Nadir stayed for awhile and checked the child's condition at a time, he was there the whole time from midnight until the sun goes up and there I noticed, it was snowing.
Indeed the first snow of December, an indication of my birthday. It always snow at the first of December, and I have no good memories of it. Oh wait, I think I have— when I played with Derick, Cloud and the pink haired girl.
When morning came, he left and put on his disguise when he enchanted some words. It might be some non-elemental magic, it changed his appearance. Maybe some illusion magic or something? I don't know, I haven't studied magic yet.
He goes out and went on the first floor, specifically to the kitchen. Why am I even following him?
The moment he came inside, the maids laughter and chitchats welcomed us. Contradictory to the place, it seems that they're having fun with luxurious food in the morning. My mouth twitched at the sight, they're having a blast while the child upstairs is starving to death.
"Nadir, here you are. Come, eat." Kira said and motioned for him to sit down and eat too. She ordered the other maid to get a plate and give it to Nadir as he sat down.
Suddenly, Kira went near him and whispered something that made his eyes widened. There's something in his reaction that is making me uncomfortable, he suddenly gripped his hand tighter and is trembling in.. anger? I wonder what she whispered to him, I wasn't able to hear even though I was near them. Maybe it was some sort of limit to my advantage of knowing things here.
Kira added more and now I was allowed to hear it, "Leave and go to Aquafredda, if you don't want the owner to know the what you're hiding and what you did here." Her tone was full of warning that made Nadir stood up and left.
I was about to follow him but when I took a step away from the mansion, an invisible wall stopped me. It was a boundary in what I'm able to reach here, this memory is only bound here in this mansion.
I sighed as I turn around and when I blinked, I saw myself inside a different room of the mansion. The room on the third floor, it was a mess. Papers, ink, even furnitures are on the ground and a kid that's crying. Charlotte's crying.
"You killed her!"
Suddenly a man's voice was heard, it was a familiar voice. How can I ever forget the same voice who had accused me of his daughter going missing? How can I?
I turned around and saw him on the window side of his desk, his expression was as messy as the room. Chaotic, anger— no, it was wrath. Hid brows are furrowed and his eyes were full of dark circles— like how a doting father would look like if one of his family was harmed.
The child trembled in fear, and maybe because it was cold. It's snowing hard outside, it's December ain't it? I bet if I were still the same Charlotte I would've been trembling right now when I saw his face, or maybe I would if I can just feel my emotions more. I am scared right now to be honest, my feelings are in shambles too. I don't know exactly what to feel but I am scared— scared for her.
He took a deep sigh and glared at the stiffed yet trembling child on the ground and in a closer look— she's bleeding. Cuts from the shattered glasses around the room, it was a devastating sight but I can't avert my gaze.
"If it weren't for Laura's request, I shouldn't brought the kids here and now my eldest is gone. Fvck!" He shouted and stormed out of the room, the maids and other personnel followed leaving the child cry silently.
I took a step forward and knelt down to hug her— the least I can do now even though I know I can't touch her. But when I was about to hug her, her mumbles stopped me.
"I didn't kill her... not.. me, I didn't. Please.. not me, listen.. it was not me.. we're just playing.. it's not me.. please.. I didn't do it."
It was so low that I couldn't even hear her unless I lean closer. That was also the thoughts I had when Dianne went missing that rainy day but no one listened.
"She disappeared with the light.. it's not me.. please.."
Her face was pale, her lips were wounded from being dry, her hands are bleeding— no, her whole body is full of wounds and is bleeding. Her mumbles are also getting worse and slowly her hair turned white, the color of her eyes are slowly fading from life.
I watched it all with my heart clenching as her body slowly fell with a thud. Once again, a memory of Charlotte, of me from my lives before, died in front of me without me doing anything.
"Hey."
I stood up not minding the voice.
"Hey, turn around." Wait, it was talking to me?
"Right, I am so just turn around so you can wake up now. The palace is in shambles by now if we don't hurry." The voice from behind my back said so I turned around to face them and my eyes widened when I saw her face, it was still me of course but it was the me of this dream, the one who just died in front of me.
