthit, It took time for him to get ready for his date, his first date holding the hoodie close to his naked chest he looks down to the one straight long scar and closed his eyes letting the tears fall. He quickly cleaned those tears and put on the hoodie
"..how much time do you need to!!!" the impatient yelling, kongpob chuckled taking a once last look to mirror he hurried his way to the door with thumping heart, he breathes in and out as he unlocks the door
Arthit stands to the opened door he keeps staring besides struggling to say a few words, he just keeps looking to kongpob being dressed up in light yellow colour hoodie and a fitting blue jean he looks like a cute lemon.
kongpob feeling his cheeks and ears creeping with heat he pushed past Arthit shoulder "..hurry up"
Arthit broke from whatever dream he is dreaming he followed kongpob out while kongpob is gasping and controlling his heart Arthit is crisp in a plain night blue and skin tight black jean with white runners and the blue shoe laces were knotted in place the buttoned shirt which fits his abs and chest buttons were open its too intimidating making kongpob immediately felt weak at heart gulping his throat, too intimate that he cannot be standing to his knees
Kongpob secretly cleaned his tears, the sky is dark with grey clouds, its winter, he was thankful for Arthit getting him hoodie he feel warm enough to go on a date with his long term love which he never left him
He looks to his side where Arthit is answering a phone call or might be he is making a reservation in a restaurant whatever it might be he loves to take a continuous staring they were standing outside near the black BMW car he keeps looking to Arthit making reservation and suddenly he felt a protective arm loops around his waist to make sure kongpob is not running away
Pocketing the phone into his jean he looks to kongpob staring to him, Arthit dabs his thumb on lower eye lid, asking kongpob "..are the clothes comfortable," Arthit can read kongpob eyes were swollen from crying
"yes...i am" Kongpob felt stupid, he is getting caught easily, yes he cried a lot, he left away from Arthit arms while Arthit keeps looking to the back of kongpob walking to car, he walks to car while Arthit unlocks the car he hop In and Arthit gets in checking to kongpob placing his seat belt he leaned forward pausing kongpob to breath
"I..I can do it"
Arthit prey away kongpob fingers he gets the belt over kongpob shoulder and drags it to clip over the side he looks to kongpob eyes which are studying Arthit "comfortable,"
Kongpob rolls his eyes besides Arthit start to drive, murmuring ".. I just want to know if you're comfortable or not,"
Kongpob did not speak anything, to improve his mood arthit played soft music, fingers drumming on steering wheel while he drives on occasionally glancing to kongpob who is very much deep in thoughts he took kongpob hand into his giving a warm rub over knuckles ".....what is the thing that keeps you so worried?"
Kongpob denied saying its nothing.
Getting into the restaurant he sits calm next to arthit while Arthit ask for his food choice kongpob did not answer him he just stared and his eyes were speaking volumes which arthit felt ache in chest and worried about what kongpob was undergoing with he just ordered some food, he looks to kongpob who is sitting cute in yellow hoodie "..this colour suits you,"
Kongpob is acting all cold he is behaving like he is not listening
"hello I am talking to you" Arthit said again trying make a small faint smile
Kongpob just sits like a yellow doll he is not listening to Arthit, Arthit worriedly held a hand on kongpob knee, but then again kongpob snaps his hand in cold way, "..don't touch,"
Arthit looks around feeling embarrassed kongpob is behaving as if he was forced for this date he is putting put an act in public so that Arthit will leave him right on the spot
Even kongpob felt hurt to be cold after swating away those fingers he felt hurt with a gulp in dried throat making Arthit embarrassed in public he sips few amount of water to decrease the tension building him and encouraging himself that he can do it
While Arthit stubborn held his hand back on kongpob thigh, kongpob glared between the hand resting on his leg to Arthit eyes. He sees Arthit raising an eyebrow making kongpob gulp more
Kongpob hissed "...don't make me do more,"
The sudden change in kongpob behaviour is noticed by Arthit, Arthit give a stern eye stare and leans into kongpob ear "..don't try to pull something which you cannot"
He gulped and his ear turned red yet he have to do it, he have to prove that he don't love Arthit and have to make Arthit move on
Meanwhile Arthit placed a small box on table, he eyed the small box and back to Arthit face who is playing a small smile saying it's for him
In turn kongpob asked, as if he is not interested to take a look, "what is that?"
"open and see"
Kongpob denies
"kongpob" he pleads
Still no response
"what happen? You don't like the place?"