"Don't be so shocked, I was tasked to guide you in this memory. Sorry for showing you something like that but I only appeared now because I still can't manage that image of me, us." She then slowly smiled, a genuine one where I didn't saw in her face in this whole dream of a memory perhaps.
"Memories are a vital factor for the soul, before we thought it was good to start everything again without the memories— without like this." She started walking as she speak so I followed.
"And with thousands of lives we've been through, from default. With no everything, started from being pure— Charlotte couldn't handle everything specially with her powers swarming around her soul and body. Emotions are greatly affected by the powers. Err— no, was that it? Wait." She stopped then took a paper out of nowhere with a 'manual' saying on it and started reading once again.
"What's that?" I muttered, confused.
"Oh, don't mind it. Every Charlotte have their tasks assigned, I here to introduce you to how to stabilize your emotions by showing you painful memories and also explain a bit about your power but I seem to forget. So I had this," she raised the paper and continued to speak, "It's from the Goddess of Time who's helping us because of 'debt' she owed us she said. It was a great help though, so where were we?"
"Uh, the emotions and powers?"
Her eyes momentarily showed a hint of realization as if remembering now. "It's true that emotions are greatly affected by powers but it was more of the emotions greatly affects your powers. A vice verse concept but the latter is more important. If your emotions are unstable so is your power that might lead to your death." She then pointed her lips to her body lying down lifelessly but her eyes not leaving me.
"There a combined power that's flowing in you, a first in this world. A combination of both the Goddess of Light's power and God of Darkness' power. They should be balanced but.. if one comes greater than the other, you might lose your life. From before, Timea showed you snippets of our lives.. most of them, the power of the God of Darkness overflowed, overshadowed the power of Light so they died in vain, the color of their hair turned white just like mine since white hair symbolizes the power of Darkness."
She sighed and stopped walking.
"To be honest, negative emotions feed the power of Darkness but when I also saw the other memories— it's not that the power of Darkness overshadowed the Light, it was as if the power of Light was being sucked out. It was as if it left the body, leaving the power of Darkness behind."
"Are you saying someone took it out?"
"Probably. Going back to our topic, emotions are vital factors for your power and as you navigate memories in the later days I hope we can help you with it and I'll tell you this if you don't know."
The Charlotte in front of me was traumatized by her memory, by this dream but slowly she then looked at her lifeless body. A faint and sad smile appeared on her face.
"I wasn't able to reach further than the age of 9, or I guess 10 because this memory was the day I turned 10," she walked towards her body and knelt down, "and just so you know.. I was the first Charlotte, this is our first life. Our first devastating memory. When Timea tried to help me overcome this memory in the later lives, I shattered as if being shred to pieces. I was so scared, I was not as brave as you are now. That's why when we were about to lose hope and let this world end, Timea secretly took a piece of us to Earth. We saw your journey, we cried we laughed and felt many emotions and experienced things we couldn't with you.. and the moment your resolve to live came when you woke up in this world, we also did. The hope that we thought dissipated years ago came back because of you."
She looked at me with that genuine smile again.
"And now I can look at my body without trembling anymore, it was all thanks to you. This memory has secrets lingered to it, I hope you could connect the dots since it's you who will connect the two moons that has once separated."
A light emerged from her body before she could react.
"I don't have much time now and.." She run towards me and hugged me tightly that surprised me because I thought I can't touch anything in a dream.
"I always wanted to do this. We did a good job, don't forget that." Her eyes are close, and as the light slowly consumed her body her hair slowly glowed too. Not white, not gold— a combination of both.
"Where will you go now?"
"I'll be with you, though I might remain as a memory now or less I'll be forgotten—"
"No! I won't!" I mumbled as I hugged her tight stopping her from her words.
She chuckled before answering, "It's inevitable but don't worry, it'll be fine." Everything then was consumed by the blinding light and her voice slowly dissipated.