"I just want to have a quick dinner and go home,"
He is behaving as if he is not intrested to be on date with Arthit, was he doing this on purpose! do he hate Arthit so much that he wants to get away from Arthit, Arthit is beyond hurt now, he could not understand the point of kongpob pushing him away even kongpob recovered and everything is going fine, why kongpob could not love him back? Like he do!
Arthit jaw clenched he opens the box and stubbornly says "..put it on,"
Its an yellow stud matching to kongpob hoodie colour it was small glassy diamond cut yellow stud which is sitting inside the small black box , which is very cute and lovable
Kongpob looks straight saying he not going to accept it "....i don't fall for your luxurious gifts!"
Arthit is turning more stubborn "either you have this or else..."
Kongpob snipes back "or else...what?"
Arthit gulps looking to his surroundings catching attention of couple fighting, kongpob heart beat raised he is telling himself to go on, even he was embarrassed and cannot do this to Arthit but he wants to do it
The food was serving by a waiter and Arthit tells the waiter to have the box and kongpob jaw drops he was speechless he gulps looking to the waiter wai to Arthit and getting away with the box
"how could you?" kongpob face was flustered he sees Arthit glaring him, kongpob was ready to bring out everything he can to make Arthit walk away from him "so, tell me p'Arthit, how long are you planning to continue this drama,"
Arthit gulps repeating "...drama"
The hurt look on Arthit face is trembling kongpob he is inviting something which is inevitable, Kongpob is finding his energy to deal this his fingers clawing on his knee to fight back "...I am telling you I don't want you, still how long are you planning to force me,"
Arthit shakes his head, his voice pained to explain himself then he stayed silent knowing he don't have to explain
Kongpob raises a hand "I did not agree, you forced me,"
Arthit fell into deep hurt, he did not force kongpob, instead he don't even want to pour the water on kongpob he just played along and so he got a chance for asking kongpob on date and kongpob could have denied Arthit don't even plan to pour water on kongpob, hearing the accusations Arthit nod "...lets discuss when we get home, food is getting cold, so let's eat"
Kongpob wants to fight this off right now, but seeing Arthit being calm is railing him up he want shook up Arthit and ask him how much he loves kongpob he is even forgiving him for shouting on him, blaming, accusing him in public
Arthit cuts the steak, places the plate to kongpob, kongpob looks down to his plate and Arthit side profile Arthit is silently eating steak and drinking whine
He completed Eating his steak kongpob excused himself to washroom and Arthit continued to stuff his mouth with food it's been fifteen minutes kongpob came back to see Arthit was not there, he look around only for the waiter to say Arthit paid the bill and left
He runs out the restaurant to see Arthit standing to the car he sprints to him for a second he thought Arthit really left him he started bleeding thinking Arthit left him, seeing Arthit waiting at the car he again breath in and out, he sees Arthit standing to car he is being stern "what is your problem kongpob?" he is asking with strong voice saying he wants to know the answer, to which he sees kongpob walking away
arthit strides ahead hastily grabbing kongpob hand by wrist, kongpob looked around feeling embarrassed they were outside of restaurant foot path with open parking hearing all busy vehicles transport sounds, he wanted to ask arthit to not create scene their! Is not he the one who caused the first hand embarrassment? Is not this the one he wanted so badly at any cost, now facing the reality he lost all his build courage and strength to fight on! When arthit was making a real one asking kongpob to bring it on which he wanted!
"That is what I am asking you too, why don't you let me go..." he yells on calm standing Arthit, his entire figure shook for the force of strength he used to yell on Arthit which is all the love kongpob stored in himself for Arthit he used all energy to shout on his love to get him walk away from him
Arthit felt dizzy from the whine he had and kongpob reached for Arthit elbow "...are you okay?"
the instant worried voice made Arthit chuckle he smirked "..oh yeah, I am so fine after you ruled me out in a public place.." he says as calm as possible, he then again ask giving a certain wink which almost passed shivers to his knees "....you look so hot when you try to be bold,"
"leave...." he snipes
"I don't understand why you try so hard to push me away"
kongpob gulps "because I ..I don't love you,"
Arthit looks to kongpob eyes which are filled with water, he nods in a sad wanting to kick someone so bad when he is about to hug kongpob, but kongpob steps back "don't...."
"need any help," some bystander who is watching the scene came to rescue while kongpob stares between frustrated arthit and the stranger he doubts arthit would definitely break into fight with stranger
Kongpob gave a faint smile saying he is okay and he don't need any help he hurried the stranger to go away before arthit could broke into fight
"shall we go somewhere to talk"
Arthit gave a stern smirk, "is not this you wanted...."
Kongpob denies "there is nothing left to talk, I want you to leave me"
The surrounding people scattered here and there and passing by cars are looking at the couple yelling at each other
Kongpob leaves a shaky breath "lets go home,"
Arthit is hugging him more "sorry,"
"...p'Arthit, lets go home," he sobs "everyone are looking at us, lets go home please,"
Arthit silently leaves the hug holding kongpob hand he pulls him along to the car and opens the door, kongpob, gripping tears in his eyes he gets into the car as Arthit drove away, he could not attempt to pull any more stunts once the crowd gathered
Upon reaching home, kongpob is reluctant to get to home Arthit pulled him into elevator and pressed onto button the door closed while Arthit holding kongpob wrist in a tight grip which he keeps trying to get away
kongpob keeps trying to get his hand form Arthit grip "..please let me go,"
"p'Arthit," he tries to get his hand away but he was dragged In along the hall seeing the guest Arthit halts them and kongpob looks down while knott and another girl stares to Arthit and kongpob hiding to his behind
Arthit gulps "oh..Mari"
Kongpob wants to see who that was but he was too embarrassed to raise his head he was hiding behind Arthit back trying to get his hand out
While knott stands up along with mari, she sees the atmosphere is not friendly she wai to Arthit "let's talk tomorrow morning, I am going to stay here," she nod for Arthit to go on
But knott reached his friend "what's going on?" he tries to look at kongpob
Arthit glares him brushing past knott shoulder and dragging kongpob along the door shut with a loud thud
Kongpob rubs his wrist and looks to Arthit with teary eyes while Arthit looks to kongpob hand and face he closes his eyes "...don't get on my nerves, kongpob"
"I wanted to leave..."
Arthit chuckles "..did I tie you up, If you want you can leave, you-yourself agreed for five days, and you started a fight on our first date.." he gestures like he cannot believe what kongpob is bringing to them ".... I am not caging you or blackmailing you kongpob, you are free to go, anytime, and anytime if you feel like coming back, please don't think twice you can come to me,"
Kongpob feels like he cannot stand, his eyes are pooling with tears
"what do you think love is?"
The straight question made kongpob to bit his trembling bottom lip he shook his head trying to raise voice "don't you dare to ask me that!!" he yells with strained voice trying to hide the sound of cry
"if you don't trust me then I think this is not love kongpob," he shook his head and nods taking a once look to kongpob eyes "I know you're sick,"
Kongpob gulps looking bizarre to anywhere except to Arthit, Arthit knew how crumble-some kongpob turned he can see kongpob trembling a lot now his legs about to give up he cannot stand anymore, his breathing is getting irregular, Arthit knew kongpob is sick, yet arthit still love him the same 'no change' how can he? He should try to move on from the sick person why would Arthit struck with a sick person he should not be wasting his time and energy with him, he would get someone, someone who is worth! Not him! No! he shivered even hoodie cannot comfort him from the cold weather.
Arthit slowly reached for kongpob and arms circled around kongpob shoulders pulled him completely into his arms he feels kongpob fighting hard to not tremble, he hugs the alone figure closer to him he whispered in nasal voice "sorry, sorry for not being with you when you need me the most,"
Kongpob closed his eyes letting the tears wet his cheeks while Arthit keeps hugging him and sobbing more and more "I am sorry, so sorry..kongpob, forgive me,"
he keeps hugging kongpob his arms moved to kongpob torso and hugs him closer while kongpob eyes keeps tearing for Arthit hugging him with the same affection every time Arthit changes his arms to hug him in every possible way fresh set tears keep rolling down and wetting kongpob cheek
"so now what your pitying me,"
Arthit was flabbergasted with those words he looks back to kongpob wet eyes while kongpob removes himself form the hug and Arthit arms fell lifeless it hurts him, he feels like rose thorns are filling in the emptiness
"yes I am sick and thank god I am living now, so what," kongpob snarled out
Arthit could not get anything why kongpob was still pushing him away he asked "..what happen?"
Kongpob nod "your asking me what happen? Why you want something happen to me?"
"kongpob" he yells out for the first time
Kongpob gulps yet he continues "...nothing happen, leave me alone, I cannot stop which is inevitable," he cries holding the hoodie on his chest "it hurts, I cannot anymore,"
Arthit worries he tries to get hold of kongpob but kongpob shout on and Arthit roots to his spot
"...please, just leave me," he shouts out with red face tears streaking down his face
Arthit have tears in his eyes, he went ahead holding sobbing kongpob into his arms "...kongpob"
"leave me, be happy without me, I beg you I don't give you the happiness....get away form me," he sobs again
Arthit one arm hold kongpob back and one arm cups kongpob face "nothing will happen kongpob, stop being scared."
Kongpob shook his head "I cannot keep thinking about what awaits for me in future, I was never confident on my own life, so I am begging you please," he sobs looking into Arthit eyes
Arthit sobs pulling kongpob closer and they are crying touching their foreheads "your my fighter kongpob,Your living you'll be living with me, don't be scared ...baby please," Arthit sobs over kongpob's wet cheek
Kongpob gulps trying to look behind Arthit to run away while Arthit glares him "...don't try"
He gulps again and again feeling a different fear creeping him, like he might give up to Arthit pleadings
"I understand your sick and I read your health files you're recovered, so now what?" he shakes his head in sad way "I cannot really understand your problem, kongpob"
Kongpob throat struck up he is crying with tears dropping down he is shaking his head "I..I..don't want to.."
Arthit kicks the bed stand hurting his feet "what you don't want!!!" his voice raised.
"your recovered form whatever heart complication you had right!" Arthit is asking kongpob, that is what he understand by reading the doctor's prescription file and kongpob mental health file by psychologist
Kongpob gulps its not an easy thing, he had a major surgery he never thought he would live again, he never thought he would be under the same roof with Arthit, never in his dream he never ever thought he would breath again, and he never been idealistic neither thought that his dreamy hugs and kisses will come true, he is so glad that he is suddenly scared to receive Arthit again, he is scared to leave him again what if he suddenly leaves Arthit and what Arthit would do? he want Arthit to be happy by forgetting him, now seeing Arthit hurting himself he could not bare the sight
"answer me, kongpob!!"
Kongpob nods "ye..s I..I did," he gulps
"then what?"
Kongpob looks down to Arthit feet his foot toe is bleeding "...you..u ....bleeding phe..e" he shuttered
Arthit chuckles in sad way "...I am bleeding more than what you see" he pointed a finger towards his chest and tears pooled in Arthit eyes
"so what more is the reason for you to leave me again?"
Kongpob shook his head "...my sickness had nothing to do with this, I don't love you," he braves to say that
Arthit chuckles "...don't try to flip the pages kongpob, answer me when I am asking you!."
Kongpob closes his eyes letting the tears run down his cheek "...I don't want you, I want to be away from you,"
Arthit nod "seriously, all yesterday you let me cuddle..." he just swallowed remaining words
Kongpob looks away
"just tell me your scared,"
Kongpob is breaking down again he steps back when Arthit is about to reach for his hand he steps back again "....no don't, I don't want to.."
Arthit stubbornly hugs kongpob "....don't be scared, kongpob, nothing will happen to you, we will be fine,"
Kongpob tries to get away from the arms but Arthit is not letting him he pinned him to wall and kissing him ferociously while kongpob is struggling to get away from, this is leading somewhere else Arthit is being in pain and hurt and kongpob could not stop him he yelling to stop but Arthit is not in control
The room door darts open with loud sound while Arthit is panting over kongpob neck, david pulls his son back and slaps him
Arthit yelps in pain and stumbles to stand to his foot while kongpob was shocked he reaches for Arthit to support him to stand
David yells "...stay away,"
Kongpob gulps leaving Arthit elbow, he ask "porr, please don't hurt p'Arthit,"
David raises his hand. asking kongpob to not talk
"your drunk ..." david slaps his son again with tears gripping his eyes
"..how many times I ask you to be careful, is this what you promised me,"
Arthit lowers his head "I am sorry porr,"
"your drunk and forcing onto kongpob?"
"sorry,"
"shame on you Arthit, is this how I raised you!!!!" David raises his hand to hit him again but kongpob stands to him "please porr, its not his mistake, he is already hurt by me, don't hit him please," he sobs
Knott reaches for Arthit but Arthit is reluctant he roughly shoves Arthit away But knott reaches to him again and helps him to sit on bed while David asks kongpob to follow him out.